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INTRO
Please insert Show Intro 3.1…Loading…
Oh hi,
and welcome to Filmsack Labs where we straddle the line of what is possible and what is unquestionably going to end in a symphony of screams.
This week we have been working on bringing Virtual Reality based AI into the real world by inserting their programming carts into a pile of silicone nanobots. Essentially creating life! We here at the labs foresee great humanitarian possibilities as a result of this new technology.
Oh hands are going up, alright we have questions. Yes sir, what is your query. “Can we make real world animals like realistic snakes and such with our technology.” Good news! We already have! Would you like to hold her? You would! Excellent. Here ya go I! I expect you will be screaming by the end of this intro.
Ok, next question. Can our technology give Russel Crowe a better singing voice? No…..his voice is already perfect.
Last question! Can we create the perfect woman? Well, why would you want do that…Wait, do you mean like in Weird Science? So you don’t mean “The perfect woman” you mean “the perfect woman.” Oh hell yeah. Reach in that cabinet and hand me that crowd pleaser. No not that one. The one labeled Sheila 6.9.
Hey, anybody hungry? Grab that Sushi Chef 1.2 while you are back there. We are about to get this party started!
Oh no! sensory overload….intro crashed…would you like to reopen? cancel. rebooting Randy.
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114857/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuosity
Virtuosity (1995) – Just because I’m carrying around the joy of sacking your crappy film inside me, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.
SHOW NOTES
- What is this now? I’ve never heard of this…ohh…from the Director of Lawnmower Man! Is this the same universe?
- Dig this groovy music man. I actually really like this….it is chill…maybe one of my favorite opening credits…
- Characters come in singles and pairs. 01 11 00 10
- All business suits
- “Maybe it’s the uniforms”
- This world is Matrix’esq
- sadistic, dangerous…3 words that describe him
- What do we look for? His eyes? They look like mine? Did they model him after him?
- You got a rice on your face…no problem Gene Simmons of Kiss, or Miley Cyrus
- Busting through paper walls is not as impressive as drywalls.
- Poke my wound hole and I will derezz.
- Too much Neural information.
- Use the convicts to test the VR Trainer
- Sid 6.7 Sadistic, Intelligent, Dangerous
- haha. Denzel looks like Sideshow Bob
- 9 months off for good behavior. 17 years off 9 months.
- Give me my Chalk. I can use right now.
- Metallic Limb detected!
- He was in isolation. Not anymore. General population. Somebody is mad.
- New travels fast. So was he a real cop at some point
- oh…white power eh.
- That guy brought a shiv to a metal arm fight. He gonna lose.
- Denzel is a biter! A lover not a biter!
- How are those prisoners throwing out all that trash through those slots.
- Come get your boy!
- Letac
- Sushi Chef 1.2. A cart for each version
- I can’t change what I am. I’m a 50 terabyte, self-evolving, neural network, double backflip off the high platform. I’m not a swan dive.
- Just a little notebook flirting.
- “Intriguing…can I write that down?”
- His wife and and kids are dead.
- Another chess Queen reference. Sacrifice the queen.
- She is interactive Clyde.
- Ahhh…Sheila 3.2 Brilliant…Grab her module and follow me.
- Gettin busy
- Just because I’m carrying around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.
- Daryll likes to watch…nah.
- Kicking Sheila 3.2 crystal under the table.
- This guy is thinking Weird Science…and Sid is thinking…I want to kill you.
- Duh…Its a new world Daryl
- Prison run. hoof hoof hoof
- Nanotech Synthetic.
- Mr. Barnes gets a full pardon if he catches Sid.
- So your virtual reality program comes to life and your go to move is to chip the felon and make a deal.
- That is a big brain needle.
- He kept his badge in Mothballs?
- Sid is always getting shit on his face and then licking it off. In VR world he could just lick it off..
- Oh it just got personal! Matthew Grimes killed my wife and daughter.
- Do synthetics not know how to go shopping for clothes off the rack? Do they always have to steal it from folks. yes
- Welcome to our dance club of “Come Hither” and Cameras
- Time for a Rave Symphony! What kind of instrument are you? I am a whimpering.
- Symphony of Scream! Time let very GnR
- Remember the Scream Scene. Louder.
