Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Hook (1991) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

This week on FilmHook we fly away to a magical land of thud butts, friend zoned fairies and whatever the hell that is on Dustin Hoffman’s face. second star to the right, and straight on till I’m snoring.

Oh no…I’m losing my happy thought! Randy’s Beard, Scott’s Anti Glare Glasses, Ibbott’s Naked Head…ahh…there it is…yes! I’m flying!

Higher…we need to go higher! It’s the early 90s and it’s the time of flip phones and jaded dreams! But we need to go higher! Quick, set up another line of “pixie dust” on Ibbott’s smooth noggin! *Snort…..Cock a doodle…. don’t do drugs…

Woah…hold on…I just had an apostophe….Saving Tink is the one thing that Hook could never do. Noooo falling! woe is Smeeee

LINKS

https://www imdb.com/title/tt0102057/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hook_(film)

TWITTER

Hook (1991) – Like a Peter Pan face massage by a lost boy name pockets. Is that a peter in your pocket hand or are you just glad to see me. Wait? That wasn’t pockets…it was a Lost Boy called too small? That’s what Tink said.

SHOW NOTES

  • This is how you look in the audience
  • I wasn’t crying!
  • Oh really…Cell phone during your daughters play in the gym!
  • Bad dad…Too busy to be good dad
  • These cell phones are like pistols. Draw!
  • Remember…Don’t let your arms get tired.
  • Please not a curveball
  • Why is santa playing umpire.
  • Happy piano play music to open.
  • Missed his son’s game
  • Look what Jack drew….you got no parachute.
  • He don’t like to fly.
  • Grow up Jack! Stop tossing that ball and chewing that gum!
  • We are in England…land of good manners
  • It’s been 10 years between visits Peter!
  • Congrats on your orphan hospital..
  • No growing up in this house…stop this instance
  • Gremlins music.
  • Peter has become a pirate!
  • Owls fornicating….
  • Cell phone to the snow! Noooo
  • We keep the windows closed at home. Barred even
  • Lawyer jokes…
  • The lost boys are found. Orphans are in common.
  • Dog is saying Hook! Hook…Hook.
  • Phil Collins!
  • Peter was 12 or 13
  • Tinker Bell has got that smell for Peter
  • Time to sprinkle some dust and carry Peter far away
  • Follow that hook. “Hook hook…give us the hook”
  • He’s only got one hand. So let’s give him a hand.
  • Clapping is the only way to revive a fairy
  • Every time you deny a fairy one falls to the ground and dies
  • Hook seeks revenge.
  • Peter cut off Hooks hand and fed it to the crocodile who swallowed a clock and chased down
  • Who bet against me? This guy…put him in the boo box.
  • Peter Panning…You are Peter…
  • My worthy opponent
  • Peter…pick up your weapon…not your checkbook!
  • Fly…just think your happy thoughts.
  • I want my war!
  • Mortal Combat…Glory
  • Give me a week! to train him. 2 days! 4 days min for a decent pan…3 days
  • Smee has to translate for hook to the crew.
  • Gross…mermaid recycled air!
  • No amount of clapping will bring back this fairy
  • These lost boys are lost…they need a Pan
  • “Who’s the shrub?”
  • He’s old and fat…old fat grandpa man.
  • Rufio…no..Mr. Skunkhead with moose
  • All grownups are pirates
  • Shot in the nuts…
  • He married the grandaughter.
  • these giant flowers are smelling me!
  • oh my…a wall!
  • “Peter Pans got kids!”
  • Can’t crow
  • Peter Pan gets a face massage by the youngest lost boy…there you are!
  • Peter you promised to never grow up!
  • Suicidal Hook…
  • Death is the only great adventure
  • Hook wants the ultimate war
  • “I think I just had an apostrophy”
  • OMG ear wax to curl the mustache
  • The plan is to make the kids love hook.
  • He’ll Crow, He’s Fight and then he’ll fly.
  • One happy thought to make you fly
  • You’re doing it! Using your imagination! Also, all of this food is gross!
  • ThudButt Cheese Butter
  • Coconut Cutter
  • Bang-a-rang
  • That little girl sings real good
  • Raspberry candle blowout
  • There are 3 moons…but they are all the same moon
  • We got to kill these tick tocks.
  • Time is the real enemy
  • Let’s kill time.
  • The two worlds cannot remember each other
  • Bad form. Good form. Master Jack
  • Run Home Jack…Run Home Jack
  • That’s my Jack.
  • That ball traveled a long way…fate it is !
  • I miss Robin Williams so much
  • My shadow does what it wants
  • Me and my shadow
  • Don’t be a Tooley
  • Time to travel further down the rabbit hole
  • Hook burnt your hole when you didn’t come back.
  • A kiss and a thimble…it’s Wendy’s house.
  • Darn’d socks
  • The wind just blew the baby away…
  • Window hopping….
  • Came back for Wendy..always in the Spring.
  • I’ve forgotten how to fly…forgetting
  • Poor tink…don’t kiss the Beetles fan!
  • It’s hard to find happy thoughts in all of the sad thoughts.
  • Happy thought…being a daddy. He wanted to be a daddy.
  • Peter Pan is much better than Rufio Pan
  • You can fly…you can fight…you can crow!
  • Tink lives in a clock.
  • Tink was friend zoned
  • Always be forgetting
  • Tink’s only wish is to be big.
  • I love the hook boat. With the skeleton
  • Hook earring! getting an earring is a coming of age ritual.
  • Everything is a game in NeverLand
  • Give me my daughter then.
  • Swashbuckling
  • Know what my happy thought was…it was you…not my daughter who never betrayed me.
  • Form Ranks!
  • Smee do something intelligent.
  • Smee is me…what about me
  • This movie forgets about girls
  • I like to think this is all going on in one man’s head…the struggle
  • Rufio is Ego
  • I wish I had a dad like you
  • Dad I want to go home!
  • “You need a mother…very very badly.”
  • Death is the only adventure
  • This is only a dream says the hook
  • Gasp! He’s mostly bald.
  • He’s just a mean old man without a mommy.
  • Hook is Neverland
  • Gross…what was in that crocodile…gas
  • Hook is gone…just gone
  • Smee in the end is all about the me.
  • That place between sleep and awake…that is where Tink will be
  • found my phone
  • Jim Hook
  • “What did I tell you about this Window…”
  • Brad is calling
  • Thud Butt 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

