Film Sack

Full Metal Jacket (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Movie Sergeant Dunaway here, your Senior
Sack Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy mouth holes will be “Huh!”

Do you basic grubs understand that?

(Huh) Exactly.

Also, I can’t hear you. Sound off like you watched this weeks movie and enjoyed it.

Johnson, your new name is Grossman. Cause you think stuff’s gross. Good job.

Ibbott, I’m gonna call you Boris …cause you do a really funny Russian accent and also  because you are a little squirrelly. Like moose and squirrel. Say the thing!

Jordan, you will now answer to  Dicks…because that one time you made me laugh when you said something about a bag of dicks.

Now choke yourself. That’s it….ahhhh yeah.

Dicks, tell us about your job this week.

 

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Film Sack

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

“Local South African dance choreographer and ass blaster impersonator Chance Naidoo here.

Please step back white people. I am about to blow your collective minds as I light my ass on fire and rocket skyward as if….well… as if my ass were on fire. Be envious as I do those really sweet vertical leaps using only my crazy strong calf muscles…yes…just like in National Geographic.

Uh oh. Things have gone horribly wrong! It appears instead of lighting the fuse to my home made phosphorus device… which I have stuck in my bum… I have mistakenly lit my penis on fire. Which I sometimes refer to as my “Graboid.” Damn these authentic South African Tribal Dance Attire and their crotchless fashion sense.”

Said no South African ever. Always be running.

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Film Sack

Heat (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

How you doing? What do you say I buy you guys a cup of coffee. Perhaps talk about our careers and poor life choices?

What’s that Randy? Additionally you want a slice of pie? and instead of black coffee you want a  Cappuccino? Yeah…that’s not going to happen. Now drink your cold nasty drip coffee swill and shudd’up.

Huh Scott? A guy once told you “don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat… if you feel the heat around the corner.” Well…I believe they call that podfading Scott and I was the guy!

What Ibbott?! Something about a woman’s ass…

Alright, I think we’re done here. Who’s got the check? No I don’t have facebook messenger. Split bill pay…it’s 1995 ya goon all I got is this here beeper that ruins marriages.

 

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Film Sack

V for Vendetta (2005) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on F for Filmsack we tackle The Wa-chow-skis’ 2005 foreign film B for Bollocks.

Fine… it was V for Vendetta. A film, to the best of my understanding, about the letter V.

I mean not since that infamous episode of Sesame Street where Cookie Monster smoked a J and confused Ernie for a life sized Milano have I seen such overbaked ideas expressed on screen.

“Oh Sweet hairy topped cookie…nom nom nom” – Cookie Monster

“Hey Bert. A little help…*snicker*” – Ernie

Yep just a Big Ole Bag of Bollocks.

I now yield my remaining time to Randy.

 

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