- haha…the elevator bird.
- Shot him right in the back.
- He has to maintain glass mass.
- The Symphony of Collision!!! mu ahaha
- Our hero needs a phycologist. like 12 monkeys
- “Reach in that backseat and hand me that crowd pleaser.”
- Russel Crowe would have made a pretty good Joker
- Sid 6.9 is better.
- Matthew Grimes is a part.
- “That’s how I know…because I know.”
- My purple 150 dollar suit. Now interview me in my underwear.
- All these TVs need to be showing the news.
- Cameras are starting to pop up everywhere…we are almost here.
- Hey! It’s the Rumble Guy! Let’s get ready!
- Kapow…punch everything. Kapow! bum bum…Kapow…bum bum..Kapow
- That guy failed at crowd surfing.
- Sid 6.7 sure likes his human shields.
- what? he killed her?
- “Parker. This one’s for you”
- No arm. No problem. Pew Pew Pew
- When did Sid 6.7 have time to make a embroidered name tag?
- Death TV
- Ed did not enjoy being on Death TV
- Oh great…that was a bad plan…land him in a bunch of glass.
- That conversion process was way too slow.
- Sid can tell the difference between gravity or not.
- How did they fool him?
- Billy is not interested in letting him out.
- WTF Billy.
- So the whole reason for the metal arm was so he could stop that big metal fan.
- If you stand up. It is going to be very bad.
- Bombshop 6.7
INTRO
Oh hi,
Hey, thanks guys for meeting me here at Rusty’s early morning bar and grill. Ibbott, go ahead and order another drink. it’s 9AM Mountain time and you got Saturday night at your house to do. Randy, would you like some wings? Scott, stop it…that’s gross.
Anywho, It’s been 11 years and 500 hundred episodes…. and you know, it’s very hard for me to say this, but at one time, you guys were the best. Maybe still are. But nothing lasts forever. Hard as it is to hear. We aren’t the future anymore. Unfortunately for us, we’re part of the past.
As I see it, if we keep this life up, the only way this thing ends, for all of us, is in a sack, in a hole, in the ground and no one giving a shit. Now, if that is the way I am supposed to go out, I can live with that. For me. But what I can’t live with, and won’t live with, is taking you with me.
So, it was a good run, Ibbott go ahead and order another drink. Randy, that is an unhealthy amount of wings. Scott, stop it….that’s gross.
Alright, well I just saw Harrison Ford slip into the backseat of my Ford Pickup Truck outside. I’m not sure if he has some new intel on an upcoming Indiana Jones movie he wants me to sack with my new twitch stream team or if he is just confused because he thinks its his truck. Because you know, Ford in a Ford.
Seriously Randy, no more wings! Do you want me to open up your meat shirt and show you your heart, cause you will be sad, oh so sad!
Happy 500 sacks everybody! Booby slave! Booby slave. Grab me my Mingo phone…I want to call Flash Gor-don to tell him all about it!
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2333784/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Expendables_3
The Expendables 3 (2014) – In the movie’s own words “I hear this movie killed more people than the plague.” also “How much we getting paid for this?” “Not Enough For Bruce Willis” #500
SHOW NOTES
- It’s a train! Choo Choo!
- Armored Prison Transport
- Put on the lucky ring
- Hannibal Lectured his ass.
- Wesley “Grady” Snipes
- Snipes hates that portrait!
- “Your Dude’s Tripping.”
- Ramming Speed.
- Who sets up their prison fort at the end of the prison transport.
- You put the ending of your movie at the beginning.
- A guy named Church.
- Guys…where are our guys…Hammer…Butchman…gone…damn.
- Why did he blow up the copter?
- “I hear you killed more people than the plague.”
- Tax Evasion.
- Dolph is a sore loser
- 5 to 22.
- That jingling time…your tags up there…jingling…jingle ling
- 1 mistake. 8 Years. Place called Swaziland. Failed Assassination. – Doc
- 49 Pontiac…
- Why does the inside of this plane look like Twitch Studio
- Meanwhile, Mogadishu
- He’s good..shutup.
- They give Wesley Snipes the best jump stunts.
