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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Raw Deal (1986) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Alright Oldfellas, the Don has ordered us to take out Sleepy Joe Marcellino before he can testify against the family. But the FBI has him stashed away in a remote location. However, I have a plan.

First we take a Train….then we take a walk…..then we take a boat….then we take a car….then we take a helicopter….hold on Tony, I’m doing the plan over here…now where was I…..oh yeah…then a station wagon…then The Oakside Boys Club bus….no wait…that’s next week….back the bus up….

Alright. we get off at the station wagon, shoot some feds…play some Trivial P, seal our fates by whacking the son of an FBI Agent and Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo Sleepy Joe Marcellino takes his last nap. Any questions?

What’s the P stand for? (Pause for effect) Pursuit…geez guys…we are Oldfellas…we keep it clean. I mean we still kill guys and stuff…but they probably deserve it right…hey Tony what are you making over there that smells so darn good? No…I do not know what a Cow’s only contribution is…is this one of them Trivial Pursuit questions?

Ah crap! Everybody down…Tony’s got a Shit Cake and all we have are these guns!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091828/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raw_Deal_(1986_film)

TWITTER

Raw Deal (1986) – spelled backwards is Lead War. That is all. #shitcake

SHOW NOTES

  • Hey wait a minute…this ain’t Red Heat!
  • Studio “Ear” Canal has a weird intro
  • De Laurentis film
  • Amtrak coming at ya!
  • Funky Music….crew walk montage…Train…Walk…Boat…Car…Helicopter…Station Wagon….are we there yet?
  • That is the longest silencer I have ever seen.
  • Who is this Motley crew of middle-aged to fairly-old white guys.
  • Green Lite.
  • Oh…is that Trivial Pursuit..
  • How many times was John Wayne Nominated for an Academy Award?
  • Sleepy Joe don’t want to be awake to testify.
  • Italian? So you want to be a witness? Witness this…
  • Harry…his birthday was in 2 week.
  • They’re Dead…
  • Meanwhile, some backwater industrial town and some country music.
  • Why is this cop running from Arnold.
  • This railroad planks chase scene is the kind of thing you don’t just think up.
  • Hey…I know a shortcut through these woods
  • Arnie Cigar – Flash Bang
  • “You caught the bastard” – some cop
  • Book ’em…and lying to the sheriff.
  • This is a shift in musical tone.
  • Amy is jamming and drinking mid day
  • …and making a cake…
  • Amy…are we having a party?
  • 5 years in exile…
  • They left NY cause of something that happened! What happened!
  • What’s for dinner? A frosted pile of shit.
  • You think just because we are in shape doesn’t mean we are not fat.
  • A cow’s biggest contribution…Shit Cake!
  • “You should not drink and bake.”
  • Aww…it’s ok…you just sleep off the drunk honey…I’ll put you in bed and get drunk!
  • Hello Mark….Hello Harry…Mark….Harry…
  • “Hold it…that’s Baxter!”
  • Half the bones in the body broken.
  • Chicago Mob. Bad!
  • All them mob bosses taking the 5th
  • My son Blaire…he dead
  • I want Petrovita!
  • FBI ain’t doing squat.
  • for $45K I want you to break up the Chicago Mob.
  • Comingski! Investigating his own break in
  • What kind of petrol place is this….they just got huge pipes that anyone can turn on.
  • Poor Irvin…he ain’t never done nothing to you.
  • Holy crap….he just blew up a bunch of private property to set up his fake death.
  • $25k for initial expenses.
  • Wife beater and hair tonic….I’m a new man!
  • Magic or magnet! This table ain’t straight!
  • Money grabber guy….I ain’t afraid of no Terminator
  • This chump brought a gun to a truck fight
  • The Oakside Boys club. bus…lots of guns…poor shots…poor Tony…he was a good kid…You son of a bitch.
  • Down…there is no down….I’m not a cop…I’m a player…MONEY!
  • Cigars are fun to watch on film…not so fun to smell in real life
  • Taking Max Kellars job
  • Miami…I’m in the computer.
  • That was one hell of a tip…
  • These alley’s have rats.
