Listen…as a fellow Bounty Hunter of Souls and Burning Skull Brother….are you thinking what I’m thinking….Bonehead Road Trip! High Five!
Ok, so I’ve plugged the route into the GPS of the damned and it says Hell on Earth is a mere 666 miles from here… hmmm..I thought we were already in Texas…Anywho, Flame on! Oh! Mustache Fire..Puh puh. I’m good..I’m good…let’s roll!
Alright, so I was thinking when we get there we should stick to the shadows because you will “face off” with some demons and as we all know; demons are notoriously night blind. So we should flame off when we get there. But heads up. I can’t flame on again because I flamed on for the last time for this Boneheaded Road Trip.
What’s that? Why didn’t I just ride with you and save my final flame on to help you fight the demons instead. Hmm…well that would have been smart…but we don’t have the budget for smart. No I don’t want any Jellies. Now get off your handlebars. No, that’s not how legends are born.
I should have just stayed home and tended my cemetery.
Ghost Rider (2007) – I’m gonna own this curse and watch it again. This is how Legends Are Born. #Hellementals
- That guy’s skull is on fire
- It’s said that the West was built on Legends, tall tales that help us make sense of things too great or too terrifying to believe. This is the legend of….
- Every generation has one. Collecting on the devil’s deals.
- Worth 1000 evil souls!!
- See ya chump! I’m out! on my burning horse!
- The thing about Legends is…sometimes….they are true!
- The Amazing, Blazing.. [Rock Music]
- Barton and Johnny Blaze
- Huh, hotshot…huh…huh…cough cough. Hotshot…Wheelchair.
- What! Roxie is leaving…but she just got here!
- Wait..Barton Blaze…his dad’s name is Barton Blaze…aight.
- Everybody in this movie has a younger self.
- Smokes gonna kill ya! What kind of shit sends someone a letter telling them they have terminal lung cancer.
- Greatest show on earth? What you want Barnum?
- One devil of a shadow.
- Don’t worry about the how? Always worry about the how!
- Take my soul? Get out mister.
- Gimmie that goat pen!
- That is not how contracts work…well..maybe with the devil.
- You don’t sound healthy as a horse…how long do you get to be healthy as a horse? Oh…not long eh…deal with the devil get the horns.
- Meanwhile…at the crossroads…Why does the devil like the crossroads?
- Punch the devil!
- I don’t want to forget about friends, family and love! What about Pizza? Can I remember Pizza?
- I’m cursed baby…it’s raining outside and I’m cursed.
- Johnny Blaze did not age well.
- “You can’t live in fear.” CRAZY TRAIN
- Forget about love…but sex…you can have all of that.
- holy poop hounds…that looked painful. Off the rails of the crazy train indeed.
- Ozzy…now ZZ Top…
- Welcome to Texas? Why is he going to hell already.
- The Johnny Blaze video game.
- Alcohol gives me nightmares…but Jelly Beans?…yummy
- Howler Monkey special on Discovery channel…Blaze is the only one… Put on the Monkey Show.
- Length of a football field.
- Mack has a dog named lucky.
- Rain to Fire! Typical Texas weather.
- You never want to go to a border town bar at midnight.
- Angels only…Hell’s angels….finger to the chest…slurp.
- Isn’t that the actor who played baby johnny?
- Now we are onto the Carpenters…
- No lock on the lift?
- Johnny Blaze finds chimps fascinating.
- Are there only red and yellow jellies?
- Promise you will take the cars out.
- What crappy cable does GhostRider have? Martial Art Chimps…and old school skeleton cartoons.
- Bad guy can smell fear. Looking for Gressil Earth. Wallow…so the 3 elements…Wind is here…Abigor.
- Take over the world… Mephistopheles…don’t say that name
- Johnny Blaze Leap of death! No cars…screw it no cars…
- So on the outside everyone is rock….in Johnny’s head it’s Carpenters.
- Coffee from the pot.
- “You can’t live in fear.”
- 300 feet!
