INTRO

Oh hi,

And Welcome to Autopsies Are Us, where our motto is “Please don’t cry. The head is going to be alright for the funeral.”

Now if you could please excuse me for just a moment while I try to find an appropriate surface to put down my coffee and lemon poppy seed bread.

Oh wait…there is no such surface in a morgue! So why are we always eating something in here! Do we not get breaks! Us morticians really need to unionize or go on a diet or something. Death makes me hungry.

Hmmm…Let me just see what is under this sheet…maybe there is someplace I can put…

Oh my God… hurk that’s why we don’t lift the sheet past the face. Hurk. Hurk.

Uh oh, Poppy Seed Bread…return to sender. Nope…nope…just some foamy milk substance.

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111686/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wes_Craven%27s_New_Nightmare

TWITTER

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) – Like a game of  Freddy’s: Crossy Road. Never download again.

SHOW NOTES

Ahhh… New Line Cinema…The Studio Freddy Built.

Kids laughing

UMC hammer?

This metal hand is alive!! and who has burning

Clever to the hand!! More blood! Don’t be stingy with the blood!

There is Wes now…drinking something…what is he drinking?

So we are on the set of a new Freddy movie? Is this her story? is she drinking Barqs with a straw!

That is a huge Chinese Takeout box.

Bull Tendons. Nerve bundles from a live Doberman?

Picked up a signal from an 80s walkie talkie?

Uh oh…that hand just went all Thing on them.

Oh…Heather was having a nightmare.

That is a serious earthquake.

Do you call your kids Chief?

Quakewatch! 6.8 quake. Oh…so the one they felt was not even the big quake it was an aftershock.

Who has been calling her? Harassing phone calls.

We are starting to get hints and variations of the old Nightmare on Elm Street music.

Those cracks look like Freddy Claws!

Uh oh…kid is watching your performance from the first movie….what the hell is wrong with that kid.

Ye olde house phone.

One…Two…phone call is for you….oh…AND FREDDY’S COMING FOR YOU!

Geez…who cares if Freddy is coming. Earthquakes are a more immediate danger.

The doorbell rang…did she think Freddy was at the door?

LA Limousine Ma’am…

Why does 1994 look so much more like modern film making than 1988 and prior?

LA Lazy Limousine service. We prefer to call you.

Is Julie going to eat that damn orange or not!?

Limo driver likes the big laugh…

Is Heather doing stuff on TV?

My son? No…You mean the son of Freddy? no

Remember when Freddy was dead? yeah that was a thing.

Look at all those Fred Heads.

I like the idea that Hollywood back lots have people walking around in full costume and juggling.

This movie would be shot differently today. With so much reality TV we would for sure film this more like reality TV.

Thanks for the show Kim.

Nope. Got kids now. Horror movies…not for kids.

Answer the damn phone Bob! “We got people for that.”

“Never sleep again…”…Redrum.

Rex is the best. Thanks cotton filled dinosaur! He saved me.

You ain’t gonna be able to sew that Rex….dump that trash and go get a new Rex.

Semper Fi… Cut to the Chase…..cause his name is CHASE!

Dillon is having…episodes.

They have a cheetah in the living room with a saddle…yeah…no wonder the kid is freaked out.

Chuck and Terry are clowns…forget them!

Chase don’t believe you Heather.

Flammable Ford…

Oh no…the Freddy glove is gone!

So the kid is having nightmares…so read him a scary ass Fairy Tale of Hansel and Gretels.

This kid is Freddy’s for sure.

Red yarn for Rex wounds. Good thing you are an actress.

Night Night…Sleep Tight…Don’t Let The Cenobites Bite.

If the birds don’t eat them first.

Earthquakes and falling asleep at the wheel are the real horrors in this movie and poor phone reception.

Chase took a glove to the crotch.

The real nightmare is the police showing up at your door.

Is that a thing you can do? Just head on down to the morgue and walk on in.

I want to see it all…..The head is going to be alright for the funeral..I mean..if that is what you are worried about.

