Oh hi. This content is Patreon supported fast-tracked.
It will be freely available to all after a 24-48 hours period.
Tag: Review
Unlock with Patreon
Oh hi. This content is Patreon supported fast-tracked.
It will be freely available to all after a 24-48 hours period.
Intro
Oh hi,
Switchblade open. Switchblade closed. Switchblade open…switchblade…shhh…shh..be quiet evil. Do you just want the pretty lady with the hair beads and white leisure suit to know I am hiding behind this shower curtain just inches away. The answer is… Not Yet! So, Switchblade open. Switchblade closed. Switchblade open…switchblade …oh it’s time! I just need a little redirection…a little cold water drip shower drip should do it. Oh…here comes the hand…the hand is here! oh wow…would you just look at that manicure…that’s nice…I really don’t take near good enough care of my nails. ah crap. Hand is gone. Focus Evil Focus
Switchblade open. Switchblade closed. Switchblade open…switchblade…oh I think she left the bathroom…let’s try this again. Cold water activated.. oh too much too much…stupid hotel shower handles and their mysteries. oh… She’s coming back! and now here comes the hand! focus… Happy New Years lady! Reek Reek Reek and Booby stab!
Great. Now I have blood all over me. But no worries…I’m already in the shower so just turn on a little water and too much! too much! Oh how I hate you hotel shower and how you have castrated me and that is not nice.
Links
New Year’s Evil (1980) – Like a punk rocker with a switchblade comb standing toe to toe with a police officer…Tickets…Let’s Have your Tickets….Oh that is Evil.
Show Notes
- Call me evil
- For Christ Sake…do you know what time it is? Take my ludes!? bup that.
- That is one mighty risky outfit Ron is wearing.
- this music…bud duh dum.
- Richard is in Palm Springs loaded and coked up.
- Somebody fix that leak!! Reek Reek Reek
- It happens. The drippy faucet mangler strikes again. He know you can’t resist the dripping water.
- Since he attacked after the main door creeping open I can assume nothing.
- What is this song…it is so late 70s
- Do you reckon that is his grandma’s Lincoln? What would Matthew say.
- So these are punks? too early for Goths?
- That cop does not like the look of this punk scene. Tickets…Let’s Have your Tickets…
- Switchblade comb….hilarious with your friends…good way to get ass stomped with the police
- Spaceship America…Totally hot show…got to be on it moms. My part…series…mom…mom
- NuWave Rock!!
- Blaze is the first lady of Rock…The first VJ?
- We call our’s New Year’s Evil…
- Hollywood Hotline. This is Claire…my vote is “We don’t need no education”
- You sound like the phantom. You bad honey? No! just Evil…Set the stage
- Seattle Band Shadow
- Crawford Sanatorium
- Always some angry kid dumping food working in the kitchen
- Sanatoriums be just like this. Spot on.
- Jeff Winters is going to charm himself right in the front door.
- Jeff Winters always comes prepared…Wine…Music and Game.
- Did we step into a porn?
- He counts every second shuffle dance
- Derrick Little Lord Fauntleroy can’t get no attention from his mommy…let’s turn to drugs
- meanwhile back at the Jeff Winters room. bow chicha bow wow.
- I guess every movie gets at least good idea….this one is killing during the new years hooting and hollering.
- This group of fans are doing something between moshing and parquor.
- This is Evil…remember me…Exterminate!
- somewhere in the Sanatorium…have fun
- Does everybody in the movie carry a switch of some sort. Either a blade or a comb.
- Son…that is not how you wear mommy’s stockings ahh hoes no.
- You ever see a real mustache that looked fake.
- This cop needs to learn the term “personal space.”
- The plan. Kill locals for every timezone passing through New Years
- Erica Estrada Parta!
- Oh goody…2 for 1 deal
- Do you know what you need TM to Zen…Nervous Diarrhea
- Riding the dumb blond in his Mercedes.
- When A girls doesn’t have a date for new years…she is in shit city.
- The biggest bottle of Champagne they got…as long as it is under $100 bucks.
- Hey…smell my weed I keep in this baggie…closer…closer…that’s it..bam…suffocation!
- He’s not real good at hiding bodies.
- Well I must admit…I didn’t see that Oscar The Grouch scene coming. A real Swinger
- blood…more blood…we better get some help…that’s too much blood for 2 guys
- oh no…he stabbed her boob!
- This guy has a weird manifesto
- Distracted driving! Nun of your business.
- This plan went sideways when you plowed down a biker gang.
- Blood Feast! down at the drive-in
- We don’t pay for tickets!
