Mars Attacks! (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we grab our Theremin and tune into a big budget 90s Hollywood Homage to those terrible but awesome low budget scifi films of the 50s. So fire up your Willys jeep and head for the mount… hold on a second guys. Three small but brainy looking Martians just walked into my office and are Ack’ing at me.

Ok, since it is 2022 I am just going to fire up Google translate and point it at their giant brain noggins … Ack … Ack … oh…and another Ack.. Ok…that roughly translates to… We come in peace… oh good… They do come in peace … and now they are making the universal sign for donuts… Sorry little dudes…Dunkin is closed.

Boy these guys are ugly. Speaking of Ugly. They appear to be offering me a choice of “Would you rather” with my options being Sarah Jessica Parker’s head on a chihuahua’s body or a chihuahua’s head on Sarah Jessica Parker’s body. Oh man. Ummm…hmmm… uhhhh … my response is … ACK!

Randy, grab me my Slim Whitman album…we are going to war.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116996/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Attacks!

TWITTER

Mars Attacks! (1996) – ack ack … The answer to the impossible question: Sarah Jessica Parker down bottom chihuahua up top … and that ain’t bad.

INTRO

• Is this comedy?
• They came in peace.
• 4 Miles outside of Lockjaw, Kentucky Tuesday, May 9 – 6:57 PM
• Mr. Lee is taking out the trash. What is that BBQ?
• The guy on the tractor…for just a second…I thought he was going to say something racist.
• Running of the flaming cows…Who us? Just some Aliens in a saucer torching your meats.
• That scout saucer … what happened … what went wrong. Also, not sure that Cows On Fire scene holds up…
• So the Martians store their saucers in the Mars Mountains?
• All star cast…even Lisa Marie
• Was this before or after MIB?
• Should I read the comic books?
• They do fly in formations.
• May 10th at the White House…Jack is a dull boy.
• Do we know they are warships?
• He says Extre-terres-strural.
• Abraham Lincoln meets Leave it to Beaver.
• Later that day in Nevada. Vegas.
• Nuns like fights.
• Byron has to answer his Pharaoh Phone.
• Jack is playing 2 parts? Prince and the Pauper.
• Stop flirting with the waitress!
• Even later that day…in New York
• Meanwhile in Kansas.
• President Jack being chill is scary.
• Blindfolded Jack Black assembling a gun in a hurry.
• Foreshadowing…will he kick their butts? the Martians.
• Flesh Eaters the arcade game!
• “Excuse me folks…but we have to make an unscheduled stop!”
• Mama taking care of business and keeper her kids out of jail.
• Martin Short can be a bit scary.
• We didn’t get into the canals.
• The Martians developed underground.
• He called out Jesus and the TV went wonky.
• Yappy dog will yap.
• Martians seem to have their brains on the outside.
• ack ack ack… Donut.
• They breath nitrogen and have telepathic potential.
• Advance cultures are peaceful. Sure why not.
• That voice translator is old school looking.
• All green of skin… 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest. “What the hell does that mean!”
• The Ozone and the Rain Forest. Some people say they are ugly. I think they have come to save us.
• Is that the kid from Who’s the boss? No the kid from Witness
• What a touching moment. Goodbye Thomas. Jack Black.
• I know Thomas.
• Meanwhile, at the press conference.
• Let’s take grandma to the home Thomas. Are we going to have a Cocoon moment. Why haven’t we sacked that yet. Grandma has a stuffed pussy cat called muffy.
• A bunch of saucers in orbit.
• Pahrup..Nevada.
• I smoke a pipe…cause I’m an intellectual!
• Poppy is a Puppy.
• I was there.
• Tim Burton loves his dumbasses.
• Has Tim Burton ever met an actual person?
• Lay on the Theremin please. thanks…now I know it is scifi!
• That ship has a giant tongue.
• Martians are about 4 foot tall.
• let’s make the counter clockwise motion.
• We come in peace. They came in peace…release the doves.
• Aww man…they killed Jack Black and J Fox!!
• Red Skeleton or Green Skeleton?
• Points to Marsha
• These Martians hate doves!
• The Martian translator is like ours but bigger.
• Martians prefer to walk around in their underoos
• Those little dangling things on the martians are weird.
• You are worried about yesterday…I’m worried about tomorrow.
• Lack of genitalia
• Quack Quack Quack
• Head in a jar. Dog head on a human body. Like the opposite of invasion of the body snatchers.
• Those kids have the home version of that arcade game.
• I guess it wasn’t the dove.
• Our military is not every accurate.
• 3 shutups
• …and that ain’t bad.
• No disassemble Remington Steele
• Which is worse. Top dog or bottom dog?
• Yeah…she looks natural…totally not like a Martian.
• Horny Short is going to get us all killed.
• This is a series of human follies.
• Martians bite.
• They really hate those Boy Scouts!
• Sorry ma’am there is a tour in here.
• Mar-Shure!
• Tom Jones thinks it is unusual to be zapped by anyone
• President of France on line 2.
• Humans are always looking for peace
• 1 nuclear weapon…like helium…are we a joke to you?
• These aliens really hate our national and world monuments.
• They are horney aliens with no genitalia?
• What is Danny Devito doing here? Oh he is the Lawyer joke.
• Grandma’s music is deadly. Some Yodeling
• These Martians have a mean streak.
• They have shrink rays.
• The presidents speech is all we have left? He has been flagged.
• Jack Nicolson died twice in this movie.
• “Don’t run. We are your friends.”
• Aliens are always ready to box.
• It’s a new day.
• So is Natalie Portman now president?
• We should live in Teepees and stuff.
• He survived!