Oh hi,
Oh hai, Sit down Daniel-son we need to have a talk. You are no longer a kid Daniel-son. You are a 28 year Old man. A Daniel-man. Yes, hai…I know That’s what you love about those high school girls. You get older, they stay the same age.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097647/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Karate_Kid_Part_III
The Karate Kid Part III (1989) – Like
Oh hi,
Hey you guys…hey have you looked outside today? The suns are almost in conjunction! and you know what that means! It’s time to sing the song of our people! Late 70s and early 80s kids join in..
Conjunction Junction what’s your Function? Hey! I can’t do it this alone ..Alright…Alone then.
Hold up…did anyone happen to catch Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler’s appearance in this week’s film? Yep he played all the Gelfling parts. Jen. that was him. Kira…also him. Whaaat. Boys don’t have wings silly! What are you?!
also, I enjoyed Bob Ross’s head as FizzGig… rolling…rolling…rolling around like a happy little tree ….that wants to bite your ankles.
Well the suns are all lined up. Time for the next intro. Alright, together then.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083791/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dark_Crystal
The Dark Crystal (1982) – Like a Landstrider’s tongue striking at the lobster back of my childhood memories. Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare. alright, alone then.
Lord Grade
This is more Lord of the Rings than Lord of the Rings
That fat Skeksis. Never noticed him before…
1000 years ago.
The Skeksis story
Now the Mystics Story. There are only 10.
3 or 4 arms?
There is a balance in the force.
Gelfling – Jen. The Journey of Jen!
Before the 3 suns merge?
Augra! Give us the shard! Follow the greatest sun.
The Skeksis live on a power sub station
Stop making that mmmm…noise ya freak,,,mmmmm…mmm…Lord Chamberlain. M
Mine!….Mine!!! Emperor no die…..he died.
Mystics just sparkle out. Skeksis decay to dust. Heck…they even send the mystics his shit in the afterlife. The greedy Skeksis gets nothing.
“I can’t do it alone…Alright…Alone then.” – Jen
Trial by stone!!
Well…the general did it….but I got to say…that stone looked it it had already seen some good whacks.
Shame…Shame…Shame Chamberlain.
The Crystal Calls. Ahhh…they Skeksis thought they had killed all of the Gelflings. Not so.
Steven Tyler grew up to be a Geflfling.
Augra is missing an eye….Do you suppose she lost it by holding it in her hand to peek around corners?
I want a Fizzgig
Gelflings can share memories with a touch.
In the shapes of kindness.
Sent the crabs…check…send the bats
Oh you hurt your arm…let me rub some moss on it
oh master…nothing is simple anymore.
wait..please make peace
I want a landstrider
“alright, together then.” – Jen
Kira can talk to all the creature of Thra
Come on Podling…look into the great shaft of the castle….feel the power of the dark crystal.
You are very lucky…only the emperor can drink your essence.
Liar…Slave Squeezer.
They locked Aughra up!
Kira lives with Podlngs.
Those land-striders have some kind of acid tongues.
Wings! I don’t have wings!
yes…this face shaped hole must be an entrance into the castle.
It’s almost time for the Conjunction Function .. Conjunction Function
Durn Garthims
This castle is built on a lava tube!
So you can look at the crystal….just don’t look up the crystal’s skirt.
Rolling rats…a lot of rolling furries in this movie
Kira didn’t even get to watch the Crystal Show!
Heal the crystal Jen!
cool cool…the podlings got their essence back. Does that mean so does Kira? Cuase she was looking rough.
Got to save the FIzzGig
They turned into the thing.
The Two made one.
We give you the Crystal Of Truth? Make it’s world your light?
You weren’t even of Thra!
Dude…do you even Thra.
I really enjoyed the head of Bob Ross as FizzGig
Oh hi,
This week on Filmsack we jump our space jalopy into the future past of the 22nd century by sling shotting back into the 80s to watch some movie that looks and sounds like it was made for TV but for some brainworks beyond my comprehension ended up in the theater…in 3d! Which we didn’t watch that version because apparently you can’t which is fine because I don’t need that. Because, I already had to sand blast my eyes like Vin Diesel in Pitch Black. You can’t unsee some this crap.
Anywho, What movie am I talking about? Spacehunter: Adventures in the Friend Zone. Despite eventually landing top billing on subsequent releases of this film on VHS,DVD and BluRay (what no laserdisc) Molly Ringwald can’t seem to get the womanly attention she needs from Swashbuckler lead Peter Strauss. In fact….no one in this movie can get the loving they want or need…it’s probably pretty generous to think that anyone in this movie deserves even the friend zone…so perhaps the title of Forbidden Zone is more accurate. I stand corrected.
Hey what’s that over there….Is that the Molotov kids.
We represent the Molo-tov kids,
The Molo-tov kids,
The Molo-tov kids
And in the name of the Molo-tov kids,
We wish to welcome you to Night-Mare-Land.
Tra la la la la la la
Hey, Don’t skiz my intro you skrotties.
Randy
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086346/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spacehunter:_Adventures_in_the_Forbidden_Zone
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983) – Like fly shit on a window. Wait, It’s not blowing off. Emergency Windshield Wiper Fluid Procedure Number 1. Nope. Again! That’s just making it worse! We have blood loss here. Again. Again.
Very Superman opening
Everything is going to be ok. Run.
E-Type…Earth Type.
These effects are not spectacular.
Those crash helmets are pretty sweet.
This earth type planet is no good.
Is that the voice of Harold Ramis over the space comm?
Emergency Repair Procedure Number 1.
3 thousand mega credits. What a reward.
This movie has more 70s TV SciFi than I would have suspected. This totally looks like late 70s TV Scifi…yep.
We’re not going to ware Chalmers.
Mad Max on an alien planet.
ahhh…of course. Powered Glider Hook Nabbing Vultures.
Grandman….We have blood loss here.
Chalmers was a bot! Initiating self destruct. Face melting underway. Gynoid…Fembot
Worse case scenario…climbing on an alien dirt structure that collapses and you end up face to face with a decomposed body.
…You better not skiz my home…you skrotting Earth-Bag….So Bone out.
Scavs or Zoners…
Overdog is put off by scars….I bet he is covered in scars.
Uh oh…The Chemist is going to give them some mood enhancer.
What does Molly Ringwald smell like? She must stank
What kind of space adventurer keeps soap on his belt?
This whole forcing Molly Ringwald to bathe is weird.
haha…Ernie Hudson. Wolff and Washington have a past.
I can handle the brain-works for both of us.
Like fly shit on a window
Those Big Baby Bat Things are the scariest thing I have ever seen.
death by water snu snu
We are the Molotov Kids. The Molotov Kids. The Molotov Kids.
Burning man.
Overdog is a cyborg dog.
The Maze is not good. It’s like the worst Merican Ninja Warrior.
“Chemist…prepare the fusion tube.”