Film Sack

Scooby-Doo (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack, the gang invites you to hop into their shagging wagon for a totally PG ride down to the coast to help solve the mystery of Scooby-Doo two thousand and two and the case of the “there’s somethings rotten about these tomato scores, man.”

Hey sackers in the back! Mind your manners and be careful around Randy’s vegetarian hash bar. Randy Randy Roo, how high are you?

Scott, can you pull over here. I got to take care of a situation brewing in my pants. Earlier, Ibbott and I were having a not so friendly farting contest and I think there may be a disembodied turtle head leaking protoplasm into my scooby-doo under-roos. If you know what I mean.

Wait! come back. Friends don’t quit. ohh.

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Film Sack

The Way of the Gun (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

filmscore’d –  5 / 8

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on The Way of the Sack I learned some brand new lore. The lore of the Bagman…specifically…James the Leprechaun Caan… Lepre-Caan..

Yep, He’s got bags of monies and I’ll be damned if you can have them. He’s a flat out trickster that Leprechaun Caan..caan. Luring you into his wishing well of broken bottles and shattered dreams. “There is cheese in that there trap” as best as I can tell from what Del Toro was mumbling. The Cheese of Death and whining. oh I got glass in my arm.

Anywho, best be on your guard. Because, even if you are lucky enough to get close to the Leprechaun Caan’s monies you will surely have to fight his league of extraordinarily old Gentlemen. They ain’t much but they’re all survivors…well at least the next 15 minutes or so.

Caaaaan! You clever girl. Don’t you walk away from me with your monies and your stiff neck.

Bagman.

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Film Sack

The Invasion (2007) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on… “Wait Is that Daniel Craig? Cause he looks a lot like Daniel Craig. Hmmm, does Daniel Craig have a brother?  Is there a Danny Craig…..maybe a Donny Craig? Hold up…..that is Daniel Craig!?”….

uh oh, I think I  just missed 15 minutes of the movie lost in some kind of Daniel Craig Brother Doppelganger mind loop… and for that brief moment… the world was just a little bit better for the possibility of two Craigs.

Twist ending he has a brother! Twisted Sister Ending he also has a sister. The Craigs….more interesting than this movie.

 

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Film Sack

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

“Local South African dance choreographer and ass blaster impersonator Chance Naidoo here.

Please step back white people. I am about to blow your collective minds as I light my ass on fire and rocket skyward as if….well… as if my ass were on fire. Be envious as I do those really sweet vertical leaps using only my crazy strong calf muscles…yes…just like in National Geographic.

Uh oh. Things have gone horribly wrong! It appears instead of lighting the fuse to my home made phosphorus device… which I have stuck in my bum… I have mistakenly lit my penis on fire. Which I sometimes refer to as my “Graboid.” Damn these authentic South African Tribal Dance Attire and their crotchless fashion sense.”

Said no South African ever. Always be running.

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Film Sack

The Ice Pirates (1984) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Yes this is 12 year old me calling from 1984 I just wanted to tell the older more experienced me in 2018….do not crap on my favorite things. You just keep your big mouth shut old man…and who are these people you are hanging out with in the future anyway…and where are my best friends Chuck and Amy…we said we would be friends forever and watch The Ice Pirates every day and play D&D every Friday night and drink Jolt Cola until we puked and then do it all over again!

Whatever, I don’t have time for this…The Ice Pirates is starting and we just got something called a “microwave” and I hear it is going to change how we make popcorn forever.

May all you haters end in thirst. Power to the people.

 

 

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Film Sack

Speed Racer (2008) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

First Name Speed…Last Name Racer.

…and now it’s time for “What you talkin’ about Theme Song?”

Where I will do my best to present talking points and avoid singing along the way.

Here he comes,  Here comes Speed Racer.

Hey, thanks for the heads up song writer. That’s not ominous at all.

He’s a demon on wheels, He’s a demon and he’s gonna be chasin’ after someone.

Let’s break that down. A “Demon on wheels;” Well, that is a thing we say about people who are driven.

However, the second mention of demon is not qualified with any sort of type. Which leads me to believe that this song is implying that Speed Racer is an actual demon. Well that changes things.

Oh what did you do Papa Racer!?

He’s gainin’ on you so you better look alive.

Holy crap.  The “chasin’ someone” is now no longer in question. It’s “you” who the demon racer is chasing!

Oh man!

Also, there are rumors circulating that Speed Racer lures little kids and monkey’s with Candy into the trunk of his car!

You nothing but evil Speed Racer!

He’s busy revvin’ up a powerful Mach 5.
And when the odds are against him
And there’s dangerous work to do

You bet your life

Speed Racer, Will see it through.

A Life wager! Nope! Nuh uh! Nope!

Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer, Go!

 

Straight back to hell ya doe eye’d demon!

Randy, what movie did you watch?

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