GoldenEye (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Hold on just a second. They just delivered my mid 1990s v0ice activated Russian virtual assistant that is programmed to only respond to English performed in bad Russian accents.

Wow, it’s a lot bigger than I thought it would be! It’s like the size of a microwave. In fact…I think it is a microwave. No wonder shipping was like 7000 Rubles. But hey! Hot lunch!

Ok, there is a sticky note attached…”To activate…just ask your stupid American question….slug head…” oh…how rude… “flip note” … “just kidding, we are totally not always listening. Please use the wake word ‘Hey Natalya’ followed by your request.” oh…ok…I think I get it.

Hey Natalya, set timer for 6 minutes. No…I said 6 minutes. 6…minutes… Ok guys, this thing must be broken it keeps setting the timer to 3 minutes. Which is fine for a baked potato but not if you are trying not to burn the Beans, Sean Beans. Shaken but not dead. Oh sorry…wait…and…now he’s dead.

Alright guys, For England…

oh yeah and…“screw you, I said no Odd Job” or something like that.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113189/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GoldenEye


TWITTER

Goldeneye (1995) – Like making your safe word “Xenia, I can’t breath.” Meanwhile in Cuba, unnecessary Crotch shot!

SHOW NOTES

  • Hey is that Remington Steele?
  • Bring on that sweet James Bond Intro!
  • Oh…it’s a quickie…just gun and blood.
  • Dam plane
  • Is that Tom Cruise? He is running like he needs to be Tom Cruise
  • We need some bells shaking for this intense Dam jump…weeee
  • Bungie!
  • Meanwhile at the Chemical weapons shot in the USSR 1995
  • That gun can do everything!
  • Oh yeah…it’s 1995…nobody shits with a newspaper anymore
  • We all wanted Pierce Brosnan to be James Bond…how was his tenure?
  • 006 Sean Bean…shake them bells! For England Alec!
  • He would have been sooner but he had to stop off in the lou!
  • Alec just shot that Russian scientist in the back. Poor Show old man..poor show
  • Alec thinks half of everything is luck…and fate the other half.
  • Set timer for 6 minutes. Is that going to be enough time?
  • The double 0 teamup
  • The Sean Bean kill to death ratio is pretty good.
  • bump to 3 minutes
  • Gee I wonder if they will fake Alec’s death
  • Don’t shoot…you’ll blow the gas tanks.
  • A bum rush would solve this shoot…don’t shoot. Squeek…squeek
  • Geez man…why were those barrels under so much pressure…they came flying out of there.
  • All these poor Russian guys just doing their job at the plant and 007 is just doing his thing.
  • This Russian bad guy is the king of “Wait…let’s just see where this goes…” A little too easy.
  • So which half was luck and which half was fate?
  • Pluck pluck pluck pluck!
  • Ahhh…here we go…the intro. Funky
  • Goldeneye! I hope the bad guy really has a Goldeneye…you just never know with a bond movie.
  • Do I need to listen to the lyrics to predict the story.
  • 2 faced girl! Is she a double agent!?
  • Honey trap…it’s in the song..
  • 9 years later! Why he has hardly aged a day. So that would set the opening scene around 1986…Russia
  • Hey, it’s the next girl…Funky beat…funky beat
  • Scratch that record…weee
  • Can I tell you the number of times I have gotten into a “size of my penis” contest while driving?
  • Those cyclist are lame.
  • Leather seat frolicking and smooching are my least favorite sounds in a movie.
  • France? Countryside?
  • High stakes poker game for them high stakes car drivers…tuxes and fancy dresses
  • Those cards have no numbers or backs!
  • None of these French words sound French. is it French? Italian?
  • Vodka Martini…shaken and not stirred…or straight up with a twist…oh…On A Top!
  • Damnit…mimes! Why does it always have to be open air theater mimes in France!
  • use my monoscope to tack Yatch Manticore! On A Top
  • Note…that helicopter
  • No contact! Don’t do it James
  • Xenia Warrior Princess of the crazy bed lady.
  • Apparently their safe word “Xenia, I can’t breath” was a poor choice….for him!
  • These French workers are very French…
  • odd…she ended up being On A Bottom
  • The electronic Battlefield. The Tiger is Stealth and Hardened against EMP and so forth
  • You know the French and their airforce
  • Meanwhile Space Weapons Russia…a bunch of dogs
