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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Under Siege (1992) – Filmsack Show Notes

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Virtuosity (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Please insert Show Intro 3.1…Loading…

Oh hi,

and welcome to Filmsack Labs where we straddle the line of what is possible and what is unquestionably going to end in a symphony of screams.

This week we have been working on bringing Virtual Reality based AI into the real world by inserting their programming carts into a pile of silicone nanobots. Essentially creating life! We here at the labs foresee great humanitarian possibilities as a result of this new technology.

Oh hands are going up, alright we have questions. Yes sir, what is your query. “Can we make real world animals like realistic snakes and such with our technology.” Good news! We already have! Would you like to hold her? You would! Excellent. Here ya go I! I expect you will be screaming by the end of this intro.

Ok, next question. Can our technology give Russel Crowe a better singing voice? No…..his voice is already perfect.

Last question! Can we create the perfect woman? Well, why would you want do that…Wait, do you mean like in Weird Science? So you don’t mean “The perfect woman” you mean “the perfect woman.” Oh hell yeah. Reach in that cabinet and hand me that crowd pleaser. No not that one. The one labeled Sheila 6.9.

Hey, anybody hungry? Grab that Sushi Chef 1.2 while you are back there. We are about to get this party started!

Oh no!  sensory overload….intro crashed…would you like to reopen? cancel. rebooting Randy.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114857/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuosity

TWITTER

Virtuosity (1995) – Just because I’m carrying around the joy of sacking your crappy film inside me, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

SHOW NOTES

  • What is this now? I’ve never heard of this…ohh…from the Director of Lawnmower Man! Is this the same universe?
  • Dig this groovy music man. I actually really like this….it is chill…maybe one of my favorite opening credits…
  • Characters come in singles and pairs. 01 11 00 10
  • All business suits
  • “Maybe it’s the uniforms”
  • This world is Matrix’esq
  • sadistic, dangerous…3 words that describe him
  • What do we look for? His eyes? They look like mine? Did they model him after him?
  • You got a rice on your face…no problem Gene Simmons of Kiss, or Miley Cyrus
  • Busting through paper walls is not as impressive as drywalls.
  • Poke my wound hole and I will derezz.
  • Too much Neural information.
  • Use the convicts to test the VR Trainer
  • Sid 6.7  Sadistic, Intelligent, Dangerous
  • haha. Denzel looks like Sideshow Bob
  • 9 months off for good behavior. 17 years off 9 months.
  • Give me my Chalk. I can use right now.
  • Metallic Limb detected!
  • He was in isolation. Not anymore. General population. Somebody is mad.
  • New travels fast. So was he a real cop at some point
  • oh…white power eh.
  • That guy brought a shiv to a metal arm fight. He gonna lose.
  • Denzel is a biter! A lover not a biter!
  • How are those prisoners throwing out all that trash through those slots.
  • Come get your boy!
  • Letac
  • Sushi Chef 1.2. A cart for each version
  • I can’t change what I am. I’m a 50 terabyte, self-evolving, neural network, double backflip off the high platform. I’m not a swan dive.
  • Just a little notebook flirting.
  • “Intriguing…can I write that down?”
  • His wife and and kids are dead.
  • Another chess Queen reference. Sacrifice the queen.
  • She is interactive Clyde.
  • Ahhh…Sheila 3.2 Brilliant…Grab her module and follow me.
  • Gettin busy
  • Just because I’m carrying around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.
  • Daryll likes to watch…nah.
  • Kicking Sheila 3.2 crystal under the table.
  • This guy is thinking Weird Science…and Sid is thinking…I want to kill you.
  • Duh…Its a new world Daryl
  • Prison run. hoof hoof hoof
  • Nanotech Synthetic.
  • Mr. Barnes gets a full pardon if he catches Sid.
  • So your virtual reality program comes to life and your go to move is to chip the felon and make a deal.
  • That is a big brain needle.
  • He kept his badge in Mothballs?
  • Sid is always getting shit on his face and then licking it off. In VR world he could just lick it off..
  • Oh it just got personal! Matthew Grimes killed my wife and daughter.
  • Do synthetics not know how to go shopping for clothes off the rack? Do they always have to steal it from folks. yes
  • Welcome to our dance club of “Come Hither” and Cameras
  • Time for a Rave Symphony! What kind of instrument are you? I am a whimpering.
  • Symphony of Scream! Time let very GnR
  • Remember the Scream Scene. Louder.
  • haha…the elevator bird.
  • Shot him right in the back.
  • He has to maintain glass mass.
  • The Symphony of Collision!!! mu ahaha
  • Our hero needs a phycologist. like 12 monkeys
  • “Reach in that backseat and hand me that crowd pleaser.”
  • Russel Crowe would have made a pretty good Joker
  • Sid 6.9 is better.
  • Matthew Grimes is a part.
  • “That’s how I know…because I know.”
  • My purple 150 dollar suit. Now interview me in my underwear.
  • All these TVs need to be showing the news.
  • Cameras are starting to pop up everywhere…we are almost here.
  • Hey! It’s the Rumble Guy! Let’s get ready!
  • Kapow…punch everything. Kapow! bum bum…Kapow…bum bum..Kapow
  • That guy failed at crowd surfing.
  • Sid 6.7 sure likes his human shields.
  • what? he killed her?
  • “Parker. This one’s for you”
  • No arm. No problem. Pew Pew Pew
  • When did Sid 6.7 have time to make a embroidered name tag?
  • Death TV
  • Ed did not enjoy being on Death TV
  • Oh great…that was a bad plan…land him in a bunch of glass.
  • That conversion process was way too slow.
  • Sid can tell the difference between gravity or not.
  • How did they fool him?
  • Billy is not interested in letting him out.
  • WTF Billy.
  • So the whole reason for the metal arm was so he could stop that big metal fan.
  • If you stand up. It is going to be very bad.
  • Bombshop 6.7