- Johnny watches a lot of TV
- 20 years after Barton’s death…
- Roxanne Roxanne…I wanna be your man.
- Roxanne don’t like watching him jump
- Roxanne is the sign…she didn’t get married.
- No cars…Helicopters
- Helicopters cause my dad thought it would be cool.
- enough NOS to make it…scurch!
- George Thorogooof
- Stuart is a goober.
- Howdy…Howdy Howdy Howdy
- Eye-Talian…You still like Eye-Talian
- She’s a lady of chance…shake the 8-ball.
- Face my rider!
- Johnny gonna stand Roxie up. Not a good plan. Face my rider.
- Now we need you to point. Good pointing!
- Find the one known as BlackHeart
- Burning Asphalt
- Welcome to Texas
- Things burst into flames when the Rider Passes by.
- The cemetery is a train yard now.
- Saint Michael’s church has taken the bodies.
- From rock to Gothic music
- Burning makes me laugh! Muhahahah
- Slow clap…way to burst into flames.
- The kid’s name is BlackHeart
- Thanks for the chain.
- Dirt Bag..is he the dirt guy? clever
- Sorry, all out of mercy
- Bone daddy needs to convert his bike to bone bike.
- Look into my eyes…see your sin…feel the pain.
- Is that dude still alive?
- That bike does’t growl as much as it snorts
- It’s exhausting being the rider. and thirsty work.
- He drove to dad’s grave.
- Morning Bonehead.
- Carter Slade tombstone
- Broken Spoke biker bar.
- The Rider is the Devil’s Bounty Hunter sent to track down anyone who has escaped from hell.
- Normal by day…Rider by night.
- The Penance Stare…the rider’s greatest weapon.
- The Hidden – Fallen Angels hiding in the elements waiting for apocalypse
- Amy…from Pitch Perfect.
- Roxanne Simpson…
- You are just a Carny…
- That time Nick Cage was ripped.
- End of Days…we need to watch that.
- The Host can gain control of the possession spirit through concentration of the fire element within man.
- Books in movies that are odd will sometimes be read backwards.
- Neighbor Bill with the Hibachi…it smells like fire.
- You wouldn’t believe me…Tell me…I can take it…no…I can’t take it.
- Jack Dolan and Officer Edwards
- He watches a lot of TV.
- He wants to be a motorcycle policeman.
- Don’t put him in with baddies!
- Man…those Texas prisoners are real shits
- He kind of does the hulk scream.
- You’re locked in here with me.
- Hallowed ground…not in that church.
- Hold it…let me baton you to the jaw – cop
- Rage! Garage
- “Raise no more devils than you can lay down.” old saying
- Suck it coppers! I can tread water
- “The suspect is going up….”
- The Yee-Haw was probably unnecessary
- You can not catch the wind….unless the wind is stupid enough to stay stationary.
- You don’t watch TV? What’s the matter with you Sam Elliot!
- He was a Texas Ranger…but got greedy…waiting on the gallows. Traded freedom for the soul.
- I don’t think a Dare Devil would suffer his public image by being arrested.
- They killed his buddy MACK!
- No soul to burn…Penance stare
- You sold your soul for love…the right reason
- What! 2 Riders! Can you keep up for one last ride?
- He could only change one more time. Riders always looking for a second chance.
- You mean he wasted his last chance on a road trip with Blaze Cage and why did he change back!
- Why you ride in the water..knowing you got to fight the water demon. Boiled him
- You broke your deal rider
- Dirt fire ball to the back.
- ouch..back breaker
- souls of 1000
- Oh wait…I didn’t know you were going to all enter me! I take it back…forget the contract.
- Uh oh…his name is Legion…that is the end
- He couldn’t beat him when he was 1…how he gonna beat him as 1000 in 1
- uh oh…them souls are reconstituting
- don’t watch…do the thing.
- Souls to burn…like a starter log..feel their pain.
- I’m gonna own this curse…The Spirit of Vengeance. Part 2
- They ended up back at the same tree they started their love?
