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INTRO
Oh hi,
Thanks for speeding over to Captain D’s to meet me for dinner guys. I have something really important to ask you all in a very aloof manner and with no further delay…. hold on..there is a girl over at that table flashing gang signs at us.
Oh no…wait…it appears to be some sort of secret code that you see deaf people using when they want to make fun of your small feet.. No worries. I took an online course on this very subject. I got this.
Ok, she wants to know if you guys are my brothers. Short answer…No…long answer Brothers from another mother….. She says you guys are very cute…but not in a creepy way…awww….ain’t that nice..
no no…wait..I got that wrong…she says she is cute…and you guys are creeps. Well that wasn’t very nice. I am now telling her that she can go suck tartar sauce from Captain D’s size 10 feet… and now her dad is coming over…
Alright, I think it’s time to reveal my big news. I bought us all scooters! Will you scoot with me?
Now let’s get out of here in a manner that would imply Speed but would leave you asking yourself “this is speed?” Ibbott, blast the Reggae music. Randy, pass the Red Red Wine and Scott, hand me that chain saw…what? I don’t know why Captain D’s has a chainsaw…fewer questions more action!!
Speed 3 colon small title We got Scooters.
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120179/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_2:_Cruise_Control
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) – Not as good as Speed 1 but better than Speed 3…. that never happened because this movie killed it slowly. oh so slowly. You’re a mad man De Bont!
SHOW NOTES
- How many knots is 55?
- This is very exciting music and credits
- Ocean…Road…Bike!
- Pop a wheelie. No stunts and no wrecks Alex.
- Tim Conway!
- My last boy jack. 2 years ago…pepper spay perfume.
- So was that the joke? She didn’t have a license? Did she lose her license?
- This box truck is losing its cargo! That is a lot of cargo…What is this delivery delivering?
- Dip…another Dip! 2 Dips…
- He’s a guy that works the beach on a bike.
- That is the slowest motorcycle in the universe….can’t even catch up with a
- 295 Hye
- You’re a mad man Shaw!
- Swat Team…Suicide Squad. He has been lying about his job. He lets her pick the movie.
- He is a romantic…Jack was not a romantic.
- Surprise Boat Party.
- She is sitting next to Dafoe….like she wouldn’t notice.
- Dante…Welcome to Paradise…sell some mugs.
- 7 day cruise
- It is that guy from Friends…the maintenance guy who dances with Joey
- Romeo Dafoe
- I need you to boogie with me.
- Wake up boys. Shake up a couple of jars of leaches.
- Those golf clubs are explosives! and the balls? Those balls don’t look suspect at all.
- Hacking the Seabourn Legend.
- We at Fat Busters…we say Fat is your friend
- Your body is a computer.
- How did they get UB40?…golfers clap.
- There is a multi-million dollar jewelry collection.
- Even the deaf girl can feel the dope beats that UB40 is dropping.
- Daddy Downer
- Drew the Deaf girl..
- The girl across the way is flashing me gang signs…oh wait…she wants to know if you guys are my brother’s. She says our kids would be very ugly.
- Everybody wants these kids to get together.
- Can I order À la carte
- Rich guys always making regular guys jewelry look small. Size doesn’t matter.
- Plugging in my 9 pin serial console cable.
- Drunk Dafoe using his Drunken Master to pull off some sneaky moves
- Don’t drop your tiny coffee captain…
- He just LoJacked the ship.
- Nasty…Dafoe got that while flashlight in his mouth. I hope he washed that flashlight before he pleasured it.
- Satellite Guided Ship.
- Golf Ball bombs.
- The captain is drinking his tiny coffee.
- We have lots of fun…don’t we Lolita.
- We have lots of fun…but not so much fun that I ain’t gonna puke…gross.
- Dafoe is leeching himself? Time for group therapy
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zfXkQ5QkrE Lolita
- Dude…who the hell skeet shoots on a cruise ship…that would be the worst.
- Skeet shooting instead of sex?
- She likes to take care of him…Embarrassing for him.
- Great soundtrack.
- I don’t even know your cop number.
- Do not disturb….Make up room please….
- Maybe I flipped the card…club face! Stole his uniform.
- Human Error…! 4 degrees…
- Lead singer of Bush (Gavin Rossdale) is navigating. The Autopilot won’t go down.
- They didn’t have any size 10s…I told them size didn’t matter.