- Shipping Container Ride! Weee get in.
- /me screams “Stonebanks!”
- Told ya Crews…10 seconds…time to mow the lawn.
- “How much we getting paid for this?” “Not Enough” Obviously..the operation cost is through the roof.
- Down at the Port. What kind of firepit facility are they driving through?
- Yes…we do weapons and firepits.
- Make Room for Caesar! Huge black guy in a boat.
- What pistol is Stathum shooting…the whole scream is bouncing.
- Why did he shoot Crews in the ass…but then the chest.
- You dropped the bomb on me.
- Did Stallone have a stroke?
- Meanwhile in Moscow.
- Time to put together a new team.
- It all ends “In a hole in the ground.”
- Wesley Snipoes
- “We’ve been (in) the mud, the Shit and the blood.” – Jason
- Gibson bought the painting because he could.
- Meanwhile, Vegas.
- Is that the big dipper? We got to turn around.
- Close quarter combat.
- Rhonda Rhow-zee
- I need a Job. All I know how to do is kill people…and I do that very well.
- Sponsored by Ford…parked in an empty parking lot. With Harrison Ford in the back seat. How on the nose. Ford in the back seat of a Ford.
- Put a Ford in your Ford.
- Snipes eats all the screen.
- Standard issue single seater motorcycles for all the Expendables.
- Drinking…shooting…stabbing…
- you better be right…ba-bam
- This ain’t 1985…you can’t just go in shooting.
- A squad is like a family…you know what I mean…and my brother betrayed me…in case you didn’t get the subtle drop.
- A mark on Cain…like tattoo…not to mark him…but to protect him.
- haha! “Hurry up, it’s boring” – Arnold.
- now they are the Deletables.
- “I’ll open up your meat shirt and show you your heart.”
- The Hauge…
- You didn’t check him for watches.
- How did he get his email address? “theexpendables@gmail.com”
- Do you know who he is working for? and who he is working for?
- Time to get the crew back together.
- I don’t have any friends. But other than the friends issue.
- gogo…no galgo…
- Christmas is coming…but it is July.
- Morons Need Friends.
- The tall one doesn’t like me.
- Walking the river of rocks.
- “Sally don’t like it.” – Snipes
- PipBoy come on…jam it.
- You didn’t charge it! It’s down to 9%.
- Why aren’t they killing that Nanny Cam that Gibson has setup.
- Get to the ground floor….get to the roof…do it yourself….Get to the choppa.
- Yeah…that is fair…Stallone has been running around for about an hour…he just shows up…wanting to fight.
- For sure is going to have to impale him..that is how this works.
- I guess not…looks like
- “What about the Hague… I am the Hague.”
- He dead….wait a beat…he alive!
- You could have skipped the demented part
INTRO
oh hi,
This Sunday… it’s Thunderdome Live. Where you don’t want to miss when 2 men enter. 1 man leaves.
Hey, is this going to be like that one time when one of the men who enters is not really a man at all but some kind of grinning boy’s head sitting atop a man-body and then when he starts losing… his little person manager hops into the dome in the middle of the fight and starts yammering in some broken English he learned from Vinyl Records in his Circus train car…. only to be interrupted by yet a fourth individual who enters the dome of thunder to further the discussion on who runs the place…. all the while no “man leaves?” Cause that was some real partisan based pig shit right there.
Anywho, This Sunday, it’s Thunderdome Live!… Where apparently no rules apply….. Even though everyone is chanting the one damn rule.
Tickets available at the box office… if you can convince post modern Alfred Hitcock to sell ’em to ya. God I hate this job. Maybe I will see if I can get a job as an elevator operator. I can do that….Pushing a few buttons all day….ooooohh…Conan Style?…no thanks, I don’t do the cranks. That is just jerking time, Randy
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089530/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Max_Beyond_Thunderdome
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) – 2 movies enter. 1 Man Leaves. “Hearing Wonky. Sounds like an order.”
SHOW NOTES
- Do you have gas? I need gas.
- Funky music is funky. Hey! That is the lady that sings the thing!
- Double barrelled credits. Coming at ya!
- One of the Living! Yeah Yeah Yeah-oooooh.
- Before Drones…there were shaky helicopter cams.
