Jack be nibble, jack be quick, jack jump over the…hold on…hold on…wait a second….are we just going to overlook the fact that the sheriff’s little maniac of a son Ryan who cooked up a sandwich baggie full of Anti-Freeze oats to feed his dad a week before Christmas is not at least as big of an issue as the killer snowman in our midst?! Deep Fried Jack Balls! That kid has the makings of the next mythical horror killer franchise.
So when Ryan “The Oat Bag” Tiler is not playing the role of Cop Killer by Antifreeze he is out front of his house pulling some Frosty the Slay-man shit by bringing a murderer to life with a magical strangling scarf and carrots to rape with. ..Happy Birthday… (like in that Frosty cartoon with the magic hat) Bam…Billy just lost his head by a sled and is totally dead. Let’s go make Oats!
Listen sheriff you got a problem and it’s not the 12 quarts of coffee and bottle of antifreeze you drank today…Touch my finger…touch my knee…thank the lord my kids aren’t trying to kill me!. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-ha-ha-ha-ha not the one with Michael Keaton.
Jack Frosty (1997) – What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? Poorly sculpted snow boobs? Go get Doc Peters.
Where is Michael Keaton
I had that tree topper angel.
Uncle Henry…tell me a story…no it’s late go to bed…santa will be here soon..no…I want a story…do you want a happy story or a scary story…I want a happy scary story…. JACK FROST nipping at your nose. Because that is what he did. You wanted a story… you got a story.
Pretty sure the movie can not hold up to this intro.
Tinsel Garland to wipe off the window
What an oddly conspicuous vehicle “State Executional Transfer Vehicle”
He’s being executed in 30 minutes…they are cutting it pretty close.
Deep Fried Jack Balls
Gimmie a smoke ya screw…shut up convict..sniiiiiff…filtered
“Snowmonton County” ok Snowman Capital of the Midwest
FBI across half a dozen states. Backwater Sherrif nailed it.
Harv? Everything ok back there Harv…nooo
What a driving snow storm
Good thing these trucks are clearly labeled for what they do. Genetics Research. Caution- Acidic Solution
What a festively decorated death truck
Deep Fried Jacks is off the menu.
Jack Frost…Stay of Execution…denied.
It sucked right into the snow….genetics
Sheriff has a nice casio digi watch
Jack Frost took that arrest personal.
Touch my finger…touch my knee…thank the lord it wasn’t me.
It wanted to run..but it didn’t have any legs!
Yum Ryan…your goo looks great. Just fill up my zip-loc-bag…also…is that AntiFreeze next to the stove Ryan?
Snow man building competition!
Shannon Elizabeth! Slumming it.
Jay hid his snowman….stop peeking at my snowman.
Uh oh…foreshadowing…Sally is going to end up with a Christmas tree up her ass.
Billy and Jilly and Sally and Daddy.
What is this snow made of?
Get it Mr. T…snowballs!
“I’ll find a waaaaay!”
Guilt talk…but daddy I made those oats special for you…now leave them in the car.
Mr. Harper is dead but still rocking. haha..it was the deputy…
Don’t steal old man Harper’s apples
So was it accidental or did the FBI do it? Genetic research?
Snowman chase cam.
pluck pluck pluck.
Dangit Ryan and his special oats and special cookies
Lies! Sam is telling the people it’s all good…but he is gonna go home and bolt his door.
Hey Paul…there is an unfinished snow man in the front yard that spontaneously formed…wanna go decorate it with this bag of kitchen supplies and a snowman snow mit.
Nooooo…stop stroking the mouth!
Are you deaf as well as butt ugly.
Ryan Tiler and his snow golem.
Too bad for billy…he is out…holy moly!
Nice use of Christmas music.
That snowman has the twig eyes
Jack Frost the man was sending newspaper/magazine letter cutout threats and the sheriff was saving them?
Paul like to give that 20% off
“The lord Forsook this home a long time ago.”
Finish my scarf!
A smoking snowman?
If your kid died and some said a snowman did it and you start hearing talking snowmen….it’s bad
I guess that is one way to use and axe to kill someone.
What does momma put in her tea?
That is one fast moving snowman.
Haha…he made her the angel on the tree. Not as good as I was hoping for.