  • What’s the P stand for ….pregnant pause….
  • The FBI and their crazy questions….”when is the last time you took a piss?”
  • A big pile of money…100 Million Dollars on the streets…take a few weeks according to number 2.
  • In movies…people chew up their pills before swallowing them.
  • You are temporary probie.
  • Max don’t like you none.
  • She likes a take charge kind of guy.
  • Man…he has a type…alcoholic.
  • but he can’t handle his booze
  • Well…he got in her bed..but he didn’t sleep with her….
  • Man…all this sleuthing is hard when you don’t have a cell phone with a camera and the internet.
  • What is up with that hair! That was big even for the 80s. Time to Tik Tok on stage
  • Hey ya Cretin!
  • Down at the Drag Show
  • haha…this chip shot on the golf course from the sand trap.
  • Monique!
  • The Family…it’s large and full of rats
  • Max…maybe you are having too much fun…maybe you need a snack.
  • How many people have you killed? 3…
  • “Smart I like…Smart Ass…I don’t”
  • Haha…those guys just happen to be walking by the dress shop in the mall and notice him.
  • 50 cops in that place. Bomb threat!
  • It’s not a horrible idea apparently.
  • Fancy…Soda Bomb.
  • Man…Half Life Pro Life Whale Loving
  • Hello Marvin…
  • Justice…right Harry…Justice…F* JUSTICE
  • and this was a terrible to attack mob boss rival…
  • …and now he killed 3…and 4…
  • Cops again cops
  • All the cops are corrupt! including the
  • Ha…He said “I’ll be right back.” Close
  • Friend-zoned
  • He may have went overkill on Maxx
  • haha…Harry…was like…”It’s ok…you shot me…it’s ok…”
  • How did she know to come save him?
  • Did I mention the pit! Don’t go…Now towel dry yourself…ahhh…that’s it…pat it dry.
  • Now it’s time for the “Personal War” part of the movie.
  • Cocked and loaded montage.
  • Alright….Arnold…in this scene we are going to have some saxophones and need you to look roided out and cock all these guns…sexy!
  • ahhh man…Windshields are hard to kick out.
  • Time to put in my No Satisfaction cassette in and kill it down at the pit.
  • He should be smoking a cigar.
  • haha…did that guy fall in the rock crusher?
  • cocking face!
  • 01:27:30 capture
  • Do they big green industrial sized trucks turn into transformers!?
  • haha…1:28:30 ye-ag—ag
  • That guy bought a big green truck to a gun fight.
  • A tale of bringing the wrong things to fights is what this movie is all about.
  • These dead people make me happy
  • Mob War my Ass
  • Don’t think.. pray.
  • Schrodinger’s Elevator
  • This would have been a lot shorter movie if they had just paid Arnold to kill the mob from the get-go…but nooo…he had to get all motivated.
  • What kind of candies are those.
  • This is what it must mean by “Poetic Justice.”
  • A quarter million dollars for an alcoholic gambler… why not just shoot her.
  • Back at the FBI and his wife.
  • Get up Harry!
  • My reunion with Amy was great…baby on the way.
  • Harry…be a godfather….give me my chair!
  • ouch…did you ever quit in front of blaire!
  • It’s a miracle! All he needed was a pep talk
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Nighthawks (1981) – Filmsack Show Notes

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Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Space Jam (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok guys. I know it’s been a rough week for all of us… but I got some good news! I found out what happened to all of our talents! and I was able to retrieve them and put them into this sack…. But before everybody starts touching my Sack let me make sure I have the right talents.

Let’s see….I have a blue collar hick accent…Randy…I think that one is yours. …and…I have a bottle labeled “Saturday Night 180 Proof”…I’m assuming that one goes to Ibbott’s house…alright…and I have an alternate title card with a booger on it…pretty sure that one is yours Scott and gross….and finally here is my box of intros that I won from the devil in a fiddling contest.

Alright, everybody grab my sack and hold on tight! Woohoo wrong sack guys! I believe I can flyyyyy….I believe you just touched my guy!