- This is how Legends Are Born.
- These credits are fire!
International Double Crossing, Murder and Mayhem hotline, how may we help you heap cold dishes of revenge upon your enemies sometime in the distant future after some elaborate possibly unnecessary scheming that involves plastic surgery, betrayal and ninjas….today? oh man…we really need to shorter our corporate phone greeting. Hello, are you there?
Right. Uh huh. Sure, we just happen to have a guy that specializes in heisting horse dolls made of gold. Oh sorry, horsey action figures. How much? Well, in addition to the base cost of your eternal soul and happiness we will be needing payment in the form of briefcases full of cash with whatever weird ass twist of a tip of your choosing.
What do I suggest as a good tip? Well, tell me what you have in mind and I’ll give you some feedback. Right…uh huh…sure…sure…I see what you are going for there. But in addition to having it delivered by a lady in a black dress…how about she says “Here’s your money honey” drops the briefcase and then strips down to her itty bitty bottoms, turns and walks away never to be seen or heard from again. Oh yeah..I like that…it sounds totally unnecessary and we love that shit around here. Ok, I think I have everything we need here. Talk to you in 3 years. Bye
Oh man…what an exciting phone call. phew…time to address my oral fixation..Smoke ’em if you got ’em!
War (2007) – Like
- Bloody Violence!
- That was fast…Does Jenny know? Cigarettes!
- It is your oral fixation…
- shot gun credits
- 462 days of no lost time?
- Oh..they are in a serious situation…not just a couple of guys at a bus stop.
- Quick cuts are us.
- I am Jason Stathom…and I see things.
- FBI…nooo…back up is on the way Tom
- Geez is this a Woo film? woooo
- Man in the shadows is ninja gunman.
- Even in the light he is in the shadows
- Took one to the face…I got him.
- Triads…Yakuza…and so forth…bullshit story…Rogue is a phantom…
- Foreshadowing…you never know who is working for whom…
- Drinking and driving?
- Game day…don’t forget the steaks. He forgot the steaks…it happened that one time again. He forgot the stakes of working for the FBI as well
- Oh man…the Rogue really took that face shooting personal. Shot him in the face..and then made him watch him kill his wife and kids first and then burnt the house down. Geez Rogue Phantom
- The rogue is roguish except for the titanium bullet shells…that he just leaves like a calling card.
- 3 years later…San Fran..
- Black Light Boobies and Butt…hey hey hey hey…uh huh huh.
- Killed them guards with his creadit card…platinum
- Sure are a lot of skinny butt ladies in this movie
- send in the dobermans. ohno!!
- Tattoos for shirts.
- Rogue is merciless…killed that poor doge with a bomb
- Do you know what Shiro does to traitors…that’s right…bang to the head.
- Yakuza…rings are kills.
- The old thumb in the bullet hole wound.
- Cop is my day job…doctor is my other job.
- Rogue cost him his marriage…that is a good thing.
- D.U. bullets
- The Rogue cuts his face every 6 months…that is a lot of plastic surgery. What is the average recovery time for that…geez.
- Shiro (Yakuza) killed Chang’s Family (Triads) and sold all of his shit except 2 statuettes that he is trying to sell currently. The Rogue was working for the Yakuza…maybe no so much now.
- He doesn’t care about ancient feuds…
- Closet full of black
- 7412…terrible code.
- That’s my wife Maria…she is not a horse
- These two are the Ti brothers…
- Careful…don’t leave your ear unguarded
- So did he get his ear reattached? or will that guy be our chick in the bucket
- Don’t fail me daughter
- Meanwhile, in Chinatown
- No Benny’s here…wrong answer.
- Interpol is down in ChinaTown.
- Plastic surgeons dropping like loose skin off an old person
- The horses are not real horses…they are cars? ohhh…that is all a ruse
- This music is pretty generic…sound machine.
- Never pay your extortion money up front.
- Oh…they are horses…DON’T TOUCH THE HORSES Ti!
