INTRO
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Oh hi,
This week on Filmsack, we cry like a bunch of orphaned SOLARBABIES on wheels in the desert when the EPA of the future goes all police state and hordes all the water like some sort of mad max e-girls with no intention of letting us keep our magical space Bo-die Ball… No BO-DIE! You must respect their E-Author-a-tie in this low-budget, financed-by-Mel-Brooks’s-second-mortgage, “Oh, I’ll fly to Spain and fire every last one of you if you don’t stop bitching and get back to work” 1986 do-or-die sci-fi adventure, now tripping balls on your favorite ad-supported streaming service. We see you, Tubi. I mean… TU-BYE!
Anywho, down in Tire Town, they’ve built an entire civilization around tires. They live in tires. They decorate with tires. They roll downhill inside tires. What’s my job in Tire Town? I melt the tires. Why? To make room for more tires. It’s a closed-loop tire economy,
Randy, get out, you creature of filth. nah I’m just kidding you can stay in. Hey are you doing something different with your hair? Like putting it up in a pony tail on one side of your head. How ethnic-y of you.
[/ppp_patron_only] year 41 and orphan hole 43
BRIEF
In a drought-ravaged future where water is tightly controlled by the militaristic Eco Protectorate, a group of roller-skating orphans discover a mysterious glowing sphere with incredible powers. Armed with little more than roller skates, friendship, and questionable judgment, they set out to restore hope—and maybe some water—to the world.
1986 | PG-13 | Sci-Fi / Adventure | 1h 34m
LINKS
IMDb: Solarbabies (1986)
Wikipedia: Solarbabies Wiki
Rotten Tomatoes: RT Page
TV Tropes: TV Tropes
WHERE TO WATCH
Streaming: Check JustWatch for current availability.
TRAILER / CLIPS
Social Media Post
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Solarbabies (1986) – Like a Saturday afternoon movie made for babies of the 80s and not a movie about powering your house with infants. #MadMaxForKids Except for that last part… that was gruesome. #TortureBot
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SHOW NOTES
- Post-apocalyptic… but make it roller hockey.
- Fanfare! Teens of a certain age unite! For SciFi
- Jack Frost Sanders… come on
- We live in a new time. The year is 41 and the protectorant keeps all the water… therefore all life. I work in a post apocolyptic orphanage. I too must serve the system. In my dreams I remember the real earth.
- Tales told by the
- The Brody… is it legend.
- Inline skating up a hill in front of the moon… it is Lunarbabies
- hey… I need those headphones….
- Is this kid deaf?
- Put on my skate head lights and get tot he bowl to fight the rival orphan gang down at the quarry.
- No worries… Owl kid is here…
- Good thing we wore our pads.
- We Challenge… We accept… by the rules….elbow to the back.
- These kids look thirsty.
- What is your job deaf Timmy? Turn the lights on.
- The best I can tell it looks like this game is a game
- Randy Randy, I’m open… pass me the orphan ball! Slam dunk? Is that the term.
- Scramble… e-cops!! Let’s accelerate.
- Skate… or die!
- Quick to the skate caves!
- Scorpions… can’t even beat a bunch of left brains… with their homemade gear…
- Kind of effective to mute the film when the kid can’t hear.
- I found the Bohde! Radical dude.
- Hey… this must be a hearing sphere… thank you glowing ball.
- Boh-die… what is your name ball… Ball-Die? no… Boh-Die.
- Water privileges have been revoked.
- Hey Boh-die ball… do you like to breath.
- Appear with enthusiasm for your training.
- Odd name for a Skateball Team. Solarbabies ain’t menacing.
- They call themselves Eco-Warriors.
- The E-protectorant.
- There are no rules at the arena.
- The Stitcher is strict.
- Go do your cubic meters.
- Hey check it… this guy looks ethnic…cause of his hair… you got a problem Darstar…
- Oh you like drawing in the dirt… well I am going to bully you.
- Randy, get out, you creature of filth.
- Life is never so miserable that you can’t add a bully to make it more miserable.
- All that dog squeeze.
- Overamped over these pseudo-factoids.
- Hey. It is raining inside our co-ed orphan quarters. Lets dance and splash around.
- You can hear without your electric ears.
- My glowing orb did it.
- Of course he heard me…
- Bodhi hears just like we do.
- The bird guy is nosy.
- Hey, don’t get enough skate during the day? Then go get some Skate rec in. You know… skate around and get overstimulated and get in a fight.
- Hey Bodhi… can you breath in there?
- Hey Boh-die…. show me the future. I’ll hold you.
- it is Boh-Die… there Bodie.
- This ball wants to play… and do ball stuff. LET’S DO BALL STUFF!! YEAH!
- Damnit birdman.. You just gonna steal our magic ball.
- Darkstar took it all.
- Hey wake up… I’m going to rub your shirtless belly… to wake you up.
- Like what… Surgical alteration.
- Secret Ballet! No peer pressure.
- Roller blades loooove dirt and little pebbles.
- Maybe if that guy wasn’t wearing a weather suit in the desert he would be less angry.
- Give them to me… surgical altering!
- Love will set you free… for some reason… Escape music
- We need some to launch ourselves over… but not the leader… he got this.
- I call myself Darkstar.
- You are Chiconi … look at your weird hair… only one of our people could have hair like that.
- He’s old. He lives only to keep the past.
- As much as anyone can own an owl.
- It has power… it has will.
- Where did it come from. The stars… maybe elsewhere.
- I sit on my wax bones of a old man throne.
- Xanadu!
- haha… that car crashing into their tent..
- Burn the village!
- What a dick… he shot his owl.
- Cover him in ants! … it is his fear.
- Bring me their leader Malice.
- Hey, a free cave can of Man’s Brew.
- Everything has a light straight to it.
- Welcome to TireTown. It’s our whole vibe. We had tires… so we did a whole tire thing.
- What’s your job in TireTown… well… I burn the tires… but why…
- The girl with the blue tattoo.
- I stole your ball cause I thought it would do magic for me.
- SKATE AWAY!!
- Hey guys… how we gonna get away? Let’s take a ride in these giant tires down this hill.
- Randy, I’ll barter for what you got.
- Orphans have all found their home?
- This is a our iceblock… it is where we get our water.
- The EcoWar was hard…
- Bohdi doesn’t call anymore… do you suppose he lost my number?
- Bohdi showed me something…
- So the kids is just no longer deaf at all.
- I love their welding shields on theater spectacles.
- The Aquabunker!
- I don’t understand…
- He has been programmed to enjoy what he does… torture.
- Can pluck the eye from a bird.
- Pole Vaulting SolarBaby.
- Terminex … I am programmed to hate.
- Filmed at a 45 degree angle so you know it is the future.
- What is your job? To hang around in this evil lair and dress like an 80s professional lady.
- Bohdi was just playing with you guys…
- This is really all about a kid and his ball and the mean adults who want to take it from him. Solarbabies.
- This movie gets pretty violent at the end.
- All the places are going to blow.
- We returned the water to the people… thanks to this kids ball.
- It’s a thundercloud. The water is free… we have freed the water… thank you Bodhi… radical dude.
- Bodhi will always be with us.
