YeeeHaw and all that stuff y’all…and now it is time for some Theme Song Fact Checking,
I’ll try to read these lines with my fact checking voice…but I may break into song…no promises.
Alright, here we go….
“Just the good ol’ boys…”
Unproven….what we DO HAVE IS: a “Smartass” and a “Jackass” in an orange Dodge Charger
“Never meanin’ no harm…”
Hmmm…Let’s see…more attempted cop killings than an Ice-T ditty. However, since you qualified it with a “never meanin…” I guess it’s NOT technically NOT true. sooo…
“Beats all you never saw…”
What?! No..What?! NEXT
“Been in trouble with the law…”
“Since the day they was born…”
I got to tell you, this whole story seems improbable…I don’t think we need to inspect the 2nd verse..
Hey, Somebody get me the lyrics to the A-Team…I got some work to do.
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) – Like a doomsday machine right up your hiney hole. So, grab some moonshine and pull up your Daisy Dukes it’s time to be a Jackass.
Welcome to Hazzard County.
A little corner of the world where
everyone knows everyone else…
… and people are never too busy
to stop and say howdy.
Shoot, some folks even say this is
where the apple pie was invented.
Yep, basically everything down here
moves a little bit slower…
… unless, of course,
your last name is Duke.
Viola playing the viola song
Good. They kept the VO guy.
Hazzard: Where the apple pie was invented.
“Everything around here moves a little slower…unless you name is Duke”
No rebel flag…yet.
Time for Bo to take a shortcut.
It’s ok Bo…Pa ain’t here.
Got to admit…I thought that was Daisy on the porch at first…was a little concerned.
General Lee…what would you name your car?
Laurence Fishburn audio book Al Uncer Jr. -> Don’t make the turn…never gonna learn.
Sean Scott nearly shit himself.
Bo keeps talking to the general like it’s Kitt.
New Whammy Shells…for when you really want to blow a hole in something.
There is a Rally this weekend…and Bo is ready.
What is up with Bo’s beard…it looks like it is sponged on.
Luke Knoxville is always falling off shit.
“I forgot about the brother!”
Is Whammy Bullets sponsoring this movie?
You just assassinated a tree!
So far…not dissappointed in this movie’s take on this small screen classic.
ohhh…a slap bet…with a phone book.
Phone book to the ballsack.
Do you have a favorite Duke? Bo…Luke…Daisy…coy…vance
“We ain’t in the moonshining business.”
Who do you cast as Daisy Duke? I mean…there are shorts named after her.
Weird…they have a body double for Daisy’s butt?
Is Lowenbrau fancier than Miller?
haha…bo bo…Driskill called him bo bo.
Do not ask a Duke about another Duke’s shucked corn.
Love me some Enos.
Just some good old boys.
haha…I laughed at the flying Bo with the helmet to that guys face.
oh man! Rosco! Pretty good casting.
I like the casting in this movie…it’s very 2005
haha…in any other context…a girl that is taking you over to Cooters…well it ain’t to pick up your car.
Crooked as a hillbilly smile.
“This will make a nice hat…or a slipper” – Cooter
Bo is a better driver than Luke.
Uncle Jesse went to Korea.
man…this movie dancing all around incest.
“Alright…knock off the grab-assing over there.” – Jesse
Uncle Jesse is full of jokes.
I like how they portray uncle Jesse as a little unstable.
man…Uncle Jesse’s pitchfork is mostly rust.
Jesse lost 3 toes in Korea.
Wonder Woman! When we gonna see Lee Majors…it’ll be a regular 70s reunion.
“I’m building a doomsday machine, gonna aim it right up your hieny hole.” – Cooter
I got 2 words for you….soap and water…that’s 3 words…Cooter gets it.
Cooters phone dials the dixie theme. It’s Cooters thing.
I think this movie is a good spiritual successor to the TV show.
I love they Knoxvilled this up. Like real cousins. I had cousins in the south…can verify…would kill you in the name of a thrill.
No Bo No. Go Bo Go. Bogo
Hey…it’s Super Trooper…Broken Lizard…I like Sheev
Armodiller Helmet…or soup bowl.
I need a net gun.
Also, not enough flamming arrows in my life.
“Man that rattled my spincter.” – Sheev
Pardon me…I got to go inside to wash my mongoose.
Cooter is a sick-o
General Lee!!! Man we loved our cars with personality back in the 70s and 80s
Oh no..they put the rebel flag on the top….I bet they wished they hadn’t of done that now.
He said “Hot pursuit!!”
haha…love that Bo loves the horn and Luke hates it. Do you have any idea how many guys around here had that horn?
“It’s my time…” -Bo
Haha…they addressed the flag on the roof.
…You anus? Enos.
Anal Bifida…not much of a reader myself.
“She’s down the hall…” Cavalcade of half naked chics….and High
The General is a he…not a she.
Ha! It’s Super Troopers! on a golf cart.
Luke has been creeping on Bo’s lady.
Right…that’s my name.
haha…I didn’t think about the blackface aspect.
The plan Bo outlines with shoe laces and to lasso the jailer’s keys is right out of the TV Show. Great point by Luke that they always wear boots in the series..where did those shoe laces come from?
Boss Hog is a pimp and a joke…”Don’t you know you not supposed to wear white after labor day.”
“Causes Bubba, this car feels kinda slow to me.”
They always show Daisy’s from the back with no faceshot. Got to be a body double.
I hate the word…undercarriage.
George Thorogood?…mixed with AC/DC?
Look at the road Bo….”It’s supposed to be my time.”
I think I am gonna chunda? chunder? vomit.
“What is the purpose this circle?” – Bo….haha. General Lee Circle?
Spot on for the jump stunts. So freaking awesome!
Enos is doing the pencil bending trick. Too busy to answer the phone.
How is Daisy Duke gonna survive this world when she loses her looks?
Cletus did not play a large enough role.
The Duke House is full of hidden passages.
Like a ground weiner you eat while wearing your armodilla hat.
How does the judge not know that there is a rally going on in town.
Nothing says rally race like Black Betty.
70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally
I never seen so much hot dog shoving. More hotdog shoving than a Hazzard Road Rally.
It’s my time!
What a 70s Smokey and The Bandit idea. In a race while being chased by the cops. Like you would not be disqualfied.
These Dukes may have mental problems. Maybe too much inbreeding..that they deny.
Lady Cops…Daisys only natural enemy.
How is Enos not 600 pounds…always eating.
You gotta win the race while running from the law.
Bo…time to shoot the moon!!
Surely the cops know by now that Cooter is a Duke lover.
Luke’s idea was to ram the cops? That’s genius.
Luke doesn’t have a license.
Phew…that was close…they almost lost Hazzard to Strip Mining.
This was a common theme in Dukes of Hazzard. For the people…
“I pardon him too!” – Applewhite.
Haha…Willie Nelson was known for smoking the plant.
A Chocolate Hotdog? A Hazzard Treat.
Luke is such a man whore.
Awww…Willie Nelson sings the theme song…excellent.
Love the car crashes in the credit. So that’s what happened.