- It is the outback! Didgeridoo
- Buzzed poor ole Charles Ingalls of the Outback
- That monkey is not pleased.
- Nooo…it’s Mad Max Beyond Covered Camel Caravan
- That monkey left him his boots. Also,you really shouldn’t be driving without your shoes on.
- Well they wasted no time getting to Bartertown.
- Football pads are in high demand.
- H2O is my go! What’s a little fallout eh?!
- Pelts for 2 hours of woman.
- Nothing to trade…nothing in bartertown.
- I didn’t know Alfred Hitchcock ran Bartertown…The doorman.
- 24 hours of your life in trade for your shit.
- That be a lot of weapons. Humorous amounts. Is he going to catalog that stuff? Does he get a ticket!?
- “House of Good Deals”
- Elevator operator. I can do that. Push a few buttons….ooooohh…Conan Style…no thanks cranks.
- Sexy Saxophone. Play something Ton Ton…something tragic.
- But he’s just a raggedy man.
- Water…Fruit? Death.
- Beaten with his own whip.
- Rule 1: Kept it Secret who you work for. Rule 2: Fair Fight. Rule 3: To The Death
- Underworld…where Bartertown gets its power. Pig Shit. Methane fuel.
- Master Blaster. Little Master…Big one Blaster. They run Underworld. Keep the Master. Kill the Blaster.
- I don’t got no experience with Methane. You can shovel shit can’t you?
- Pig Killer…Life Sentence.
- 12 Pounds of explosives.
- No Trade in Underworld. Not Shit. Energy!
- Who Run Bartertown Embargo. You Know who.
- What if the power company called occasionally and asked you who ran your local town.
- The big one don’t like loud noises.
- Now who runs Barter Town.
- If you are about a head short then add a head.
- Thunderdome. Hand to Hand.
- Meanwhile down at the Atomic Cafe.
- “Hearing Wonky. Sounds like an order.”
- Master Blaster. We want Thunderdome.
- Thunderdome…Live! I wonder what that sign was like before the last day.
- Auntie…Auntie..
- Welcome to another Edition of Thunderdome!
- 2 Men enter. 1 Man Leaves to avoid the folly of war.
- Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. Dying time is here.
- Hey…you didn’t say anything about bungies.
- The audience is counting the blows.
- The whistle don’t work if you can’t blow it. Oh you blew it.
- haha…Chainsaw is worthless….pig shit!
- Whistled dead. Uh oh. The monster with the Boy’s Face.
- It was totally part of the deal.
- No Not Master!!
- 2 men enter…1 man leave…you know the rules
- Technically…3 men entered.
- Bust a deal and face the wheel.
- All laws must have rhythm.
- Look here Vanna…this wheel was not the deal.
- Are there any good prizes on the wheel?
- Auntie’s Choice…
- nooo! Not the Gulag! Nooo…What’s The Gulag? GooLag
- Ride a horse backwards across the wasteland with a mascot head?
- They dipped Master into the pig shit.
- Send the Monkey!
- That poor horse just wanted some water.
- That is more monkey ass than I wanted to see.
- That Horse looks thirsty
- The wasteland is trying to eat him!
- Damn monkey just scared me.
- So do monkeys not get thirsty?
- Apparently, I only remember parts of Mad Max Beyond Thunder-dome.
- This is like 2 movies in 1
- 2 movies enter. 1 Movie Leaves
- It is Captain Morgan? Walker?
- Some lord of the flies shit.
- Delta Fox X-ray. I don’t think they know how tech works.
- Children of Dead Tech and Toys
- What a way to wake up. Good thing they tied his leg.
- Chorus of kids.
- We got it mouth to mouth.
- That is some weird post modern TV. At least it is widescreen.
- We don’t need the knowing. We can live here.
- High Scrapers and Video. All the knowing they have lost.
- Tomorrow-morrow Land. Sky Raft.
- Haha! Captain Walker and Mrs Walker.
- Bye-De-Bye. Don’t worry…we will be back.
- Well yeah…now he looks like Walker since you cut his hair and dressed him up.
- You kept it real good. You ain’t been slack.
- Follow me says War-Boy
- The time is now! We got the wind at our backs! C’mon! oh…perhaps another time then.