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Twelve Monkeys (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok Mr. Cole I’m going to ask you to relax while I attach these alligator clips to your “face fat” and then we’re just going to shove your “3-times-naked Bruce Willis Ass…ok…Will-Ass….” yep going to show you right into our Woody Woodpecker, cartoon inspired, “time tube.” Woo hoo.

Like a big ole naked wiener…covered in a condom… to insure your travels are safe. What’s that? You say you are good at remembering things…best not to remember this Mr. Cole. But don’t worry, it’s safe….like an MRI machine but it’s not an MRI machine in a basement and all of this is not just in your head in some sort of divergent reality on planet Ogo.

Alright, one more alligator clip. I think this one goes to your right nipple…nope nope… already got one there….this is your classic left nipple alligator clip situation…nom nom nom…and there..ok enough Monkey Business. Alright, hold onto your butts I’m firing up the time tube. Clear!

is he gone? ok, let’s go shopping! Randy, Colonics For Everyone!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114746/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Monkeys

TWITTER

Twelve Monkeys (1995) – asking the tough questions. What did you do with you time? Did you waste it on drugs? Women? This movie? Are you also divergent, friend?

SHOW NOTES

  • how many monkees?
  • “…5 Billion People Will Die From A Deadly Virus in 1997…
    …The Survivors Will Abandon The Surface of the Planet…
    …Once Again the Animals Will Rule The World…”
  • Excerpts from interview with clinically diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, April 12, 1990 – Baltimore County Hospital.
  • Break out the accordion.
  • Witness, the death of the man…into the eyes of old man Bruce Willis.
  • Volunteers come back to the 7th Floor…or they get pardoned.
  • Volunteer Duty!
  • Let me put on my body condom.
  • oh no. Christopher Plummer!
  • We need a volunteer to head to the surface….don’t let the suit become compromised or you are not coming back.
  • Hissing roach collection…and now there is a bear.
  • That bear don’t seem hungry.
  • So the end came during Christmas….
  • …also collected…spider.
  • Doves are good and it sounds like other birds as well. Owls.
  • and lions…oh my.
  • “We did it” – Red Monkey!
  • I could do with 100% less Bruce Will-Ass
  • 87645 (astrophysicists)
  • 25 to life…you are going to hurt us…are you mister cole.
  • Why don’t you sit down in the metal chair that is wired.
  • TV Ball…can you see us?
  • Yet among the myriad microwaves / the infrared messages / the gigabytes of ones and zeros / we find words, byte-sized now / tinier even than science / lurking in some vague electricity. / But if we but listen / we hear the solitary voice of that poet telling us / Yesterday this day’s madness did prepare / tomorrow’s silent; triumph or despair / Drink, for you know not whence you came, nor why. / Drink, for you know not why you go, nor where.
  • Meanwhile, 1990
  • See through lady’s raincoats
  • He put 2 police officers in the hospital.
  • Cole does not like to be asked about his ID. He gets agitated
  • He was volunteered because he was a good observer. Got a tough mind.
  • Need to go. Drooling.
  • He thought it was Oct. It is April. He thought it was 1996. It is 1990. Oops
  • South of France? I can’t go to South of France. I just need to make a telephone call.
  • More scrubbing…everyone is always scrubbing Bruce Will-Ass
  • They are always playing loud TV in the Asylum.
  • Jones is doing the turtle…
  • 5 thousand dollars….
  • Don’t play the games…you are volunteering.
  • plague of madness. Can’t let them call. Doctors discretion
  • Anti-capitalist Pitt.
  • He kept asking for shows that have already played….but the nurse change time.
  • L.J. Washington. He doesn’t really come from outer space. Ogo. I am mentality divergent….when I stop going there…I will be well.
  • “I don’t really come from outer space.” ….’Oh. L.J. Washington. He doesn’t really come from outer space.’….. “Don’t mock me my friend”
