Oh hi. This content is Patreon supported fast-tracked.
It will be freely available to all after a 24-48 hours period.
Tag: Review
Unlock with Patreon
INTRO
Oh hi Chachi, Sorry I didn’t see you there.
Now I would like to read my poem about something that’s pretty important to me and that I get really confused about a lot. It’s called “Chachis.”
Chachis, sometimes I feel like I’m so much above ’em and sometimes I feel like I’m so much below ’em. Sometimes I hate ’em and sometimes I love ’em (hold on a sec. I’m having a puberty fueled fantasy about boobies. Oh yeah..) now where was I…right…Sometimes I hate ’em and sometimes I love ’em but if I was a caveman, I think I’d just club ’em.
Oh c’mon! Don’t boo the Cooter. You know the Gary Cooter is all about the love! Now hand me my trapper keeper. I got a raging puberty Cooter Boner that I need to hide. Oh hi Scatman.
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084945/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zapped!
Zapped! (1982) – First comes the woman and then the whiskey and then the unfiltered tweeting. My old lady won’t let me have salami.
SHOW NOTES
- Oh hi, I didn’t see you there Chachi
- God Bless Merica!
- Zapped! Lightening!
- Schools out
- That rat is scuba and anatomically impossible.
- Come on Edgar! All the rockstars love this stuff!
- School wants to know the effects of alcohol on divers.
- He has the Ultra Grow Formula
- Coke Bottle glasses.
- “You know what you need? A girl!”
- Oh…boys will be boys.
- Yay! It’s the Ralph Waldo Emerson High Penguin Cheerleaders for the baseball team…
- That band…they are pure comedy gold…especially the trumpet guy.
- Gary Cooter! It’s Gary Cooter and the band
- The Baseball team is winless.
- Rabbit Doo-Doo.
- Oh Peyton…your camera is a metaphor for your penis
- Scatman!
- haha…Scatman gonna drop some super gro into the Cannabis
- The Devil’s Double Wammy. Women and the Booze.
- No salami, no weenies.
- Then a little beer.
- Radioactive Spider….no! Beer, Cannabis and Super Grow….you been zapped.
- Time for the comedic music.
- ‘Barney Bonehead’ retort ‘Up Yours’
- Roll up his sleeves…check between his toes.
- This was something my parents did.
- Alvie did it and his dummy.
- Specializing in Botany.
- She sure is pushy…ladies shouldn’t be pushy! We all knew that in 1982 because it was still 1950s US
- Gary Cooter has no room to make fun of Mrs. Burnfart. and your 4th year as a senior.
- It’s called Chicks and this is my Gary Cooter song.
- The ladies boo the Cooter.
- Barney Boner don’t call on me
- All you need is a good opening line
- Ouch…Barney go with your mice.
- Tee Winkle College (Rob Robert)
- Nerdy Botanist and his rich unpopular friend
- haha…the closed captions says [zapping]
- Is thought sweeping easier than real sweeping…it looks harder to me.
- Triumphal Music
- oh snap…he broke her 5 glasses and now she is an 10
- There was an explosion that knocked me out and I came to and didn’t think anything of it.
- And now the circle of trust is created. The fellowship is created.
- Relaxo Prune Juice and Rum.
- Spam with Cream sauce.
- Zapping…
- I has Telekinesis and I can phase stuff
- Haha…they have glitter Nike Swooshes on their space uniforms.
- Poor Alvie…eh don’t deserve this.
- His mom is a monster and his dad is a chump
- Edgar has it too…the Zappinging. You little shit.
- Well we have established that Edgar has long term effects of the Zapping and will probably get sick or die first?
- Alan take your fingers out ya noise…now suck it!
- Nathan ‘Too Mean” Levine…tha brute keeps rubbing his crotch.
- Look at me…my bat is a penis!
- I have never understood mooning.
- The best way to hassle ladies is to expose their boobies.
- The principle can’t access the lab!
