This week on FilmSack we put on something sexy, Lies to our wives about our True day jobs and send our body doubles out of the house and right into our mobile podcasting spy van with Tom (Arnold-Arnold) Schwarzenegger to take out this beloved Action Comedy from 1994 before it terrorizes more streaming services. Wait…dry hair and fluffy ruffles aren’t sexy? Says who…Hallway Robert Palmer Makeover!….bam…Simply Irresistible
Anywho, Excuse me fellas while I Macaulay Culkin my wife with this prerecorded tape of French Man Patrick Beja making with the sexy phrases like “Stop Looking at me” and “Oh god, don’t eat whatever that is that you just picked up off the hotel room floor” (gross) and “Oh no sorry about lubbing up the bed post before you got here..I’m a dirty boy.”
Tango? We don’t have time to Tango Randy. Ok…I’ll just hang here. get some for me.
1994 ‧ Action/Comedy ‧ 2h 24m
Secretly a spy but thought by his family to be a dull salesman, Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is tracking down nuclear missiles in the possession of Islamic jihadist Aziz (Art Malik). Harry’s mission is complicated when he realizes his neglected wife, Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis), is contemplating an affair with Simon (Bill Paxton), a used-car salesman who claims he’s a spy. When Aziz kidnaps Harry and Helen, the secret agent must save the world and patch up his marriage at the same time.
Rotten Tomatoes https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/true_lies
WHERE TO WATCH
Still Streaming As of Nov 4th, 2022 – Records On : Nov 5th, 2022
Subs (Filmsack preferred)
MORE Options – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/true-lies
No Time? Watch Highlight CLIPS instead
True Lies (1994) – Like when your lies are detailed and boring and your intelligence is Tom Arnold in a van. #ImNavelLint
- True Oxymoron Lies
- Rated R Mature Audiences? I ain’t got none of that!
- James Cameron! Arnold! Is this T3…nooo…True Lies
- Somebody get out the Kincaid colors.
- Meanwhile on Lake Chapeau, Switzerland Oct 19, 1994 a Black Tie Affair
- Next up…Ernest Goes to Jail
- Time to turn on them subtitties.
- Tom Arnold Schwarzenegger
- They speak de German.
- This house has an underwater gate…that is really gated.
- James Cameron…so you know it is going to look good…damn 4K remaster.
- Wet Arnold in a squeaky dive suit.
- Fur Coat Razor Blade and a bunch of Guys with Guns.
- When your intelligence is Tom Arnold in a van…
- “How come Billionaires are always short?” Arnie
- His shoes are squeaky still.
- Just a well dressed Spider Man.
- A Windows Machine…why did it have to be Windows
- He speaks all the languages.
- Tango? You don’t have time to Tango.
- Sure…here is my invitation…EXPLOSIONS HAPPEN
- It’s called ice and it gets a little slick.
- So far this is following the James Bond cliches of openings…but with more action.
- That is not Arnold coming down that hill…you showed me too much…
- Maybe this version is a little too high definition.
- He is a bad dad and husband…thank goodness for his handler.
- Sleep fast buddy.
- Gizmo the dog.
- They think he is a Salesman who went to a convention..he sells computers.
- Boy, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.
- Her parents are Axle Rose and Madonna
- Janice has trust issues.
- Omega Sector … the final line of defense.
- One Eyed Heston.
- A total pooch screw on the other.
- So far this is not blowing my skirt up gentlemen. Nothing you would call solid…limp actually.
- A total biscuit
- So she must not have been informed on his explosive exit.
- He is totally going to have to fight those guys.
- She is more like him than his wife.
- Scan my tuna sandwich for bugs.
- It is a good thing you are paying me a lot of money… how much for 1 slap… 2 slaps!
- It’s his birthday! This time you can count on me…trust me.
- Dog licking my cream…no way man.
- Cigarette Cam…put on my shades and overcoat and strike up a stogy. Just trying to get a closer look at Beavis and Butthead.
- Terrorist do not respect my schedules
- Just a guy on the shitter…
- Are they playing 9to5? This music in the bathroom is very 9to5
- Beat to death with a hand dryer and flushed.
- Receding Curly Hair Terrorist is the angriest of terrorist.
- My god…how slow is Tom Arnold
- Motorcycle vs Horse…bike wins.
- My horse is getting tired…probably from carry my big ass.
- He is always so polite. Sorry, Excuse me.
- That is a fine animal you have in that elevator….how much does a horse weigh?
- Dude…that Terrorist is way more badass than you to Evel Knievel over to the rooftop pool….yeah…that horse is like hell nah.
- Crimson….why Sand Spider…probably because it sounds scary.
- So Randy, you just want me to hang. Ok. I’ll just hang. Get a little bit for me while you are at it?
- Lies are detailed and boring.