- One more thing…I would like to plug-in with you.
- Captain Pollard. Who is running the ship? Oh yeah..I am.
- DaFoe is a disgruntled computer engineer.
- DaFoe does a really good crazy.
- The Texas Sisters. …say Dallas…So did Dafoe go home with the sisters.
- Deaf Girl Drew is a total flirt. Speed 3
- You look like a clown.
- Daddy Jerk face.
- He can only trust his instinct. The only certain thing.
- Always cock blocked for pipping the question.
- Dafoe is taking a lot of pills.
- Earthquake at sea.
- This ship is explosive…
- watch me blow up this ship
- Sir I think you should push the button
- 3 minutes to stop….15 minutes to evacuate
- Have these fires been confirmed.
- Sulpher based smoke..not explosives.
- 6 hours to destination.
- Get in the boat…get out of the boat.
- Always some dumbass in these movies that won’t listen.
- Where is the speed in this movie?
- Nooo…not Dante!! How about a deal on those photos Dante?
- She is starting to participate…gangplank!
- Geiger…I know it was him.
- Oh good…they didn’t kill him.
- The plot thickens.
- “No little girls in here…just big women…normal sized women!”
- Come on Dante…stop being negative!
- Sandra Bullock is problem solving
- Why is there a chainsaw on a cruise ship.
- I’m a navigator.
- Time to flood the ship….that sounds like a bad idea
- Chainsaw wielding Bullock.
- You trying to drown Drew!
- Hope they didn’t let any sharks in!
- Relationships based on extreme circumstances rarely works out.
- You don’t have to save the ship Alex! But don’t I?
- Geiger is in pretty good shape for a really sick guy.
- Geiger has a forearm keyboard…tippity tip tap.
- Alex thinks computers and TVs can be stopped by bashing the monitors.
- He got copper poisoning and that is why he is on a rampage. Alex is a bit of a brute.
- Maniacal Dafoe laugh.
- Darn Fire Doors
- Ship Shop music!
- I need my saw!
- This gernade has a number.
- Taking the ship hands shoe lace.
- Clothing is a common solution to these problems.
- Where is the grenade it’s in my hand.
- What did they do with the grenade!
- He is driving us into an oil tanker…17.8 knots. 20 mph…
- Lion ship oil tanker.
- No problem…just tie my shoe lace around the propeller.
- Even if you stop the propeller will it slow the ship enough…we got some momentum.
- 4296…blah blah blah badge number.
- snake that line in there…
- man….he did not think that through….he about got sucked up.
- That propeller is made out of something tougher.
- You slowed it down..but you didn’t stop it
- Mr. Juliano…
- Oh no…blood in the water…one arm free style.
- Get those big nasty anchors up you oil tanker.
- So how did he go from functional engineer to absolute maniacal mad man?
- I’m good with this. Annie is safe…
- Why didn’t anyone tell the passengers about the collision.
- Two Large Wheels connected to a shaft.
- I guess those speakers are water proof and they work underwater.
- I said starboard wheel!!!
- This movie still has 30 more minutes
- Echelon Lion
- So does that wheel turn the ship? Couldn’t do that sooner?
- Lousy cruise ships.
- That is one angry anchor.
- Oh shit…oh shit…
- that is way worse…
- Meanwhile on the Good Ship Bananas.
- ha! this anchors are like…nope…we weren’t designed for this.
- Where is the boat horn?
- That was one explosive dinghy.
- Everybody get away…
- What a very smart boy for seeing those boats
- This slow speed crash is more humorous than thrilling.
- haha…6 knots is like 7 mph
- This is less Speed and more like Momentum.
- No! not the church bell!
- What kind of low frame slow-mo is this? It sucks.
- “My Car!”
- Now the ship is tipping over
- Now he has broken both of his arms.
- LAPD…
- This speed boat chase is the most speed we have had for almost the entire movie
- We are on a date…
- The plane got impaled and now it is going to blow?
- So in the end….he blew up the oil tanker?
- Look what I found in international waters
- 50 years!
- 8 minutes of credits.
- Wow she is back after a week for drivers
INTRO
Oh hai.
Daniel-san, please sit down. We need to talk. Daniel-san, you are no longer a KID. You are a 28 year old man…A Daniel-man… and it is time to grow up. Perhaps get your own….your own…Daniel-man is that my bonsai tree? The small tree from the side of the mountain and its likeness that I have on everything in my home, shop and your gi. Hai, I forgive.