  • Select Mir…space station
  • This computer is voice
  • Boris would not know a woman if she came and sat on his head.
  • You know Russians…they like to sit around and use English with heavy Russian accents.
  • They are right in front of you and they can open doors
  • password: Knockers
  • The American’s are slug heads….they will never detect me.
  • You sit on it…but you can’t take it with you…the password. No way…I spiked them.
  • This movie is like one long “That’s what she said” gag.
  • Boris sent them a spike
  • A lot of voice recognition software in Russian in 1995
  • ahhh…Test fire GoldenEye…it’s a weapon then!
  • 2 satellites available
  • Fire the GoldenEye…I am timing you.
  • To fire the Golden Eye you need 2 keys and a UMD disc?
  • She likes killing a little too much.
  • They just hiding the GoldenEye in a space box?
  • Durn Russians and their Nesting Doll Satellite technology
  • Their best response time is 19 minutes..they’ll be late
  • Did she just lick that coffee off the floor! gross!
  • Moneypenny actress is played by Bond…Samantha Bond
  • Sarcasm I would talk to my Children…thank you very much
  • Space based weapon GoldenEye
  • This lady is a cat! 9 Lives and all that.
  • They EMP’d their own place. Also, I don’t think EMP works like that.
  • Natalia…that computer is off.
  • Why is everything trying to kill Natalia!
  • GoldenEye is a nuclear explosion in the upper atmosphere to generate an EMP
  • oh thank God! The puppies are ok!
  • Boris and the girl are alive!
  • Air Bag Phone Booth
  • 3 click explosive pen
  • I promise to buy a lot of IBMs…I just need to test them first
  • Crazy American.
  • Durn drafty churches.
  • Nothing better than Russian interpretation of “Stand By Your Man.”
  • Onnatop spends a lot of time on the thigh master
  • James Bond nap to the back of the neck
  • Where we gonna store all this Soviet stuff?
  • This whole Sean Bean story is twisted around and around.
  • I said 6 minutes! Not 3 minutes
  • haha! Bond saving himself and the girl using his head…literally using his head to eject from the Eurocopter
  • The only way to calm a hysterical lady is with a Bond Hug
  • Bond uses a lot of spray and pray
  • Trust me…this belt will only hold my weight….so long lady
  • Love the Tank Chase! Who else could make that look cool?
  • I think our mid-tier bad guy may have a drinking problem
  • that is one bad ass soviet era train!
  • James Bond and his sneaky tank…how the hell did he get ahead of them?
  • Ramming speed
  • That is always the solution with a train…full speed! Ram him!
  • “Why can’t you just be a good boy and die.”
  • Tastes like strawberries.
  • Arse, Butt, CHAIR
  • Boys with Toys
  • Meanwhile in Cuba. Crotch shot!
  • It took a helicopter to squeeze Onnatop out
  • Hidden Dish
  • This was nominated for special effects? miniatures and reverse video
  • Target is London Baby!
  • It’s all about da money
  • So I know what you are thinking…did I click this pen 3 times or 20?
  • Boris would be a faster coder if he used both hands
  • Did we establish that Bond was a good card counter earlier to imply that he could count the number of pen clicks?
  • “I am invincible!”
  • Apparently nobody ever just wants to kill Bond…they want to talk about killing bond….
  • Killing Sean Bean is not enough…no we have to smash him as well.
  • Yes! I am invincible!

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Dragonheart (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Come, we have a full day ahead of us my half hearted King. We must make haste! To the horses…But first…let me grab my falcon and buzz Malfoy…Caww Caww.. oh that never stops amusing me. Caww hahaha

and now that the whole motley crew of assholes are here… let us ride down to the Peasant Quarry and harass the blind man and any red heads we come across….isn’t that right Mr. Falcon.. those mean old Red Headed Girls always trying to break our hearts…you would never do that would you Mr. Falcon…no you wouldn’t..

Hey, do you guys know what I haven’t done in a while…had a good old hand wrestling match with a smelly peasant. Say, we should do that tonight….when we get back! In fact…I think I will double down and hand wrestle 2 peasants at once. What’s that Malfoy…uh huh..I can so! Wanna bet? Back me up king.

