Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Jupiter Ascending (2015) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

and oh yeah it’s true…the great splicer spliced me with bad movies so I could find joy in even the crappiest of films..films where people with more sense might just toss their popcorn and leave. I know, I know time is the most precious commodity in the universe but here I am every week sucking on rotten tomatoes for hours at a time and proclaiming them to be the best the universe has to offer. Maybe it’s in my genes.

Take this week’s movie for instance…it has a flying jet-booted test-tube dog-man from space skyjacking spindly occasionally-visible always-naked roswell grays from the skies over Chicago for close to 10 minutes straight…well you may think…nah…I’d rather be cleaning the toilet…well I thought…woah! who’s got time to clean the toilet…pass me the popcorn…but hey wash your hands first ya

Also, who in their right mind would ever splice an elephant to make a starship pilot…he would be trumpeting all over the place…I don’t need that kind of drama on my bridge or in the non-existent starship toilet room… Phhhhttlll … Congratulations and my deepest condolences on your bowel movement Mr. Elephant Man.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1617661/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Ascending

TWITTER

Jupiter Ascending (2015) – Please make Sean Bean a Bee so he can fly far far away from this movie. Sean Bee! Dangit Scott…You know what…I am just going to give it to Gleb’s crew.

SHOW NOTES

  • Is this that alien movie
  • Part Nudity…oh no..Magic Mikes
  • Technically Speaking…I’m an alien
  • That is a lot of baby belly…Vasoline!
  • Over my dead body…name her Jupiter…she dead
  • Jupiter is THE planet
  • That was a pretty fast home invasion
  • Born in the House of Leo
  • gross she pushed me out too…on a container…in the ocean.
  • Born in the house of Leo
  • Stalin’s Frozen Balls!
  • The problem with Astrology…total bullshit
  • She cleaning for a living. and it’s always toilets.
  • Have you ever seen a harvest? Quite humane..
  • Planetary Marbles…earth worth the most..trade ya
  • U-Pah-Tur
  • Uh oh..she hates her life…that means the Planet gods are going to come and make it better by Harvesting her.
  • Lyncancant…Skyjacker…the boots.
  • Bounty Hunters…with cloaking tech
  • Let me sniff this legal paper…yep…I can see the past.
  • Jet boots….time to fire ’em up.
  • Hover board boots…speeder bikes…all the cool future tech
  • “Do you trust me?” no
  • Jupiter’s Storm is a city.
  • Valem likes to fly naked.
  • It’s the rat people.
  • We have a name…the universe works just like investigation on earth
  • Them some scary aliens
  • I will give it to Gleb’s crew
  • Harvesting Eggs..People on planets…queen eating eggs
  • She is pretending to be someone else
  • Spider monkey Aliens
  • Only good news in here where I float around with the laughing ladies
  • Wolf and Human made
  • Keepers are scary
  • Terrsies
  • Flying jet booted test tube wolf man from space skyjacking naked spider monkey gray aliens
  • His name is Caine Wise…like Canine…uh hu hu hu
  • That is the biggest pad I have ever seen
  • She is someone special..Jupiter
  • Sean …he is already dead
  • Is he spliced with bees
  • I need some heal spray
  • ha…Bees can detect royalty
  • Trying to get Sean Bean his Wings
  • She is a recurrence
  • Vladie – Cousin bought a ton of electronics with his egg money
  • He was born a runt and he has no pack…he is a lone wolf
  • The splicer (creator) loved bees…that is why he is part bee
  • Ouch Concussion gun
  • Mr. Knight…the rat splice
  • Abraxis is people
  • Entering into the Genetic Age
  • are you a vampire race?
  • 14 thousand years old.
  • Just a roller bladding shirtless spaceman.
  • Time is the most precious community in the universe
  • “In case I am reincarnated…I leave all my shit to me.”
  • All you have to do is close your eyes to all the horror and you can have everything royal girl.
  • Please call me Jupe…oh hi Stinger…what the hell am I talking about!
  • Portaling can be rough on the royal bowels
  • Headed to the hall of titles
  • genomegineering
  • Maybe it’s my genes.
  • They already said Mom had terrible luck in love…still in the recurrence
  • Clownfish ship
  • Intergalactic Advocate Bob here to assist you to the ascension process.
  • This is Revenue Request…not Revenue Review
  • A hodgepodge of all the SciFi you can imagine
  • Congratulations and my deepest condolences
  • Nectar…they are like bees…space bees pollinating the galaxy and then harvesting
  • 100 human beings per container
  • OMG…that is a vile of 100 people you dropped!
  • What! Will you marry me! But you are my child!
  • Weird ass short armed T-Rex Soldiers with their weird arms.
  • You better chase down those compressed space suits
  • You don’t treat your cousin like chicken.
  • A fairy tale in space!
  • The classic…does anyone have anything to say before we wed these chumps.
  • Jupiter Jones keeps making poor choices
  • Having an elephant splice as a pilot is probably a bad idea if flying requires great effort…BLAAT
  • Human Society is a pyramid scheme
  • This guy is the Crispin Glover of space
  • 2 royals falling…falling…royals don’t plummet to their death
  • You told me you hated your life. I am not your mother!!
  • U-Pit-Tur…get up and make the coffee
  • Half Wolf-Half Man-Half Winged Beast