Sniff…sniff. What is that stink? It smells like old foot powder. Hai, just like my fizzy green foot powder. Daniel-man, have you been using my things again? Oh Daniel-man…tell me you didn’t use that after midnight? Oi, then do not eat my special sandwich in the fridge. You already did?…you know what…Hai, I forgive you.
Daniel-man, are you even listening. Hai, you are thinking about that new girl across the street aren’t you. Yes, hai…I know that’s what you love about those high school girls. You get older, they stay the same age. You know what. Take your plastic-metal trophy and get out Daniel-man. Sweep the leg.
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097647/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Karate_Kid_Part_III
The Karate Kid Part III (1989) – Like spending Daniel-sans college money on a little tree shop. Both were doomed to failure. Just sweep the leg.
SHOW NOTES
- What…there are 3 of these…WHAT…4! and a remake!
- Let me sum up.
- Kreese is not doing well. He lost everything! Noooo…all his students lost.
- Nuclear Waste Disposal Silver.
- “Slope?” is that a racial thing?
- Cobra Kai – Never Dies.
- You need a vacation from being an a-hole…head to Tahiti.
- Meanwhile Daniel-san and Miagi returning home from Okinawa
- Nah Nah Nah…That bum of a landlord sold
- Heading to College.
- Great Job with a Dance Company…couldn’t say no.
- Uncle Louie and that giant bell…she is 2 feet away…who gave him that bell.
- Door Chimes are Chimey.
- Miyagi should open a Bonsai store…
- Yukie..oh man…Miyagi spent all his money on Yukie’s home back in Okinawa
- I bought you 20 Dojos…What about those 2 jerks?
- Sauna Plotting while talking to a Massage Table Kreese Mimona…I know…give her a squeeze…I know…make his knuckles bleed….oh I like that Johnny! Full time
- Daniel spent his college money 1 month security 2 months rent. What kind of education is that.
- What that? Opportunity is knocking.
- Daniel-san is such a sucker….
- Oh man…Daniel-san is totally stoked about Real-Estate…forget Martial Arts and
- Mr. Miyagi’s Little Trees
- No hugs…bows only.
- Scheming while relaxing.
- Where were we Margaret. Lighten up Margaret.
- Snake and Dennis.
- Root Karate comes from Mr. Miyagi. Strong Roots. Free to grow as you choose…find your own Karate.
- True Bonsai is rare and valuable.
- Devil’s Caldron.
- True Origian Bonsai. All Karate is found in Kata.
- We make fake Bonsai..snip snip…
- Is there enough money in Bonsai trees to keep a business going.
- New Rule at All Valley…The Defending Champion only needs to fight in final round.
- Karate to defend plastic metal trophy has no meaning.
- Pottery shop. Jessica Andrews. Ripped her boyfriend’s head right off.
- She lives upstairs of her pottery shop.
- Terry Silver just creeping around like a creep…
- Burn my confusion…Let’s let our Karate means something.
- Bad Santa Silver
- Friend Zoned!
- Why do you call him Mr.
- Make a vase…Karate Lesson.
- Snake and his gold rope necklace.
- LaRusso sleep on it.
- You…you can dream about me.
- Good Karate, Bad Karate…Snake is playing Good Karate to Mike’s Bad Karate
- Terry Silver has no boundaries
- I buried John last week. He died from heart attack. No! Heart Break.
- Mr. Silver is a snake tongued snake
- I never say no to Mac and Cheese.
- The Down Stairs
- Hey…lock the shop door or snake will come in and turn off the lights.
- Hey Dennis! show that panel who is boss.
- Kick to the gut…all that Mac and Cheese…right to the Jessica’s Mac and Cheese processor.
- Mr. Miyagi likes to beat up kids and then sing.
- Shoji Screen.
- Feeling lucky Mr. Miyagi…you just got robbed.
- $10,000 dollars for a Bonsai tree. Always 5 to 10 thousand dollars to solve problems.
- It is the tree that Mr. Miyagi has on everything and you are going to go dig it up and sell it…what a jerk.
- This is some pretty good green screen…it can’t be green screen on the climb down. This has to be projection…man this looks so much better than green screen…
- OMG the tree is in the water! Salt Water!!