Jack got big
Go get Doc Peters.
Agent Manners and Stone
Maybe…is he even FBI? or is this some Genetic Research Conspiracy
Tractor Pulls and House Raisins
A 24 hour curfew.
Sleep community style
Paul needed a punch the face
The bird noises in this movie are hilarious. Crows..Pigeons.
The only thing the sheriff has done so far is drink coffee
Deputy home repair tip giver
How to plot revenge…not having sex in the sheriff’s house in the dark
That’s a lot of stripping
Want to have the sex? Build me a fire and pour me some wine.
Jack Frost is hiding in your freezer
Well it ain’t f’ing frosty
“Worlds most pissed off snow cone.”
Thank you Tommy!
So in addition to turning to snow and back to liquid Jack Frosty can make himself hot?
Are we implying that Jack is humping Jill?
Who is the bullseye guy outside waving?
Chris’ Cop car returns home on it’s own like a faithful steed
Jack Frost is pissing himself under the door.
Stone slapping those aerosol cans like a punk
The keys left in the door cam pull is a total Sam Raimi thing.
Marla got all the great one-liners…Woman and Cowards first
Burnt up snowman.
Look mom…I’m a Picaso
Trust these people….we might be your only hope.
The Sheriff can’t shoot for shit
The soul is a chemical. Don’t you get it!
That priest sure likes to crank up the heat to remind his flock.
Jack Frost Vision
He’s wearing and Edgar Suit…this came out the same year as MIB
Holy shit…it was antifreeze in the kitchen
The son is the real killer.
Poor Paul doesn’t know that his son is dead.
What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? No Balls.
The church is full of people doing…and even one with goats…just like in the Omen
owww…that hurts…ice dagger
oh man..open chest wound and splish splashing in a redneck truck jacuzzi
hey dad..you forgot this arm..aaaaaaaaaaa
Baptism by antifreeze.
“What do we tell the FBI?”
Silent Night by Jack Frost…scary.
I’ts page 60 and there’s not a single morph credits
Shit in the credits : “Ohhhh nooo, I feel like a caboose.” “Mongo like movie” “Don’t eat yellow snow” “Roundy Round” “Maybe it will snow tomorrow” “Say, who was behind Door #3” “Where’s the carrot in the bath scene?” “The things about snowmen is that they really don’t have arms.” “How many times did you spot Idiot?” “Does anybody have a 20 on Yolanda?” “Is the soup ready yet?” “You want a B-12?” “Can I have fries with that?” – Title House – “Special Thanks to Idiot, Acts of Nature: Flash Flood, No Snow, High Winds.”
Did we ever get to see the secret snowman?
Campbell’s Soup “Let it snow.” 1994 commercial had a bigger buget
International Double Crossing, Murder and Mayhem hotline, how may we help you heap cold dishes of revenge upon your enemies sometime in the distant future after some elaborate possibly unnecessary scheming that involves plastic surgery, betrayal and ninjas….today? oh man…we really need to shorter our corporate phone greeting. Hello, are you there?
Right. Uh huh. Sure, we just happen to have a guy that specializes in heisting horse dolls made of gold. Oh sorry, horsey action figures. How much? Well, in addition to the base cost of your eternal soul and happiness we will be needing payment in the form of briefcases full of cash with whatever weird ass twist of a tip of your choosing.
What do I suggest as a good tip? Well, tell me what you have in mind and I’ll give you some feedback. Right…uh huh…sure…sure…I see what you are going for there. But in addition to having it delivered by a lady in a black dress…how about she says “Here’s your money honey” drops the briefcase and then strips down to her itty bitty bottoms, turns and walks away never to be seen or heard from again. Oh yeah..I like that…it sounds totally unnecessary and we love that shit around here. Ok, I think I have everything we need here. Talk to you in 3 years. Bye
Oh man…what an exciting phone call. phew…time to address my oral fixation..Smoke ’em if you got ’em!
War (2007) – Like
That was fast…Does Jenny know? Cigarettes!
It is your oral fixation…
shot gun credits
462 days of no lost time?
Oh..they are in a serious situation…not just a couple of guys at a bus stop.
Quick cuts are us.