…and now that is your movie right there. No cgi needed.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116136/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonheart

TWITTER

Dragonheart (1996) – Learn the Once-Ways of CGI from the 1990s..It’s not the profit…it’s the pleasure…#Yikes

SHOW NOTES

  • This is not Reign of Fire?!
  • Fight with your head…not your heart.
  • Meanwhile down at the castle ruins…a great battle ensues between a handsome man with good teeth and great hair and a pale kid….ok…maybe not great.
  • Mind if I sit and eat while you fight and I drop some sound bytes.
  • The peasants are revolting!
  • This will stop the horse…a burning pile of sticks.
  • I will take on this knight with this pointy tree branch.
  • Uh oh…I have feeling our hero is grooming the real villain
  • 984 AD
  • Oh…you like fire so much…here…let me burn down your roof.
  • ahhh yeah..Village Justice. Mob rule
  • Father is not here right now…Father is dead…good…Die! It’s mine
  • Oh shit…well that was a lame way for the new king to die….oops…oh…maybe he ain’t dead.
  • Maybe a deal with a witch?
  • Dead. The King is dead…and the prince is a little puss. meow.
  • Witness my fine collection of Dragon Bric-à-brac
  • “Your song is sad”
  • Daughter of the Celts
  • The knight is teaching the old code!
  • The king was the Dragonslayer…
  • Give me your sword knight…
  • Learn the Once-Ways
  • A swear on the deathbed
  • The dragon is just going to give him half of his heart!
  • Hold on a second…just gonna reach in my chest and grab half my heart and…uuuuck….dead
  • I want to rebuild this Roman Ruin. It will take many men…but screw ’em.
  • This kid has a face you can hate just by looking at it.
  • I need me one of them half hearts
  • Burn the insolence out of his eyes!
  • No one is above the code! It’s the code! Damnit! It’s the code…now enjoy the smell of my bosom
  • Fast Forward 12 years later…
  • Holy Stones…I’ll Pray…I’ll Pray…I’ll Pray…now let us talk of the Old Code once again.
  • Just a Jackass on a donkey
  • The best things in this movie are the implied things.
  • The Code of Ancient Camelot…finally…the code is defined
  • The king grew up to be a handsome pale man.
  • I am the keeper of the falcon…behold my skill! oh look out..oh oh
  • 12 years and we still haven’t finished this …I mean we aint’ even close.
  • Kara…I can’t see you…but I can smell you.
  • I almost killed you once…shall we dance again.
  • “I’ve always said death was a release and not a punishment.”
  • Now why did the king all posse up just to ride down to peasant town and harass the blind?
  • Stone dragon!
  • Why is he poking the rock dragon with his quill? Does that help it write?
  • Bola a dragon while riding a horse…
  • haha…a dragon that says Yikes
  • Dragon’s tale with pincers
  • Drat…Yikes…
  • Fire loogie
  • He killed the Scarred one…so if he was the last dragon on earth
  • To the groin
  • Quaid is like a toothpick stuck in the wrong way.
  • What is your job father? It is my job to brush the wheat
  • 2 bags of gold in advance.
  • Most profitable dragon
  • The old Code “his blade defends the helpless” “His might upholds the weak” “His words speak only truth”
  • Dragon Soul
  • Brok is finger wrestling?
  • Brok is a man of many skills.
  • One of your 3 dirty daughters.
  • This dragon don’t like the taste of humans
  • Dragons sing when they are happy.
  • You taught me to fight!
  • Hey king…look at my heart! look at it! take a good long look
  • He is in League with the dragon!
  • Sink Sink! Meat Meat!
  • Do the mud people worship those pigs? Will they not eat the swine?
  • Tell us about Dragon Heaven…did you do something worthy.
  • Donate a half a heart…get into heaven
  • Valor! Valor! A visit from King Arthur
  • A knight…Take your oath knight…take it again.
  • Does he have some kind of dragon magic.
  • You and what army…me and my Dragon!
  • ….like a pudding
  • 5 Dragon slayers…how are they Dragon slayers…only 1 dragon is left and Bowen did most of the killing.
  • Retreat to the forest
  • Peasants always be building walls of fire.
  • The monk will not kill…but maim…yes…sure
  • oh…right in the Dragonheart
  • ” are the stars shining tonight?”
  • “How unmotherly of you.”
  • He took a nasty spill
  • The king is a patient freak. He will wait in his room for hours to launch a surprise attack.
  • Kara has a talent for finding trouble
  • Brok got killed by a girl! a girl…there’s a girl in the castle!
  • Rock to the king’s head.
  • The king thinks he’s immortal. Let’s test that theory.
  • The King and Dragon are twinsy’s
  • The one thing we never get to see is the actual Dragonheart.
  • Dragon into the stars…wink
  • Time of Justice and Brotherhood
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Mask Of Zorro (1998) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

and come right on in Senoritas. I am your party host Capt. Harrison Love and I welcome to you to my humble little abode….. “The Love Shack.” ahhh right.. come on in. Let me take your coat and any sharp pointy sticks you may have…

Now I can see some of you look a little confused. You may be asking yourself “where is that smooth talking, sun kissed god of a guy in the mask” that my soldiers may have promised would be at this party. Obviously, I am not he…no..not this loud splotchy peckerwood you see before you…but don’t fret… I’m about to change all of that….cause we are about to get so hammered that by the end of the night I will have gone from a 2 to a woooo…

Now, would you ladies care for something to drink? I have a tea pitcher full of Tequila with a man’s head in it. No? How about a pickle jar with Three Fingers of Jack…literally…those are the three fingers of jack.