- No big breaks.
- 3 rules. Silver Sayings. 1. A Man Can’t Stand, he can’t fight. 2. A man can’t breath, he can’t fight. 3. A man can’t see, he can’t fight.
- I need me a wooden board dummy.
- Mr. Miyagi has a fortune in cars…
- New Foot Poweder Smells like Old Foot Power…Green and fizzy.
- Silver is a master manipulator
- Sneaky Foot Powder Thief.
- He did it…he made his knuckles bleed.
- “Get out of my way, White Boy”
- Silver is propositioning that kid.
- “Stranded here on the high wire…above the fire…it’s a long way to fall.”
- You got suckered Daniel-san.
- Sweep the leg is not going to work.
- Kreese is alive!!
- Fighting can only take place in the dark.
- Poor man’s Steven Seagal
- There will be lots of laughing in this Dojo
- Dyna Tox. If you get..you give.
- All Valley under 18 champion.
- That ref is very loosey goosey with the disqualification.
- Music intensifies.
- There are going to be some new rules during next year’s competition.
- Ok to lose to opponent, it is not ok to lose to fear.
- Your best Karate still inside…time to let it out.
- Your Karate is shit. Your Karate is a joke.
- Take your shit shirt you loser!
- We did it!
INTRO
Oh hi,
This week on Filmsack we …uh… we …. hold on a second guys. There is a large metallic ball forming in my office. I hope this isn’t a repeat of the Phantasm Incident…oh it’s really crackling and popping…I don’t like it…oh wait…a naked lady just emerged.
“Pardon me ma’am…it’s not my birthday and that is no cake you just popped out of. Can I help you?” What’s that? You like my glasses…well thank you… they are from the Elton John collection…fun fact…not all of his glasses are covered in glitter and shaped like……hey! Don’t take those I need those to read the rest of this….this….Jethro…no! no! Intro! yeah…Intro.
Oh wait…another ball is forming…It’s a naked guy! He seems equally pissed! Hey guy! Strippers around back ….and you really can’t call yourself a stripper if you are already naked! I mean what are you going to take off! Your head…oh my god he did it…
Uh oh…he must have said something because she is gesturing for him to “talk to the hand”…and he is doing it…literally talking to her hand…but that ain’t no hand buddy…it’s a flamethrower….
Hey Hey Hey…take that fighting outside…I’m seeing a lot of holes and dangly bits I don’t care to see in this context…aaand now there is a hole in my wall…thanks guys!
Well I don’t know what that was all about but it appears that fate is trying to murder 2020 and this episode of Filmsack. But I don’t believe in fate…so suck it ya naked…pissed off…. piece of poo… Randy
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181852/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminator_3:_Rise_of_the_Machines
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) – Like asking Arnold Schwarznegger to rob an AM/PM Store for 30 Million dollars. Talk to the hand. Wait..give me the money. I’ll be back.
SHOW NOTES
- Will he be back?
- Rumbly Intro
- The Future has not been written…there is not fate but what we make for ourse…..NUKE! – Jon Connor don’t believe that.
- They tried to murder me before I was born…and at 13…and at…
- Mom said the storm was coming! 3 Billion Lives gone instantly…just us left.
- We stopped Judgment day…but now…this life…
- Living off the grid…no phone…no address…just this bad motoscooter a Terminator taught me how to use.
- Is it always a skull intro for Terminator movies
- Less than stellar CGI…but 2003
- These bots are humanoid in apparence.
- Bad Motoscooter in the dark dark wearing dark and going fast….Deer says…sup
- Meanwhile in Beverly Hills. A store window.
- Melty Manican
- Terminators always show up nek’ed and with a bad attitude…
- When a naked dude approaches guys laugh….naked lady….Can I get you some help!
- Is she talking to a fax machine? “We need you to make your best 2003 modem face…”
- This Terminator is not off the grid
- In movies the police always talk to you from their loudspeakers in their car…happens in real life?
- 20cc’s of cleveage stat.
- I like your car…taken! I like your gun…taken…I like your cheeseburger….nooooo
- She hates machines…she will be our love interest
- Do father’s ever call their kids…kiddo? Hey Kiddo.
- How many stars is her father.
- She do no wanna get married.
- Tricky Bastard Virus.
- Use our AI! Noooo. Fly with a Bazooka
- Skynet is not ready Daddy!