I am Jason Stathom…and I see things.
FBI…nooo…back up is on the way Tom
Geez is this a Woo film? woooo
Man in the shadows is ninja gunman.
Even in the light he is in the shadows
Took one to the face…I got him.
Triads…Yakuza…and so forth…bullshit story…Rogue is a phantom…
Foreshadowing…you never know who is working for whom…
Drinking and driving?
Game day…don’t forget the steaks. He forgot the steaks…it happened that one time again. He forgot the stakes of working for the FBI as well
Oh man…the Rogue really took that face shooting personal. Shot him in the face..and then made him watch him kill his wife and kids first and then burnt the house down. Geez Rogue Phantom
The rogue is roguish except for the titanium bullet shells…that he just leaves like a calling card.
3 years later…San Fran..
Black Light Boobies and Butt…hey hey hey hey…uh huh huh.
Killed them guards with his creadit card…platinum
Sure are a lot of skinny butt ladies in this movie
send in the dobermans. ohno!!
Tattoos for shirts.
Rogue is merciless…killed that poor doge with a bomb
Do you know what Shiro does to traitors…that’s right…bang to the head.
Yakuza…rings are kills.
The old thumb in the bullet hole wound.
Cop is my day job…doctor is my other job.
Rogue cost him his marriage…that is a good thing.
The Rogue cuts his face every 6 months…that is a lot of plastic surgery. What is the average recovery time for that…geez.
Shiro (Yakuza) killed Chang’s Family (Triads) and sold all of his shit except 2 statuettes that he is trying to sell currently. The Rogue was working for the Yakuza…maybe no so much now.
He doesn’t care about ancient feuds…
Closet full of black
That’s my wife Maria…she is not a horse
These two are the Ti brothers…
Careful…don’t leave your ear unguarded
So did he get his ear reattached? or will that guy be our chick in the bucket
Don’t fail me daughter
Meanwhile, in Chinatown
No Benny’s here…wrong answer.
Interpol is down in ChinaTown.
Plastic surgeons dropping like loose skin off an old person
The horses are not real horses…they are cars? ohhh…that is all a ruse
This music is pretty generic…sound machine.
Never pay your extortion money up front.
Oh…they are horses…DON’T TOUCH THE HORSES Ti!
Ok…I want your to take the guy his money…and then take off your tiny black dress and walk away. You did great!
Sniper gun down the ventilation shaft…out of sight out of mind.
Agent Wick says “Hold on Motherf’er”…this mofo is out
Which way down is faster…this way!
Your stupidity insults my father
14 hour flight…need me a salad…chef salad…no blue cheese punk
Pain, Rage Loneliness.
Warehouse 16…you know the one
The eyes…the one thing the surgeons can’t change…but a pair of color contacts and some make up could.
“You will find only pain living in the past.”
What a 2007 looking hone.
I am still having trouble trying to figure out if the horses are an alliteration or not and if so…for what.
“Chasing Ghosts” that would have been a better movie title.
I don’t think you should be angry shooting at paper targets
Rogue has a thing for Maria?
Now you see my gun…now you don’t
What! I just realized that is Catalina from My Name is Earl
Triads hanging out at the local pizza and beer joint being angry.
Sure…I could hit you with a stick…but a burning stick!! Yeah!
Rogue just stirring up shit…so he can chase down the younger Joey Ti brother.
Tube fight! Tubes!
Uh oh…the Rookie is so dead.
Chang can not be shook. That is how he survives
Some strong smoking message here?
“Now that is some spicy tuna…” hahaha jokes!
Stathom muscle car. All beef. Rogue is all class
oh no…not the muscle car!
Goi is right there! He ain’t the shooter!
This take down is going bad
Things I learned…don’t kill Stathom’s partners…he don’t like it.
“In Japan…you would be dead”
Jet Li’s “Eat Shit While Driving” is a lot of fun.
Stathom is all beef and anger
his name is Wu Ti – WOOOOTEEE
Rogue is still working for Shiro
That’s the order…there is no why
“I have no master”
He just ghost knifed ya…his other job is street magician.
he used to work for the CIA commissions to do surgery
If Rogue is in here…then who is the ninja outside!
Wu Ti doesn’t know about the gun under the desk.