- Ok…I want your to take the guy his money…and then take off your tiny black dress and walk away. You did great!
- Sniper gun down the ventilation shaft…out of sight out of mind.
- Agent Wick says “Hold on Motherf’er”…this mofo is out
- Which way down is faster…this way!
- Your stupidity insults my father
- 14 hour flight…need me a salad…chef salad…no blue cheese punk
- Pain, Rage Loneliness.
- Warehouse 16…you know the one
- The eyes…the one thing the surgeons can’t change…but a pair of color contacts and some make up could.
- “You will find only pain living in the past.”
- What a 2007 looking hone.
- I am still having trouble trying to figure out if the horses are an alliteration or not and if so…for what.
- “Chasing Ghosts” that would have been a better movie title.
- I don’t think you should be angry shooting at paper targets
- Rogue has a thing for Maria?
- Now you see my gun…now you don’t
- What! I just realized that is Catalina from My Name is Earl
- Triads hanging out at the local pizza and beer joint being angry.
- Sure…I could hit you with a stick…but a burning stick!! Yeah!
- Rogue just stirring up shit…so he can chase down the younger Joey Ti brother.
- Tube fight! Tubes!
- Uh oh…the Rookie is so dead.
- Chang can not be shook. That is how he survives
- Some strong smoking message here?
- Spyker vroom.
- “Now that is some spicy tuna…” hahaha jokes!
- Stathom muscle car. All beef. Rogue is all class
- oh no…not the muscle car!
- Goi is right there! He ain’t the shooter!
- This take down is going bad
- Things I learned…don’t kill Stathom’s partners…he don’t like it.
- “In Japan…you would be dead”
- Jet Li’s “Eat Shit While Driving” is a lot of fun.
- Stathom is all beef and anger
- his name is Wu Ti – WOOOOTEEE
- Rogue is still working for Shiro
- That’s the order…there is no why
- “I have no master”
- He just ghost knifed ya…his other job is street magician.
- he used to work for the CIA commissions to do surgery
- If Rogue is in here…then who is the ninja outside!
- Wu Ti doesn’t know about the gun under the desk.
- Haha…poor Wu Ti…he took a lot of bullets
- Never a good sign when a ninja is running away
- You never leave the children to live after you kill their dad! That is classic for a revenge story 20 years later.
- Rogue is a myth…a rumor.
- Rogue does all the smooth things but forgets about FBI surveillance?
- I got this one bullet that I worship…
- Now it is time for your reward…that’s right…
- See he gets it…remove all future threats.
- “Angry face” and ” who gives a shit face”
- You just knew them horses were going to be fake.
- Too slow Rogue
- You ordered the hit
- I ordered many hits. I ordered the greatest hits.
- You always leave the wife and daughter alone.
- Ha! …Double Ha! Great ending
- Tom Lone. Changing your face…Your voice…
- Pain can be a weapon if you choose.
- Crawford is the bad guy!
- What what what! Unpossible
- What’s in the box? Whats in the boooox?
- Why wouldn’t he recognize his partners eyes?
- Jet Li talks funny when he is being choked.
- Twisty Twist Twist…is he dead! oh come on.
Ok Brian…don’t overthink that polar bear ending…it’s just a to let the audience know that life on the surface is possible after the big freeze and that our train survivors will be able to carry on like some kind of humanity engine. ok good…done….now I can stop thinking about it…
But….what if the bear represents something more…no…don’t think about it!….. But what if it…what if it is Minsoo’s spirit leading his daughter and her eventual lover to safety like some kind of spirit engine for humanity. Choo Choo Minsoo
Shutup brain! Wear your shoe and shutup! but what about that catfish and axe gang…what was up with them and that catfish? All adding up to THERE WILL BE NO SLEEP TONIGHT!
Snowpiercer (2013) – This movie is size 10 Chaos and after 30 minutes in I wish I had upgraded my ticket to first class instead of protein block and baby tastes best caboose. Choo Choo
We precious few
Train is world. The World is tubular.
