Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Skiptace (2016) – FilmSack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

….and in this corner, weighing in at an astounding 425 pound and full of glistening Mongolian Beef…. it is MongoThe Manglerrrr….. and His opponent, now cowering in the other corner …with no honor, weighing in at a paltry 150 pounds a real jackass of a guy and a dude what makes faces that could be described best as constipated. It’s America Guy.

Now let’s get ready to….Nope… Wait! Player 3 enters the ring! Weighing in at 2 ducks and a chicken is the master of the two finger neck nap. It’s Too Old for this shit guy! Well, things just got interesting! and it’s over. That’s too bad.

Well, I’ve been your announcer guy and to answer your first question. I’ll have the chicken.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2238032/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skiptrace_(film)

TWITTER

Skiptrace (2016) – Like a two finger neck nap from Jackie Chan. Also, Not the brief nudity we asked for…but the brief nudity we deserve.

SHOW NOTES

  • Jackie Ass Chan Ville
  • Saban! Thanks Rangers
  • Sparkle Roll Media. Sparkly Roll!!
  • The Matador is the bad guy.
  • Take this watch…so my daughter will remember me. Jump pop!
  • Pulp Comic intro
  • Who let Johnny Knoxville pick the soundtrack?
  • Nine Years later…still Hong Kong.
  • I’m the real thang…
  • Bennie Chan…what a departure.
  • Handsome Willie in the house!
  • Lingerie to the face and knuckles to the neck = Jackie Neck Pinch.
  • Doberman is foiled with a tennis ball.
  • Doberman out!
  • Jackie Chan and his damn ladders…Ladder fu
  • NOOO…Not the watch! wait…it has a leather band? I thought it had a steel band….and I thought he was supposed to give it to the guys daughter.
  • Not the brief nudity we asked for…but the brief nudity we deserve
  • Dang Police Drug Raid.
  • Victor Wong is the Matador…who runs the Hong Kong Underworld.
  • Even in Hong Kong the police chief is an over-stressed dick.
  • Meanwhile, somewhere in Russia…a jackass
  • Russian code…bowling for jackasses
  • Johnny Knoxville doing The Notebook
  • The Houses and the Porsche and the other Porsche.
  • “To answer your first question. I’ll have the chicken.”
  • A real lady’s man…scammer
  • Fat guy is easy to hate when he is being a dick to his kid.
  • Macau!
  • Johnny Knoxville does a pretty good “Taken by beauty” face.
  • A flavor you would never suspect that would be so tasty
  • Lady lady is running from her boss boss?
  • Gross Asparagus pee flush
  • Crash Fu…that is what Knoxville has.
  • Alpaca Taser
  • Shotgun Wedding…Bowling Alley Wedding.
  • haha…Jackie Chan finally grew into his old man run.
  • Were there any stunt doubles in this movie?
  • Hog tied Knoxville
  • Delayed ball damage
  • “Who is this man?”
  • That is no girl…she is a woman.
  • A factory full of Russian nesting dolls
  • Trojan is the manufacturer stamp?
  • Knoxville likes them Goat Nuts
  • Taser water shock
  • If he didn’t unlock the phone right away he may be screwed.
  • Is Knoxville the hero in this movie?
  • 3 wheeled scooter thing
  • Hit him in the ding ding
  • He is an honorable person. Very highly valued.
  • Mongolia
  • This is a road trip across Asia? Mostly just Mongolia
  • Fiance 9 years ago. before the partner death.
  • Rolling in the deep.
  • All you have to do is charge a phone in the middle of nowhere.
  • Horse apples! Horse taking a shit in a scene…we are keeping that.
  • The Chinese have a lot of sayings.
  • Alpaca Drama
  • The Russian foils that always manages to anti-save Knoxville
  • Pig Skin Float
  • Jackie Chan can’t swim
  • Take down the Matador…
  • That kid gave them a faulty wish
  • Geez man…even after your partner died and trusted his daughter to you…you still are more concerned with the Matador.
  • Mud Festival…good for harvest.
  • How do they keep finding us?
  • What kind of popcorn contraption is that?
  • The singing bridge…YOU SHALL NOT PASS
  • That is some terrible green screen
  • Easy on the ding ding
  • ahh…Alpaca is his dream..
  • 2 finger pressure nap
  • He never told him about his parents.
  • Try the other thumb!! Try the other thumb!!
  • haha! her father was the Matador?
  • what! She is like a kid! you can’t ask her out.
  • That phone has one job.. to show a QR Code to a laptop
  • acid and cocaine
  • was the watch a tracker?
  • Why is he knocking on the door…she can’t hear him
  • What a dysfunctional family….a cop and his crooked partner raise a daughter and come together to save the daughter…honor
  • A wise man once said….
  • uh oh…unibrow baby