Haha…poor Wu Ti…he took a lot of bullets
Never a good sign when a ninja is running away
You never leave the children to live after you kill their dad! That is classic for a revenge story 20 years later.
Rogue is a myth…a rumor.
Rogue does all the smooth things but forgets about FBI surveillance?
Well Steven, here we are explosively decompressed at 35,000 feet without a parachute again. Now, based on my training the average human should have about 30 seconds of useful consciousness at this height. But, I’m way cooler than the average human…sooo…45 seconds….buuuuut I just wasted 15 seconds of that on a word-math problem or is it math-word problem? Whatever, we have been in worse situations…you are! now focus up Sha-gaul…….Shuh-gal…See-gal…….no it’s Suhgal right? I mean how have I been saying it?…Shuuuguuuh…Ahhh…snap out of it, Whoever you are!
Ya know what…I don’t need useful brains…I’ll just fly the brain…so hee-ya! take that fluffy cloud and that…and this roundhouse kick to your fluffy face. Oh wait…look clouds! Did that experimental bomber pilot just eject from our mission plane! oh ho ho… Hello plot hole here I come. All I have to do is skyfall towards him and take my position on his his lap for a free ride back down to earth.
“Hello fellow American! May I hitch a ride back to mother Russia!” I mean….ah shit..covers blown…quick fly to safety Sea-gull! Cah Cah Cah Cah
Executive Decision (1996) – Like 2 hours of intense zip lining, wire cutting, lights flashing action to get the attention of some while hiding from the attention of others. It’s sweaty work but Leguizamos got to do it.
Man this movie is pixelated
All Star Cast!
Very Military Thriller Music.
DZ-5 Russian Nerve Toxin
Jim and John wrote this…twins? Predator. Wild Wild West
Collins took one…he’s dead…for nothing! no DZ-5
3 months later
Gee I wonder if Kurt is going to have to fly a larger plane later on. You are not prepared!
Flying anxiety. Relax and Fly the Plane. Stick and Rudder
What a weird side flash on the Jaffa Terrorist Wedding Napping.
15 years of unrestrained Terrorism.
6 months later.
Movie planes ridiculously large on the inside
Overhead luggage. Stupid Woman!
Sweaty Terrorist are prone to blowing up and sweating
QA Has Bathroom Face Wash
These Terrorist look like Terrorist
I like calling the embassy and playing pre-recorded threats.
Hide my gun in my sock.
Circle that US Marshal…circle him!
Where is the Passenger Manifest…You destroyed it?
Sucking on Twizzlers and scrubbing audio.
Remember Guys…this is a think tank….we get paid to think
We do not negotiate with Terrorist…unless we do.
Do we like London that much…enough to negotiate. Is the President in London?
So we got this crazy plan. Let’s spend 20 minutes of the movie with some nut ass stunt to dock on a commercial jet with a stealth fighter and let’s let Seagal lead it and Kurt wear a tux and tag along.
So Allison died from the Million Dollar Baby death
This whole plan relies on a clip
How many wind shears happen while doing some crazy ass maneuver
Why is Cappy so damn heavy?
OMG Seagal died in most spectacular fashion.
I kind of like that Seagal held out for a better more heroic death
Castle Rock. Big Eye Six. Hail Mary.
Top 2 are dead in the team replaced with 2 non-supposed to be theres.
Shh…double finger sssssh
We only have part of our equipment
Whispering in the belly of the plan…time for a heated power struggle
Photo from 25 years ago…but I would recognize his voice…and know if I saw him.
Co-Pilot saw Americans…Soldiers…ignore this cut and bump on my head.
Yep. Still dead.
I traveled all this way to lay on the cold floor with a broke neck. That’s why I get paid the big bucks.
uh oh Velma…ya dropped your glasses
What is the in flight movie? Looks like Kurt Russel and a Monkey.
The Barefoot Executive (1971) Ha.
They have enough nerve gas to wipe out half of the eastern seaboard….time to just blow up the plane.
Scooting up and down the tube of a plane like some kind of Leguizamo Rat
How nice of them to include the captain with the bomb research
Why not just eject the bomb…lose pressure…
All the tech guys in this movie have oral fixations.