Well boys it looks like it is just another night of angry faces and Settlers of Catan…drink up!…. ptt…pttt… Oh I got a hair..



LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120746/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mask_of_Zorro

https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/the-mask-of-zorro

TWITTER

The Mask of Zorro (1998) – Like hugging a giant cactus with your junk. A bit painful at first but so exciting!

SHOW NOTES

  • Mask of Zorro
  • It’s Zorro and Amblin! The Mask Of Zorro
  • clip clomp clip clip clomp clippity clippity clippity! faster!
  • Like eye holes in a leather tent thing.
  • I think they are yelling for Freedom.
  • “What are you doing cutting holes in my Wagon!? – Senior Lopez!
  • Senior Lopez makes the funeral boxes.
  • yay! it’s the leader! We are cheering!
  • Snuff box…snuff!!
  • All the Dons get their lands!
  • The Children want to see! But we don’t want the children to see!
  • 3 peasants pulled at random from the crowd to lure Zorro!
  • these 2 kids love some Zorrrro
  • oh no! The ass poke of Zorro.
  • Zorro is good at making his opponents appear foolish
  • Balcony full of sharp shooters…no match for these two young men.
  • Zorro wins because the people love him and support him
  • Zorro does math and acrobatics!
  • It was a good day…now give me the pendant…I wear the pendant of Zorro on Tuesday and Wednesdays.
  • Tornado is the horse. Way better name than Roach…and he has been using the curling wand. Zorro is way to busy with the fancy
  • Zorro had a baby…and has to settle down. It happens
  • Zorro is a Prince!
  • She broke the little clay horse! That little Zorro shit kid.
  • 5 Children…will he make it? Not at that age.
  • Don Raphel in my home!
  • Zorro was the Batman of his time.
  • “Blood never lies…Zorro” Traitor his County and his Class…Class warfare!
  • Zorro is better with his mask
  • you shot our love…stab the chunky guy
  • Your child should have been mine! Too bad
  • Well I guess he is just taking the baby.
  • Hairy Banderas
  • Nobody is tuff as Jack
  • Horse Thieves! The Murrieta Brothers
  • When Bulls start wearing …something something.
  • 3 Fingered Jack and his 2 toilet roll fingers
  • hugging a cactus bush neek’id that ain’t no good
  • That fella is a pretty good shot.
  • Spit and shoot yourself in the chest. This ain’t no kid’s move.
  • Bury the body…Bring the head.
  • The warden was trying to get some sleep!
  • Silence I am Zorro! I am Zorro!
  • Poor record keeping down at the jail
  • I am Torro! I am Gorro!
  • I see Zorro has been using his yard time for working out.
  • Time to play the deadman! Didn’t they do this in the 3 musketeers?
  • ha! Made me jump when he burst from the grave with that weird cat scream.
  • Don Hector. Don. Don…oh hi Don.
  • Can we stop clapping now? This is the best fake clap we got.
  • How much did they pay for that clap? Is that a 5 peso clap?
  • Where is your Zorro now? He is among us.
  • Lets be Californians!
  • Ready for some blood shed until he sees his daughter.
  • This flower only grows in California…it’s the Californian.
  • What about this? Silver!!!
  • Old man strength
  • You are trained to drink…ya drunk
  • Zorro was dead
  • My revenge is complicated.
  • “The pointy end goes into the other man.”
  • The master’s circle is like battle royal
  • Practice…drink…gymnastics
  • pushup over candles; boots on the back.
  • Learn by the whip
  • Lesson Number 1: Never attack with anger.
  • Lesson Number 2: come with me..I’ll give you bath
  • Lesson Number 3: get to lesson number 4
  • Horse Whisperer
  • Be careful senorita …there are dangerous men about.
  • Zorro likes to run to the top of steps and twirl around for one last look before he zips off.
  • “Listen…I am going to give you the great honor of being my horse.”
  • This horse is feisty
  • Son…You done wrecked our clubhouse…get ’em
  • Always so much fun with the Zorro fight scenes. Which one is your favorite? Clubhouse?
  • The big guy….shaking up Zorro. Hilarious
  • mouth full of teeth..spit
  • Zorro the legend has returned…a simple horse heist turned into a full on assault.
  • 3 days since my last confession. How many sins could you have completed in 3 days.
  • 4th commandment – Dishonor your father
  • Outsmarted by a horse.
  • Don’t forget to leave your mark
  • Ole Zorro likes to smoke and whip. Whip it real good.
  • Stop undressing me with your whip!
  • Learning to fight…no worries. Charm…now that is going to take a lot of work
  • Here hold my tray of drinks while I hack up a lung. Punch
  • The silly woman routine.
  • oh crap. He let the Dons get gone while dancing with Zorro’s daughter.
  • Smoldering dancing!
  • She was dancing…he was trying.
  • Real dad is cool with it…kidnap dad is a bit bent.
  • That is how they are dancing in Madrid these days.
  • Buy California from Santa Anna . I have gold bars!
  • El Dorado. Shame on you to cheat Santa Anna
  • Gold from his own land!
  • Who me? Just a kid with a basket strapped on my filthy head.
  • 3 fingered Jack.
  • You steal people’s lives….Damn ya and the horse that brung you. Ahhhhhhh…Suicide by Peckerwood
  • Peckerwood?
  • She recognizes her daddy’s voice…isn’t that sweet.
  • heads in jars and hands in wine pitchers
  • Pretty sure it would be a horrible idea to drink alcohol from a pickled head jar.
  • What! that mustache was fake! and apparently held on by spit.
  • Captain Love!
  • What do you do with hate? You hide it with a mask.
  • Hate mask
  • Captain Love knows then why does he not act.
  • Zorro in the beams stealing maps
  • The much debated Zorro
  • Bend down and touch your toes so I can kick your ass
  • Such exciting swords play…and when that doesn’t work…gymnastics!
  • swordplay like a dance…like a making love.
  • He was young and vigorous…he was very vigorous.
  • such exciting horse riding.
  • I don’t think his horse likes him very much.
  • old Z taught new Z so he could be free to do his own thing
  • at the tip of the sword a man will apparently do anything
  • now she knows…
  • The only way to light a fuse…shoot it
  • Love is so stupid…he has a gun and sword…he is a great shot…why play Zorro’s game.
  • Shovel slalom
  • Love has entered his circle
  • a most spectacular end to the bad guys.
  • old Zorro can’t die! Dad gives his blessing. No pressure.
  • Little Wookie! They named the baby Wookie!
  • Fighting as safely as possible
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Jack Frost (1997) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Jack be nibble, jack be quick, jack jump over the…hold on…hold on…wait a second….are we just going to overlook the fact that the sheriff’s little maniac of a son Ryan who cooked up a sandwich baggie full of Anti-Freeze oats to feed his dad a week before Christmas is not at least as big of an issue as the killer snowman in our midst?! Deep Fried Jack Balls! That kid has the makings of the next mythical horror killer franchise.