- Now that is how you keep your Time Travel on the down low…pop your bubble out in the desert
- Arnold Side Nipple!
- Them dogs at the animal hospital be like…nooooo…those are my pills!
- What kind of dog pills are good for on the run humans.
- Stripper shows up naked is not stripper…he is just a naked guy.
- haha…Talk to the hand! Hello hand.
- Elton John glasses…I don’t think so.
- T-1000 gear is pretty abundant…is that a choice when choosing your time travel landing spot
- This drive thru is backwards.
- Jose! You dead.
- Global Digital Network
- oh William…don’t tell crazy tracy who you are.
- Just gonna do some doggy drugs and cutting.
- We got a midnight (5:30 in the morning) sick cat coming in…that is some dedication.
- Great we got junkies.
- Chemical neuter dogs would be a bit risky
- Crazy cat hairball lady’s cat’s name is Hercules.
- Mike Cripkey’s basement…What does that mean!
- His foster parents were murdered.
- Catherine Brewster? A little late to ask…how about a blood DNA test. No!
- Do Terminators have vision problems…they always looking through their eyebrows.
- How does she have all the DNA database.
- Catherine runs like a nerd
- John Connor can not even break out a cage designed for a dog
- Close range paint guns would hurt.
- Gun or Truck. I choose truck.
- Catherine Brewster…come with me.
- Wow…she would just sell him out like that…
- She is somewhere between mechanical and liquid
- Good Terminator…or bad…Terminator
- You can’t compete with that.
- Hey son…your animal hospital van ain’t got no driver side door
- Toyota Tundra…
- Ok…Ok…I understand she could control electrons remotely…but how did she Maximum Overdrive mechanical things like shifting and steering.
- Don’t yell at the driver
- This is my company car…
- Take this company car and shove it
- ok…so she is a little bit OP
- I am assuming nanobots?
- I am the wide load champion…Who even needs a street with utility poles of people
- uh oh…suburban neighborhood and front yard clearing could be easy kid death
- Wiping Schwarzneggers from your wide load truck like a bug.
- This is a massive care chase scene
- How much large city equipment can we destroy
- He is such a polite Terminator
- Why can’t she just turn herself into a motorcycle and chase them?
- No sign of Brain Trauma! nice check.
- Drop dead asshole…I am unable to comply
- A Tx was sent back? A Calculator?
- We stopped Judgment Day…You only postponed it…It is inevitable.
- Connor take the wheel.
- Nano shit…there it is….
- An Anti Terminator Terminator
- Dropping fuel cells like tiny atomic bombs in the dessert
- AM/PM store
- This is Whack at the AM/PM Store
- I need to shop like Schwarznegger at an AM/PM Store slamming shit into a basket.
- She has a painful scream.
- If she has Pet Doc 2…what is their other ride?
- I have a fiance..he is going to be looking for me…I don’t like him…but he might.
- Connor is a bit of a downer in the back of a beat up pet doc van.
- Killing his captains.
- Their paths cross every 10 years…or is that the convergence…they are going to be sweeties and make the baby that does the thing in the future.
- TX is like a snake
- Scott Mason Mask
- Come with me if you want to Leave
- I’ll be right back
- No Fate But What We Make!
- Don’t Do that.
- Sarah Connor put a weapons stash in her will. They spread her ashes
- Living in Baha. 6 months with Lukemia…fought for 3 years…long enough to make sure the world didn’t end
- How did she shoot him in the face for him to spit out bullets
- Thank gawd…just kill her already…she is all reasonable like a real person. I want fake movie people!
- Anger is more useful that despair…basic psychology is one of his subroutines.
- Right by the desert….Chest bursting hand for driving.
- Cate…My name is Doctor Silverman…I’m a throwback…Hostage situation. Impossible things…crazy things.
- hahah…Drop your weapon…and the coffin.
- So is the doc in this triangle as well?
- No Human Caualties…but a lot of pooped pants.
- Contacts with military and his wife.
- hey…that’s not my fiance!
- Tx’s run fast
- TX can take the form of any organic thing it touches…did it touch a snake? How about a cat?
- We need a new vehicle. Valley of Peace is seen better days.
- Primary weapon damaged..