Hey “I didn’t know Dan Aykroyd was in this intro!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117705

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Jam

TWITTER

Space Jam (1996) – Like Party people in the house…feel the bass…work that body….hey DJ turn it up. Hoomp there it is? Do your dance…wave your hands in the air…c’mon c’mon..ready to stop…ladies…fellas? Nah Nah Nah #90s

SHOW NOTES

  • Wait…is this the one with people and the cartoons?
  • Shooting star! catch it
  • Reitman!
  • Oh man…right out of the gate with the feels!
  • Summer 1973….I believe I can flyyyy..
  • Holy crap…It’s after midnight Michael…we can’t sleep!
  • Dad gonna let him shoot another…until he misses…
  • Michael wants to go to College and play in North Carolina! Get an education…and then to the NBA!
  • Baseball! Now that is a sport! Thanks dad!
  • Dad planted the idea of flying! Fly Michael!
  • Finally…the team up we have been waiting for…Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan.
  • Party people in the house…feel the bass…work that body….hey DJ turn it up. Hoomp there it is? Do your dance…wave your hands in the air…c’mon c’mon..ready to stop…ladies…fellas? Nah Nah Nah
  • I am seeing a lot of NBA action…where is that college education jam?
  • 1996 does Jordan retire?
  • Jordan in the outfield
  • Meanwhile on mars….
  • Ahh…some of that sweet 3d cartoon animation of the late 90s
  • Sludge Summit! Don’t bring me here anymore right…
  • We need new attractions! “The customer is always right…always…”
  • We need something nutty…wacky…Looney! Yes…
  • What kind of creatures are these? Bugs? Moron Mountain…
  • Can’t teach “looking good in that uniform.”
  • Like tips from the catcher….
  • poor Michael…that was a good looking strikeout.
  • Newman! Stan Podalack.
  • Meanwhile, at the Piggly Wiggly.
  • These guys are like the green aliens in Toy Story.
  • So Loonies are deep in the crust of the earth?
  • This was during the time Speilberg was having a love affair with Looney Tunes…Tiny Toons?
  • So did Michael mention how they treated him during his baseball stint?
  • Thanks Sherm.
  • Back off Stan…what would he do around the house?
  • Charles the dog…
  • Michael is just an ordinary guy back home with his family…living in suburbia.
  • Mmm…Chicken and Collard Greens!
  • Taking tips from his kid.
  • Was there this much Bugs Bunny and Road Runner in 1996?
  • Breaking the 4th wall!
  • Emergency Cartoon Meeting!
  • Daffy Duck can’t even get himself wet around here.
  • Our theme park in outer space…like Six Flags?
  • Slavery subject matter with Bugs Bunny cartoons.
  • A lot of fan nods.
  • What is up with Sylvester
  • Aliens from Moron Mountain.
  • They picked the Aliens one weakness…shortness…I wish I was a little bit taller…I wish I was a baller.
  • The plan…challenge the invading aliens to a b-ball game since they are short.
  • Hey…it’s Patricia Heaton and Dan Castellaneta
  • Oh these Aliens can inhabit another body? No…they can steal your talent! That is way worse….
  • Not only their talent but also their co-ordination.
  • Hey…that news guy is that guy…
  • “Watch Patrick Ewing…” Odd…so it takes talent to walk?
  • It’s the germs in New York…with masks…oh geez….can’t escape this.
  • That was some wicked talent…now they are all monsters!
  • Hey little pig…boo…and Porky peed himself.