- Hey…they ain’t watching movies! They are doing dirty things ! Blowing pot and touching private areas
- I am a man of God…not a man of violence…Stab Stab!
- Where are the Fing keys? “In the ignition man!”
- Listen Mister….I only got 3 dollars.
- and my body!
- haha…how this blonde runs. Brillant
- A sequential part
- Mutilated Breasts…that’s a mother’s fixation.
- Hey Officer can you give me a hand over here…I think I found a drunk…nope…it was just a brick
- Orderly, Swinger, Priest now Cop…He’s living out a pornstar dream.
- Like Father Like Son
- Did her screaming knock the police offer out?
- Instant Replay. Miracle of modern technology!
- “Ladies are not very nice people.’ – Very Very Selfish.
- You castrated me and that is not nice.
- me and the kid are going to the RoseBowl and you can sleep in.
- He knows a lot about bypassing elevator crap
- he considered it!
- Jump.
- Twisted Ending. I CRAZY FOR DADDY!
Oh hi. This content is Patreon supported fast-tracked.
It will be freely available to all after a 24-48 hours period.
INTRO
Oh hi,
Jack be nibble, jack be quick, jack jump over the…hold on…hold on…wait a second….are we just going to overlook the fact that the sheriff’s little maniac of a son Ryan who cooked up a sandwich baggie full of Anti-Freeze oats to feed his dad a week before Christmas is not at least as big of an issue as the killer snowman in our midst?! Deep Fried Jack Balls! That kid has the makings of the next mythical horror killer franchise.
So when Ryan “The Oat Bag” Tiler is not playing the role of Cop Killer by Antifreeze he is out front of his house pulling some Frosty the Slay-man shit by bringing a murderer to life with a magical strangling scarf and carrots to rape with. ..Happy Birthday… (like in that Frosty cartoon with the magic hat) Bam…Billy just lost his head by a sled and is totally dead. Let’s go make Oats!
Listen sheriff you got a problem and it’s not the 12 quarts of coffee and bottle of antifreeze you drank today…Touch my finger…touch my knee…thank the lord my kids aren’t trying to kill me!. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-ha-ha-ha-ha not the one with Michael Keaton.
LINKS
Jack Frosty (1997) – What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? Poorly sculpted snow boobs? Go get Doc Peters.
SHOW NOTES
- Where is Michael Keaton
- I had that tree topper angel.
- Uncle Henry…tell me a story…no it’s late go to bed…santa will be here soon..no…I want a story…do you want a happy story or a scary story…I want a happy scary story…. JACK FROST nipping at your nose. Because that is what he did. You wanted a story… you got a story.
- Pretty sure the movie can not hold up to this intro.
- Tinsel Garland to wipe off the window
- What an oddly conspicuous vehicle “State Executional Transfer Vehicle”
- He’s being executed in 30 minutes…they are cutting it pretty close.
- Deep Fried Jack Balls
- Gimmie a smoke ya screw…shut up convict..sniiiiiff…filtered
- “Snowmonton County” ok Snowman Capital of the Midwest
- FBI across half a dozen states. Backwater Sherrif nailed it.
- Harv? Everything ok back there Harv…nooo
- What a driving snow storm
- Good thing these trucks are clearly labeled for what they do. Genetics Research. Caution- Acidic Solution
- What…The…FRANK
- What a festively decorated death truck
- Deep Fried Jacks is off the menu.
- Jack Frost…Stay of Execution…denied.
- It sucked right into the snow….genetics
- Sheriff has a nice casio digi watch
- Jack Frost took that arrest personal.
- Touch my finger…touch my knee…thank the lord it wasn’t me.
- It wanted to run..but it didn’t have any legs!
- Federal Authorities
- Sam Tyler
- Boom mic!
- Yum Ryan…your goo looks great. Just fill up my zip-loc-bag…also…is that AntiFreeze next to the stove Ryan?
- Snow man building competition!
- Shannon Elizabeth! Slumming it.
- Jay hid his snowman….stop peeking at my snowman.
- Uh oh…foreshadowing…Sally is going to end up with a Christmas tree up her ass.
- Billy and Jilly and Sally and Daddy.
- What is this snow made of?
- Get it Mr. T…snowballs!
- “I’ll find a waaaaay!”
- Guilt talk…but daddy I made those oats special for you…now leave them in the car.
- Mr. Harper is dead but still rocking. haha..it was the deputy…
- Don’t steal old man Harper’s apples
- So was it accidental or did the FBI do it? Genetic research?
- Snowman chase cam.
- pluck pluck pluck.
