INTRO Oh hi, Yes? yes, this is Sarge…What am I doing? right now? Oh Nothing much, Just sitting here shirtless in front of my computer shopping for shirts that I will most likely outgrow in a month. What’s that? Semper Fi, Shop or Die? oh yes…very clever sir. So, what Read more…
INTRO Oh hi, Look, no intro that I could write imo would be funnier than us live sacking the Time-Life Books “The Old West” Commercial from the 80s. Scott, Roll that beautiful bean footage. Hmmm, well apparently I was wrong. Maybe I should have went with a “where are they Read more…
INTRO Oh hi, What’s that? Do I have a scary story to tell around the campfire after a long day of being clueless college students on a rampage of ignorance, sexual desires and general tom foolery all in the name of Nuguet? Why Yes…yes I do. Here then, let me Read more…
INTRO Oh hi, and welcome volunteer suckers….err…sackers. This week you may have made the bad life choice of agreeing to follow us into battle against Michael Bay’s 3 hour epic love story meets shoot ’em up meets I need another cup of coffee so I can stay awake until one Read more…
Movie Sergeant Dunaway here, your Senior
Sack Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy mouth holes will be “Huh!”
Do you basic grubs understand that?
Also, I can’t hear you. Sound off like you watched this weeks movie and enjoyed it.
Johnson, your new name is Grossman. Cause you think stuff’s gross. Good job.
Ibbott, I’m gonna call you Boris …cause you do a really funny Russian accent and also because you are a little squirrelly. Like moose and squirrel. Say the thing!
Jordan, you will now answer to Dicks…because that one time you made me laugh when you said something about a bag of dicks.
Now choke yourself. That’s it….ahhhh yeah.
Dicks, tell us about your job this week.
“Local South African dance choreographer and ass blaster impersonator Chance Naidoo here.
Please step back white people. I am about to blow your collective minds as I light my ass on fire and rocket skyward as if….well… as if my ass were on fire. Be envious as I do those really sweet vertical leaps using only my crazy strong calf muscles…yes…just like in National Geographic.
Uh oh. Things have gone horribly wrong! It appears instead of lighting the fuse to my home made phosphorus device… which I have stuck in my bum… I have mistakenly lit my penis on fire. Which I sometimes refer to as my “Graboid.” Damn these authentic South African Tribal Dance Attire and their crotchless fashion sense.”
Said no South African ever. Always be running.