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Carrie (1976) – Filmsack Show Notes

Intro

oh hi,

Welcome to hell Carrie, we’ve been expecting you. Hopefully, you took notice of all the graffiti signs we have been leaving around town for the last couple of weeks to prepare you. Now come on in and burn a while. haha…I’m kidding. This is hell…you burn forever.

Ok…so let’s see…here is your first “turd in hell” ration. Just go ahead and eat that one up and get a taste of what to expect…oh don’t worry…we call it a ration…but really there is just an endless supply of shit down here.

Up next is the sign up sheet for the Devil’s Dance…you may know it back on earth as “The Prom.” This year’s theme is “Bring your Mom to Prom.” and speak of the devil, there’s your mom now trying to save Tommy from eternal damnation. You’re too late Margret! Now get back in your Prayer Pantry and Pray to Scary Jesus until the Devil’s Dance.

Oh hell…I see Billy is over at the lake of fire smashing hogs with a sledge hammer. Well, Carrie we will just have to finish up your orientation later. Hey Billy! Stop it! Stop enjoying yourself! This is hell for Pete’s sake. At least act like your are miserable!

You can’t hide from me Billy I can see your stupid Silhouette!

Links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074285/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_(1976_film)

Twitter

Carrie (1976) – I can see your dirty pillows and really way too much more than I care for. De Palma was weak…De Palma was weak…say it.

Show Notes

  • 1976! What…that’s pre-Star Wars!
  • Eat Shit Carrie
  • A little friendly game of Volleyball and then a wild sexy romp in the ladies locker room.
  • Can’t get enough of naked ladies rubbing themselves??…how about some slow mo for that Body Washing.
  • bloood!
  • Plug it up…plug it up…plug it up…that’s shit only King would write.
  • This Gym teacher is kind of aggressive.
  • Carrie White…not no more.
  • Cassie…Carrie.
  • The principal is not comfortable with all this women stuff.
  • We can call you a cab
  • Dismissed from gym for a week!
  • “Crazy Carrie… Crazy Carrie..” Bike crash.
  • These are godless times…I’ll drink to that.
  • Here lady…here is a book of the lord for your heathen daughter.
  • The first sin was intercourse! The first sin was intercourse.
  • Momma…why didn’t you tell me.
  • Eve was weak…Eve was weak…say it!
  • You didn’t tell me momma! The curse of blood.
  • Here Carrie…get into the praying pantry.
  • That praying pantry Jesus is a little too real for me.
  • “Thank you momma for my prayer time with scary Jesus in the prayer pantry.”
  • Carrie White says it’s beautiful.
  • It is bad enough to write Eat Shit…it’s worse to draw it.
  • Stretch Norma Stretch
  • The coach is just making them girls all super strong…they gonna beat up Carrie
  • and now…run in a herd. Shut up Chris.
  • This is over…this isn’t over by a long shot.
  • Carrie knows she has the mind powers
  • Come on Travolta…Drinking and Driving!
  • Is Travolta in the slow lane…
  • She is always getting slapped…the coach…her boyfriend.
  • James Garner in the Gun Something
  • Don’t call Travolta a Dumb Shit…or you will get the slap down.
  • The library can teach you hot to use your telekinesis…aka witch powers
  • If you ask Carrie to the prom she will run away.
  • Having a moment with the gym teacher in the courtyard.
  • This was the original Mean Girls
  • You can’t go to Prom without a date!! What!
  • “We don’t care how we look…do we William Katt?” Well…hair toss…maybe.
  • Look at all these pigs! It’s a good joke right…kill a pig and take it’s blood.
  • Travolta is the nightmare pigs have. Hammer time…get’er done.
  • “You’ve been invited to the prom? You mean the Devil’s Dance? Now get in the Prayer Pantry and pray to scary Jesus.”
  • After the blood comes the boys.
  • Tell that boy you ain’t going to prom or we are moving away from here.
  • Psycho music
  • The devil took your daddy out of here…kicking and screaming.
  • How did those loser get all that pig blood in that gas can.
  • Keep your tits on and I will let you pull the rope when the time comes.
  • Does Freddy have mind powers? Is he going to be there to count the ballots for king and queen at 6…he will be there at 8.
  • Bates high school. Like Norman Bates?
  • Uh…Ma’am are you going to buy those lipsticks?
  • $10 bucks to rent a tux?
  • I don’t have a Tuxedo body.
  • It’s Pink Momma…are you colorblind or something?
  • I can see your dirty pillows….breasts..they are called breasts.
  • He’s going to laugh at you…they are all going to laugh at you.
  • Look what you did mamma…you messed up my dirty pillows!
  • Well the prom is going well. I love the prom band.
  • What is Mrs Collin’s deal with Carrie…she is really focused in.
  • Tommy is a pretty good pretender.
  • This movie does a good job at lulling your into a false sense of trust…even though you know something bad is going to happen.
  • You liked my poem!
  • Love in the stars (prom theme)…feeling like I’m on Mars.
  • To the Devil with false modesty…to the Devil. Momma was right!!
  • Time to chop vegetables. They are all going to laugh at you. Chop Chop Chop
  • Norma is always wearing that hat…even at prom.
  • Drop them ballots and just start kicking.
  • Travolta under the prom stage is enough to give you nightmares.
  • That bucket is supposed to be full of glitter and star dust not pig blood.
  • Sissy Spacek was 25 or 26 here.
  • That blood bucket is all giggly.
  • Follow the rope to the silhouette hands under the stage.
  • William Katt is like…My girlfriend so crazy…got me taking other chics to the prom…now she is getting thrown out of the prom.
  • They’re all gonna laugh at you…Mom had powers of future sight. Trust me Carrie…you can Trust me. Sorry…
  • You know what this prom needs…water and electricity and a lot of fire.
  • Now we gotta move.
  • Mom is at home having candle light church.
  • Now your dress is red. I guess your mom saw that as well. Foreshadow…they are all going to laugh at you.
  • Momma is creepy hiding behind the door like that.
  • I should have killed myself the first time he put it in me. The sin never dies.
  • Whiskey Sex and I liked it
  • The Devil has come home…you are the devil in this scenario Carrie
  • Gonna stab you in the back with my floor knife.
  • and now I am the scary the Jesus.
  • Head to the Prayer Pantry with Scary Jesus as the house falls down.
  • For Sale…one pile of rubble…
  • Jump Scare!