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Invasion (2007) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on… “Wait Is that Daniel Craig? Cause he looks a lot like Daniel Craig. Hmmm, does Daniel Craig have a brother?  Is there a Danny Craig…..maybe a Donny Craig? Hold up…..that is Daniel Craig!?”….

uh oh, I think I  just missed 15 minutes of the movie lost in some kind of Daniel Craig Brother Doppelganger mind loop… and for that brief moment… the world was just a little bit better for the possibility of two Craigs.

Twist ending he has a brother! Twisted Sister Ending he also has a sister. The Craigs….more interesting than this movie.

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Speed Racer (2008) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

First Name Speed…Last Name Racer.

…and now it’s time for “What you talkin’ about Theme Song?”

Where I will do my best to present talking points and avoid singing along the way.

Here he comes,  Here comes Speed Racer.

Hey, thanks for the heads up song writer. That’s not ominous at all.

He’s a demon on wheels, He’s a demon and he’s gonna be chasin’ after someone.

Let’s break that down. A “Demon on wheels;” Well, that is a thing we say about people who are driven.

However, the second mention of demon is not qualified with any sort of type. Which leads me to believe that this song is implying that Speed Racer is an actual demon. Well that changes things.

Oh what did you do Papa Racer!?

He’s gainin’ on you so you better look alive.

Holy crap.  The “chasin’ someone” is now no longer in question. It’s “you” who the demon racer is chasing!

Oh man!

Also, there are rumors circulating that Speed Racer lures little kids and monkey’s with Candy into the trunk of his car!

You nothing but evil Speed Racer!

He’s busy revvin’ up a powerful Mach 5.
And when the odds are against him
And there’s dangerous work to do

You bet your life

Speed Racer, Will see it through.

A Life wager! Nope! Nuh uh! Nope!

Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer, Go!

 

Straight back to hell ya doe eye’d demon!

Randy, what movie did you watch?

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

YeeeHaw and all that stuff y’all…and now it is time for some Theme Song Fact Checking,

I’ll try to read these lines with my fact checking voice…but I may break into song…no promises.

Alright, here we go….

“Just the good ol’ boys…”

Unproven….what we DO HAVE IS: a “Smartass” and a “Jackass” in an orange Dodge Charger

Next

“Never meanin’ no harm…”

Hmmm…Let’s see…more attempted cop killings than an Ice-T ditty. However, since you qualified it with a “never meanin…” I guess it’s NOT technically NOT true. sooo…

Next!

“Beats all you never saw…”

What?! No..What?! NEXT

“Been in trouble with the law…”

True

“Since the day they was born…”

I got to tell you, this whole story seems improbable…I don’t think we need to inspect the 2nd verse..

NEXT

Hey, Somebody get me the lyrics to the A-Team…I got some work to do.

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Greetings human, I am Dudley Duddits of the  Space Mounties and I am in pursuit of Donnie Duddits. He’s….uh…how do you humans say…special?

Apparently, he has emotionally attached himself to a cartoon dog with a speech impediment and hopes to endear himself to you humans by taking on these properties. Wow, this is more complicated than necessary.

Anywho, have you encountered such a being?