  • They are MonStars.
  • Bill Murray back on the golf course talking to things.
  • Bill Murray is white?!
  • This golf course scene was really longer than it needed to be
  • I love Bill Murray…but he isn’t saying much.
  • “Nothing but the bottom of the cup.”
  • nooo! he lost his Jordans!
  • What kind of camera is that!
  • Why is Looney Tune land deep in the earth.
  • Bugs Bunny is far too willing to lay a smooch on someone.
  • Everybody is playing their part.
  • Michael Jordan has a paperclip in his ear.
  • So they are comparing entertainers and performers to slaves. Interesting.
  • “We’ve got balls!”
  • Spit Shine!! grote Taz…lemony fresh
  • All the Monster numbers are Zeros
  • Every heroes flaw in the 80s and 90s…” Chicken”
  • “My poor little cranium.” – Tweety Bird
  • I got a Basketball Jones on…this is way creepy…Barkley playing with young girl basketball players over top of some sexy music.
  • 5 feet nothing…blocked my shot.
  • Barkley is choosing the natural route while everybody else is using science.
  • Lola Bunny!
  • Men are chumps
  • House in 3d Land.
  • On a quest for Michael’s Shoes and Basketball Gear
  • The toons never get any royalties
  • Why are Jordans all over the trophy room.
  • Michael’s wife named their dog Charles…burn
  • Fortune Tellers…they finally gave up by science…and she is correct
  • Stan is taking this very personally.
  • “What kind of Mickey Mouse operation would name their team the Ducks….” huh huh huh. Funny
  • Jordan in his gear.
  • Granny is a cheerleader.
  • Great…no more basketball this season because of a suspected virus.
  • What kind of a timeline are they on for this Basketball competition.
  • Pump up the jam…pump it up….move your body.
  • The boss of Moron Mountain is attending.
  • Riot! The polite meese.
  • Sexy cartoon ladies…how do we feel about that?
  • Daffy never gets the respect (“Let’s all laugh at the duck”)
  • The Aliens have nothing but ringers….the looney tunes have one ringer.
  • Hit ’em high…hit ’em low…
  • It’s hard to imagine being a seasoned actor and doing this much green screen work…I wonder if it hurt or helped Jordan not being an actor?
  • TuneSquad
  • Don’t ever call em “doll” don’t ever call me “dog” don’t ever call me…
  • Sam has guns.
  • Halftime…the time things look their worst in a sports movie.
  • Humans must stink. Newman!
  • Forget inspirational speeches….you need a placebo…
  • Michael’s secret stuff.
  • What did Bugs Bunny put in that water?
  • Pulp Fiction…these are the Jokes folks.
  • The 2nd half comeback.
  • I did not need a tongue out Elmer Fudd.
  • Jordan flew under the radar because he was playing baseball.
  • Why is Marvin The Martian not a bigger part of Space Jam!
  • So now they are breaking the rules to win…like all good sports movies.
  • haha…why did they put granny in a wheelchair
  • Put me in Coach! Stan!
  • A flat Newman. Scary.
  • Looney Tune Land makes anyone flexy.
  • “I didn’t know Dan Aykroyd was in this movie!
  • “Don’t ever trust an earthling.”
  • So all the aliens lost was that they had to give back what they took.
  • Space Jam is a 1996 American live-action/animated sports comedy film..what a small space.
  • Touch the ball…give me my talents. Ball of talent.
  • Nobody wants to touch Michael’s Ball.
  • 7 minutes of credits!
  • and a very short stinger…that’s all Folks