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Creepshow 2 (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

and now the final thoughts of a fat guy in a trailer park as he reflects on his life:

“Well Fat Stuff…this is it. It’s Miller time for the last time. But no need to get broke up about it…I mean just look around you Fatso Gribbens…what a beautiful life you have lived… albeit too short and perhaps a little too fat.

So, Goodbye topless Mermaid statuette I won at the county fair popping balloons in 84. See ya, Iron Madden mini poster I won at the county fair tossing rings in 86. I’ll catch you on the flippy floppy prize winning miniature fatso cow I kissed at the county fair in 87. I’ll miss your face the most but I will carry our love into the afterlife like a burning torch to light my way”

Locooooo….Loocoooo… Hey, Bury me in the backyard with my Bullshit hat or don’t bury me at all.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092796/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creepshow_2

TWITTER

Creepshow 2 (1987) – Like a War Chief without paint on a dry day. That’s a scalping. or I fought the lake but the blob won. Thanks for the ride lady.

SHOW NOTES

  • I mean…what is it
  • One more step and BLAM
  • oh nowhere…just a sleepy town in Maine
  • Comet news agency driven by The Creep.
  • This feels like King so far
  • Oh Billy…you are such a junkie
  • Hot off the presses
  • It turned into a toon!
  • I loved horror comics when I was a kid.
  • What is up with Horror Hosts and puns
  • Drinking Jimmy’s Cracked Corn
  • A warchief without war paint is like…
  • more than 30 years of standing
  • what do you want me to do Martha
  • This store has….
  • Meanwhile, down at the town of Dead River…Ray…everything has moved away
  • This is the saddest TV music you will ever hear
  • Do you need to wear an apron over your overhauls?
  • haha…could you pull us around to the next store…sputter sputter clutch sputter
  • Chief say Ya-Ta-Hey
  • Do you guys always check the time when there is a wall clock in a scene? 3:13PM
  • “I am ashamed to stand inside this place when my people are so much in your debt, Ray Spruce owner of the General Store in Dead River and keeper of the Wooden War Chief.”
  • The Jachimba…
  • Dude…this is a general store…not a pawn shop
  • Eilene is your forever after 2 autumns
  • It is a bad thing to borrow…it is a worse thing to beg
  • Good Afternoon Martha Spruce
  • Chief Woodenhead has been waiting for this moment
  • and now it is dark inside and 4:30…that was a long talk
  • …no shove this in his mouth…he big…
  • Native American Sam in a photo booth dreaming about being a hollywood star and the millions of women who want to run his hair through their legs.
  • Took him 9 years to grow this hair…what you think I’m not serious…9 years…I’m not just goofing around here.
  • Do you know that movie…where the guy…
  • one more step and Blam
  • Oh shit…you done shot Martha in the side
  • cool…throwing up
  • “Let’s go fat stuff…we got some money that needs spending.”
  • “we’re going to Hollywood, Fats.”
  • I am Native American Groot
  • Abs of wood
  • hell..it’s Miller time…it’s always Miller time down at the Trailer Park
  • fat stuff and his prize winning cow.
  • Loco…Loco
  • Oh no…my life is flashing before my eyes and all I see is a my shitty trailer memorabilia
    • Iron Maiden Artwork…check
    • Leather Chic on a bike…check
    • Mermaid boobies…check
    • Black and white Hustler Pin Up…check
    • Miller cans…check and check
    • Prize winning cow pic…check
    • and this bullshit cap..check a roo and guitar riff
  • Geez how long is he going to call Loco
  • Everybody is wanting Poncho
  • haha…yes Poncho…Loco has more sense than you have