- Truck drive is nope….lady on the side of the road with a flamethrower for a hand…talk to the hand..talk to the flamethrower
- Healthy Female
- Termanatrix
- Robert Brewster – Air Force Cyber Research Skynet
- It is all about your father…only he can shut down Skynet
- Judgment day is today? 3 hours from now.
- Robot….Cybernetic Organism
- Resistance Captured me and reprogrammed me. I was an assassinationer
- If you die I have no reason to exist
- She is in charge.
- July 4th, 2039..you ded
- So T1000 killed John and then she reprogrammed him to go back and protect him.
- Skynet is taking everything down…
- Is John actually doing anything with that C4? He is not making much progress.
- Mike Crypkies basement….it was a good time.
- Levity is good…it relieves tension and the ear of death.
- Terminators are easy to spot…they all look pissed and on a mission.
- Mr. Chairman. and Mr Brewster….all the monies you need.
- T1-2 looks like a bad Johnny Number 5
- Don’t press that Y
- Daddy is like what….twins!
- She’ll be back
- Skynet has become self aware.
- T1-2 is like a a gallery game….pew pew pew
- no…the T1-8…oh they just have sequential numbers…no 7….don’t kill number 5…number 5 is alive!
- the codes are in the the red envelope….you have to get to crystal peak.
- Particular Accelerator leads to the runway.
- Terminators need a purpose
- 2003 CGI
- Oh man…somebody blew up the toilet! Do not go in there.
- Man down…all the man down
- Everything on a swivel. Head…check…legs…check….arms…check.
- Who let the drone inside?
- Finally…Cate is a movie hero
- You remind me of my mother…wrong thing to say?
- Magnets…yes…magnets…take that you mechanical piece of liquid poo!
- He has been reprogrammed.
- She trained on her father’s plane…they are pretty quick to explain stuff.
- CPU is intact but other things…not so much.
- Desire is irrelevant.
- Humans always reasoning with robots.
- This truck makes me angry!
- He shut himself down with his ass cheeks clinched in tight leather pants.
- Reboot the machine! Virus gone…it was 2003…it is how we do.
- Green screen run
- Get a bigger chooper
- I’m back
- detachable legs
- John’s limp explained
- Fuel cell in the mouth
- haha…conspiracy be splaining. It is just a fallout shelter to VIPs
- Her daddy lied to get them to safety…cause they are the VIPs
- They went all that way to get to a bunker when they were already headed to a bunker.
- Daddy’s mission was the same as T1…which was like Johns dad. You can’t stop fate. Sometimes you just have to accept it.
- All those bunkers with old isolated computers…this is the rise of the resistance. Fate…Crystal Peak.
- I am in charge…screw Cate…I’m in charge…till I’m dead…then she is in charge.
- It was software in the net…there was nothing to shut down.
- Our destiny was to survive Judgement day
- Daddy knew but I didn’t want to hear it.
INTRO
Oh hi
The following intro is rated PG-13 for some naughty language and spicy suggestive imagery. Therefore: Parental Guidance for Children under 13 is advised.
Join us now for the adventures of Captain Asshole and Mrs Crazy: Apart they are unstoppable. Together they are weaker than a couple of new born puppies at their doggy momma’s throbbing 8 teets! GROSS
So if you find yourself in over your head and faced with the the prospect of mortal danger, for the love of the old gods, don’t call Asshole and Crazy, especially by name or you may find yourself on the back end of an unfortunate human centipede! Hey! That’s 2 movie references in one! Maybe you have seen one but not the other. That’s ok! I’m not here to judge you but you’re a terrible person.
and now 4 guys in a van listening to a podcast about rave music. Randy
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0448157/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hancock_(film)
Hancock (2008) – Get your head out of his ass and watch this movie. I’m not here to judge you but you’re a terrible person. Good Job
SHOW NOTES
- Hey is this that movie with the Super Hero who is no good at his job?
- Reminder there was a time when it was a weekly event to watch a SUV chase.
- What Boy? What…you want a cookie? It’s Brick!
- Hancock on the bench.
- Asshole is his name? or Hancock.
- How he have a big ole scar on his leg?
- Move. Get out the way. Move. Luda! Onyx?
- Hero of destruction. Up Up and Blowed away.
- 3 guys in a car…rave music
- He just threaten them with a human centipede…him being the head
- Fred Flintstones this thing.
- 9 Million dollars for damage
- Publicity shy
- So is he alcohol resistant.
