Things that come out my head.
Things that come out my head.
On this week’s FilmHack….oh…wait…..hold on a second guys..my screen just locked and it wants a Password?
Hey, I don’t remember setting a password. Hmm…let me try my bank password…cause that makes sense right? So, It’s all lower case iamsobroke and then the number 69 followed by the dollar sign.
Nope…oh man…this is a really a lot of pressure with all you guys watching.
Oh…ok…thank you Ibbott…yes a back rub does help…oh yeah…now it’s coming back…I think I may have used my Facebook password Suckerberg69. and Enter….crap…
Woah woah…Randy where are you going dude!? Get up from there man! oh…you were just helping tie my shoe. Man…you guys are super helpful.
Oh I got it. I probably used my Twitter password… TheBirdIsTheWord69. Bingo! That’s it…Show notes open!
Scott, stop measuring my inseam that’s too helpful.
Welcome to our little suburban crime ridden… and social justice warrior nightmare…of a neighborhood where you will find puppies in hot cars, unfair vending machines that steal your money, irresponsible car owners, delinquent kids and crazy shop owners who are easily spooked and are quick to broom waving and shouting nonsense.
Hell, even our street performers are endangered. Yep it’s Hard Times for our Late Night Mimes….can someone please think of the mimes!
Yep, if I have learned anything from this movie…and I haven’t…it’s that sometimes you have to lose to win. Well I lost…where is my win?
WHERE IS MY WIN SCOTT! WHERE!
Look, I’m just going to vamp out loud for a minute…vamp out loud…vamp’ing… alright, let’s see If I can understand this film..warning. I’m gonna use some air quotes.
“Eternal Vampire Teen;” LeStat is awakened from his “Sad Nap” when the suburban kids next door start a nu-metal band to piss off their parents. LeStat “tries out” for the band and lands “lead vocals.” Ow. Finger cramps.
LeStat finds some success as a rocker and “Taylor Swifts” (ow) his Vampire Family. (Now that’s a shaming!)
Meanwhile, “Grown ass” teenager, Jesse rebels against her strict orthodox parents by pursuing Bad Boy LeStat after she reads LeStat’s personal diary outlining his failures in love including a cringe worthy moment with his Egyptian Grandma and his subsequent loneliness. Jesse is all like… “I’m lonely too! You get me LeStat! Let’s run away together and live happily ever after!”
At this point I took my own “Sad Nap” and when I woke up Great Great Grandma Vampire was turning to dust which is what happens when you sleep with your Grandkids.
So I thought the movie was over…but apparently, LeStat still had to confront his girlfriend’s father figure to confess he gave Jesse VD. “Vampire Disease.”
But even that wasn’t the end because Lestat still wanted to make up for his misdeeds by delivering Jesse’s dad a Vampire “Life Partner”… who David had apparently been stalking through “Instagram” like painting which weren’t even a thing in 2002 so this whole theory is kind of falling apart at this point. Randy!