  • Cisco is everywhere!
  • Ironical…got him by his hair-sticals
  • Oh..that’s a scalping
  • So did uncle set up the old folks…cleared the debt….killed his slacker nephew and recovered the tribes treasure…How indeed.
  • Creepshow is not a Funny Paper!
  • I feel the need…the need for weed…now…pass the joint..pass the joint
  • The Raft…it will be there
  • a lot of Poncho references that I don’t get in this movie
  • Z28…yellow…he like yellow
  • Horlicks University
  • Deke has a speedo and a coin purse?
  • The water was actually cold enough to almost give the actor who played Randy, hypothermia
  • “Too damn cold to get laid..”
  • Zeke is a singer of things
  • Laverne is not a strong swimmer
  • I don’t believe in Oil Slicks
  • have you ever seen an oil slick…well..have you.
  • Damnit Rachel…you don’t make no sense…first you are annoyed with everyone and won’t smoke…then you go looking for a smoke…and then you rub the “oil slick” and now you are dead
  • a puke per segment.
  • Come on your read all the science books…brainball
  • pretty sure Deke don’t bend that way….
  • That must be a DieHard Battery in Dead Deke’s car…radio is still playing
  • haha…oh Randy…you are such a Creep
  • You really put the Randy in Randy
  • You are such a dumbass Randy
  • Well Swimmers…that’s a lawsuit
  • Hitchiker…bed frame IT copy
  • You charge by the orgasm? $160
  • selling your body for a Mercedes
  • Annie is a bit of a hot mess
  • I was headed to Dover…now I’m dead
  • Run Annie…Run
  • Was this before or after Stephen King got hit? Happens all the time
  • Think rationally Annie…can you live with this?
  • “You’re seeing things bitch…you can’t live with it”
  • This Mercedes has too many points of entry!
  • Thanks for the ride lady!
  • She’s trying to swipe him off like some kind of thicket car wash
  • low bridge
  • Why does she keep stopping..
  • He’s like some kind of immortal hitchhiker
  • Annie used the ole shoot and kick
  • I beat you…I got you…
  • Jesus…take the wheel…I am not doing my best driving
  • She’s willing to give the hitchhiker $50…is that $25 per orgasm?
  • They eat meat! Billy and his FlyTraps

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Spooks: The Greater Good aka MI-5 (2015) – Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Dmitri! Answer the phone. ok….I’ll get it then..ya lazy Russian bum. Uh oh. It’s an out of area call…but I should still probably answer it…it could be our manly leader on vacation and he may lost another shirt. But just to be safe…I am going to use phone answering protocol number 2.

(clears throat)

Hello, Taco Bell of Moscow…how may we perforate your colon today? (pause) Oh hi Harry, oh yes this is FSB…my accent? I dropped it…I’m working the spy game now…gotta sound American. So what can I do for you Harry?

Qasim’s wife? yeah she is here. Can we return her to you? You mean like…today? Because today is no good..and I’m pretty busy next week…in fact my whole month is booked up. (Right…uh huh uh huh) So today then? OK. Say, just a hypothetical question…does she need to be alive? Right…Right…no…I totally understand…no…she is fine…just like when you dropped her off…totally fine. Not a scratch on her.

Listen…I got to go…Dmitri is choking on a chicken bone. Alright, See you then Harry. Say hi to Hagrid for me…alright bye.

Dmitri!…get a shovel…we got some digging to do. Hmm…that’s odd…I don’t remember writing Pull on my hand.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3321300/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spooks:_The_Greater_Good

TWITTER

Spooks: The Greater Good aka MI-5 (2015) – but what about Vass’ cat in room 58….I watched all the way through the credits…nothing…. but what about the cat.