  • “It’s a condition of mental divergence.” “I find myself on the planet Ogo.” “Part of an intellectual elite…preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto.” “But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche.” “I am mentally divergent…in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities…that plague my life here.” “When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?”
  • A board of intellects. Always a board of 6. With 2 enforcers.
  • Dr. Cassandra (complex) Railly (french to mock/jest)
  • Reoccurring nightmare of the death of who we assume are his parents when he was a child. His father is shot in an airport.
  • oh!! I found a spider! He is my spider now!
  • Crazy is Majority Rules.
  • Why did he eat the spider?
  • I’ve managed to contact certain underlings, evil spirits, secretaries of secretaries, and other assorted minions who will contact my father. And when my father finds out I’m in this kind of place, he’ll have them transfer me to one of those classy joints! 
  • Colonics For Everyone!
  • My father is god. I worship my father. – Jeffery
  • Monkey Business (Marx brothers)
  • No more monkey business…let’s take it down.
  • The real problem is polluting the timeline. We already destroyed everything else.
  • haha…The My Pillow Guy wants him to go to the Keys. Foreshadowing of his final demise.
  • You are the most bootiful woman I have ever seen….
  • It is always a party of 5 against him. Party of 5.
  • 4 year she has worked with the others.
  • The guy who shot him in the airport is the guy from the asylum.
  • Not a prob Bob.
  • Haha…alligator clips are one way to make a connection to your face.
  • Oculus symbol! Into the tube
  • 6 Scientists.
  • You failed again…this is not the 3rd quarter of 1996 dummies.
  • Chicken little is sane and “Let’s go shopping is crazy.”
  • Jose! They sent Jose back as well….More Bruce Will_ass.
  • ok…so was there just a short hop into the 1st world war?
  • So the scientist have failed a lot sending people back in time.
  • Now the radio is telling him to go to the Florida Keys.
  • He went underground when he was 8.
  • Little 9 year old Ricky Nueman boy cried wolf.
  • The time tunnel is a cartoon idea…Woody Woodpecker.
  • I love this air. I love this music.
  • The Army of the Twelve Monkeys
  • She had a chance to run….
  • No sir old bob…is he here…is he there…does he exist in time.
  • It’s in the tooth…I fooled ’em…I got no teeth!
  • He beats him up like a monkey. We all just a bunch of monkeys..
  • haha…All I see are dead people! He said the thing!
  • Do you recognize Pig Face. Pig Face!! FAA…
  • Jeffery Goines is a Judas! You Judas!
  • She is a doctor…of the head! not the leg.
  • He loves seeing the sun.
  • Maybe he is Jeffery Newman.
  • They lowered a monkey down the hole. The monkey had a roast beef sandwich.
  • You dropped your gun!
  • Maybe she is the crazy one
  • Goines thinks she knows everything he is going to do
  • cracked up whore and crazy dentist
  • she left the message
  • She doesn’t know the future…but she thinks she does.
  • Vertigo is always changing to the viewer.
  • …and now he is confusing “The Birds” It was a Hitchcock double feature!
  • Well it’s too late now. He released them all!
  • She mentioned she had seen him before. Was it in the picture she was researching for her book?
  • It is always the same movie. It always happens the same. But each time we see it different?
  • Reincarnated. She can still save us all. She can tell him when he is a boy and fix it.
  • Jones is my name….she is in insurance. She insures the future always ends.
  • This film has a lot of nods to the french
  • Numbers, 5 (goodness) number of deaths/amount Jeffery asks for, 6 (incomplete) 6 in the past/6 in the future, 7(complete) floor of the travelers (heaven?), 12(double incomplete!)
  • Goines is introduces as just playing around. Games.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Air Force One (1997) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok Colonel Bob, I’m in the pilots seat and I have told all of the terrorist to “Get off my Plane.” What’s next…. Turn off the autopilot?… But It’s been two weeks since I have landed an intro Bob…It’s like riding a bike? Look Colonel Bob…I don’t know what kind of bike you ride back in DC but I see at least 6 dials and 2 flip switches just for adjusting the height of my handlebars here. So how about we cut the crap and get me and my Filmsack family on the ground safely.