- Uh oh..Paxton is on the wrong side of this affair.
- He has turned his skills towards his family..that ain’t going to end well.
- Just walking my tiny dog in the rain.
- Looks like she is going into ChinaTown
- We say Op
- This guy is a used car salesman.
- What are we talking about here … Pussy Right…The Vet gets ’em wet.
- Not just the skanks either…some are.
- If they took care of business I would be out of business
- They can suck start a leaf blower.
- Honda Civic Driving wife
- It’s awkward for me too.
- If not for me…do it for your country.
- I needed something. I needed to feel alive. I needed to do something outrageous. To be needed and trusted and to be special.
- Even with a voice modulator you would totally recognize Arnold
- Work for us or else.
- Noris and Natasha…no Doris.
- I’m a complete coward if I ever saw a gun….I’m navel lint..I don’t score much and I got a little dick..it is pathetic.
- Eliza Dusku! I just saw it! Dang…you are old.
- Pick up an envelope …and dress sexy….not like that.
- He likes to watch and Tom Arnold is going to hell
- Get these ruffles off of me! Time to sexy it up…slick back that hair and look like I’m Simply Irresistible! She so fine…make a body sweat?
- He is Macaulay Culkin’ing his wife with the prerecorded tape.
- hehe…he had the french guy talk the sexy…now it makes sense why it was so uncomfortable.
- Randy…Now Dance for me…no no…Dance Sexy…
- This scene blew my mind back in the day…Jamie Curtis got fit for this movie.
- and the laughs she got when she fell from the bed post…but her licking her finger and bedpost killed me.
- Tapes do not work like that…
- This is how you come out to me as an agent…our marriage has been a lie and this is how you tell me…you trick me into it.
- She knows them moves…beat him with his own room phone.
- We stole these ..they are priceless…pity…we had to put a nuke in it.
- I know what this is…it is an espresso machine…no…it’s a sno-cone maker…is it a water heater?
- The Crimson Jihad.
- What can I say…I’m a Spy.
- Low Batt…uh oh…better keep pretending…Get another one you Moron.
- Always the “weird shaped torture tools.”
- Married for 15 years.
- I will return when this takes effect.
- You are damaged goods lady.
- Sodium Amytal – Truth Agent
- 17 years a spy
- First I am going to use you as a human shield. Then I’m going to kill the guard over there with the Patterson trocar on the table. Then I was thinking about breaking your neck.
- Next time duck.
- I married Rambo
- Cracking necks like a bad chiropractor.
- There is always the big guy.
- shooooot. She kilt them all. They were all bad. They shouldn’t have all stood in a line.
- Use the Flame thrower!!
- She has a mean right hook.
- Suzy Homemaker.
- They going to just let that nuclear fallout happen? Pour more concrete on it! Like a lots more.
- A brightboy alert…put me through to the WhiteHouse. 12 Miles radius.
- In hot with guns…lets get some.
- oops…appears firing that in a truck is a bad idea
- That’s a negative…”makes face like…I dunno.
- That one truck driver is hilarious with the faces and the screaming…also that truck was explosive.
- Terrorist driver is a very hazardous job.
- That backseat limo fight though…nice..
- The Bridge is out!!
- son of a beach…grab her already!!
- This movie should be over…but there is still 21 minutes left.
- Do not look at the Flash..
- Tsk Tsk…this is the wrong finger.
- Our kiss is atomic….and now we all have cancer. Bye!
- They got a hostage…my daughter..what the hell.
- Excuse me…I’m taking your high tech jet….
- We got a guy on the inside…who dat?
- Trademark Tasker Takeoff….we might want to seek shelter.
- ooohh…it is curly haired teammate
- I…we…are all prepared to die. What key?
- Like father like daughter…who has the key…
- Camera Gun. Let me shoot you.
- No way you Wacko.
- Harrier…that is a lot of Arnold in your face.
- I can’t believe my terrorist eyes…is that the guy…pew pew pew.
- Catch her with the helicopter…burrrrr
- fires wildly into the air. Jump…Daddy will catch you. Daddy don’t you let me fall…
- This Terrorist guy does not give up.
- Tail Fin to the crotch.
- OMG…they should call him the luckiest terrorist…until then..Your luck ran out…
- Which agency…we don’t talk about it.
- One Year Later…the toxic lies
- Playing Thumb War with Arnold…terrible idea.
- Noris and Doris.
- Always tell the colonel it is good to see him again.
- Paxton Piss Pants. Fear is not an option. Were they actually on a mission or were they just fooking around with Bill Paxton.
- Uh no…it is the Tango…Harry…Helen.
- Don’t ignore me Randy, that’s rude. National security guys.
- I’ve been in the van for 15 years Harry….so it was one year later…so they were married for 16 years and he had been with the agency for 18 years.