SHOW NOTES

  • Is this Mission Impossible knock off? Nope…TV series…MI-5 is the American Marketing machine
  • What we hoped it would be….Knockoff of Mission Impossible w/ Tom Cruise but with Kit Harington….what we got…a TV series sized movie based on Spooks.
  • Saban Films as in…PowerRangers? Why you bring this international trash to our shores!
  • Meanwhile, London.
  • This very much reminds me of X-Files movie…TV gone big
  • I spy with my little eye…something wet…rain?
  • Meanwhile down London Control…Traffic Control is not doing their jorb!
  • I feel like I should know what is going on…but I am not
  • The local cops pulled our chopper!!
  • Harry…it’s hard for me to not hear Harry Potter when a Londoner says Harry
  • Beginning with…Motor bikes
  • I am not talking to you …I am talking to the CCTV
  • Ohhh…the American’s are going to be so mad
  • You do not negotiate with Terrorist…but we do!
  • Crazy Eyes!…I’m looking at your CCTV!
  • He will not let June (Jude) use her gun…no June
  • I can run as fast as you can motorbike
  • Ed should have waited…CIA is shot…
  • Finally…she got to shoot…2 shots…and she’s out
  • Hey…the American’s like Kit Harington..let’s put him in this film adaptation of the TV series
  • MiFive
  • Harry is pulling out flowers and she is putting down flowers
  • uh oh…haha…c’mon Harry…that bridge is not high enough to kill you. Maybe high enough to make you sorry you jumped.
  • Oh…Harry will be back
  • Running from the Russians.
  • Bland movie is bland
  • Liver and Onions
  • Meat Pie
  • Ruth Evershed…that sounds like a reference to someone in the TV show that I have no clue about
  • The bird gave it away
  • 3 encrypted phone calls
  • You and Harry ever talk about Berlin…when your father died…I bet that was in the TV show as well
  • Mace is a dick head
  • Find Harry….and you can ask him about Berlin yourself
  • ohhh…Southern England
  • Harry is promising more than he can deliver..
  • She doesn’t need a hospital…she needs mercy.
  • No Harry…don’t shoot her there!
  • Hey Erin is a major character from the TV Series…they just going to kill her
  • This postcard has 2 levels! nope…just messed up my postcard
  • Hannah always go with a gun. You go with gun too
  • Wear this white hoodie and carry this envelope….1.2.3.4
  • It’s 12:34!
  • Run…Run…Sprint…Drama Drama…Sprint…Glasgow…
  • Can you run like Tom Cruise? no? you run like a man…ok ok…you are hired
  • Holloway…do not go dark
  • The drunk, the mad and the dead…off the table? no way man
  • There is a mole!
  • What happened in Berlin?
  • If he went dark…why does he have a phone?
  • Harry used to stop by twice a year for a lecture and a diddling
  • Pop my collar…no one will find me now
  • Everyone gets mad about “You let him get away!!”
  • That van is an uncomfortable pink
  • I’m just going to walk this way a bit and…RUN AS FAST AS I CAN AND PARKOUR OVER MY CAR and into this house…GUN!
  • June thinks Rob Vass (partner) may be dirty.
  • Room 58 has a kitty…Rob likes his fuzzy kitty…he also has a lot of files and neat trash.
  • W78 Account prefix…that is Panama City!!
  • Souvenir…a loaded gun
  • Thames house…who is Thame? I kid…I kid.
  • Stupid June…why you get sucker punched.
  • Duuude…Rob has a big punch…put Kit through the plaster
  • He’s Dead…we can check his pulse.
  • June was all hot to shoot someone…till she shot Rob…and then she is all like…maybe he is ok.
  • oh man…Francis met a bad end
  • See my pin of my explosive vest…
  • bladder punch Harry?
  • Kit and his Man Bun
  • Harry has to protect the MI-5
  • Hey…a low security PC at a high security Facility. Let’s hack it!
  • Meanwhile, down at the Internet Cafe…look at the neon!! Harry has a old guy in a hat.
  • This machine is pre-millennial. in 2015!
  • You can do good…or you can do well.
  • Sorry Will…yeah…that’s an angle…you going to have to punch Harry real hard in the penis
  • Will’s mom has not done well since Will’s dad’s death.
  • Finally, can I drink the water? uh oh…it’s spiked!
  • Poor ole Will…Harry is a jerk face
  • Let’s make phone bombs! Let’s have a whole warehouse of phone bombs!
  • Will is a prisoner…
  • “Hey, why did I write pull on my hand? I don’t remember doing that…ooooh”
  • Will not good enough…but good enough to escape custody. Thanks June! He kept quiet about Vass…so June helped him out
  • Meanwhile in Russia…uh oh…
  • There ain’t nothing on that drive…Harry is playing you for a chump…chump
  • Harry is better than all of them…playing them against each other
  • June is a traitor? Nooo…Dangit Vass…
  • They didn’t promise anything…she just killed Rob cause they told her…even though she knew he wasn’t dirty
  • haha…Harry is convincing
  • Harry set all of this up to spend some quality training time with Will…he promised Will’s dad/mom he would keep him safe.
  • haha…Hasim’s wife is dead…for how long? They dig her up and brought here in the trunk.
  • When someone asks you to return their stuff…but you done broke it weeks earlier…you don’t bring that broke ass shit and show it to them and go…sorry. and then you put someone elses clothes on it…take some pictures and say it’s fine…it’s fine.
  • I’ll tell your whore you said goodbye
  • was it quick? 2 to the heart One for each of you…your mom and you
  • “anything?” “not a sausage.” is that a saying?
  • What a crappy sniper…you don’t shoot her in the chest…the head…always the head…also, don’t get me started on the velocity of the bullet
  • Qasim…My wife is dead…and so is my brother.
  • Nice…somebody left Harry a suicide pill?
  • Oh Harry…what would Ruth think of what you have done.
  • Man these people are master manipulators
  • Good thing Harry set a mind bomb in Will’s head…set to go off exactly when it was needed…oooh…Southwest Corner!
  • How did you make a choice like that? It’s my job
  • one week later…posioned
  • Who can tell the best lie…longest
  • So his plan is to leave her there with her niece while she bleeds out her arse!
  • Is that what got his dad killed? Wearing his wedding ring…because of Will
  • Will was not even born yet when his father died.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