Hold on a second Bob, my co-pilot is gurgling something incomprehensible. What’s that William H. Macy?  Try rolling your R’s Ahhh…you say the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1. Well that has nothing to do with what we are doing here…but, Never tell me the odds!

Anywho, You know what Bob. Maybe this was whole thing is bad idea. Say, why don’t you just send in a crack team of Filmsack hosts to zipline us into an intro that is not a flying dumpster fire of parallels drawn between Harrison Ford’s iconic role as Han Solo and this. Save your strength. There’ll be another time.

Randy…tell me about that time, like a Saturday night at Ibbott’s House.

Now it’s public. Now it’s Policy. Get behind it.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118571/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Force_One_(film)

TWITTER

Air Force One (1997) – Teaching us: If you give Harrison Ford a cookie…he is going to want a glass of milk and a tour of Air Force One. Where’s the pod. No Pod? Get off my plane.

SHOW NOTES

  • Special Forces Mission…We killed a few people.
  • Ohhh we teamed up with the Russians.
  • Get off of my plane…get into the backseat
  • Get tough on Terror
  • Geez…Melanie…Loose Lips…Sink Ships…
  • Totally not sus foreign reporters.
  • Don’t tell me the …14 – 13 Michigan….Bastard!
  • what’s in the briefcase with the handcuffs?
  • This president is hardcore on US policing the world.
  • He’s one of them! He’s one of them!
  • He has access to the weapons staff.
  • This movie did not waste a lot of time on getting to the hijacking!
  • Ramenstein Tower..Du Haste…
  • Geez…good thing Melanie did not tell the terrorists about the President pod….but they knew.
  • They shit that pod right out of air force one.
  • “What are our airborne scenarios.” There ain’t none!
  • Who do they trust? Who do we trust.
  • New Nuke Codes are generated.
  • He will not negotiate…he just made a whole speech about it…
  • Bad Politics.
  • The President is the unknown man on the inside! Who knew!
  • The Terrorist Pilot has turned off the No Smoking sign…smoke ’em if you got ’em.
  • I am a terrorist…let’s negotiate.
  • The President will get his Baseball glove back.
  • Whack A Mole President.
  • Fleet Footed President….butthole clinching run from one spot to the next.
  • Kill a hostage every 30 minutes
  • 50 people on a plane.
  • This terrorist at this point has to be thinking the plane is haunted. Suddenly Loud TV. Watches going off and beeping.
  • You can’t just leave that terrorist there..knocked out…he will come back to life.
  • Maybe he flushed himself!
  • Sat Phone! With Instructions.
  • Uh oh…Busted! Totally going to get charged.
  • Russian Ultra Nationalist Radicals.
  • We can not release Reddick.
  • “If you give a mouse a cookie…he is going to want a glass of milk.” – Entire negotiation philosophy.
  • Good thing the president knows a little Russian
  • Hey…this shot up milk gives me an idea!
  • The President Tasks me.
  • Fax and Voice ain’t the same.
  • 15k feet 200 knots…otherwise it is suicide.
  • Damn you CNN
  • This is the lollipop….don’t suck it….but if your chute don’t open…go ahead and suck it
  • Not without my family
  • weeee….suck it terrorist…fax this!!
  • uh oh…mistakes were made
  • 32 survivors out of 50
  • very intense struggle between the president and the terrorist
  • she does not negotiate with the secretary of defense
  • There is a knob…we are turning Bob. Intro, Idea…let bob tell me how to land this movie plane.
  • Raddick!
  • These Communist Hate Air Force One!
  • haha…Good Guys are here…
  • Halo 2 sacrificed his life.
  • This movie gives me the patriotism
  • This movie always has somebody with an idea…which they will not share with the audience until it is time.
  • Can’t land Air Force One…no problem…how about a zip line to Air Force Dues. Get off my Plane.
  • You are on the plane with the Traitor.
  • Get off the f’ing plane.
  • You can no have the thing strap! Get off my zip line!
  • Liberty is now Air Force One!
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

A Christmas Prince (2017) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

You have reached the palace of Mandovia, how may I help you?