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Executive Decision (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

Intro

Oh hi,

We’re not gonna make it? You are! Seagal Out!

Well Steven, here we are explosively decompressed at 35,000 feet without a parachute again. Now, based on my training the average human should have about 30 seconds of useful consciousness at this height. But, I’m way cooler than the average human…sooo…45 seconds….buuuuut I just wasted 15 seconds of that on a word-math problem or is it math-word problem? Whatever, we have been in worse situations…you are! now focus up Sha-gaul…….Shuh-gal…See-gal…….no it’s Suhgal right? I mean how have I been saying it?…Shuuuguuuh…Ahhh…snap out of it, Whoever you are!

Ya know what…I don’t need useful brains…I’ll just fly the brain…so hee-ya! take that fluffy cloud and that…and this roundhouse kick to your fluffy face. Oh wait…look clouds! Did that experimental bomber pilot just eject from our mission plane! oh ho ho… Hello plot hole here I come. All I have to do is skyfall towards him and take my position on his his lap for a free ride back down to earth.

“Hello fellow American! May I hitch a ride back to mother Russia!” I mean….ah shit..covers blown…quick fly to safety Sea-gull! Cah Cah Cah Cah

Links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116253/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Decision

Twitter

Executive Decision (1996) – Like 2 hours of intense zip lining, wire cutting, lights flashing action to get the attention of some while hiding from the attention of others. It’s sweaty work but Leguizamos got to do it.

Show Notes

  • Man this movie is pixelated
  • All Star Cast!
  • Very Military Thriller Music.
  • DZ-5 Russian Nerve Toxin
  • Jim and John wrote this…twins? Predator. Wild Wild West
  • Collins took one…he’s dead…for nothing! no DZ-5
  • 3 months later
  • Gee I wonder if Kurt is going to have to fly a larger plane later on. You are not prepared!
  • Flying anxiety. Relax and Fly the Plane. Stick and Rudder
  • What a weird side flash on the Jaffa Terrorist Wedding Napping.
  • 15 years of unrestrained Terrorism.
  • 6 months later.
  • Movie planes ridiculously large on the inside
  • Overhead luggage. Stupid Woman!
  • Sweaty Terrorist are prone to blowing up and sweating
  • Oceanic Airlines
  • Gun Reassemble
  • QA Has Bathroom Face Wash
  • These Terrorist look like Terrorist
  • I like calling the embassy and playing pre-recorded threats.
  • Hide my gun in my sock.
  • Circle that US Marshal…circle him!
  • Where is the Passenger Manifest…You destroyed it?
  • Sucking on Twizzlers and scrubbing audio.
  • Remember Guys…this is a think tank….we get paid to think
  • We do not negotiate with Terrorist…unless we do.
  • Do we like London that much…enough to negotiate. Is the President in London?
  • So we got this crazy plan. Let’s spend 20 minutes of the movie with some nut ass stunt to dock on a commercial jet with a stealth fighter and let’s let Seagal lead it and Kurt wear a tux and tag along.
  • So Allison died from the Million Dollar Baby death
  • This whole plan relies on a clip
  • How many wind shears happen while doing some crazy ass maneuver
  • Why is Cappy so damn heavy?
  • OMG Seagal died in most spectacular fashion.
  • I kind of like that Seagal held out for a better more heroic death
  • Castle Rock. Big Eye Six. Hail Mary.
  • Top 2 are dead in the team replaced with 2 non-supposed to be theres.
  • Shh…double finger sssssh
  • We only have part of our equipment
  • Whispering in the belly of the plan…time for a heated power struggle
  • Photo from 25 years ago…but I would recognize his voice…and know if I saw him.
  • Co-Pilot saw Americans…Soldiers…ignore this cut and bump on my head.
  • Yep. Still dead.
  • I traveled all this way to lay on the cold floor with a broke neck. That’s why I get paid the big bucks.
  • uh oh Velma…ya dropped your glasses
  • What is the in flight movie? Looks like Kurt Russel and a Monkey.
  • The Barefoot Executive (1971) Ha.
  • They have enough nerve gas to wipe out half of the eastern seaboard….time to just blow up the plane.
  • Scooting up and down the tube of a plane like some kind of Leguizamo Rat
  • How nice of them to include the captain with the bomb research
  • Why not just eject the bomb…lose pressure…
  • All the tech guys in this movie have oral fixations.
  • Whatever you do…don’t look into his eyes…his dreamy dreamy eyes…OMG I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES!
  • I need me a laser wire cutter
  • This operation has too many rookie factors
  • Red Handled Dikes?
  • Cappy
  • Coughing Cappy Death
  • Yaffa is Freeee…Free Yaffa for all!
  • 1:22:22 .. It’s an executive decision now.
  • 2-1 K…21 K!
  • The bomb wiring is a decoy…what else is a decoy
  • The under bomb has laser beams (Photo something beams)
  • The president is out of the country
  • This is more wire cutting than I had signed on for
  • Least fun game of Operation every
  • Also, way too many flashing lights in this movie.
  • Haha…wardrobe change.
  • Kurt Russel slowly morphs
  • The look of surprise on the sleepers face…priceless
  • Who Bye Box of Diamonds
  • When is this morphine supposed to kick in.
  • They are totally NOT in control
  • Whats wrong..FLAPS!
  • I love that Russel is announcing everything he is doing while trying to figure it out.
  • Shit…landing gear down.
  • Just fly the plane.
  • Just land the plane
  • Hey..my landing field!
  • hey…thanks…a chewed up coffee stirrer.
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Dante’s Peak (1997) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