A little puke please.

Wes was apparently going through his Nature disaster phase.

Freddy hides in the corners of coffins.

I’m starting to think the kid is the new nightmare

being a parent is the new Nightmare

ok….maybe you are right…maybe he is crazy.

I would not have easy access to a pool if I had Dillion living in my house.

He is putting things in your mail and you are keeping it in a drawer.

Oh…England is a painter.

Mom Jeans!

I need a pair of those old violet shaded glasses.

I want to be scared for this kid…but he cracks me up too much.

I like how the new Freddy glove stalks the bed like a dorsal fin of a shark.

I always dug how Freddy can start to build power while you are half asleep so you can’t tell what is dream versus what is reality.

haha…won’t answer the phone? I’ll send you a letter every day until you do.

Phone lickers! Just like in the original.

Foam puke is the best puke.

LIAR! He said he was never gonna sleep again!

Hey…it’s the nurse who is in all those insidious movies….and that kid kind of looks like this kid.

Home!

Mmm….kids love pills…yep…

ahhh yeah. I chipmunked those pills.

Wake up lady!!

Tell us all about the rules Wes!

A new fault under the city.

Make another movie! With Johnny Depp?

reading the Jama

Sleep deprivation….more coffee!

Found them! Brutally slashed to death.

You shouldn’t keep a coffee pot in your bedroom Heather…

Shit…good jump scare from the closet Freddy.

Miss Me? Not as much as you would think.

Dylan is in Intensive care…in an oxygen tent. We decided not to call you…THE MOTHER!

She forgot the dino! Bad mom

This movie makes me sleepy.

What did they feed that kid? Dark brown sludge.

Them nurses can’t give them shots like that to a kid.

Heather is going gray.

Julie is so screwed.

Nurses who run!

What is play Skin The Cat?

Reach for me. At least stand up Dylan.

haha…Heather threw an elbow to that nurse’s gut.

I don’t think that is how drugs work for sleeping. Sleep walking does not allow you to be awake anyways.

Don’t play crossy road Dylan!

Freddy Crossy Road.

This highway scene is more intense than it should be.

Multi-fred!

I like that actor dad plays surrogate dad.

So. Dinosaurs can defeat Freddy.

Why are you calling me Nancy John? Why are you calling me John?

Movies are becoming reality.

The Bed…it’s where bad things emerge.

Dad always says “yeah, sure.”

The sleeping pills are breadcrumbs

Nooo…not Rex! anybody but Rex! I cried a little.

You do not take gel coated capsules with no water. That shit just sticks to you.

I think you have had enough Nancy. 3  Sleeping pills will get you there.

ouch…that is a bad bed slide.

Was that a pterodactyl

Freddy is supposed to be some ancient terror.

Snake to the eye

I like Freddy’s new trenchcoat.

That kid is always cutting people’s tendons or stabbing the back of legs.

Sins are listed on the wall.

Oh I know…I’ll hide here in this firepit!

I don’t understand. Fred can stretch.

Wait Freddy said “Meet your maker to Nancy. Is he implying he made her? or is this a who made who situation.

Freddy could not stretch his arm until Nancy woke up in her dream.

Freddy has got one of them dislocating jaws.

Stab to the crotch is one of Fred’s weaknesses.

Perforated tongue!

Now he has a forked tongue. We are certainly bringing comparisons to snake/devil/satan.

Freddy’s home is Romanesque in nature.

It’s the script. If you write the script Freddy will stay where he belongs. On the screen.

Oh hi,

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

Three, Four He’s doing it some more

Five, Six  Your kid makes me sick(s)

Seven, Eight It’s your kid I hate(s)

Nine, Ten Let’s never do this again

 

One, Two Freddy’s got a crush on you

Three, Four Freddy’s at your door

Five, Six Flowers on a stick

Seven, Eight Let’s go on a date

Nine, Ten I promise to stop when you say when.

Oh hi,

My name is Rex. I’m Tyrannical.