- The second half of this movie may be some of the best of George Miller.
- That is just jerking time.
- Language is the first victim of the apocalypse.
- He used the boom-stick.
- I am the guy who keeps Mr. Dead in my pocket.
- The kid who wakes up Max after the gun-frontation is speaking pretty good English. In fact…they all started losing their weird accent.
- I can’t decide between laughing and being thrilled.
- He holds his own…and then I holds him.
- Everybody know the Sarlacc Pit gonna eat ya!
- She has a tiny globe for a map…that is a horrible map.
- Bartertown is our only chance.
- This is jerking time.
- Once a pig thief always a pig theif.
- I don’t want to die in Pig Shit
- and down the corn shoot!
- The turnabout chase.
- Who runs Bartertown? Apparently no one! This place is a disaster.
- This is more pig assholes than I am comfortable with.
- Bartertown. Where you gonna run. Where you gonna hide? Now get me my jet car!
- Ha! Master must have been in the traveling circus when the apocalypse came about. Look how snazzy in his snaz suit
- Great…the only language recording that survived is French.
- Ha! More jump moments than I remember.
- So many stunts.
- Safari Kid
- This is so confusing. Why does Gyro Pilot not recognize Max from Road Warrior? Oh…cause he is the same actor. 2 different characters.
- Max would have not been able to jump that far away.
- Raggedy man. Goodbye Soldier!
- This ain’t one bodies tell.
INTRO
oh hi,
Dear Ma and Pa from your boy in space. Remember how you said nothing never good came from staring at the sun for 12 hours a day and then the sun quit on us and then you blamed me for that and then I had to kidnap old man Elon Musk so he would agree to let me join space force so I could fly to our dying sun with some other astronauts and scientists to restart the sun with some explosives the size of Manhattan. Well…..get out your Sun-brellas. We’re almost there!
Phew, is anyone else hot? I’m really sweating balls over here.
Oh yeah, Dad. I asked them about your idea about “why don’t they just move the dang ole Earth closer to the sun” They said that was a stupid and laughed a lot. So thanks for that dad. Gosh it’s hot.
Anywho, just remember, it takes eight minutes for light to travel from sun to earth. Which means you’ll know we’ve succeeded about eight minutes after we deliver the payload. So if one day you look up into the sky and…ok…it is really hot’in here. So I think I’m gonna take off all my clothes…. and head up to the main frame coolant tank and take a swim. You know what, I don’t need this skin either…just gonna peel it right off.
Alright mom and dad. Camp has been great so far. See ya at the end of summer. I volunteer….I volunteer Randy!
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0448134/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshine_(2007_film)
Sunshine (2007) – For 7 years I spoke with God. He told me to take us all to heaven…in a little row boat…i’m a golden space suit god..
SHOW NOTES
- I looked directly at the sun!
- Our sun is dying, mankind faces extinction.
- Seven years ago. The Icarus Project. To restart the son. “Damnit Sun! Don’t you quit on me! Live Damn you! Live!”
- But that mission was lost…damnit
- 16 months ago. Crew of 7. Left Earth frozen in a solar winter. Our Payload. Stellar Bomb. Size of Manhattan. Create a star within a Star.
- 8 Astronauts…strapped to a bomb….weeee…it is Icarus II.
- The sun looks like an eye! It is watching!
- Look at that worthless sun.
- 36 Million miles….2% of full brightness…can you show me 4%…just do it Icarus computer!!! How about 3.1% for 30 seconds. Put on my shades!
- Wouldn’t it just be easier to move the Earth closer to the sun.
- 29 000 KHM
- Beef or Chicken….
- The point about darkness…you float…like a vacuum.
- Don’t make the Asian guy fix your food.
- Send messages back to the moon stations.
- 55 Million miles from earth.
- Flying into the Dead Zone.
- I see hyrdoponics…but
- “By the time you get this message. I will already be in the Dead Zone. Uh, it came a little sooner than we thought, But this means you won’t be able to send a message back. So I just wanted to let you know. I don’t need the message. Because I know everything you want to say.”