- Burning Pot to dispose of the evidence is never a good idea.
- Trope Sex Comedy “Overheard conversations are always mistaken for sex talk”
- My old lady won’t let me have Salami and chili dogs.
- Help Me Mr. Einstein
- You ugly Spasm
- High School Popular girl is always dating the College Dude
- Freddie is Robert’s older brother who went to Africa on Safari and married a Pygmy Girl
- Drink a 12 pack a piece and try not to puke on the spinning teacup ride.
- …Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me..
- Fighting with your Zap powers.
- Barney is always trying to eat something.
- Robert is taking me to Hawaii for graduation.
- Peyton is playing Jane like a fiddle.
- Jane has got to see all the lady pics on the wall and know this guy is a creep.
- Weiner food is referenced a lot in this movie. Wonder Weiner.
- Bernadette had 3 crushes a year
- Mom and her cross
- We need a music montage…here…here…and here
- This is a more intimate moment that I wanted to see
- Excuse me as I slip under the table
- He grew a conscience
- Flying Roulette Wheel of science!
- First come the woman and then the whiskey – Scatman logic
- Tranquilize your kid!
- “I think I’m going to throw up.” retort “That is one of Satan’s favorite lines.”
- This is Heaven Prom Theme.
- Revenge Porn in 1982
- Watermelon to the head
- Let’s get naked…..This is hilarious…let’s get naked! This got all Rape-y real quick.
- A chemical reaction to get zapped powers and then a physical hit to remove them…nope…he was just kidding.
- The rise of a new superhero? Nope…use your powers for exploding clothes.
- How the hell was Gary Cooter and band not the band at the prom.
Oh hi. This content is Patreon supported fast-tracked.
It will be freely available to all after a 24-48 hours period.
Oh hi. This content is Patreon supported fast-tracked.
It will be freely available to all after a 24-48 hours period.
INTRO
Oh hi,
You have reached the office of Death, We can not come to the phone right now as we are busy making asinine lists and planning elaborate ways to murder you.
But by all mean, Please listen to the following as our menu options have changed.
If you would like to report a gross injustice of death: press 9. (pause)
If you are calling to negotiate the terms of your surrender: press 8 and your call will be taken in the order it was received: average wait time – 300 years. (pause)
If you are calling about the Elevator to Hell: press 6. boop another 6. boop. and just once more. boop. You have chosen “Elevator to Hell” if you meant to select “Stairway to Heaven” please hang up and call back when you are a better person.
Still there?
Ok, If you are calling to report any of the following on the Elevator to Hell: “a faulty door that could decapitate a person” or “a guy with a box of hooks for arms” or “an inappropriate offer to lick your face” please stay on the line for an important message: (pause) It’s the Elevator to Hell. that’s it. that’s the message. It’s… the… Elevator to Hell…please hang up.
Also, don’t do drugs on the Highway to Hell.
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0309593/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Destination_2
Final Destination 2 (2003) – If you create life that was never meant to be alive…then you cheat death and then Death rage quits to re-roll his list. Dude, Death, Chillax
SHOW NOTES
- Previously on Final Destination (1 year since the plane go boom)
- 40 students. 4 Teachers Mount Abraham
- All the kids died from 1
- I appreciate you using the word Sinister…not supernatural.
- I believe there is sort of force an unseen malevolent presence “The Devil” I prefer “Death itself”
- You Dead you Dead.
- Death gonna give it to ya. Uh…Death gonna give it to you.
- What if you could do something about consequences
- You can avoid it by being hyper vigilant
- Teens on a road trip…the front yard goodbye with the parent.
- These teens always have the best cars and the most loving parent with everything to live for.
- Hey Girl…your brake fluid is leaking
- Ha ha ha…the poor can lady…let’s laugh.
- Can Lady, Pileup, 1 Year Anniversary, Highway to Hell,
- Geez…took dad like 30 minutes to call about the transmission fluid
- Biker Girl Titties.