Whatever you do…don’t look into his eyes…his dreamy dreamy eyes…OMG I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES!
I need me a laser wire cutter
This operation has too many rookie factors
Red Handled Dikes?
Coughing Cappy Death
Yaffa is Freeee…Free Yaffa for all!
1:22:22 .. It’s an executive decision now.
2-1 K…21 K!
The bomb wiring is a decoy…what else is a decoy
The under bomb has laser beams (Photo something beams)
The president is out of the country
This is more wire cutting than I had signed on for
Least fun game of Operation every
Also, way too many flashing lights in this movie.
Kurt Russel slowly morphs
The look of surprise on the sleepers face…priceless
Who Bye Box of Diamonds
When is this morphine supposed to kick in.
They are totally NOT in control
I love that Russel is announcing everything he is doing while trying to figure it out.
C’mon Ruth this is your best dog pal Roughy barking and freaking out because you just gotta open that door and let me lead you down this mountain to safety! I mean c’mon Ruth what do you want…do you just want to take a lava bath Ruth…well ole Roughy here has too much life to live to tread molten hot lava death…Now open the fricken door ya stubborn old lady! Listen…someone is here! Oh good, it’s grandkids….they’ll talk some sense into you Ruth and then I can lead you all down the mountain to safety. Door’s open… Enough talk…follow me… rough rough roughy
Don’t worry fam. I got ya. I know a path down the mountain that leads straight out of town. Oh man. Did you guys see what happened to those Twonset Hot Springs lovers…Burnt Bubble Butts Up in the air without a care in the world…well I guess that’s one way to go…right fam…..fam? Ruh Roh Roughy.
Ok Roughy….I guess it’s just me against this mountain. One lone dog on a journey to freedom. Woo…Lava flow…hup…Let’s see if I can get a better look at things from up here on this rock. ..oh good…there is the Vulcanologist with the great hair and the carefree willingness to drive through anything no matter what the insurance cost. He really is quite dreamy though. and Jump! Hey fam…have you seen Ruth? Wait, what smells like burnt up old lady legs? oh…I guess that closes the chapter on that part of my life. Say…could you guys do me a favor and not tie me up until we get out of here…Roughy thanks you.
Hey is that Coffee…Coffee Coffee Coffee
Dante’s Peak (1997) – Like
Where is Tommy Lee Jones when you need him?
This Music and intro…awesome! That Volcano eruption is startling at any audio level
Bikes, Umbrellas, Suitcases and crosses…oh my
Muddy Bloody mess
Marria didn’t make it.
4 Years Later
Those are the worst push-ups ever
Meanwhile in Washington
Foreshadowing…Going on Vacation isn’t going to kill ya
The Devil’s Face in the eruption on the posted newspaper on the wall.
Yellow Balloon…good…Red Balloon Bad
Earth Nipples. Erupting Nipples
Second most desirable place under 20K
Linda Hamilton the softer side.
Pierce Bronson the Vulcan side….doing his best Dr. Grant
Pioneer Town…on Pioneer celebration
Hey…Money Magazine! We have things
Twonset “Too” Hot Springs.
Gram is in so much trouble….go home boys.
He hates kids! He’s not a family man…
Ruth is such a pleasant ex-mother in law. Where is the Ex?
Like a pool man…Yes…just like a pool man.
Do you know when those trees died? Yeah…just let me check my dead tree journal.
This movie plays like a Richard Donnor film.
Last active 7 thousand years ago.
Screaming kids…don’t help us screaming kids.
Ruth says the Squirrels are dying..more clues…I’ve seen this before.
A hot dip and some hot nookie.
Acid Lakes…Carbon Dioxide oozing out of the ground…Paul…listen to me Paul.
No one wants to believe. Harry is just an alarmist.
Norman…get the evac plans…
The Politics of science.
USGS is a lot more cautious of
We will be bouncing laser beams off of it…and checking it’s gases….hell we even have a robot.
You need a vacation…I’ll see you in 2 weeks.
Pizza Stein Bar
Politics and Economics
This town is all about being the best.
Holy Hell…she just burnt his hand with that coffee…most painful
Do you like EggPlant Parm? For Breakfast? No…for Dinner!