- “Just remember, it takes eight minutes for light to travel from sun to earth. Which means you’ll know we’ve succeeded about eight minutes after we deliver the payload. All you have to do is look out for a little extra brightness in the sky. So if you wake up one morning and it is a particularly beautiful day. you’ll know we made it. Ok I’m signing out and I will see you in a couple of years.”
- Automated Razor Scooter!!
- Sitting in the sun room going blind and getting one hella burn.
- It took him an hour to make that message?
- Prescription 2 hours in the Earth Room. The waves make me feel peaceful
- I would just stay in the Earth Room. Duh.
- Captain America talking to Capa
- Icarus 1 got hit by a minor asteroid storm. none bigger than a rain drop. It was beautiful. Until it kilt us!
- Don’t put your hand in the coolant tank…hey…he shaved!
- Ladies and Gentlemen. Mercury! Mmmmm… Mercury is so hot!
- Two last hopes are better than one.
- I forgot about the angles!
- I volunteer Capa.
- You golden suited god.
- Sweet. Space Zoom Call.
- The space turtle is too shakey!
- Com 3 and 4 are now space sparklers.
- Com 3 and 4 just busted through.
- Manual control. Negative. Computer Control. Negative.
- What can you see? Nothing! I blind!
- I volunteer Yo Mama!
- Icarus II – 0 Sun – 2
- Oxygen Garden is gone!
- This is becoming Space: Survivor edition.
- Somebody has been hanging out in the sun room too often.
- Neither of these ships were designed for docking.
- Subliminal Screaming Face
- The air is human skin! That is a lot of human skin. Most dust is human skin…grote
- “I can hardly walk it is so thick.”
- We are dust and nothing more..
- Capa always goes into the suit.
- Hey Capa. We’re only Stardust.
- Did not like Harvey Death atall.
- Well they got rid of their extras they needed. Problem resolved.
- Weigh the life of one against the future of mankind.
- haha…electric scapel
- Problem solved.
- using up the oxygen you moron.
- 5 crew members. We got an unknown crew member!
- At the end of time when only one man remains. Pinbacker. Not your god. Mine
- Icarus would not full sunlight befrore…now she do.
- Please return the mainframe to the coolant!
- A lot of “my god” at the end here.
- jumping in the coolant to save the mainframe…have you tried turning off and back on again first.
- Pinbacker is not in this dimension/time
- Capa my leg…my sandles….my bloody sandles.
- What…it’s not hard enough to save humanity by traveling to the sun and blowing it up…you also have to fight space crazy time traveler?
- Did they pioneer the “too close to this guy’s face” cam?
- Looking through a lot.
- I need a Sunbrella
- Outside the suit looks like no struggle. Inside the suit…space spittle.
- That was the Capa Suit. He shit in it…it is only his.
- It is the only dream I have. Surface of the sun.
- I wonder if the meteor shower that hit the Icarrus 1 was the Icarrus 2 explosion?
- “Cassie we are flying into the sun.”
- For 7 years I spoke with God. He told me to take us all to heaven…in a little row boat…owwww….my arm flesh.
- It’s getting hot in here..so take off all your flesh.
- just like he described…a moment of free floating and then death!
- Even in solar winter…kids make snowmen.
INTRO
oh hi,
You have reached the palace of Mandovia, how may I help you?
Ahhh, I do believe you have mistaken us for Aldovia. Yes, if you are looking to fulfill your fairy tale dream of marrying a prince by Christmas you will need to contact them there. Hold on…I think I have their number.
What’s that? Any Single and ready to Mingle royalty in Mandovia. No, I am afraid not. We have 2 kings and they are happily married to one another.
Well what kind of question is that..how would I know if they are gay.
Look lady, I just answer the phones around here because I lost to every other man at the ‘arm wrestle for a job’ job fair last summer. Alas, I have no upper body strength. Well i have enough to lift the receiver of this phone and hopefully enough to wipe away my tears every night. But nothing more.
Anywho, I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you. They banned woman from the manland long ago after the men folk ran Queen Mary out of town for her ‘All Hallmark Channel All The Time’ decree.
