Wild Things (1998) – Filmsack Show Notes

Wild Things 1998


oh hi,

Ok. So, why don’t we begin with a question? What is … a chicken licker? Is it a sex crime? Is it good innocent prison fun? Well, I’ll never know, because I sure as hell ain’t about to leave that in my browser search history for my family to find after my untimely but entirely predictable demise at the hand of my jilted toothless lover. posion!

Anywho, If this week’s movie taught me anything … and it didn’t … It is “People aren’t always what they appear to be. Don’t forget that!” – The bacon knows. The bacon is wise. The bacon is hung. Put that away man, you are embarrassing me!

But to the greater point – Let’s take Walter for instance, “The Alligator Smoocher” who lives with his mom and sister down in the swampy swamp Everglades of southern Florida. You MAY see a man who is whittling down some trailer teeth he found and is putting them in his mouth WHERE HE ALREADY HAS TEETH … gross! but what I see is a prudent man thinking about his future meth ridden toothless mouth. Genius! Over 200!

.. and Jesus Randy, where did you get those shoes? Do you have some sort of loyalty card at “Man-Whores for less” or are you paying retail like me? We shop at the same places!



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Wild Things (1998) – “Can I watch too? or is it just for boys?” Wait, Is that Kevin Bacon’s Soggy Bacon! Now I feel like this movies fingers were in me…both places.

This movie has everything! Gators, Cheerleaders, Jeeps, Shorty shorts and wet t-shirts. and by everything I mean…what a horny bacon would want in a movie.