- Dangit Ryan and his special oats and special cookies
- Lies! Sam is telling the people it’s all good…but he is gonna go home and bolt his door.
- Hey Paul…there is an unfinished snow man in the front yard that spontaneously formed…wanna go decorate it with this bag of kitchen supplies and a snowman snow mit.
- Nooooo…stop stroking the mouth!
- Are you deaf as well as butt ugly.
- Ryan Tiler and his snow golem.
- Too bad for billy…he is out…holy moly!
- Nice use of Christmas music.
- That snowman has the twig eyes
- Jack Frost the man was sending newspaper/magazine letter cutout threats and the sheriff was saving them?
- Paul like to give that 20% off
- “The lord Forsook this home a long time ago.”
- Finish my scarf!
- A smoking snowman?
- If your kid died and some said a snowman did it and you start hearing talking snowmen….it’s bad
- I guess that is one way to use and axe to kill someone.
- What does momma put in her tea?
- That is one fast moving snowman.
- Haha…he made her the angel on the tree. Not as good as I was hoping for.
- Jack got big
- Go get Doc Peters.
- Agent Manners and Stone
- Maybe…is he even FBI? or is this some Genetic Research Conspiracy
- Tractor Pulls and House Raisins
- A 24 hour curfew.
- Sleep community style
- Paul needed a punch the face
- The bird noises in this movie are hilarious. Crows..Pigeons.
- The only thing the sheriff has done so far is drink coffee
- Deputy home repair tip giver
- How to plot revenge…not having sex in the sheriff’s house in the dark
- That’s a lot of stripping
- Want to have the sex? Build me a fire and pour me some wine.
- Jack Frost is hiding in your freezer
- Well it ain’t f’ing frosty
- Frost Chop!!
- “Worlds most pissed off snow cone.”
- gross…brain pulse
- Thank you Tommy!
- So in addition to turning to snow and back to liquid Jack Frosty can make himself hot?
- Are we implying that Jack is humping Jill?
- Boom mic!
- Who is the bullseye guy outside waving?
- Chris’ Cop car returns home on it’s own like a faithful steed
- Jack Frost is pissing himself under the door.
- Stone slapping those aerosol cans like a punk
- The keys left in the door cam pull is a total Sam Raimi thing.
- Marla got all the great one-liners…Woman and Cowards first
- Burnt up snowman.
- Look mom…I’m a Picaso
- Trust these people….we might be your only hope.
- The Sheriff can’t shoot for shit
- The soul is a chemical. Don’t you get it!
- That priest sure likes to crank up the heat to remind his flock.
- Jack Frost Vision
- He’s wearing and Edgar Suit…this came out the same year as MIB
- Holy shit…it was antifreeze in the kitchen
- The son is the real killer.
- Poor Paul doesn’t know that his son is dead.
- What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? No Balls.
- The church is full of people doing…and even one with goats…just like in the Omen
- owww…that hurts…ice dagger
- oh man..open chest wound and splish splashing in a redneck truck jacuzzi
- hey dad..you forgot this arm..aaaaaaaaaaa
- Baptism by antifreeze.
- “What do we tell the FBI?”
- Silent Night by Jack Frost…scary.
- I’ts page 60 and there’s not a single morph credits
- Shit in the credits : “Ohhhh nooo, I feel like a caboose.” “Mongo like movie” “Don’t eat yellow snow” “Roundy Round” “Maybe it will snow tomorrow” “Say, who was behind Door #3” “Where’s the carrot in the bath scene?” “The things about snowmen is that they really don’t have arms.” “How many times did you spot Idiot?” “Does anybody have a 20 on Yolanda?” “Is the soup ready yet?” “You want a B-12?” “Can I have fries with that?” – Title House – “Special Thanks to Idiot, Acts of Nature: Flash Flood, No Snow, High Winds.”
- Did we ever get to see the secret snowman?
- Campbell’s Soup “Let it snow.” 1994 commercial had a bigger buget
Intro
Oh hi,
We’re not gonna make it? You are! Seagal Out!
Well Steven, here we are explosively decompressed at 35,000 feet without a parachute again. Now, based on my training the average human should have about 30 seconds of useful consciousness at this height. But, I’m way cooler than the average human…sooo…45 seconds….buuuuut I just wasted 15 seconds of that on a word-math problem or is it math-word problem? Whatever, we have been in worse situations…you are! now focus up Sha-gaul…….Shuh-gal…See-gal…….no it’s Suhgal right? I mean how have I been saying it?…Shuuuguuuh…Ahhh…snap out of it, Whoever you are!
