I’m Carl Weather’s right arm. No…over here….your other right. You may remember me from such movies as Rocky 1, Rocky 2, Rocky 4 aaaand Rocky 3. Sure, I’ve done other things…like Football in the early 70s and later on some TV appearances…oh and that one time in Close Encounters of the Third Kind opposite Richard Dreyfus’ Potato Pile. Who acted better? It’s a tie!
Anywho, I’ve been hitting the gym pretty hard these days preparing for my latest role that pits me against Arnold Schwarzenegger’s right arm. It’s going to be epic Arnold!!, Yooooou soonnn of a bitch! Mid Air Muscle Arm Hug…Locked and Engaged….yeah.. Look at that flex! It’s like porn for bodybuilders! I mean just look at that oily, buttery smooth….vein? yech.
Wait, hold on a second. What’s that Mac? You say you saw something in the woods and now you must annihilate it. I’m in!….brrrrrr…yeah! brrr…is this the sound of a chain gun? anyone got a better one…yeah… look at those arm muscles giggle…
Hey can arms have penises? it’s like porn for bodybuilders! Oh…that’s too far for this movie? Really? What’ever…this movie humble brags about the size of a ladies vagina…twice!
Hey, look… is that the demon who makes trophies of men..is he headed this way? Noooo! I’ve been severed from Carl Weather’s torso…but who will feed me my steroids and flex me on the daily! Nooo… oh wait…I still have a gun… brrr… Randy, you son of a bitch……git to the choppa.
Hey, do you think Carl Weather’s arm is still in that Central American Jungle? I mean he doesn’t have it in that Adam Sandler Movie…Happy Gilmore…or in Little Nicky…Chubbs Peterson?
Predator (1987) – This movie will make you a damned sexual Tyranna-saurus, little tiny arms… just like me. You son of a bitch. Rated R for some mild language and muscly arm porn.
- Space…the final…gaaaaah
- Meanwhile, a bunch of choppers. This is actually a little Spielbergian and Apocalypses Now
- Early morning smoke.
- Jim and John wrote this!
- Love this music
- Some damn fool accused you of being the best
- You Son of a Bitch Scene…
- CIA and pencil pushing
- You got no style bitch.
- Berlin….job in … passed on Lybia. We are a rescue team…not assassins’.
- 1 day operation. grab the hostages. A couple of our friends are about to get squeezed. bounce back across the border.
- Dry Razor burn…Reading boy (whose wife has a house sized vagina) Puts on the makeup. Chaw boy…want some…make you a sexual t-rex.
- Welcome to the Jungle
- Love this music!
- Chopper down in the trees.
- Heat Seeker..
- Native American tracker.
- Do you remember Afghanistan?
- Kick the bird!
- Jim Hopper? I knew this man. Green Beret.
- American Mercenaries.
- What happened here Billy?
- Predator Vision, we had never seen anything like this before.
- You’re ghosting us motherfucker…I’ll bleed you real quite…leave you here.
- Well that is odd…I don’t think I have ever heard a bird like that before…..gaaaahh…neck stab.
- What the hell is he doing? A feat of strength.
- Stealth until you don’t have to stealth no more.
- Did you put the truck in park? Fool…it ain’t got no back tires.
- Apparently…they are assassins.
- Good lord…how many Guerillas were in that camp.
- Stick around….Knock Knock…I didn’t just want to kill you…I want you to feel back about it.
- I ain’t got time to bleed…you got time to duck?
- My men are not expendable…
- “I wouldn’t waste that on a broke dick dog.”
- Got a scorpion on your shoulder…got it.
- Geez you got a big Vagina…you got a big Vagina…why did you say that twice…see…because of the echo…oh…that gets a laugh.
- You killed the Scorpion! We are like brothers! Damn mammals killing my kind. Oh…it is on.
- You bringing her? She is your baggage.
- I can’t trust you anymore Mac.
- Come on sweetheart…stop sandbagging it.
- Agent Man.
- What’s got Billy spooked…and his damn nose…it’s weird.
- Stick to the face!
- Hawkins is 1st dead of the group.
- We found Hawkins insides…where is the rest?
- The jungle came alive and took him…
- Hopper…they did the same thing to Hopper.
- Ventura wearing that MTV Shirt and chain gun.
- Ventura 2nd Down
- What you shooting at! No questions asked…we just join in… You hate this tree? We help. Nice shooting Tex. Did we get it?
- Mac and Ventura…friend…they bonded over chaw and raw…shaving.
- That alien first aid kit looks painful and overly complicated.
- 2 packs of the mini gun…brrrrrrrr
- Billy is scared…and that ain’t good.
- “We’re all gonna die.”
- It killed Hopper…and now it wants us.
- I am going to cut your name into him….I carved your name into a wild pig…squeeee…where’s the girl..shit
- Blaine’s body is gone!
- He’s killing us one at a time…like a hunter…he’s using the trees.
- You speak English!!?
- We make a stand now…
- If it bleeds…we can kill it.
- What is the most elaborate trap we can set? We could pull the tree down…and tie it up…
- It can see our tripwires…maybe it can’t see this….
- Shaving the sweat away…
- When she was little…they found a man. El Diablo…only in the hottest years it happens…and this year…it grows hot. The demon who makes trophies of man
- What you gonna try next cheese…how about some Arnold Cheese….I am the bait.
- Git to the Chopper.
- I’m gonna have me some fun…. I am gonna have me some fun.
- Mac is the 3rd
- He didn’t kill you because you weren’t armed…
- What about Dillion…he was unarmed! haha…because..no arm…was that the arm he bro’ed up with?
- Dillion is 4
- Billy is 5…take a stand on a bridge.
- aaand…Ponch is number 6.
- Only leaves Dutch and the girl…
- Git to the Choppa!
- Don’t go chasing Waterfalls…stick to the rivers and GET TO THE CHOPPA
- So tired…face into the mud….
- Predators can swim…but they probably shouldn’t…since it seems to mess up their cloaking.
- What an interesting heartbeat…
- He can’t see mud!
- Where did he find his knife? He didn’t have it before.
- All of his traps require heavy lifting and flexing.
- Time to get muddy…buddy. Muscle Bound Muddy Buddy. Flex
- What…is he calling me out? Well…let’s get these fleshy butter cutters warmed up….I gots to go collect my prize.
- I sure hope this mud suit is convincing. Missed a spot…
- firing indiscriminate is the hallmark of these guys.
- Tree Hugging for your life.
- Knife on a stick! Bleed bastard…
- Oh no…you washed off your mud makeup!
- He is looking into your brains!
- Oh it just got real…he done took off his helmet.
- Still not a fair fight…he is like 8 foot or something.
- You are one ugly motherfucker…let’s dance.
- Backhanded by the predator….taught him how to punch.
- I am here…come on…do it now…kill me…not like that!
- Pile driver to the predator! It is merely a flesh wound. Neep
- If I have learned anything…it is that the predator is a bad loser…and laughs like a madman.
- Is that Radio active? Get to the Choppa!
- Aww…he got to the Choppa.