- Bono
- All Heart symbol
- A good hearted PR guy and a superhero with a PR problem
- Save the world
- What is it, National horn day
- You could have went straight up. Obviously, you should have flown straight up.
- Thank you Hancock. Never hears that.
- Meatballs!
- Thursday is Spaghetti Madness for years.
- Stopping by…eating meatballs…drink some whiskey…hit the head.
- Hancock is not a people person.
- Ray sees the good in everybody.
- She knows this kind of guy…he breaks things…also, he sits on your house at night and listens to your convesations.
- In a Trailer by the sea with a drum set.
- He likes eagles! Eagle hat…eagle necklace.
- Frankenstein ticket and dollar! Memories. I’m not a monster.
- Hancock’s landings and take offs are a little rough
- Michael is french. “Call me Asshole….one more time” Thickness/Goggles.
- Interface with the public…
- Everybody loves a Nutty Buddy….
- Tossing whales…
- Everyone calls him an asshole.
- These generic comics are terrible.
- She watches the news…a lot…Nancy Grace!
- Hancock share..pass
- landing…is your handshake
- “Good Job…” Hancock. Gooood
- Day 5 of increase of crime by 30%
- She is falling for the bad boy
- How to be a person Hancock.
- 2 weeks…nobody is missing me.
- Moment of decision. In or out.
- “I’m Hancock and I drink and stuff.” Thanks for sharing.
- Shaving with your fingernails…gross.
- Good Job. Really…Good Job.
- Some kind of detonator thing.
- Don’t call him asshole.
- Slow clap. No..You good job.
- Like a Hancock Handshake…no a Hancock Smile.
- All the food in this movie are balls and strings.
- Her name is Angel
- He is Miami born…woke up in the hospital with no previous memories. Showed up with a fractured skull.
- Bubble Gum and 2 Movie Tickets. Boris Frankenstein
- Asked me for my John Hancock.
- He is at least over 80 years old
- Nobody was there to claim him 80 years ago.
- “Hancock…tucking me in.”
- She is powered too!
- Ray better not find out.
- He is always asking if it is hot in there? Does their being together create heat?
- gods, angels…superhero
- We are brother and sister. No we are not!
- Jiffy Pop Trailer
- Persian, Greek, Brooklyn. 3000 years
- Crazy is her trigger word. Asshole is his.
- No one ever called here crazy?
- She is stronger…Triple Twister!
- He wants to put hearts all over the world.
- A Matter of convenience…he saw it all. Green 44
- I was flying
- Pairing up and died.
- Technically speaking he is my husband.
- I’m Immortal.
- Built in twos. Fate doesn’t decide everything.
- Back to the sauce.
- Kenneth Red Parker.
- Former Psychology Student.
- Zagnut bar through the head.
- Uh oh. He is mortal.
- Did she poison him with the Meatballs? She had been setting it up for years?
- When the get close together he loses his powers? It is happening faster.
- Made in pairs…when we get close together we become mortal and grow old and die
- 4BC Came after her with sorts
- Every time he saves her she pushes him away to save him.
- 80 years ago there was an ambulance and Frankenstein with Karloff?
- He is the gods insurance policy.
- She is mortal.
- He don’t mind killing a fool
- He already had the kid before they met
- They are E.T. up in here…she feels…he feels
- She ded
- Having a head up your butt must make you pretty strong.
- Ha! He chopped of his other hand!
- He got to go to make her strong.
- Their weakness is one another.
- 1 month later
- Attila the Hun. Cross Eyed.
- Look up….Hancock painted the moon. Good Job Ray.
- He has a hawk/eagle? He is the god of hawk/eagle?
- Everybody keeps calling him asshole and he is always threatening to damage assholes…this movie is obsessed with crazy assholes
- Planes do not exist in this world
INTRO
Oh hi,
Hey listen, thanks for letting me ride along with your Storm Chasing team to track down and research Tornados. This will no doubt be a valuable experience for my new podcast: Tornado Talkers. What’s that? Roll the maps? Oh sorry…I was just folding them like a rookie. My bad.