Greedy Helicopter Pilot…Overtime! Whatever TV
Professional Volcanologist / Amateur Hanky Magician and Domino Designer
Vulcan Life…got too close to the show.
Dr. Espresso from New York
Spider Legs. Gas Readings Up front.
turn around while I remove the ELF
The pilot is a dick? or…is he taking hazard pay for increasing his rates after an accident?
Your favorite movie glorification of a mundane scientific job? Twister, Dante’s Peak, Jurassic Park…
The Frog in boiling water analogy.
I promised you 2 days…I gave it a week.
One Lane Bridge
She is always making the coffee…
I am not a fan of the “past battle” discussion… Just like back in 85 at Mount Something
“I tole you so”
Why is the hotel owner and Paul wearing the same shirt?
oh no The Gas & Lube is on Fire
The roads are gone! Where we are going we don’t need roads
He keeps saying it is ok…it’s not ok
Get real Bevis. She’s just clearing her throat.
Up at Mirror Lake.
Harry sure trusts his vehicles…how is that working out for you.
Who invited the lava!?
now…a round of Row Row Row your boat
2nd round…same as the first.
He has some pretty good
Damn-it Ruth…she got the acid legs
Grandma. Dead. Row Row your acid legs
Uh oh…a house…hit the bridge…bad timing
Better to be in a Humvee than that crappy cargo van…come on Paul…see ya Paul. Really…a Wilhelm scram on Paul’s death
The sin of inaction. You die.
Do you think we can drive over this lava in this truck? Sure…how hot is Lava? like 100 degrees
Ruffie……can’t let the dog die! Grandma…sure…dog…no f’ing way!
8 years to get this town on it’s feet.
ELF…you got to have the ELF. Chekhov’s Elf.
How tight is everyone’s butthole in that truck while they are running from the fire cloud.
So long Harry…oh…he’s a magician. He’s skilled…not lucky.
Let’s go deep sea fishing. A fisherman of men
Why the hell would you tie up Ruffie…Ruffie needs to be free to run from the bad things.
This movie moves from a larger to smaller and smaller world until he is literally in a box.
Gotta have faith a faith a faith…baby
This Volcano really really wants to kill Harry.
Trope…all machines are broken until you kick them. Work damn you…work.
That damn light has been flashing for a day or two….hey asshole…check flashing red lights more often.
and oh yeah it’s true…the great splicer spliced me with bad movies so I could find joy in even the crappiest of films..films where people with more sense might just toss their popcorn and leave. I know, I know time is the most precious commodity in the universe but here I am every week sucking on rotten tomatoes for hours at a time and proclaiming them to be the best the universe has to offer. Maybe it’s in my genes.
Take this week’s movie for instance…it has a flying jet-booted test-tube dog-man from space skyjacking spindly occasionally-visible always-naked roswell grays from the skies over Chicago for close to 10 minutes straight…well you may think…nah…I’d rather be cleaning the toilet…well I thought…woah! who’s got time to clean the toilet…pass me the popcorn…but hey wash your hands first ya
Also, who in their right mind would ever splice an elephant to make a starship pilot…he would be trumpeting all over the place…I don’t need that kind of drama on my bridge or in the non-existent starship toilet room… Phhhhttlll … Congratulations and my deepest condolences on your bowel movement Mr. Elephant Man.
Jupiter Ascending (2015) – Please make Sean Bean a Bee so he can fly far far away from this movie. Sean Bee! Dangit Scott…You know what…I am just going to give it to Gleb’s crew.
Is this that alien movie
Part Nudity…oh no..Magic Mikes
Technically Speaking…I’m an alien
That is a lot of baby belly…Vasoline!
Over my dead body…name her Jupiter…she dead
Jupiter is THE planet
That was a pretty fast home invasion
Born in the House of Leo
gross she pushed me out too…on a container…in the ocean.
Born in the house of Leo
Stalin’s Frozen Balls!
The problem with Astrology…total bullshit
She cleaning for a living. and it’s always toilets.
Have you ever seen a harvest? Quite humane..
Planetary Marbles…earth worth the most..trade ya
Uh oh..she hates her life…that means the Planet gods are going to come and make it better by Harvesting her.