- Teenagers are horny and high.
- I never have this much interaction with people on the interstate.
- Things are falling into place.
- Hice Pale Ale….Drink responsible.
- This kid is making those trucks kiss. Spoiler
- “You ever hear of the Ozone layer asshole?
- All of these people are living on the razors edge.
- This is the drug, alcohol, interstate…
- This was a minute before distracted driving with electronic devices.
- That cop ate it!
- Murder Death Porn
- ha…this is like PSA for shit not to do while driving.
- Got to admit this is a pretty wicked opening. Too bad it’s all a dream
- Burning truck of death.
- Wow…that was a lot of vision.
- Bus full of Pile Up…Chick in the bucket.
- Kimberly is like…fook that.
- How much weed do you have on you?
- Be Cool! Daniel
- Don’t blame it on the truck…that is the truck that is going to kill all of them.
- This timeline don’t track with the 180 feet?
- Ok…he saved her…so it skips her now. See I remember stuff!
- oh…Flight 180…
- Haha…love the horror tropes. Pretty smart how they laid this one out.
- Scary story…but true…
- 1 survivor! In the nut house!
- This is a well crafted horror trope
- The Different Strokes Curse
- Mom must be dead.
- Danger Evan is lucky to not be dead already…what is his relationship to the police chief?
- Spaghetti Pan out the window. Hey E
- Dude…cooking shirtless with oil….are you insane-o
- EYE! Metal Magnet in Microwave
- Evan won the lottery
- haha…death don’t need to kill Evan..Evan kill Evan.
- Evan is the smartest mofo…Death can’t kill you if you already dead.
- That cop is surfing the dark web
- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2709194/
- Secrets of the Unkown.
- neocities
- Dude this is so the dark web…you don’t see this much death porn on the regular web
- Route 23 – 18 People Dead
- Brilliant…They needed to have a reason for disconnected individuals to connect. So they had Evan win the lottery so it would be iron enough that he died for it to be on the news but so low key that the reporters would not know he avoid death.
- Why you have scary Marionettes
- At the request of the patient…you got to come in naked if you want to visit.
- Voluntary crazy
- B 109
- Ha! She has a murder trail wall.
- Die in this order…death list
- Someone intervened so you will be last on the list.
- Wait! Death is mixing it up! Death learned his lesson…he’s going backwards!
- “Watch out for the signs”
- Alex got a brick to the head?
- Clear be like…”I don’t care”
- death by pigeons
- “Oh Tim….If he gives me the gas and I wake up with pants unbuttoned…we ain’t paying.”
- Death – The invisible spectre of doom.
- 6th and 2pm 62!
- Giving Tim the gas.
- Man…if my Dentist was this cursy…I would have to reconsider
- Oxygen 0 Nitros….nom nom nom…Goodbye Tim
- haha…Tim is such a dick…Death is killing from the Dickiest to the less Dickiest.
- If this guy in the hobbit hole owns a fiddle then we know how he beat the devil.
- Ha! It’s the mortician.
- Dead, yet still fresh.
- Only new life can cheat death.
- Life/Death it’s all in a circle.
- If you create life that was never meant to be alive…then you cheat death and he rage quits?
- New Life defeats death.
- “Suck on my junk”
- Kimberly is having visions….like a while bunch.
- When does life begin? The age old question.
- Let me lick your face in an elevator bro.
- Doubter dude
- Why does she need a secret code word when she calls them?
- I’m just gonna put this is the closet/deathtrap
- Nora and Eugene are dead
- If you are trying to avoid death…for sure don’t take and elevator.
- Death is really into irony…he wants you to see signs of the pending death.
- This elevator is possessed with creepy.
- Nora was all like. I’m ready to die…and then when it comes…she was like…nope!
- Eugene is a control freak.
- Eugene…you got to Chillax
- haha…Death won’t let Eugene go out on his own terms.
- Death is trixie. Your water broke.