Ahhh, I do believe you have mistaken us for Aldovia. Yes, if you are looking to fulfill your fairy tale dream of marrying a prince by Christmas you will need to contact them there. Hold on…I think I have their number.

What’s that? Any Single and ready to Mingle royalty in Mandovia. No, I am afraid not. We have 2 kings and they are happily married to one another.

Well what kind of question is that..how would I know if they are gay.

Look lady, I just answer the phones around here because I lost to every other man at the ‘arm wrestle for a job’ job fair last summer. Alas, I have no upper body strength. Well i have enough to lift the receiver of this phone and hopefully enough to wipe away my tears every night. But nothing more.

Anywho, I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you. They banned woman from the manland long ago after the men folk ran Queen Mary out of town for her ‘All Hallmark Channel All The Time’ decree.

And now for something really masculine, Randy

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7608418/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Christmas_Prince

TWITTER

A Christmas Prince (2017) – Like a love poem riddled with gibberish that will eventually leave you feeling like “there is for sure going to be a part 2.” Yep. That is it in a nutshell… hanging on a Christmas Tree made by King Dick

INTRO

  • Am I going to cry?
  • Inter-rickdum. 1 year.
  • “his royal hotness.”
  • Dec 18th. Presser
  • Gay Co-Worker and/or POC Friend role in Fashion or News Career
  • Usual Christmas is Corndogs…this time. 5 alarm Chili. Dad owns a cafe. Diner
  • Mom is dead?
  • Stay true to your dreams…and success will follow.
  • Aldovia…nobody can say it.
  • The coronation will happen on Christmas Eve at the ball. Duh.
  • King Richard wouldn’t have done this.
  • From 1st time reporter to illegal entry
  • “Ahhh…American” – Classic comedy…mistaken identity and lies.
  • The other lady wasn’t due for another 2 weeks.
  • …something about a mouse in her bed.
  • This plucky music.
  • You look like a derelict Santa clause
  • Tutor from Minnesota. Oh I thought you said Tudors from the 16th Century. We are kind of primed for royal shit around here…watch out for my 15 century Ming porcelain Vase…ok…gone
  • We live in a castle/palace
  • 2 to 3 weeks jail for the deception
  • ohh…a tutor…I thought you said Tudor
  • “There is nothing loose about this goose.”
  • Math is hard!
  • Spina Bifida…and there is no cure.
  • Poor little rich girl….Brave little girl is what I was thinking.
  • Jellied meat?
  • cookies > jellied meats
  • Richard then the deuce
  • He lost his dad. She lost her mom. They are soul mates!
  • Holidays are the worst.
  • Where was king Richard hiding that giant acorn ornament. His other was a bear/elephant.
  • Busted. Now 2 know her secret.
  • For someone who hates Christmas he sure does like to play Christmas Music.
  • Time for the Royal Fair! It is unfair.
  • 3 days till Christmas…time for an Adventure.
  • Time to drag the Spina Bifida kid and rocket her down a hill.
  • Uh oh….time for a sexy snowball fight.
  • fancy hair horse
  • Her scary stalker diary is scary.
  • All this guy does is Prince stuff
  • Horse trouble…turned into wolf trouble…”Someday my prince will come.”
  • He used a gun to scare it off…pretty sure he was supposed to fight it with fistacuffs.
  • He (King) wrote a poem to go with the acorn. Winter’s Harvest…Acorn’s gift. A Poem riddle! He hid the acorn up his ass.
  • That horse is a cock blocker. The horse says neigh
  • Look here Nancy Drew….you better stop nosing around the King’s cabin.
  • Scandal! The prince is adopted! How can a prince be adopted…people be watching that shit…lineage is very important to the Royals.
  • nothing be Sofi-er and me. Sofi-ar…
  • According to this movie…gay men want a prince.
  • Kiss her in the garden! Now the truth has a cost.
  • Could these Bad Royals be more maniacal.
  • He said some bad things on Father’s death day. I don’t want your crown.
  • They have the 3 person “Works” team are here…so you can fit in.
  • Princess up top. Red Converses on the bottom.
  • Sure…they could have stepped in before the coronation….but no…that wasn’t dickish enough.
  • The Fraudulent Christmas Prince…Murmur…murmur
  • Oh it is a soap opera
  • This is the tale of the Paparazzi and the Prince.
  • Emily was an oopsie.
  • I forgive you for adopting me and not telling me and letting me make a fool of myself.
  • Keeping my bracelet though!
  • Failure Plants the Seed….just when you think all is lost…a Christmas miracle.
  • Once we have Quorum.
  • Throw them in the dungeon…no dungeon! Found the dungeon.
  • that is one large acorn.
  • Not my King.
  • Would someone please crown a king already!
  • If any would care to dispute…son of a bitch…stop!
  • She is lying…like before.
  • Wait…can a king just decree that shit.
  • No..you are crying.
  • The order is marked with the kings official seal…see that!
  • Sofia is out.
  • No more disputing!!
  • Bippity Boppity Boop. You da king…Finally.
  • King Richard the 2nd.
  • Good people surrounded by shit people. High Ground.
  • He’s a Prince…he smells good…she smells like a diner.
  • Uh oh…he moves fast….
  • How long do you plan to keep a King on his knees.
  • ahhhh…they gonna get married…I wonder if part 2 will run into marriage problems.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Cutthroat Island (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Well I got to go. Thank you for making the sweet sweaty 1600’s Caribbean love to me in your man wig, you heartless Lieutenant of the royal army. Ahhh..that’s right….I knew that you knew that I was the Lady Pirate More-gaaaahn and you were only fiddling with my lady bits to get to the bounty on my booty.