Bounty Hunters…with cloaking tech
Let me sniff this legal paper…yep…I can see the past.
Jet boots….time to fire ’em up.
Hover board boots…speeder bikes…all the cool future tech
“Do you trust me?” no
Jupiter’s Storm is a city.
Valem likes to fly naked.
It’s the rat people.
We have a name…the universe works just like investigation on earth
Them some scary aliens
I will give it to Gleb’s crew
Harvesting Eggs..People on planets…queen eating eggs
She is pretending to be someone else
Spider monkey Aliens
Only good news in here where I float around with the laughing ladies
Wolf and Human made
Keepers are scary
Flying jet booted test tube wolf man from space skyjacking naked spider monkey gray aliens
His name is Caine Wise…like Canine…uh hu hu hu
That is the biggest pad I have ever seen
She is someone special..Jupiter
Sean …he is already dead
Is he spliced with bees
I need some heal spray
ha…Bees can detect royalty
Trying to get Sean Bean his Wings
She is a recurrence
Vladie – Cousin bought a ton of electronics with his egg money
He was born a runt and he has no pack…he is a lone wolf
The splicer (creator) loved bees…that is why he is part bee
Ouch Concussion gun
Mr. Knight…the rat splice
Abraxis is people
Entering into the Genetic Age
are you a vampire race?
14 thousand years old.
Just a roller bladding shirtless spaceman.
Time is the most precious community in the universe
“In case I am reincarnated…I leave all my shit to me.”
All you have to do is close your eyes to all the horror and you can have everything royal girl.
Please call me Jupe…oh hi Stinger…what the hell am I talking about!
Portaling can be rough on the royal bowels
Headed to the hall of titles
Maybe it’s my genes.
They already said Mom had terrible luck in love…still in the recurrence
Intergalactic Advocate Bob here to assist you to the ascension process.
This is Revenue Request…not Revenue Review
A hodgepodge of all the SciFi you can imagine
Congratulations and my deepest condolences
Nectar…they are like bees…space bees pollinating the galaxy and then harvesting
100 human beings per container
OMG…that is a vile of 100 people you dropped!
What! Will you marry me! But you are my child!
Weird ass short armed T-Rex Soldiers with their weird arms.
You better chase down those compressed space suits
You don’t treat your cousin like chicken.
A fairy tale in space!
The classic…does anyone have anything to say before we wed these chumps.
Jupiter Jones keeps making poor choices
Having an elephant splice as a pilot is probably a bad idea if flying requires great effort…BLAAT
Human Society is a pyramid scheme
This guy is the Crispin Glover of space
2 royals falling…falling…royals don’t plummet to their death
You told me you hated your life. I am not your mother!!
Welcome to hell Carrie, we’ve been expecting you. Hopefully, you took notice of all the graffiti signs we have been leaving around town for the last couple of weeks to prepare you. Now come on in and burn a while. haha…I’m kidding. This is hell…you burn forever.
Ok…so let’s see…here is your first “turd in hell” ration. Just go ahead and eat that one up and get a taste of what to expect…oh don’t worry…we call it a ration…but really there is just an endless supply of shit down here.
Up next is the sign up sheet for the Devil’s Dance…you may know it back on earth as “The Prom.” This year’s theme is “Bring your Mom to Prom.” and speak of the devil, there’s your mom now trying to save Tommy from eternal damnation. You’re too late Margret! Now get back in your Prayer Pantry and Pray to Scary Jesus until the Devil’s Dance.
Oh hell…I see Billy is over at the lake of fire smashing hogs with a sledge hammer. Well, Carrie we will just have to finish up your orientation later. Hey Billy! Stop it! Stop enjoying yourself! This is hell for Pete’s sake. At least act like your are miserable!
You can’t hide from me Billy I can see your stupid Silhouette!
Carrie (1976) – I can see your dirty pillows and really way too much more than I care for. De Palma was weak…De Palma was weak…say it.
1976! What…that’s pre-Star Wars!
Eat Shit Carrie
A little friendly game of Volleyball and then a wild sexy romp in the ladies locker room.
Can’t get enough of naked ladies rubbing themselves??…how about some slow mo for that Body Washing.
Plug it up…plug it up…plug it up…that’s shit only King would write.
