INTRO oh hi, This week on Filmsack we forgo the buttered popcorn and soda and go straight for a big ole cup of juice extracted straight from an alien hobo’s arm…[drink] bleh…looks like we should have went with the pulp free alien arm squeezings…these chunks are hard to swallow. Garçon, Read more…
INTRO Oh hi, If you are listening to this then you ARE the resistance And as the resistance I’m going to have to ask you to be an organ donor ….because you never know when John Connor the great and angry…. may need a heart transplant in the field. Totally Read more…
INTRO Oh hi, and welcome to my very modern and chic 70s apartment of the future where things are totally not creepy and weird. Over here is my darkroom where I develop pictures of dead and/or angry people in curious poses…depicted in various stages of undress…so…no ugos. Speaking of no Read more…
INTRO Oh hi Filmsack, Chronologically, you’re episode 4-0-1 today. Physically, you’re still 400. No, I didn’t expect us to wake up transformed. I just thought that turning 4-0-1 is so major that we’d wake up with an improved mental state that would show on our faces. All that shows is Read more…
We are here for the shark slayer. The one your people call….Dreyfuss. Ahh…there he is now…good good he received our mind mail…. there were concerns about compatibility. We discussed sending a DM via Social Media. But that is still decades or more away. Spoiler, it changes everything. With great power come great responsibility #excelsior
Anywho, The ladies up here have authorized me to offer you a trade for these 100 totally not shark slayers for your 1 Dreyfuss, Shark slayer 100 percent.
Excellent ah. It would appear the trade has pleased Dreyfuss. So suck it and thank you people of earth for your sacrifice…. the universe will love you long time. am I saying that correctly?
Ha Now….to SPACE! Where we will engage the great space shark in a battle we will call Jaws X – little title Dreyfus in Space.
Oh wait. I almost forgot. Dreyfuss, would you like to say goodbye to anyone? No? perhaps your wife and kids? No? You sure…damn you are one cold hearted shark slayer…what’s that Dreyfuss..Scheider slayed the shark? You just poked it with a stick?
Well we got what we got. Someone get this human a stick….to SPACE!
Pilot PLAY THAT FUNKY BEAT.
And thank you for agreeing to meet me in the woods of Transylvania to execute the worst plan ever. Ok, so here is the deal, we are going to tie my brother up to that stake over there in the clearing to lure out the Lycan…that’s a werewolf or “wolfman” for you basic village folk. By the way, I learned that word on the set of Underworld…oh and this….I learned this too…look at my bottom…look at it…ok…stop…Where did you guys get guns? I thought you were pitchfork and sickle people.
Well it doesn’t really matter, because I only brought the one silver bullet. So don’t shoot your guns. I repeat. Do not shoot your guns. as a matter of fact just give me the guns. give them to me. The only real harm you can create with those guns is if you shoot my brother or the elaborate pulley system we have set up. So don’t do it.
Alright, speaking of Pulleys…The pulley system is the hottest tech going in Transylvania today. In fact we will be showcasing it a lot in our movie…err…everyday tragic lives. So get used to these overly complex and often broken Pulley systems and by the end of this movie you will beg the Devil to never see another Pulley stunt again.
“In the name of God. Stop this movie!”