C’mon Ruth this is your best dog pal Roughy barking and freaking out because you just gotta open that door and let me lead you down this mountain to safety! I mean c’mon Ruth what do you want…do you just want to take a lava bath Ruth…well ole Roughy here has too much life to live to tread molten hot lava death…Now open the fricken door ya stubborn old lady! Listen…someone is here! Oh good, it’s grandkids….they’ll talk some sense into you Ruth and then I can lead you all down the mountain to safety. Door’s open… Enough talk…follow me… rough rough roughy

Don’t worry fam. I got ya. I know a path down the mountain that leads straight out of town. Oh man. Did you guys see what happened to those Twonset Hot Springs lovers…Burnt Bubble Butts Up in the air without a care in the world…well I guess that’s one way to go…right fam…..fam? Ruh Roh Roughy.

Ok Roughy….I guess it’s just me against this mountain. One lone dog on a journey to freedom. Woo…Lava flow…hup…Let’s see if I can get a better look at things from up here on this rock. ..oh good…there is the Vulcanologist with the great hair and the carefree willingness to drive through anything no matter what the insurance cost. He really is quite dreamy though. and Jump! Hey fam…have you seen Ruth? Wait, what smells like burnt up old lady legs? oh…I guess that closes the chapter on that part of my life. Say…could you guys do me a favor and not tie me up until we get out of here…Roughy thanks you.

Hey is that Coffee…Coffee Coffee Coffee

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118928/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante%27s_Peak