This Gym teacher is kind of aggressive.
Carrie White…not no more.
The principal is not comfortable with all this women stuff.
We can call you a cab
Dismissed from gym for a week!
“Crazy Carrie… Crazy Carrie..” Bike crash.
These are godless times…I’ll drink to that.
Here lady…here is a book of the lord for your heathen daughter.
The first sin was intercourse! The first sin was intercourse.
Momma…why didn’t you tell me.
Eve was weak…Eve was weak…say it!
You didn’t tell me momma! The curse of blood.
Here Carrie…get into the praying pantry.
That praying pantry Jesus is a little too real for me.
“Thank you momma for my prayer time with scary Jesus in the prayer pantry.”
Carrie White says it’s beautiful.
It is bad enough to write Eat Shit…it’s worse to draw it.
Stretch Norma Stretch
The coach is just making them girls all super strong…they gonna beat up Carrie
and now…run in a herd. Shut up Chris.
This is over…this isn’t over by a long shot.
Carrie knows she has the mind powers
Come on Travolta…Drinking and Driving!
Is Travolta in the slow lane…
She is always getting slapped…the coach…her boyfriend.
James Garner in the Gun Something
Don’t call Travolta a Dumb Shit…or you will get the slap down.
The library can teach you hot to use your telekinesis…aka witch powers
If you ask Carrie to the prom she will run away.
Having a moment with the gym teacher in the courtyard.
This was the original Mean Girls
You can’t go to Prom without a date!! What!
“We don’t care how we look…do we William Katt?” Well…hair toss…maybe.
Look at all these pigs! It’s a good joke right…kill a pig and take it’s blood.
Travolta is the nightmare pigs have. Hammer time…get’er done.
“You’ve been invited to the prom? You mean the Devil’s Dance? Now get in the Prayer Pantry and pray to scary Jesus.”
After the blood comes the boys.
Tell that boy you ain’t going to prom or we are moving away from here.
The devil took your daddy out of here…kicking and screaming.
How did those loser get all that pig blood in that gas can.
Keep your tits on and I will let you pull the rope when the time comes.
Does Freddy have mind powers? Is he going to be there to count the ballots for king and queen at 6…he will be there at 8.
Bates high school. Like Norman Bates?
Uh…Ma’am are you going to buy those lipsticks?
$10 bucks to rent a tux?
I don’t have a Tuxedo body.
It’s Pink Momma…are you colorblind or something?
I can see your dirty pillows….breasts..they are called breasts.
He’s going to laugh at you…they are all going to laugh at you.
Look what you did mamma…you messed up my dirty pillows!
Well the prom is going well. I love the prom band.
What is Mrs Collin’s deal with Carrie…she is really focused in.
Tommy is a pretty good pretender.
This movie does a good job at lulling your into a false sense of trust…even though you know something bad is going to happen.
You liked my poem!
Love in the stars (prom theme)…feeling like I’m on Mars.
To the Devil with false modesty…to the Devil. Momma was right!!
Time to chop vegetables. They are all going to laugh at you. Chop Chop Chop
Norma is always wearing that hat…even at prom.
Drop them ballots and just start kicking.
Travolta under the prom stage is enough to give you nightmares.
That bucket is supposed to be full of glitter and star dust not pig blood.
Sissy Spacek was 25 or 26 here.
That blood bucket is all giggly.
Follow the rope to the silhouette hands under the stage.
William Katt is like…My girlfriend so crazy…got me taking other chics to the prom…now she is getting thrown out of the prom.
They’re all gonna laugh at you…Mom had powers of future sight. Trust me Carrie…you can Trust me. Sorry…
You know what this prom needs…water and electricity and a lot of fire.
Now we gotta move.
Mom is at home having candle light church.
Now your dress is red. I guess your mom saw that as well. Foreshadow…they are all going to laugh at you.
Momma is creepy hiding behind the door like that.
I should have killed myself the first time he put it in me. The sin never dies.
Whiskey Sex and I liked it
The Devil has come home…you are the devil in this scenario Carrie
Gonna stab you in the back with my floor knife.
and now I am the scary the Jesus.
Head to the Prayer Pantry with Scary Jesus as the house falls down.