I will trade you ball for an hour for food bar.
How far back can you remember?
I am the shadow of my former shadow.
Wellness check. Time for measurements. from the yellow coat.
This ladies feet has a fro!
They just gave him the Flav vor flave.
The 7 minute speech…7 minutes of arm out of the train hole.
This is not a shoe…it is size 10 chaos
Your station on the train was determined by your original ticket
Would you wear a shoe on your head? A hat belongs on your head.
It looks like Mr. Gilliam has seen his fair share of the train hole.
CHICKEN….CHICKEN!! PROTEIN BLOCK BULLSHIT…CHICKEN
Scary tiny monkey man killed the giant troll mna
Chrono man…so they put prisoner a drug induced coma?
1 lump of chrono for 1 door.
Things that no longer exist are extinct…like cigarettes
Protein Blocks. Paul has been alone…and in the zone. Paul is a burnout.
I would totally eat bug protein …better than I thought…I thought it was going to be kids or people.
17 on earth…17 on the tail section. 17 years
The hood gang…axes up front. pikemen in teht back.
The Catfish gang? Axefish?
Axes are not extinct
Oh no…almost done in by a wet fish on the floor.
18 years old today…sucking at Willard’s titties.
74% of you are going to die.
Tunnel! nooo..it’s dark
What happened to his arm?
Cut out Willards tongue? He is the devil.
Where did Curtis keep that protein block he served Swinton at the Sushi Bar?
1000 people in an iron box. They were cannibals after a month.
I know what people taste like…I know babies taste best.
I sure hope that translator caught all of that story.
measure lady…she measures shit
There is only enough space for a very small person.
He finally sacrificed his arm.
That Polar bear is totally going to eat them.
Question One: What secret in the Wachowski’s 2012 movie adapted from a book would be worth killing 3 hour for?
Question Two: Is it reasonable to believe that this movie would not require me to turn on Closed Caption on Netflix to unlock that secret…a secret that is perhaps hidden in the True True language? maybe so…maybe no…and if so…
Question Three: What in the F…. name of Old Georgie hisself am I doing here?
Uh oh. Hold on a second guys…Who comes a rapping at my high rise apartment chamber door?….oh hi… Hey, listen guys…it’s the Wachowskis! They are banging trays and I do believe they intend to throw me off the balcony for what I done said about their movies over the year. I Gotta go….Speed Racer suuuuucked!
Cloud Atlas (2012) – Like being slowly poisoned by a toothy Tom Hanks. Will the suffering never end!! Yay it’s over. Let’s watch it again!!
- Don’t start your movie with jibberish.
- Closed Caption it is.
- Question One: What Secret? Question Two: and if so…question 3…what the F am I doing here?
- Civilized folk are hot because they are wearing 3 layers of wool and cotton.
- It’s too hot for a whipping.
- He passed out from worms?
- “A tiger cannot change his stripes.”
- The night of the Lemon Prizes
- Let me get your attention by banging these trays together.
- Woah…Finch is flying.
- Found it . The thread to follow is not the actors but the stories that inspire (The Atlas?). Starting with Adam Ewing’s journal (only half) that is passed onto Robert Frobisher and then the letters he wrote to his lover are passed onto Luisa Rey (only parts and she hears the Cloud Atlas in the record store) her life is chronicled by her child neighbor (Jonas) in a story titled Half-Lives (A Lousisa Rey Mystery) which is read on the train by Cavendish (partially?) Cavendish life is portrayed by an actor (Hanks) in a film after Cavendish’s death and viewed in part by Sonmi-451. Sonmi goes on to inspire revolution and her words are echoed in the Teachings that Zachary learns but only in part.
- Zachary mentions in the beginning his first meeting with Old Georgie eye to eye (the temptation Adam Ewing)
- The Actor/Characters as they play to each period’s roles and how they respond and are influenced. Love and inspiration can travel through each period. Characters can have love affairs that last beyond a period of life.