Mars Attacks! (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

Mars Attacks!


Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we grab our Theremin and tune into a big budget 90s Hollywood Homage to those terrible but awesome low budget scifi films of the 50s. So fire up your Willys jeep and head for the mount… hold on a second guys. Three small but brainy looking Martians just walked into my office and are Ack’ing at me.

Ok, since it is 2022 I am just going to fire up Google translate and point it at their giant brain noggins … Ack … Ack … oh…and another Ack.. Ok…that roughly translates to… We come in peace… oh good… They do come in peace … and now they are making the universal sign for donuts… Sorry little dudes…Dunkin is closed.

Boy these guys are ugly. Speaking of Ugly. They appear to be offering me a choice of “Would you rather” with my options being Sarah Jessica Parker’s head on a chihuahua’s body or a chihuahua’s head on Sarah Jessica Parker’s body. Oh man. Ummm…hmmm… uhhhh … my response is … ACK!

Randy, grab me my Slim Whitman album…we are going to war.!

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Mars Attacks! (1996) – ack ack … The answer to the impossible question: Sarah Jessica Parker down bottom chihuahua up top … and that ain’t bad.


  • Is this comedy?
  • They came in peace.
  • 4 Miles outside of Lockjaw, Kentucky Tuesday, May 9 – 6:57 PM
  • Mr. Lee is taking out the trash. What is that BBQ?
  • The guy on the tractor…for just a second…I thought he was going to say something racist.
  • Running of the flaming cows…Who us? Just some Aliens in a saucer torching your meats.
  • That scout saucer … what happened … what went wrong. Also, not sure that Cows On Fire scene holds up…
  • So the Martians store their saucers in the Mars Mountains?
  • All star cast…even Lisa Marie
  • Was this before or after MIB?
  • Should I read the comic books?
  • They do fly in formations.
  • May 10th at the White House…Jack is a dull boy.
  • Do we know they are warships?
  • He says Extre-terres-strural.
  • Abraham Lincoln meets Leave it to Beaver.
  • Later that day in Nevada. Vegas.
  • Nuns like fights.
  • Byron has to answer his Pharaoh Phone.
  • Jack is playing 2 parts? Prince and the Pauper.
  • Stop flirting with the waitress!
  • Even later that day…in New York
  • Meanwhile in Kansas.
  • President Jack being chill is scary.
  • Blindfolded Jack Black assembling a gun in a hurry.
  • Foreshadowing…will he kick their butts? the Martians.
  • Flesh Eaters the arcade game!
  • “Excuse me folks…but we have to make an unscheduled stop!”
  • Mama taking care of business and keeper her kids out of jail.
  • Martin Short can be a bit scary.
  • We didn’t get into the canals.
  • The Martians developed underground.
  • He called out Jesus and the TV went wonky.
  • Yappy dog will yap.
  • Martians seem to have their brains on the outside.
  • ack ack ack… Donut.
  • They breath nitrogen and have telepathic potential.
  • Advance cultures are peaceful. Sure why not.
  • That voice translator is old school looking.
  • All green of skin… 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest. “What the hell does that mean!”
  • The Ozone and the Rain Forest. Some people say they are ugly. I think they have come to save us.
  • Is that the kid from Who’s the boss? No the kid from Witness
  • What a touching moment. Goodbye Thomas. Jack Black.
  • I know Thomas.
  • Meanwhile, at the press conference.
  • Let’s take grandma to the home Thomas. Are we going to have a Cocoon moment. Why haven’t we sacked that yet. Grandma has a stuffed pussy cat called muffy.
  • A bunch of saucers in orbit.
  • Pahrup..Nevada.
  • I smoke a pipe…cause I’m an intellectual!
  • Poppy is a Puppy.
  • I was there.
  • Tim Burton loves his dumbasses.
  • Has Tim Burton ever met an actual person?
  • Lay on the Theremin please. thanks…now I know it is scifi!
  • That ship has a giant tongue.
  • Martians are about 4 foot tall.
  • let’s make the counter clockwise motion.
  • We come in peace. They came in peace…release the doves.
  • Aww man…they killed Jack Black and J Fox!!
  • Red Skeleton or Green Skeleton?
  • Points to Marsha
  • These Martians hate doves!
  • The Martian translator is like ours but bigger.
  • Martians prefer to walk around in their underoos
  • Those little dangling things on the martians are weird.
  • You are worried about yesterday…I’m worried about tomorrow.
  • Lack of genitalia
  • Quack Quack Quack
  • Head in a jar. Dog head on a human body. Like the opposite of invasion of the body snatchers.
  • Those kids have the home version of that arcade game.
  • I guess it wasn’t the dove.
  • Our military is not every accurate.
  • 3 shutups
  • …and that ain’t bad.
  • No disassemble Remington Steele
  • Which is worse. Top dog or bottom dog?
  • Yeah…she looks natural…totally not like a Martian.
  • Horny Short is going to get us all killed.
  • This is a series of human follies.
  • Martians bite.
  • They really hate those Boy Scouts!
  • Sorry ma’am there is a tour in here.
  • Mar-Shure!
  • Tom Jones thinks it is unusual to be zapped by anyone
  • President of France on line 2.
  • Humans are always looking for peace
  • 1 nuclear weapon…like helium…are we a joke to you?
  • These aliens really hate our national and world monuments.
  • They are horney aliens with no genitalia?
  • What is Danny Devito doing here? Oh he is the Lawyer joke.
  • Grandma’s music is deadly. Some Yodeling
  • These Martians have a mean streak.
  • They have shrink rays.
  • The presidents speech is all we have left? He has been flagged.
  • Jack Nicolson died twice in this movie.
  • “Don’t run. We are your friends.”
  • Aliens are always ready to box.
  • It’s a new day.
  • So is Natalie Portman now president?
  • We should live in Teepees and stuff.
  • He survived!

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