Ok, so as a podcaster here is my Tornado wish list for the next 24 hours, in order of a convenient rising action. First a Side Winder, then Twister Sisters, A Jumper, A Night Stalker and finally the much talked about… Daddy Killer a real 5 Fs Tornado. Oh it’s F5…so not Fs to the 5th power then.. Ok ok…I’m rolling the maps…
Oh hey look is that one of those Motel-Garage-Food Stand-Drive-Ins over there? We should totally stop by there tonight on our way back. Hot snot! They are showing the Shining! A manly High 5 ensues! H5! No? I know…roll the maps. Man, you sure got a lot of maps.
Slightly off-topic, what do you suppose they are drinking from that straw that runs into the roof of that one truck. Yeah, the barn burner truck…oh…it’s tropical fruit punch? Cool…cool…yeah that was NOT what I was guessing….. Oh theres a second straw…and where does that one go…oh…oh…one end out of the floor of the truck and the other end up your pants.
Alright, I rolled up all the maps…you can just let me off here. I can probably catch an early showing of the Shining for my new podcast Roadside Motel,Garage,Food Stand,Drive-in: The Midwest Experience.
Oh look…cows!
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117998/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twister_(1996_film)
imdb.com/title/tt0117998/(opens in a new tab)
Twister (1996) – It’s the wonder of nature baby. Hey, why don’t we just ride these horses out of here! Oh look…cows! #chaos
SHOW NOTES
- Twister
- June 1969
- Momma’s got ya Joe.
- Tobey! C’mon.
- F5
- To the Storm cellar mom!
- F the chickens!
- Nothing like waiting until the last second to head to the storm cellar
- That storm is growling.
- Dumb man thinking he can hold the door…also…maybe next time a stronger latch on your storm door.
- Meanwhile in space.
- G.O.E.S. 8 Weather Satellite
- NSSL
- Tornadoes and coffee…they go hand in hand.
- All I am saying is “don’t fold the maps. Roll the maps…there is a crease.”
- Barn Burner
- “A Manly Handshake Ensues” – The Dust man.
- Biggest series of storms in 12 years
- It is the same as it was in December…
- “The Suck Zone, The point at which the twister just sucks you up…” – The Dust Man
- New Job, New Truck, New Wife
- Dorothy…she’s here…I Dorothy
- “To the extreme!”
- Nobody know how a Tornado works. Until now…data from inside of the tornado.
- 3 minute warning time. Trying to get to 15 minutes
- Fire up the action music.
- Lets go go go…pack it up…set it up…pack it up
- It’s what they do
- He’s back…I’m not back…he is so back.
- Thank you southern girl
- In it for the money and has high tech gadgets but no instincts Jonas
- His balls are cubes.
- Unrealized Idea..Unrealized Idea
- Bill is looking for the opposite…stability The ying and yang
- Hot Pit BBQ
- Bill is a human barometer and Twister Talker
- We are going Green…Greenage
- Ha ha! It’s the wonder of nature baby! Drink from the Barn Burner straw.
- The chaos os 3 different musical themes at once on the road trip.
- “Joan…she didn’t marry your penis…ok…she didn’t only marry your penis.”
- I bet those spikes are topping 40k
- No one has caught the magic of storm chasing since this movie?
- This tornado is a sidewinder…duh
- Liability only…I bet his insurance is ridiculous.
- Very large rope on the ground
- “I got to go Julia…we got cows.”
- Twister Sisters.
- Triplets
- Aunt Meg with all the chimes and food.
- Meg has the meats.
- Is she going to eat that meat or just fork those rolls.
- Bill is the Extreme
- F4 would relocate your house.
- F5 finger of God
- Let’s find this road…it’s like Bob’s Road
- Hail!
- “That’s no moon…it’s a space station…woooo”
- Rabbit is good…Rabbit is wise…
- Melissa look at this!
- The cone of silence! Nooo…We got a jumper.
- Are Bill and Joe not aware that their mics are always on. Or is Joe setting it on on purpose.
- Motel/Garage/Drive-In/Tornado Hole (Canton)
- Maybe the tornado is trying to kill Joe. It’s Twister Destination
- Night time tornadoes are the scariest.
- That Drive in is playing Psycho and The Shining.
- Galaxy Drive In?
- I knew the TV would kill me.
- Poor Meg’s cows. Did you see Meg’s cows out front? I did…they were flying around…well the same cow…sucked up by some Twister Sisters.
- RIDE THEM HORSES OUT OF THERE!
- OMG…who are these people!
- They should have went into the house.
- Those kill farmers had a storm cellar.