So when Ryan “The Oat Bag” Tiler is not playing the role of Cop Killer by Antifreeze he is out front of his house pulling some Frosty the Slay-man shit by bringing a murderer to life with a magical strangling scarf and carrots to rape with. ..Happy Birthday… (like in that Frosty cartoon with the magic hat) Bam…Billy just lost his head by a sled and is totally dead. Let’s go make Oats!

Listen sheriff you got a problem and it’s not the 12 quarts of coffee and bottle of antifreeze you drank today…Touch my finger…touch my knee…thank the lord my kids aren’t trying to kill me!. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-ha-ha-ha-ha not the one with Michael Keaton.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116671/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Frost_(1997_film)

TWITTER

Jack Frosty (1997) – What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? Poorly sculpted snow boobs? Go get Doc Peters.

SHOW NOTES

  • Where is Michael Keaton
  • I had that tree topper angel.
  • Uncle Henry…tell me a story…no it’s late go to bed…santa will be here soon..no…I want a story…do you want a happy story or a scary story…I want a happy scary story…. JACK FROST nipping at your nose. Because that is what he did. You wanted a story… you got a story.
  • Pretty sure the movie can not hold up to this intro.
  • Tinsel Garland to wipe off the window
  • What an oddly conspicuous vehicle “State Executional Transfer Vehicle”
  • He’s being executed in 30 minutes…they are cutting it pretty close.
  • Deep Fried Jack Balls
  • Gimmie a smoke ya screw…shut up convict..sniiiiiff…filtered
  • “Snowmonton County” ok Snowman Capital of the Midwest
  • FBI across half a dozen states. Backwater Sherrif nailed it.
  • Harv? Everything ok back there Harv…nooo
  • What a driving snow storm
  • Good thing these trucks are clearly labeled for what they do. Genetics Research. Caution- Acidic Solution
  • What…The…FRANK
  • What a festively decorated death truck
  • Deep Fried Jacks is off the menu.
  • Jack Frost…Stay of Execution…denied.
  • It sucked right into the snow….genetics
  • Sheriff has a nice casio digi watch
  • Jack Frost took that arrest personal.
  • Touch my finger…touch my knee…thank the lord it wasn’t me.
  • It wanted to run..but it didn’t have any legs!
  • Federal Authorities
  • Sam Tyler
  • Boom mic!
  • Yum Ryan…your goo looks great. Just fill up my zip-loc-bag…also…is that AntiFreeze next to the stove Ryan?
  • Snow man building competition!
  • Shannon Elizabeth! Slumming it.
  • Jay hid his snowman….stop peeking at my snowman.
  • Uh oh…foreshadowing…Sally is going to end up with a Christmas tree up her ass.
  • Billy and Jilly and Sally and Daddy.
  • What is this snow made of?
  • Get it Mr. T…snowballs!
  • “I’ll find a waaaaay!”
  • Guilt talk…but daddy I made those oats special for you…now leave them in the car.
  • Mr. Harper is dead but still rocking. haha..it was the deputy…
  • Don’t steal old man Harper’s apples
  • So was it accidental or did the FBI do it? Genetic research?
  • Snowman chase cam.
  • pluck pluck pluck.
  • Dangit Ryan and his special oats and special cookies
  • Lies! Sam is telling the people it’s all good…but he is gonna go home and bolt his door.
  • Hey Paul…there is an unfinished snow man in the front yard that spontaneously formed…wanna go decorate it with this bag of kitchen supplies and a snowman snow mit.
  • Nooooo…stop stroking the mouth!
  • Are you deaf as well as butt ugly.
  • Ryan Tiler and his snow golem.
  • Too bad for billy…he is out…holy moly!
  • Nice use of Christmas music.
  • That snowman has the twig eyes
  • Jack Frost the man was sending newspaper/magazine letter cutout threats and the sheriff was saving them?
  • Paul like to give that 20% off
  • “The lord Forsook this home a long time ago.”
  • Finish my scarf!
  • A smoking snowman?