TWITTER

Dante’s Peak (1997) – Like

SHOW NOTES

  • Where is Tommy Lee Jones when you need him?
  • This Music and intro…awesome! That Volcano eruption is startling at any audio level
  • Bikes, Umbrellas, Suitcases and crosses…oh my
  • Muddy Bloody mess
  • Marria didn’t make it.
  • 4 Years Later
  • Those are the worst push-ups ever
  • Meanwhile in Washington
  • Foreshadowing…Going on Vacation isn’t going to kill ya
  • The Devil’s Face in the eruption on the posted newspaper on the wall.
  • Yellow Balloon…good…Red Balloon Bad
  • Earth Nipples. Erupting Nipples
  • Second most desirable place under 20K
  • Linda Hamilton the softer side.
  • Pierce Bronson the Vulcan side….doing his best Dr. Grant
  • Pioneer Town…on Pioneer celebration
  • Hey…Money Magazine! We have things
  • Twonset “Too” Hot Springs.
  • Gram is in so much trouble….go home boys.
  • He hates kids! He’s not a family man…
  • Ruth is such a pleasant ex-mother in law. Where is the Ex?
  • Like a pool man…Yes…just like a pool man.
  • Do you know when those trees died? Yeah…just let me check my dead tree journal.
  • This movie plays like a Richard Donnor film.
  • Last active 7 thousand years ago.
  • Screaming kids…don’t help us screaming kids.
  • Ruth says the Squirrels are dying..more clues…I’ve seen this before.
  • A hot dip and some hot nookie.
  • Bubble Butts
  • Acid Lakes…Carbon Dioxide oozing out of the ground…Paul…listen to me Paul.
  • No one wants to believe. Harry is just an alarmist.
  • Norman…get the evac plans…
  • The Politics of science.
  • USGS is a lot more cautious of
  • We will be bouncing laser beams off of it…and checking it’s gases….hell we even have a robot.
  • You need a vacation…I’ll see you in 2 weeks.
  • Pizza Stein Bar
  • Politics and Economics
  • This town is all about being the best.
  • Holy Hell…she just burnt his hand with that coffee…most painful
  • Do you like EggPlant Parm? For Breakfast? No…for Dinner!
  • Greedy Helicopter Pilot…Overtime! Whatever TV
  • Professional Volcanologist / Amateur Hanky Magician and Domino Designer
  • Vulcan Life…got too close to the show.
  • Dr. Espresso from New York
  • Coffee…Coffee Coffee
  • Spider Legs. Gas Readings Up front.
  • turn around while I remove the ELF
  • Terry’s Masterpierce
  • The pilot is a dick? or…is he taking hazard pay for increasing his rates after an accident?
  • Your favorite movie glorification of a mundane scientific job? Twister, Dante’s Peak, Jurassic Park…
  • The Frog in boiling water analogy.
  • I promised you 2 days…I gave it a week.
  • One Lane Bridge
  • She is always making the coffee…
  • I am not a fan of the “past battle” discussion… Just like back in 85 at Mount Something
  • “I tole you so”
  • Why is the hotel owner and Paul wearing the same shirt?
  • oh no The Gas & Lube is on Fire
  • The roads are gone! Where we are going we don’t need roads
  • He keeps saying it is ok…it’s not ok
  • Get real Bevis. She’s just clearing her throat.
  • Up at Mirror Lake.
  • Harry sure trusts his vehicles…how is that working out for you.
  • Who invited the lava!?
  • now…a round of Row Row Row your boat
  • 2nd round…same as the first.
  • oh shit.
  • He has some pretty good
  • Damn-it Ruth…she got the acid legs
  • Grandma. Dead. Row Row your acid legs
  • Uh oh…a house…hit the bridge…bad timing
  • Better to be in a Humvee than that crappy cargo van…come on Paul…see ya Paul. Really…a Wilhelm scram on Paul’s death
  • The sin of inaction. You die.
  • Do you think we can drive over this lava in this truck? Sure…how hot is Lava? like 100 degrees
  • Ruffie……can’t let the dog die! Grandma…sure…dog…no f’ing way!
  • 8 years to get this town on it’s feet.
  • ELF…you got to have the ELF. Chekhov’s Elf.
  • How tight is everyone’s butthole in that truck while they are running from the fire cloud.
  • So long Harry…oh…he’s a magician. He’s skilled…not lucky.
  • Let’s go deep sea fishing. A fisherman of men
  • Why the hell would you tie up Ruffie…Ruffie needs to be free to run from the bad things.
  • This movie moves from a larger to smaller and smaller world until he is literally in a box.
  • Gotta have faith a faith a faith…baby
  • This Volcano really really wants to kill Harry.
  • Trope…all machines are broken until you kick them. Work damn you…work.
  • That damn light has been flashing for a day or two….hey asshole…check flashing red lights more often.
  • Thank you Nasa!
  • At least Paul got to see the show….bye Paul

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Jupiter Ascending (2015) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

and oh yeah it’s true…the great splicer spliced me with bad movies so I could find joy in even the crappiest of films..films where people with more sense might just toss their popcorn and leave. I know, I know time is the most precious commodity in the universe but here I am every week sucking on rotten tomatoes for hours at a time and proclaiming them to be the best the universe has to offer. Maybe it’s in my genes.

Take this week’s movie for instance…it has a flying jet-booted test-tube dog-man from space skyjacking spindly occasionally-visible always-naked roswell grays from the skies over Chicago for close to 10 minutes straight…well you may think…nah…I’d rather be cleaning the toilet…well I thought…woah! who’s got time to clean the toilet…pass me the popcorn…but hey wash your hands first ya

Also, who in their right mind would ever splice an elephant to make a starship pilot…he would be trumpeting all over the place…I don’t need that kind of drama on my bridge or in the non-existent starship toilet room… Phhhhttlll … Congratulations and my deepest condolences on your bowel movement Mr. Elephant Man.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1617661/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Ascending

TWITTER

Jupiter Ascending (2015) – Please make Sean Bean a Bee so he can fly far far away from this movie. Sean Bee! Dangit Scott…You know what…I am just going to give it to Gleb’s crew.