Oh don’t bother with your gun. See…I took your balls….well actually the monkey took your balls…anyway…the point is…I have your balls…so I guess the takeaway here is it’s a real Cuttscrote Island around here and you let a monkey touch your balls.

Now I must go ride horses as fast as horses will let you ride them…so fast in fact that they will have to film us in slow motion making it seem like we are going even faster…. yet… somehow slower. Confusing I know…but you have the next 2 hours to try and make sense of it all.

I can’t believe you let the monkey watch. Randy.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112760/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutthroat_Island

TWITTER

Cutthroat Island (1995) – I knew that you knew you would not like this movie. 2 hours later. Monkey likes to watch.

SHOW NOTES

  • Yarr….CuttScrote Island! There…I said it
  • It is Lionsgate…oh ….and then another Lion MGM…how about a 3rd? Nope. Carolco.
  • Swashbuckling music intro….let us go on an adventure
  • Renny Harlin! Genna Davis! Matthew Modine! Frank….oh yeah…I don’t know him.
  • 1668 Jamaica Man.
  • There is an indication that there was hot monkey love.
  • She is a pirate!
  • I knew that you knew…I took your balls…well the monkey took your balls…anyway…the point is…I have your balls…good monkey ball taker.
  • Father sent for you 2 days ago…
  • She ride horse fast…the angry the human the faster the horse….Go horse go.
  • It is slow mo Genna Davis everything.
  • Our Brother Richard’s Bloody Map from his bloody dead hands.
  • The Reaper! Boat.
  • Harry hid the map in his head. Harry peg leg.
  • Taking an anchor dive to die….
  • Dawg is a bad, Uncle Mordacei
  • The Morning Star is yours. mmm veggie burgers
  • On his head…not in his head.
  • So that is a horrible plan….did he wear a hat while his hair grew back over the map?
  • Plopper, Squitter….Mandy Rickets…say hi.
  • Feeling up the Rickets
  • Man there are a lot of ugly people at the dance…how to have that casting call?
  • The men aren’t going to listen to you.
  • Daddy is dead…let’s get drunk
  • Holy hell….she scalped him! Did they cut that scene. Also, She can’t read Latin…or maps.
  • Port Royal.
  • 3 pieces of map. Dawg Brown. Harry Black. Mordechai, Red? Richard White?
  • The sword challenge…
  • Ah Latin. The Romance Language. – Stop your chatter and say something Latin’ish
  • 40 Pounds…sold to the lady with the monkey…
  • Knife to the ass.
  • The Monkey’s name is King Charles.
  • What a healthy slave trade in Port Royale.
  • Genna Davis; action star
  • At least his is proper slow-mo and not that trash slow mo.
  • Oh wow….”I must visit that shop again, when I have the time.” Genna Davis … “I find myself being fired upon by an entire ship”, “You certainly left your mark on this town.” – Modine
  • 200 pounds to find her
  • Who is this John Reed…writer.
  • So it was not Latin…but mirror writing…but he is a map reader as well?
  • Pirate writer.
  • Dinner for Crows.
  • Wow…how is Francis from Malcolm in the Middle so young in 95!
  • She found a Genna Davis look alike…I wonder if she was the stunt double.
  • “The old Turtle has its needs.”
  • She is going to take care of them all…later…
  • Harry’s Blessed Head!
  • If you were an Adams! Uncle Moracaieaiai