Ya know what…I don’t need useful brains…I’ll just fly the brain…so hee-ya! take that fluffy cloud and that…and this roundhouse kick to your fluffy face. Oh wait…look clouds! Did that experimental bomber pilot just eject from our mission plane! oh ho ho… Hello plot hole here I come. All I have to do is skyfall towards him and take my position on his his lap for a free ride back down to earth.
“Hello fellow American! May I hitch a ride back to mother Russia!” I mean….ah shit..covers blown…quick fly to safety Sea-gull! Cah Cah Cah Cah
Links
Executive Decision (1996) – Like 2 hours of intense zip lining, wire cutting, lights flashing action to get the attention of some while hiding from the attention of others. It’s sweaty work but Leguizamos got to do it.
Show Notes
- Man this movie is pixelated
- All Star Cast!
- Very Military Thriller Music.
- DZ-5 Russian Nerve Toxin
- Jim and John wrote this…twins? Predator. Wild Wild West
- Collins took one…he’s dead…for nothing! no DZ-5
- 3 months later
- Gee I wonder if Kurt is going to have to fly a larger plane later on. You are not prepared!
- Flying anxiety. Relax and Fly the Plane. Stick and Rudder
- What a weird side flash on the Jaffa Terrorist Wedding Napping.
- 15 years of unrestrained Terrorism.
- 6 months later.
- Movie planes ridiculously large on the inside
- Overhead luggage. Stupid Woman!
- Sweaty Terrorist are prone to blowing up and sweating
- Oceanic Airlines
- Gun Reassemble
- QA Has Bathroom Face Wash
- These Terrorist look like Terrorist
- I like calling the embassy and playing pre-recorded threats.
- Hide my gun in my sock.
- Circle that US Marshal…circle him!
- Where is the Passenger Manifest…You destroyed it?
- Sucking on Twizzlers and scrubbing audio.
- Remember Guys…this is a think tank….we get paid to think
- We do not negotiate with Terrorist…unless we do.
- Do we like London that much…enough to negotiate. Is the President in London?
- So we got this crazy plan. Let’s spend 20 minutes of the movie with some nut ass stunt to dock on a commercial jet with a stealth fighter and let’s let Seagal lead it and Kurt wear a tux and tag along.
- So Allison died from the Million Dollar Baby death
- This whole plan relies on a clip
- How many wind shears happen while doing some crazy ass maneuver
- Why is Cappy so damn heavy?
- OMG Seagal died in most spectacular fashion.
- I kind of like that Seagal held out for a better more heroic death
- Castle Rock. Big Eye Six. Hail Mary.
- Top 2 are dead in the team replaced with 2 non-supposed to be theres.
- Shh…double finger sssssh
- We only have part of our equipment
- Whispering in the belly of the plan…time for a heated power struggle
- Photo from 25 years ago…but I would recognize his voice…and know if I saw him.
- Co-Pilot saw Americans…Soldiers…ignore this cut and bump on my head.
- Yep. Still dead.
- I traveled all this way to lay on the cold floor with a broke neck. That’s why I get paid the big bucks.
- uh oh Velma…ya dropped your glasses
- What is the in flight movie? Looks like Kurt Russel and a Monkey.
- The Barefoot Executive (1971) Ha.
- They have enough nerve gas to wipe out half of the eastern seaboard….time to just blow up the plane.
- Scooting up and down the tube of a plane like some kind of Leguizamo Rat
- How nice of them to include the captain with the bomb research
- Why not just eject the bomb…lose pressure…
- All the tech guys in this movie have oral fixations.
- Whatever you do…don’t look into his eyes…his dreamy dreamy eyes…OMG I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES!
- I need me a laser wire cutter
- This operation has too many rookie factors
- Red Handled Dikes?
- Cappy
- Coughing Cappy Death
- Yaffa is Freeee…Free Yaffa for all!
- 1:22:22 .. It’s an executive decision now.
- 2-1 K…21 K!
- The bomb wiring is a decoy…what else is a decoy
- The under bomb has laser beams (Photo something beams)
- The president is out of the country
- This is more wire cutting than I had signed on for
- Least fun game of Operation every
- Also, way too many flashing lights in this movie.
- Haha…wardrobe change.
- Kurt Russel slowly morphs
- The look of surprise on the sleepers face…priceless
- Who Bye Box of Diamonds
- When is this morphine supposed to kick in.
- They are totally NOT in control
- Whats wrong..FLAPS!
- I love that Russel is announcing everything he is doing while trying to figure it out.
- Shit…landing gear down.
- Just fly the plane.
- Just land the plane
- Hey..my landing field!
- hey…thanks…a chewed up coffee stirrer.