and welcome volunteer suckers….err…sackers. This week you may have made the bad life choice of agreeing to follow us into battle against Michael Bay’s 3 hour epic love story meets shoot ’em up meets I need another cup of coffee so I can stay awake until one of these stupid childhood friends dies for good so I can go to bed already! Will he…won’t he…will he…oh shutup I stop caring 2 hours ago.
Anywho, You know who needs a beating? Rafe, A kid that nearly destroys half of the crops by messing around in his dad’s expensive crop duster on the tails of the Great Depression! That’s deserves a face paddling. In fact, this whole movie deserves a whooping! We need to head down to the hangers and replace the props on a few of those planes with paddles…. and then line these suckers up and administer some high rpm whoopings! You want a second dose of that Affleck? Here…have another…have all ya want!
Oh man…when did I become such an angry old man of 46…I used to pull for the spirited youth in movies…now I just want to punch ’em. I want to head over to Clint Eastwood’s house and grab a beer and a bat….. and march down to Affleck’s house and….oooooo..
alright…no more late night movies with coffee for me…I may have a problem.
Hey Affleck…Surprise attack!
Pearl Harbor (2001) – Like Batman doing batman shit in a WWII Fighter Plane. It’s Bullshit..but it’s very very good bullshit.
MICHAEL BAY! I wonder if this film will have stuff blowing up. Wait…it’s Pearl Harbor…it better have stuff blowing up!
Dogfight! in the backseat Spell it right Rafe. You can’t spell Ruder. Rafe is a fucking genius.
This is why I yell at my kids….
Mess with Dad’s stuff…that’s a beatin…ya Nazi
Man…this movie sounds great. I miss the days of Spielberg and Lucas.
Fast forward to WWII…soldiers and nurses in a far away land.
Batman doing batman shit. It’s Bullshit..but it’s very good bullshit.
Come on guys! We got nurses waiting! also, nurses can dance by themselves.
Is stuttering or speech impediments funny?
All these soldiers have issues.
Ma’am don’t take my wings. if he wasn’t as cute he would have failed.
These nurses are fancy.
Waiting on an animal cracker scene
Why would I want to fall in love with any of these characters since I know this is a war movie…who’s gonna die?
A drop…not a smear!
A magical movie moment kiss. Ruined. Going down
Something to fight for. Something to live for.
Some really epic shots in this movie.
You shouldn’t test your loves. She loves me.
Dear Rafe, I’m on the beach getting some rays…hope you are enjoying your cold ass war.
Remember…he slapped your momma.
Backwards Stuff Sometimes Is. No worries. Nurse needs a project.
Bunch of Hooligans.
Noo…WWII Flying ace!
ugh…letters keep coming.
For 3 or 4 months these soldiers and nurses had it pretty great.
You do not scoop up your brother’s girl when he is Dead
Do a Barrel Role.
Uh oh. Morning sickness
Spine tingles…goosebumps….a guess
Here comes the real surprise attack. Rafe is back!
Shoot ’em from behind!
Bar brawl!! I’m back from the dead and I’m mad as hell.
Why are these kids out playing Little League? How early is that? On A Saturday? Nope Sunday.
Ahh…the roller coaster of having a brother
SURPRISE! WAKE UP!
Let me show you how to Cook! Pew Pew Pew. How do you like your Sushi? Raw…Pew pew pew…SAKE
We took a lot of damage.
I’m helping these patients! and It’s gonna hurt.
Get some guns in that tower!
Playing chicken with these Jap suckers.
Can not say I am enjoying watching Ben Affleck doing his midwest trash talk.
Fight tha fight. Give the blood. Rescue the harbor.
Oh it’s on now. You can’t attack Merica. Time to fire up the industrial machine.
This is not going to go well.
I like sub commanders…they don’t have time for bullshit
Cuba…earning respect by punching faces and shooting guns.
oh boo hoo…you made a deal with God. You got what you wanted
Rafe..I’m pregnant…what!? Is it mine? Wait…we ain’t ever done nothing! waaait a minutes…is that Danny’s baby!
God…if you just let me not drown here in this plane and let me get back home to see my beautiful, faithful girlfriend….and my amazing best friend Danny. I promise I will never look at plane porn again or drink cheap whiskey.
What’s in Rafe’s little box? awww…bummer…just some letters.
We are the tip of the swrod
Is that one anti-aircraft assistant pointing with a knife?
Really gonna piss off the Chinese if you land in their rice paddies.
Rafe…I think I got sumptin in my neck.
This movie sucks.
Oh come on universe! Every time I send a man off to war he gets killed. I got to suffer through it twice!?
OH NO! The Family Drama. He better live…You know Bay likes his surprise happy endings. Wait…whose the daddy?