House (1986) Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,
Hey Shovel….while we are stuck here levitating in the upstairs bathroom of the house waiting for someone to open the door…I’ve been doing some serious thinking about how we got ourselves into this situation. I mean, I know I’m just a pair of Shrub Cutters…but to the best of my reasoning…the house has enchanted us with the gift of life. But to what end? I’m a still a little fuzzy on why are we trying to murder Roger? I mean up until this point I have just been following Axe’s lead ….but now I am starting to question things….like why Grass hook is hovering up into my personal space! Back up Grass hook!

Shh…listen…I think someone’s coming! Oh I hope it is one of the nosy neighbors! I would love to bury myself deep into that Harold guy and watch all the booze shoot out like a freshly tapped keg. Oh no! I’ve been gifted with life but all I desire is murder and mayhem! Axe…end my suffering with a swift swing! ….and so help me Grass Hook… by the name of the maker of tools….if you don’t back up…. I’ll will take you with me!

*Gasp* The door is open! Go Go Go…Kill anything that moves! GRASS HOOK GET OUT OF THE WAY! MAN YOU REALLY PUT THE ASS IN GRASS!


LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091223/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_(1986_film)

TWITTER

House (1986) – Like trying to flee from a suicide scene on a moped. You just can’t get away fast enough. I AM GROCERY BOY!