- All these people barely escaped death last year.
- You caught the Flight 180
- A rift in death’s design.
- Final Destination 2: Death Tidies up the Loose Ends
- Poor Jethro…he will be in part 3. Aww damnit They saved that kid.
- Would you throw out my box of shame? So my poor mom
- More like the jaws of death.
- Will it hurt when I die? Rory…nope.
- Why do they let the vision quest lady drive.
- Kalarjian…Naijralak
- Death is all like…You are trapped in here with me.
- It’s ok…it’s over…it’s totally not over! Cause she never died…son of a boot
- Death gonna give it to ya. Nooo…not Clear.
- The Lake, White Van, Doctor K, I have to drown
- Get Kalarjian
- That is a lot of trees in that ambulance.
- A leap of faith.
- BRIAN NOOO!
INTRO
oh hi,
Alright Oldfellas, the Don has ordered us to take out Sleepy Joe Marcellino before he can testify against the family. But the FBI has him stashed away in a remote location. However, I have a plan.
First we take a Train….then we take a walk…..then we take a boat….then we take a car….then we take a helicopter….hold on Tony, I’m doing the plan over here…now where was I…..oh yeah…then a station wagon…then The Oakside Boys Club bus….no wait…that’s next week….back the bus up….
Alright. we get off at the station wagon, shoot some feds…play some Trivial P, seal our fates by whacking the son of an FBI Agent and Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo Sleepy Joe Marcellino takes his last nap. Any questions?
What’s the P stand for? (Pause for effect) Pursuit…geez guys…we are Oldfellas…we keep it clean. I mean we still kill guys and stuff…but they probably deserve it right…hey Tony what are you making over there that smells so darn good? No…I do not know what a Cow’s only contribution is…is this one of them Trivial Pursuit questions?
Ah crap! Everybody down…Tony’s got a Shit Cake and all we have are these guns!
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091828/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raw_Deal_(1986_film)
Raw Deal (1986) – spelled backwards is Lead War. That is all. #shitcake
SHOW NOTES
- Hey wait a minute…this ain’t Red Heat!
- Studio “Ear” Canal has a weird intro
- De Laurentis film
- Amtrak coming at ya!
- Funky Music….crew walk montage…Train…Walk…Boat…Car…Helicopter…Station Wagon….are we there yet?
- That is the longest silencer I have ever seen.
- Who is this Motley crew of middle-aged to fairly-old white guys.
- Green Lite.
- Oh…is that Trivial Pursuit..
- How many times was John Wayne Nominated for an Academy Award?
- Sleepy Joe don’t want to be awake to testify.
- Italian? So you want to be a witness? Witness this…
- Harry…his birthday was in 2 week.
- They’re Dead…
- Meanwhile, some backwater industrial town and some country music.
- Why is this cop running from Arnold.
- This railroad planks chase scene is the kind of thing you don’t just think up.
- Hey…I know a shortcut through these woods
- Arnie Cigar – Flash Bang
- “You caught the bastard” – some cop
- Book ’em…and lying to the sheriff.
- This is a shift in musical tone.
- Amy is jamming and drinking mid day
- …and making a cake…
- Amy…are we having a party?
- 5 years in exile…
- They left NY cause of something that happened! What happened!
- What’s for dinner? A frosted pile of shit.
- You think just because we are in shape doesn’t mean we are not fat.
- A cow’s biggest contribution…Shit Cake!
- “You should not drink and bake.”
- Aww…it’s ok…you just sleep off the drunk honey…I’ll put you in bed and get drunk!
- Hello Mark….Hello Harry…Mark….Harry…
- “Hold it…that’s Baxter!”
- Half the bones in the body broken.
- Chicago Mob. Bad!
- All them mob bosses taking the 5th
- My son Blaire…he dead
- I want Petrovita!
- FBI ain’t doing squat.
- for $45K I want you to break up the Chicago Mob.