And now for something really masculine, Randy
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7608418/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Christmas_Prince
A Christmas Prince (2017) – Like a love poem riddled with gibberish that will eventually leave you feeling like “there is for sure going to be a part 2.” Yep. That is it in a nutshell… hanging on a Christmas Tree made by King Dick
INTRO
- Am I going to cry?
- Inter-rickdum. 1 year.
- “his royal hotness.”
- Dec 18th. Presser
- Gay Co-Worker and/or POC Friend role in Fashion or News Career
- Usual Christmas is Corndogs…this time. 5 alarm Chili. Dad owns a cafe. Diner
- Mom is dead?
- Stay true to your dreams…and success will follow.
- Aldovia…nobody can say it.
- The coronation will happen on Christmas Eve at the ball. Duh.
- King Richard wouldn’t have done this.
- From 1st time reporter to illegal entry
- “Ahhh…American” – Classic comedy…mistaken identity and lies.
- The other lady wasn’t due for another 2 weeks.
- …something about a mouse in her bed.
- This plucky music.
- You look like a derelict Santa clause
- Tutor from Minnesota. Oh I thought you said Tudors from the 16th Century. We are kind of primed for royal shit around here…watch out for my 15 century Ming porcelain Vase…ok…gone
- We live in a castle/palace
- 2 to 3 weeks jail for the deception
- ohh…a tutor…I thought you said Tudor
- “There is nothing loose about this goose.”
- Math is hard!
- Spina Bifida…and there is no cure.
- Poor little rich girl….Brave little girl is what I was thinking.
- Jellied meat?
- cookies > jellied meats
- Richard then the deuce
- He lost his dad. She lost her mom. They are soul mates!
- Holidays are the worst.
- Where was king Richard hiding that giant acorn ornament. His other was a bear/elephant.
- Busted. Now 2 know her secret.
- For someone who hates Christmas he sure does like to play Christmas Music.
- Time for the Royal Fair! It is unfair.
- 3 days till Christmas…time for an Adventure.
- Time to drag the Spina Bifida kid and rocket her down a hill.
- Uh oh….time for a sexy snowball fight.
- fancy hair horse
- Her scary stalker diary is scary.
- All this guy does is Prince stuff
- Horse trouble…turned into wolf trouble…”Someday my prince will come.”
- He used a gun to scare it off…pretty sure he was supposed to fight it with fistacuffs.
- He (King) wrote a poem to go with the acorn. Winter’s Harvest…Acorn’s gift. A Poem riddle! He hid the acorn up his ass.
- That horse is a cock blocker. The horse says neigh
- Look here Nancy Drew….you better stop nosing around the King’s cabin.
- Scandal! The prince is adopted! How can a prince be adopted…people be watching that shit…lineage is very important to the Royals.
- nothing be Sofi-er and me. Sofi-ar…
- According to this movie…gay men want a prince.
- Kiss her in the garden! Now the truth has a cost.
- Could these Bad Royals be more maniacal.
- He said some bad things on Father’s death day. I don’t want your crown.
- They have the 3 person “Works” team are here…so you can fit in.
- Princess up top. Red Converses on the bottom.
- Sure…they could have stepped in before the coronation….but no…that wasn’t dickish enough.
- The Fraudulent Christmas Prince…Murmur…murmur
- Oh it is a soap opera
- This is the tale of the Paparazzi and the Prince.
- Emily was an oopsie.
- I forgive you for adopting me and not telling me and letting me make a fool of myself.
- Keeping my bracelet though!
- Failure Plants the Seed….just when you think all is lost…a Christmas miracle.
- Once we have Quorum.
- Throw them in the dungeon…no dungeon! Found the dungeon.
- that is one large acorn.
- Not my King.
- Would someone please crown a king already!
- If any would care to dispute…son of a bitch…stop!
- She is lying…like before.
- Wait…can a king just decree that shit.
- No..you are crying.
- The order is marked with the kings official seal…see that!
- Sofia is out.
- No more disputing!!
- Bippity Boppity Boop. You da king…Finally.
- King Richard the 2nd.
- Good people surrounded by shit people. High Ground.
- He’s a Prince…he smells good…she smells like a diner.
- Uh oh…he moves fast….
- How long do you plan to keep a King on his knees.
- ahhhh…they gonna get married…I wonder if part 2 will run into marriage problems.