SHOW NOTES

  • Mrs Hooper…It’s me…The Grocery Boy…I have no name.
  • Sick Picture
  • It’s hard to run from death on a moped
  • Thanks Mr. Jones…”he loved my aunt?”
  • Get out of my face ya freaky book fans
  • Married to Sandy Sinclair…a Marvelous Actress.
  • Blood Dance…the best book 3 years ago.
  • You gonna owe Double day…you already lost your wife over this.
  • Frozen Food….The Horror!
  • 30 minutes for a frozen entree in the box…didn’t even take it out.
  • FBI and the CIA are on the case Mr. Cobb
  • There was no caller id in 1986….how did he know to pretend he was having a rocking Poker game?
  • His ex-wife lost at the awards show
  • Does he not know how phones work? Hello Sandy…Sandy. “I’m such a jerk.”
  • Is his son in the pet cemetery? Sometime dead is better.
  • Mr. Parker…Mr. Cobb…Mr. Jones…Mrs. Hooper
  • US Record for 2 years for fishing. Uncle Hooper Died Diving for Abalone
  • Cobb grew up at the house…his mom died and his aunt raised him.
  • So not only did he grow up there at his aunt’s house he lived there as an adult? or was he just helping his Aunt with some yard work?
  • Jimmy done got took by that car…no! he’s in the pool!
  • Got a nephew named Monty who could do something with this place.
  • How did Uncle die? He was diving…HARPOON!
  • “The House did it Roger…” Aunt Elizabeth
  • Aunt was working on paintings.
  • Dumbass…don’t put your hand in a shark’s mouth.
  • They should call that foray the “hello” room…Hello? anyone there?
  • The house tricked me…this house knows everything about you.
  • is that his Valium?
  • Ha! He is still sleeping in his kid’s bed
  • Love that sweater …beat it dog…That is Harold’s dog
  • Mr. Gordon Horrible old woman…lovely woman…want dinner?
  • Harold keeps a book in his pocket that is essentially a stack of papers?
  • That is one tiny monitor.
  • Solitude…solitude
  • Vietnam on set.
  • These guys are in their 30s…the average age was 19…ni ni ninteen
  • I don’t usually think about grenades being a quiet attack…but I guess they can be used in that capacity.
  • If only…you could turn your kids off with a remote
  • Going crazy…brush my teeth….nope…going back to check that closet.
  • The hour strikes 12….the witching hour! Do…Not…Open…That…Closet….after…midnight.
  • Did this guy just order a bunch of equipment from Amazon of the 80s?
  • Hey Rog…what’cha doing? Solitude? Looks like Larping for military types.
  • It’s only after midnight Roger…lots of cameras and lights and military garb
  • Harold just invites himself in with food.
  • Look at this scratch…does this look like a ghost
  • Harold just gonna call a celebrity?
  • flashbacks
  • Richard Moll has got to keep moving and clucking like a chicken.
  • That fish is alive!
  • Got to go get a gun? now there is flying yard tools…yet he is still worried about shooting the fish?
  • The yard tools are back! They are the chick in the bucket?
  • Sandy…what happened to you! Accidental discharge.
  • Roger has a pink phone?
  • Me? Just sitting on my porch whistling and rubbing my gun.
  • Roger Cobb has a face that is hard to recognize at first…but then…bam.
  • Blood Garden or Blood Dance?
  • Beat it Harold
  • So the tools were just hanging out in the upstairs bathroom. Should have sent the cop up there.
  • Now Roger believes his son is in the house?
  • What are you digging? A hole.
  • Tanya just pops in…man theses neighbors.
  • Man what all did he bury in that backyard?
  • The neighbors dog is a menace.
  • Roger spends a lot of time violently rifling through drawers
  • They should call this movie “Neighborhood” cause the real nightmare are the neighbors.
  • I say just let them ghost demon clowns take Robert.
  • So the house knows your fears and uses them? Why was Aunt Elizabeth afraid of yard tools?
  • shoot it Harold!! it’s a harpoon gun.
  • Big Ben needs to be finished off
  • Harold drunk himself to drunk
  • Jimmy lives in the bathroom vanity mirror
  • haha…boney bat boy is kind of nifty with a shotgun
  • Undead Ben is actually pretty durn cool. Kind of reminds me of Swamp Thing.
  • I have never climbed onto a roof on a 2 story house. Happens on TV and Movies all the time. Maybe I live in the wrong places.
  • You can’t hurt me anymore…and just like that…done.
  • Cheesy Stud?

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Olympus Has Fallen (2013) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,
Yeah…this Mike…but hey don’t call me by my real name on an unsecured line…refer to me by my callsign….Big Mac
Right. Right. Wow, that is a lot to take in. Listen, I’m a bit disposed at the moment so could you sum this up and make it like my preference of underwear…yeah that’s right…briefs.

So How bad is it? “The Front fence has been breached. There’s a C-130 burning on the South Lawn…and a gunfight raging on the North….” Yeah…that’s bad. What’s the good news? Morgan Freeman is now President. Well I’m not seeing a problem here. Let’s just cut our loses and build a new White House with Morgan Freeman as the President. Job done! Call it a day.

oh…they have the kid?…Alright….Let me finish up here then….GRUNTS….MORE GRUNTS….Ahhhh….The Package is in the pool. I repeat…the package is in the pool. Operation Taco Drop is a success and I am initiating “jiggle the handle” protocol. Uh oh…not good…this day went from bad to shit.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2302755/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympus_Has_Fallen

TWITTER

Olympus Has Fallen (2013) – Like Owen Wilson said in Armegeddon… “Scariest Environment Imaginable. Thanks -That’s all you gotta say. Scariest Environment Imaginable” Wow