- Comingski! Investigating his own break in
- What kind of petrol place is this….they just got huge pipes that anyone can turn on.
- Poor Irvin…he ain’t never done nothing to you.
- Holy crap….he just blew up a bunch of private property to set up his fake death.
- $25k for initial expenses.
- Wife beater and hair tonic….I’m a new man!
- Magic or magnet! This table ain’t straight!
- Money grabber guy….I ain’t afraid of no Terminator
- This chump brought a gun to a truck fight
- The Oakside Boys club. bus…lots of guns…poor shots…poor Tony…he was a good kid…You son of a bitch.
- Down…there is no down….I’m not a cop…I’m a player…MONEY!
- Cigars are fun to watch on film…not so fun to smell in real life
- Taking Max Kellars job
- Miami…I’m in the computer.
- That was one hell of a tip…
- These alley’s have rats.
- What’s the P stand for ….pregnant pause….
- The FBI and their crazy questions….”when is the last time you took a piss?”
- A big pile of money…100 Million Dollars on the streets…take a few weeks according to number 2.
- In movies…people chew up their pills before swallowing them.
- You are temporary probie.
- Max don’t like you none.
- She likes a take charge kind of guy.
- Man…he has a type…alcoholic.
- but he can’t handle his booze
- Well…he got in her bed..but he didn’t sleep with her….
- Man…all this sleuthing is hard when you don’t have a cell phone with a camera and the internet.
- What is up with that hair! That was big even for the 80s. Time to Tik Tok on stage
- Hey ya Cretin!
- Down at the Drag Show
- haha…this chip shot on the golf course from the sand trap.
- Monique!
- The Family…it’s large and full of rats
- Max…maybe you are having too much fun…maybe you need a snack.
- How many people have you killed? 3…
- “Smart I like…Smart Ass…I don’t”
- Haha…those guys just happen to be walking by the dress shop in the mall and notice him.
- 50 cops in that place. Bomb threat!
- It’s not a horrible idea apparently.
- Fancy…Soda Bomb.
- Man…Half Life Pro Life Whale Loving
- Hello Marvin…
- Justice…right Harry…Justice…F* JUSTICE
- and this was a terrible to attack mob boss rival…
- …and now he killed 3…and 4…
- Cops again cops
- All the cops are corrupt! including the
- Ha…He said “I’ll be right back.” Close
- Friend-zoned
- He may have went overkill on Maxx
- haha…Harry…was like…”It’s ok…you shot me…it’s ok…”
- How did she know to come save him?
- Did I mention the pit! Don’t go…Now towel dry yourself…ahhh…that’s it…pat it dry.
- Now it’s time for the “Personal War” part of the movie.
- Cocked and loaded montage.
- Alright….Arnold…in this scene we are going to have some saxophones and need you to look roided out and cock all these guns…sexy!
- ahhh man…Windshields are hard to kick out.
- Time to put in my No Satisfaction cassette in and kill it down at the pit.
- He should be smoking a cigar.
- haha…did that guy fall in the rock crusher?
- cocking face!
- 01:27:30 capture
- Do they big green industrial sized trucks turn into transformers!?
- haha…1:28:30 ye-ag—ag
- That guy bought a big green truck to a gun fight.
- A tale of bringing the wrong things to fights is what this movie is all about.
- These dead people make me happy
- Mob War my Ass
- Don’t think.. pray.
- Schrodinger’s Elevator
- This would have been a lot shorter movie if they had just paid Arnold to kill the mob from the get-go…but nooo…he had to get all motivated.
- What kind of candies are those.
- This is what it must mean by “Poetic Justice.”
- A quarter million dollars for an alcoholic gambler… why not just shoot her.
- Back at the FBI and his wife.
- Get up Harry!
- My reunion with Amy was great…baby on the way.
- Harry…be a godfather….give me my chair!
- ouch…did you ever quit in front of blaire!
- It’s a miracle! All he needed was a pep talk