  • Is this the one where they kiss?
  • eeek! Tiger Blood! Mandalay
  • This font is something else…No Fear!
  • Meanwhile, down in the swampy swamps of south Florida on my Airboat
  • Is this a movie about Gators and Storks? That is how you make babies…I think?
  • Digging this funky music…feels like the bayou without being that. Florida? Where we at?
  • ahhh… George Clinton Music! Holy crap on a stick. No wonder the funk. Not that George Clinton. You can’t be named George Clinton and be the music director and play the funk without being “that” George Clinton.
  • This movie has Bacon all over it.
  • Bacon would pay any amount of money to see a couple of girls kiss.
  • Forget it loser!
  • This is so 90s it hurts
  • Is this college…this looks like college kids.
  • Denise Richards….and her F’ Off was great.
  • “Is that you Jimmy? Meditate…he means masturbate.
  • I’m just going to write Sex up here…and CRIMES! Wasn’t me man.
  • We’ve all heard the terms Date Rape, Harrasment.
  • Campbell has a problem with Bacon.
  • What is a sex crime?
  • Blue Bays! Fight Fight! wooooo
  • Jimmy is the worst.
  • “Can I play too? or is it just for boys?”
  • Denise is a bit pushy…don’t do it Mr. Lombardo! Don’t do it!
  • Jimbo is the buffer…good plan.
  • From 2 sides of the track.
  • Whore for less?
  • Why can’t we be friends.
  • God that would be annoying. Get off me! I get it…you are sexy…now stop touching me!
  • Like Momma like daughter.
  • I don’t want no ladies…I want the wind boat out at the glades.
  • Sexy wind boat… sexy gator…I’m not really into ladies…I’m more of a gator man.
  • My jeep…nice and dirty for you.
  • word play…Where is your hose.
  • Next years model is outside washing your mans dirty jeep.
  • This movie has everything! Gators, Cheerleaders, Jeeps, Shorty shorts and wet t-shirts. and by everything I mean…what a horny 16 year old would want in a movie.
  • no thanks…she makes me nervous….what happened in there!?
  • Chasing booty at the yatch club. Barracuda.
  • They sure have a lot of words for penises
  • Does anyone actually talk or act like this?
  • She misses her daddy…he killed himself!! Why did he do it?
  • Is she calling him a male prostitute?
  • She was raped by Lombarto!
  • His fingers were in me…both places…you know…one in my nose…one is my ear. NOOO
  • South Florida
  • Ha! Bill Murray is the lawyer! With a neck brace..dodging an insurance guy.
  • Lombardo has a cutesy name for everybody.
  • Robert Wagner crazy eyes is great!
  • How old is his girlfriend.
  • Smillin Jacks Fish Camp
  • He rose up the ranks with hard work…but now he is back to the bottom with 1 simple accusation.
  • Hey that is the Mother’s boyfriend.
  • Wreck me. Beat me.
  • How did he get his jeep out of the water? Does he have the pulley thing?
  • Is that a harpoon gun?
  • At a hotel coked out of her head!
  • South Florida is full of gators!
  • Death on the Installment Plan book
  • We do Sex Crimes
  • No little bitch can make me dumb.
  • So you are the new Chicken Licker? I don’t want to know what that is.
  • Scandal!
  • These people ruined your life bro.
  • It would be nice to ride around with Bill Murray in a pacer…and now he has a porshe?
  • Ken struck it big.
  • That is how you get in the club!
  • She broke his Lombardo bowl!!
  • He got money…but not like Lawyer money.
  • 8.5 Million split between 3.
  • I do not like her socks.
  • Who thought up this plot? Horny young men?
  • This movie makes me uncomfortable
  • I mean he should have no problem spending the money….but neither of the girls can spend any of that money for a long time.
  • Bacon knows the deal.
  • Cops have 1 job. Create paranoia.
  • Back as a 2 time loser.
  • They sure are in the pool a lot.
  • Calm the bitch down.
  • I miss you too…but I can’t right now…I have lo mein.
  • The only people who can f this up is us. No “bye” …. talk to you later?
  • R word!!
  • Swamp trash just like my mom.
  • that look on Kevin Bacon’s face when they start the slap fight.
  • He thinks he is controlling them.
  • Hey Ray! That boss likes to watch.
  • hehe…he just did say it to your face.
  • You ever see something bad coming and you didn’t do anything about it. I don’t want to do that again.
  • What a crazy bunch of music.
  • It is almost like you can’t trust a couple of crazy high school seniors.
  • Will she kill her? Won’t she? Can’t kill her in my pool…but the ocean…sure.
  • Let’s meet on the beach before we split up.
  • That is her second trip to mom’s rover.
  • Damn he did it?
  • She is such a kid…Mom would kill me if she knew I took the Rover.
  • Who’s teeth are those Walter? Walter is the real mastermind.
  • Lombardo ain’t even into boats!
  • Man…Bacon is making quick work of his detecting….hey kid…go catch a bus…I got to collect these teeth.
  • Hey Jimmy! Walter Found Teeth…Bacon found Teeth…there is a connection.
  • He went to college on an athletic scholarship
  • Oh fancy…did you spend all your money on that shell light.
  • Kelly likes to walk around in her bra/bikini top.
  • Not too smart to talk on the hotel phone
  • Is she going to kiss him? Dangit…he keeps using his sexuality…..and women are getting sucked into it.
  • How close was she to the buzz box. Ducet is on it.
  • I got Bacon in my backyard.
  • Ok…wait…so is Bacon a rapist? Is he in on it?
  • Stoner Beach!!
  • He has killed before.
  • This movie takes a lot of turns. None that were telegraphed from earlier…but Bacon Ween!
  • Killing Kelley was not the plan.
  • He don’t like surprises …. but people are always trying to sneak into his bathroom.
  • To large accounts and no loose ends.
  • Why don’t you start cranking.
  • Man overboard. one hand for you and one for the boat. First rule of sailing.
  • Your…Your dead… Sorry Partner.
  • You should have killed Davey…seminole kid. out in the Glades. Suzey saw it.
  • Walter slaps the gator
  • That is all there is to say about Ray Ducat.
  • So they both took revenge.
  • She did poison him. Dumbass.
  • Pop Quiz…multiple choice. A rock. A Spear Gun. or a little poison.
  • She is the real gator.
  • All we need now is Walter to be the ultimate bad guy. Suzy got all the IQs and nothing left for Walter. Over 200
  • You can’t reveal the clues AFTER the action.
  • It took way too long to pull those teeth…no way.
  • She winged me!
  • haha…all the way back to Lawyer… Ruby and Walter we set aside.

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