Also, did you know, it’s butt weasel season? Be sure to cover your orifices human.

Coincidently, we have been monitoring your people…and I have a friendly bet going with the crew.

if it is bestiality when a human attempts to mate with an animal…gross by the way…is it then called me-stiality when one attempts to please oneself? The Galaxy wants to know.

Geez, how much Oxy and Day time TV was King watching when he wrote this. Kiss my bender.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285531/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamcatcher_(2003_film)

 

TWITTER

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Like expressing something in 280 characters when 140 is sufficient. Still room for a Butt Weasels.

SHOW NOTES

This sure is a lot of opening credits

This was 5 minutes after X-Files movie?

It’s a dream-catcher and SSDD

EARLY GRAVE! I prefer being late.

King never shy’s away from Fat as Fear…

Memory Warehouse

Time to off yourself. Psycho Psychiatrist. Jonesy?

Great you just shot the guy next door.

So far…office jobs.

Is everybody Psychic?

another desk job.

Best fried clams in the state…that is a weird first date.

The key trick does not get you dates.

Half past 6…she ain’t gonna be there.

Jason Lee is the only one without a job. Unless you count drunk with a toothpick.

SSDD

Beaver has nothing. Jonesy has wife and kids.

Save ON MEATS!

As soon as we figured out a way to show people getting hit by cars on film. We used the hell out of it.

Otch Out Fo Miestr Gay

Bite My Bag.

Wait…Beaver got a blow job from a lady after Bingo?

Derry? Like in IT and other Stephen King small town stories?

In the movies. Kiss when you wake up?

Promiseland….reference.

 

Mental Warehouse.

Keep Duddits on the 3rd level

20 years out to Hole in the wall.

Duddits is our dreamcatcher.

Remember when….

Scooby Doo lunch box!

You want to eat half of this dog turd? I mean that is like 5 way turd

Pete can fly.

What kind of bully standoff is this. Happens all the time in Stephen King world.

Blue Buyousuusi

Oooby oooby dooo…

I duddits!

No Bounce, No Play…sometimes I think Stephen King writes down everything he thinks.

Jonesy’s brain warehouse is the warehouse where they meet duddits

Snow in the eye!! glasses..phew.

That’s no deer! That’s a maaan! A stumble man.

Jonesy got ran over by a car and 6 months later only has a limp.

Indian Charm…catches nightmares.

They keep the Dreamcatcher in the hole int he wall.

Is it on the wagon or off the wagon.

Henry forced the guy to eat himself to death. Is that ever listed as cause of death?

Toothpicks are gross.

Mother used to feed me pea soup…

Have you been eating wood chuck turds?

There are fart jokes….there are lots of gross fart jokes.

If you need to urk. also, don’t take a shit in the linen closet.

The kids do not look much like the adults.

Know what is a bad idea…getting a run at a hill in the snow.

I’ve never flipped a car. Unsure if I would be laughing about it.

Peanut Butter calms me down. How do you eat peanut butter…spoon? butter knife? finger?

Great jump scare…saw it from a mile away…but still. Miss Roadkill got me.

Trying to keep a toothpick in your mouth while yelling at a helicopter.

Why is God (Morgan Freeman.) watching me with his huge prosthetic eye worms?

Is this SSDD? In other words is this just weird shit or has the day finally come?

haha…Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.

What the hell does No Bounce, No Play mean.

Turd is a clinker.

Did you guys used to soak toothpicks in cinnamon?

Humor and Horror go hand in hand.

Blue Bayou comfort song.

Blue vs Gray?

That is one strong worm creature.

Oh man…that door handle coming off in your hand…that is the worst!

Beaver made a sacrifice. Was his power premonitions? bad feelings? I got a bad feeling about this Jonesy

That is one big alien. He’s translucent…and slimy.

Oh…his head popped into a red mist…gross.

Time to mobilize the military.

Is it my imagination or are Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows even bigger in this movie.

Named after that broad in Aliens.