  • If your kid died and some said a snowman did it and you start hearing talking snowmen….it’s bad
  • I guess that is one way to use and axe to kill someone.
  • What does momma put in her tea?
  • That is one fast moving snowman.
  • Haha…he made her the angel on the tree. Not as good as I was hoping for.
  • Jack got big
  • Go get Doc Peters.
  • Agent Manners and Stone
  • Maybe…is he even FBI? or is this some Genetic Research Conspiracy
  • Tractor Pulls and House Raisins
  • A 24 hour curfew.
  • Sleep community style
  • Paul needed a punch the face
  • The bird noises in this movie are hilarious. Crows..Pigeons.
  • The only thing the sheriff has done so far is drink coffee
  • Deputy home repair tip giver
  • How to plot revenge…not having sex in the sheriff’s house in the dark
  • That’s a lot of stripping
  • Want to have the sex? Build me a fire and pour me some wine.
  • Jack Frost is hiding in your freezer
  • Well it ain’t f’ing frosty
  • Frost Chop!!
  • “Worlds most pissed off snow cone.”
  • gross…brain pulse
  • Thank you Tommy!
  • So in addition to turning to snow and back to liquid Jack Frosty can make himself hot?
  • Are we implying that Jack is humping Jill?
  • Boom mic!
  • Who is the bullseye guy outside waving?
  • Chris’ Cop car returns home on it’s own like a faithful steed
  • Jack Frost is pissing himself under the door.
  • Stone slapping those aerosol cans like a punk
  • The keys left in the door cam pull is a total Sam Raimi thing.
  • Marla got all the great one-liners…Woman and Cowards first
  • Burnt up snowman.
  • Look mom…I’m a Picaso
  • Trust these people….we might be your only hope.
  • The Sheriff can’t shoot for shit
  • The soul is a chemical. Don’t you get it!
  • That priest sure likes to crank up the heat to remind his flock.
  • Jack Frost Vision
  • He’s wearing and Edgar Suit…this came out the same year as MIB
  • Holy shit…it was antifreeze in the kitchen
  • The son is the real killer.
  • Poor Paul doesn’t know that his son is dead.
  • What’s the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? No Balls.
  • The church is full of people doing…and even one with goats…just like in the Omen
  • owww…that hurts…ice dagger
  • oh man..open chest wound and splish splashing in a redneck truck jacuzzi
  • hey dad..you forgot this arm..aaaaaaaaaaa
  • Baptism by antifreeze.
  • “What do we tell the FBI?”
  • Silent Night by Jack Frost…scary.
  • I’ts page 60 and there’s not a single morph credits
  • Shit in the credits : “Ohhhh nooo, I feel like a caboose.” “Mongo like movie” “Don’t eat yellow snow” “Roundy Round” “Maybe it will snow tomorrow” “Say, who was behind Door #3” “Where’s the carrot in the bath scene?” “The things about snowmen is that they really don’t have arms.” “How many times did you spot Idiot?” “Does anybody have a 20 on Yolanda?” “Is the soup ready yet?” “You want a B-12?” “Can I have fries with that?” – Title House – “Special Thanks to Idiot, Acts of Nature: Flash Flood, No Snow, High Winds.”
  • Did we ever get to see the secret snowman?
  • Campbell’s Soup “Let it snow.” 1994 commercial had a bigger buget

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Executive Decision (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

Intro

Oh hi,

We’re not gonna make it? You are! Seagal Out!

Well Steven, here we are explosively decompressed at 35,000 feet without a parachute again. Now, based on my training the average human should have about 30 seconds of useful consciousness at this height. But, I’m way cooler than the average human…sooo…45 seconds….buuuuut I just wasted 15 seconds of that on a word-math problem or is it math-word problem? Whatever, we have been in worse situations…you are! now focus up Sha-gaul…….Shuh-gal…See-gal…….no it’s Suhgal right? I mean how have I been saying it?…Shuuuguuuh…Ahhh…snap out of it, Whoever you are!