SHOW NOTES

  • Is this the movie about White House Down?
  • I hope this movie doesn’t suck
  • Nice Font Choice?
  • Meanwhile up at Camp David in the snow
  • Red,White and Blue Boxing
  • “He likes it when you call him Dries?”
  • Christmas time is a great Action Movie time
  • “Mustang, this is Big Top, Bringing out the Full Package.”
  • This is a horrible idea. Driving in the snow. Right Diaz?
  • Gee…I wonder if that kid will have to use all that Mike knowledge about the White House?
  • Ice freezes on Bridges…also, where did that limb come from?
  • Seat-belts get stuck a lot in movies. What’s the numbers in real life?
  • The Package is in the pool. I repeat…the package is in the pool.
  • 18 months later … also, July 5th
  • Apparently, he is absent. He don’t go to July 4th BBQ with his girl
  • Watching the flashbacks makes me realize that he should have been quicker to pull out that knife and cutting seat-belts. Mike
  • How in the hell did the president eat all the Rocky Road in the white house last time?
  • Mike doesn’t roll into this job at the Treasury Department until around 10:15AM…sounds like he traded up
  • Ooooh. So Mike told Speaker of the House (Morgan Freeman) to go F* Himself
  • Mike clocks out around 7PM?
  • Code 9-9-9
  • That plane is up to no good!
  • I like to think that the Capital has Anti-Aircraft concealed in the roof.
  • Oh man…this movie done got violent. How does a plane of this type reach right into the heart of the capital with only 1 encounter with the Air Force?
  • Oh…they just gonna blow themselves up…so we got suicide bombers and hide in plain sight terrorists with a variety of firearms…like 20 or 30 of them…and a bomb on a bus.
  • Have you seen Connor! Where is the president’s kid!
  • Meanwhile down at the Pentagon…How bad is it? “Front fence has been breached. We’ve got a C-130 burning on the South Lawn…and a gunfight raging on the North….” F*CKING SH*T is right
  • Release the hounds!
  • Sniper…let me show you how to snipe with a pistol
  • Forbes…what are you doing Forbes…
  • …and now an army of trash trucks.
  • We gonna ground these trash trucks…
  • No Tim…you were our good friend.
  • PEOC has gone offline…
  • To quote Owen Wilson from Armegeddon… “Scariest Environment Imaginable. Thanks -That’s all you gotta say. Scariest Environment Imaginable”
  • Whaaa…Scary Korean guy don’t need glasses!
  • as Brian Ibbott says in this movie…”They’ve taken the White House.”
  • I got to say…it seems like it would be a lot easier to take the president hostage anywhere other than the White House.
  • Dangit…don’t you bring up 1812 the day after The 4th of July
  • I watched this movie on the 5th of July…am I patriotic or what?
  • I got to believe that we would just blow up the White House before letting someone rule the roost.
  • Really not a fan of Rugged Good Looks Ross.
  • Play that somber music!
  • Smuggy Smuggington. It takes 15 minutes for armed forces to reach the White House…we took it down in 13.
  • “Hey…what was that sound…oh…it was death..”
  • A pic of Connor!! Noooo. I’m only here to be emotionally invested in innocent kids.
  • Mr. Kang!!
  • Wow…he still has a lot of clearance to use his thumb to reactivate.
  • Chopped off the tip of the Washington Monument.
  • “What’s the going rate for souls these days?”
  • Forbes is so GQ
  • Well Mr. Speaker is now the President.
  • I really don’t see the problem. You got Morgan Freeman as the president…time to cut your loses and build a new White House in Virginia
  • Echelon 4…Banning.
  • Took a Lincoln to the head.
  • Cerberus…So change the codes. uh…hello….
  • Damnit Truman…you had to do upgrades to the walls…he’s in the walls…and with that info all the Koreans start creeping slowly towards the walls.
  • Is the kids designation “Spark Plug?” or is that something Mike just likes to say.
  • Don’t tell the kid “I will see you on the other side…” I’m sure that is what they told him about his mom.
  • Spark Plug received…now time to get real.
  • Mother killed by America Bomb
  • How do they have a picture of Mr. Kang if no one has ever taken a picture?
  • “Hey Asshole” Classic
  • Let’s play a game of “F*ck off” You go first.
  • Not even under presidential order would I give codes.
  • This is so Die Hard…Conversation with the traitor because you trust him.
  • How can Rugged Ross not fight any better than that. I thought he was an agent like Mike.
  • Kang is such a cartoon bad guy…he should have gotten all the codes like in 5 minutes. He is conveniently absent for minutes at a time.
  • Hydra Weapon? That’s some slow ass weapon.
  • Hydra 6
  • Hydra 6 is 4 sentries…Taking out Tigers.
  • How can such a fast weapon on deployed be so shit slow getting to its destination
  • We do not negotiate with Terrorist…
  • Why would you take the most resistant hostage. Uh oh.. Video feed is down….that means they need a new camera
  • Zag…Zig…Do something
  • Mike is John Wicking this house…
  • Dumbass…dur…how did the President not see that coming. That was the first thought. Launch the missiles dumbasses….like fire them to the space.
  • This has to be the stupidest president ever.
  • Finally…they shot the President…now finally Morgan Freeman can take his rightful place.
  • Don’t help President..
  • Knife to the brain…just like I called it.
  • OMG…Backslash Niner! HASHTAG! Who made this password!
  • Suck it Cerberus…now take this stupid shit offline.