Grey Boy look…

The Shit Weasels!

Blue Boy…Bucko

The alien only infects some.

We are not regular army…thank goodness Maple came in to explain it back to us.

Oh…do not Scout’s honor when the general has a loaded gun.

So much blood in this movie.

25 years he has been fighting aliens.

In Fast and hard , out clean and smiling.

She ain’t napping for farts!

The scene everybody loves…the Jonesy snap to smile.

The truck that handles like a luxury car.

Know things. Talk to one another. Duddits gave them the gift.

Writing your name in the snow….dick chomp!

Fire to the crotch is the only way to stop those things.

Mighty Mouse is on the way!

Beaver had nothing in his head.

 

Pete knows Mr. Gray is a bond Villian.

whisper messages while talking. Repeat emphasis?

The red stuff looks like rust for organics.

He used Beaves catchphrase.

Did he not notice the dead man in the tub?

Oh. They lay eggs…really gross eggs.

Liquid Fire!!

oh no…they already hatched!

King uses leaches and wormy things a lot.

What is up with these guys and dropping sticks.

Can you light a match with your finger? Strike anywhere matches.

ohh…they use a maneuver called dreamcatcher with duddits in the middle.

Love this music they use when trying to locate the missing girl. It reminds me of 90s Goosebumps music.

Kids love hanging around trains! In King stories anyways.

Alien space crash.

I’m that dog. I’m that monster.

Aww…the greys are so swee….oh fuck! What are those things! Wormy shits…kill ’em all.

That ship has a self destruct and boy..

Bite my bag.

Wait…has he infested Jonesys body or is he mimicking it? Cause he just morphed into an alien.

Where is Jonesy? Is he in the head?

Grote…don’t eat the meat!

He’s got 4 boxes of Duddits…I could eat 4 boxes of Duddits at the movies. mmm…Milk Duddits.

That is a lot of hazmat suits.

Do we still say “Getting too old for this shit?”

The study shows squats.

A hitchhiker is our greatest fear.

Blue Boys, Blue Zone, Blue Camp. Blue Blue.

Shop at Walmart and never misses an episode of Friends

hehe…in true military fashion. He calls Eddie Dr. Boston…cause that is where he is from.

Over the Curtis line!

Time for some Star Wars wipes….lots of them.

call 1-800-Henry…that ain’t even numbers.

How much crack am I smoking right now? The gun is a phone. MY GUN IS A PHONE..EVERYTHING IS A PHONE.

Nice sweater jacket. Lukemia! No…not Duddits! Not the duds! Also, those Scooby Doo lunchboxes are indestructible.

Victory pose mom!

Uh oh…that gun has a tracker in it.

Keeping an Asian in your Truck closet.

What happened in Montana? Several mentions. Shit must have went bad. Tell us that story!

Wipe!

He ate the trooper!

Poor old Donnie. He looks sick!

Mr Gay is Mr. Gray. Mr. Gray wants war…or water. Duds

One worm…One worm to kill the world.

Would the military let a helicopter just fly away without pursuit?

WIPE

Go faster! Oops…car and snow no go. No Snow. No Go.

That may be overkill to kill somebody with a helicopter.

Mutual Kill.

Morgan Freeman wore fake eyebrows! What!

Shoot him! Shoot him!

How heavy are manhole covers?

I can understand that big eel weasel getting int he water and causing problems. But that little jiggly worm would prolly get eet.

So the alien was inside…but is a mist? that can become solid? or did it come out of his butthole? or did the mist come from his butthole?

I want to dress as Duds for Halloween.

Duds needs to blow his nose.

Duds is heavy man. Heavier than he looks.

You thought you got me…I got you!! I Duddits!

Do all aliens have scorpion tails?

ew ew ew…red stuff! red stuff!

squish.

But to black!

Meanwhile back at the hole in the wall.

Fuck Me Freddy

Kiss My Bender

Bite My Bag

Fuckaree/row/roo

Jesus Christ-Bananas

Doodlyfuck