Ya know what…I don’t need useful brains…I’ll just fly the brain…so hee-ya! take that fluffy cloud and that…and this roundhouse kick to your fluffy face. Oh wait…look clouds! Did that experimental bomber pilot just eject from our mission plane! oh ho ho… Hello plot hole here I come. All I have to do is skyfall towards him and take my position on his his lap for a free ride back down to earth.

“Hello fellow American! May I hitch a ride back to mother Russia!” I mean….ah shit..covers blown…quick fly to safety Sea-gull! Cah Cah Cah Cah

Links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116253/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Decision

Twitter

Executive Decision (1996) – Like 2 hours of intense zip lining, wire cutting, lights flashing action to get the attention of some while hiding from the attention of others. It’s sweaty work but Leguizamos got to do it.

Show Notes

  • Man this movie is pixelated
  • All Star Cast!
  • Very Military Thriller Music.
  • DZ-5 Russian Nerve Toxin
  • Jim and John wrote this…twins? Predator. Wild Wild West
  • Collins took one…he’s dead…for nothing! no DZ-5
  • 3 months later
  • Gee I wonder if Kurt is going to have to fly a larger plane later on. You are not prepared!
  • Flying anxiety. Relax and Fly the Plane. Stick and Rudder
  • What a weird side flash on the Jaffa Terrorist Wedding Napping.
  • 15 years of unrestrained Terrorism.
  • 6 months later.
  • Movie planes ridiculously large on the inside
  • Overhead luggage. Stupid Woman!
  • Sweaty Terrorist are prone to blowing up and sweating
  • Oceanic Airlines
  • Gun Reassemble
  • QA Has Bathroom Face Wash
  • These Terrorist look like Terrorist
  • I like calling the embassy and playing pre-recorded threats.
  • Hide my gun in my sock.
  • Circle that US Marshal…circle him!
  • Where is the Passenger Manifest…You destroyed it?
  • Sucking on Twizzlers and scrubbing audio.
  • Remember Guys…this is a think tank….we get paid to think
  • We do not negotiate with Terrorist…unless we do.
  • Do we like London that much…enough to negotiate. Is the President in London?
  • So we got this crazy plan. Let’s spend 20 minutes of the movie with some nut ass stunt to dock on a commercial jet with a stealth fighter and let’s let Seagal lead it and Kurt wear a tux and tag along.
  • So Allison died from the Million Dollar Baby death
  • This whole plan relies on a clip
  • How many wind shears happen while doing some crazy ass maneuver
  • Why is Cappy so damn heavy?
  • OMG Seagal died in most spectacular fashion.
  • I kind of like that Seagal held out for a better more heroic death
  • Castle Rock. Big Eye Six. Hail Mary.
  • Top 2 are dead in the team replaced with 2 non-supposed to be theres.
  • Shh…double finger sssssh
  • We only have part of our equipment
  • Whispering in the belly of the plan…time for a heated power struggle
  • Photo from 25 years ago…but I would recognize his voice…and know if I saw him.
  • Co-Pilot saw Americans…Soldiers…ignore this cut and bump on my head.
  • Yep. Still dead.
  • I traveled all this way to lay on the cold floor with a broke neck. That’s why I get paid the big bucks.
  • uh oh Velma…ya dropped your glasses
  • What is the in flight movie? Looks like Kurt Russel and a Monkey.
  • The Barefoot Executive (1971) Ha.
  • They have enough nerve gas to wipe out half of the eastern seaboard….time to just blow up the plane.
  • Scooting up and down the tube of a plane like some kind of Leguizamo Rat
  • How nice of them to include the captain with the bomb research
  • Why not just eject the bomb…lose pressure…
  • All the tech guys in this movie have oral fixations.
  • Whatever you do…don’t look into his eyes…his dreamy dreamy eyes…OMG I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES!
  • I need me a laser wire cutter
  • This operation has too many rookie factors
  • Red Handled Dikes?
  • Cappy
  • Coughing Cappy Death
  • Yaffa is Freeee…Free Yaffa for all!
  • 1:22:22 .. It’s an executive decision now.
  • 2-1 K…21 K!
  • The bomb wiring is a decoy…what else is a decoy
  • The under bomb has laser beams (Photo something beams)
  • The president is out of the country
  • This is more wire cutting than I had signed on for
  • Least fun game of Operation every
  • Also, way too many flashing lights in this movie.
  • Haha…wardrobe change.
  • Kurt Russel slowly morphs
  • The look of surprise on the sleepers face…priceless
  • Who Bye Box of Diamonds
  • When is this morphine supposed to kick in.
  • They are totally NOT in control
  • Whats wrong..FLAPS!
  • I love that Russel is announcing everything he is doing while trying to figure it out.
  • Shit…landing gear down.
  • Just fly the plane.
  • Just land the plane
  • Hey..my landing field!
  • hey…thanks…a chewed up coffee stirrer.