  • His map is well hid…is it on his ass?
  • That guy is a Chain-iac
  • Nasty Eel is Nasty…also, easy movie prop…just have an actor giggle it around.
  • The slave trade didn’t give her the key.
  • Accidental running through…you killed my brother!
  • This music is pretty tight but derivative.
  • Uncle Douglas Dawg remembers a lot about her childhood.
  • Mordechai Map was on a plaque? Board?
  • Was Mordechai’s place made of explosives?
  • That Hand Cannon was pretty sweet. Is that an actual thing?
  • Was that Barrel to the head intentional? I have a feeling there was a lot of happy accidents.
  • The numbers! On the Hand. 11, 75 and 42…it is the longitude….duh…what did you think would be on a map. As they relate to the hand?
  • His map was in the Eel Barrel
  • Congratulations Madame…that was another town you destroyed.
  • I have been shot!
  • It is festering….the ball in her wound….hot poker should do it.
  • Spanish Gold Ship. The Largest
  • Have you even taken out a musket ball from the body if you don’t drop it into a metal bowl and here it plink once you get it out.
  • Monkey likes to watch.
  • Monkey Smell No Evil
  • Uncle Dawg will have his day.
  • Using this Piratical Stuff for writing.
  • “In the boat under the seaty thing.”
  • that is always the answer in pirate movies…I will strand you.
  • Fly little bird! Take the map to the bad people!
  • I’m the captain of this longboat now. Row hard!
  • Uh…you missed Shaw.
  • We found Cutthroat Island! We don’t have a boat…but we found it.
  • So is there not 4 pieces to the map? at least one of those maps would be shit and useless.
  • Why is Dawg’s map all bloody? If it is his map and it the part that shows to actual treasure.
  • Underestimate the con man.
  • Bitch Stole My Map!
  • Do spiders bleed human blood?
  • Now he can smell her? He seen her flinching when she was a kid…
  • Quicksand. The trouble with liars
  • She just wants everyone to bend the knee…is that so much to ask?
  • Is that scalp getting flatter, smoother and less hairy?
  • The problem with paces is that they are paces.
  • Paces are apparently non-directional.
  • “Down the throat to the belly of gold.” Harry I found it.
  • Just a pile of treasure….perhaps the most unassuming pile of treasure I have seen.
  • I got 4 million pounds…let’s make a trade…gimmie Morgan
  • haha…They have a lot to say to each other don’t they now.
  • Love. Who can explain it.
  • Trotter is a goober.
  • Privateer of the crown…much better than pirate
  • Governor of Jamiaca is his aim.
  • Mor-Gone – Glasspole
  • King Charles in a box. Salut
  • Smile Mr. Trotter…Goood…Goood
  • Blair’s eye!
  • Mr. Shaw. ..hanging
  • I think Mr. Blair has a crush on Shaw…saved him
  • They are so many. We are so few.
  • Can she not hear him?
  • No…Not Blair! The wheel of doom!
  • That is a lot of back and forth at the wheel of doom.
  • Sure we could fight on the deck…but it is way more pirate to do it on the Main Sail
  • Join Uncle…you don’t have to die.
  • This fight is exhausting.
  • Ha! Bad Dawg…that was the payoff to the whole setup?
  • We are alive together.
  • I got me treasure…let’s do some farming.
  • You win the pirate lottery and you don’t quit your pirate job because you love pirating.
  • Madagascar is up next.