SHOW NOTES

  • Is this that alien movie
  • Part Nudity…oh no..Magic Mikes
  • Technically Speaking…I’m an alien
  • That is a lot of baby belly…Vasoline!
  • Over my dead body…name her Jupiter…she dead
  • Jupiter is THE planet
  • That was a pretty fast home invasion
  • Born in the House of Leo
  • gross she pushed me out too…on a container…in the ocean.
  • Born in the house of Leo
  • Stalin’s Frozen Balls!
  • The problem with Astrology…total bullshit
  • She cleaning for a living. and it’s always toilets.
  • Have you ever seen a harvest? Quite humane..
  • Planetary Marbles…earth worth the most..trade ya
  • U-Pah-Tur
  • Uh oh..she hates her life…that means the Planet gods are going to come and make it better by Harvesting her.
  • Lyncancant…Skyjacker…the boots.
  • Bounty Hunters…with cloaking tech
  • Let me sniff this legal paper…yep…I can see the past.
  • Jet boots….time to fire ’em up.
  • Hover board boots…speeder bikes…all the cool future tech
  • “Do you trust me?” no
  • Jupiter’s Storm is a city.
  • Valem likes to fly naked.
  • It’s the rat people.
  • We have a name…the universe works just like investigation on earth
  • Them some scary aliens
  • I will give it to Gleb’s crew
  • Harvesting Eggs..People on planets…queen eating eggs
  • She is pretending to be someone else
  • Spider monkey Aliens
  • Only good news in here where I float around with the laughing ladies
  • Wolf and Human made
  • Keepers are scary
  • Terrsies
  • Flying jet booted test tube wolf man from space skyjacking naked spider monkey gray aliens
  • His name is Caine Wise…like Canine…uh hu hu hu
  • That is the biggest pad I have ever seen
  • She is someone special..Jupiter
  • Sean …he is already dead
  • Is he spliced with bees
  • I need some heal spray
  • ha…Bees can detect royalty
  • Trying to get Sean Bean his Wings
  • She is a recurrence
  • Vladie – Cousin bought a ton of electronics with his egg money
  • He was born a runt and he has no pack…he is a lone wolf
  • The splicer (creator) loved bees…that is why he is part bee
  • Ouch Concussion gun
  • Mr. Knight…the rat splice
  • Abraxis is people
  • Entering into the Genetic Age
  • are you a vampire race?
  • 14 thousand years old.
  • Just a roller bladding shirtless spaceman.
  • Time is the most precious community in the universe
  • “In case I am reincarnated…I leave all my shit to me.”
  • All you have to do is close your eyes to all the horror and you can have everything royal girl.
  • Please call me Jupe…oh hi Stinger…what the hell am I talking about!
  • Portaling can be rough on the royal bowels
  • Headed to the hall of titles
  • genomegineering
  • Maybe it’s my genes.
  • They already said Mom had terrible luck in love…still in the recurrence
  • Clownfish ship
  • Intergalactic Advocate Bob here to assist you to the ascension process.
  • This is Revenue Request…not Revenue Review
  • A hodgepodge of all the SciFi you can imagine
  • Congratulations and my deepest condolences
  • Nectar…they are like bees…space bees pollinating the galaxy and then harvesting
  • 100 human beings per container
  • OMG…that is a vile of 100 people you dropped!
  • What! Will you marry me! But you are my child!
  • Weird ass short armed T-Rex Soldiers with their weird arms.
  • You better chase down those compressed space suits
  • You don’t treat your cousin like chicken.
  • A fairy tale in space!
  • The classic…does anyone have anything to say before we wed these chumps.
  • Jupiter Jones keeps making poor choices
  • Having an elephant splice as a pilot is probably a bad idea if flying requires great effort…BLAAT
  • Human Society is a pyramid scheme
  • This guy is the Crispin Glover of space
  • 2 royals falling…falling…royals don’t plummet to their death
  • You told me you hated your life. I am not your mother!!
  • U-Pit-Tur…get up and make the coffee
  • Half Wolf-Half Man-Half Winged Beast