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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Gate (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

oh oh uh oh..it looks like someone has been messing with my 80s Big Bird Magic Slate board that I use or my show notes. I know. I know. it’s risky to keep something so important on something designed to be reused over and over again. But I do love the sound of peeling back the acetate sheet from the slate as the words are ripped from the page and the comfort in knowing that everything I write about Scott can easily be erased from existence with a simple flick of the wrist. Scott is a poopy head…rip! Scott smells like a poop…! BTW most of my Scott insults are poop related…But he will never know…RIP!

Anywho, Perhaps my Magic Slate board is trying to tell me something. Aca-Kuto-Alla-Eta…hmmm…that’s just nonsense. Rip! Alright, I guess I’m winging my intro this week.

oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we are opening “the gate” to pure 80s horror in this low budget film by Hungarian director Tibor Taka…Whaaaaat in the fresh hell is that..

Hey little demon minion..may I assist you on your travels? Oh I see. Yes…I believe you are looking for the Johnson residence. oooh ooh ooh ok. Yes…Utah…right…Here, I’ll just write down the address on my backup Magic Slate featuring Kermit the Frog…..I know…you minion guys love these things..now hold still.. Oh…just let me clear this first slate real quick..Scott eats poop. Rip!

Good hunting my tiny demon assistant friend.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093075/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gate_(1987_film)

TWITTER

The Gate (1987) – “Demons aren’t going to ring the doorbell Glenn…Well apparently they do Al. Now throw that bible into the hole like some kind of holy hand grenade. Somebody get this dog a beer.

SHOW NOTES

  • Who sponsored this kids jacket…everyone!
  • Typical 80s suburbia
  • Kid home alone…nothing scarier
  • No Pleasure…It stinks…no pleasure MTV video
  • That is a big hunk of red meat.
  • Momma doll…up in the tree house. I had a tree house.
  • From dusk to dark in the matter of minutes.
  • Chainsaws are the worst to be awaken by.
  • It was just a nightmare. or was it.
  • That tree laid an egg. Geode..
  • How much can you get for a big one…geode.
  • Like worst fear as a kid while digging.
  • The size of that splinter! Don’t bleed in the old gods demon hole!
  • Look at the size of the geode
  • Alexandra..don’t call me Al. Al is all grown up…no time for little brother.
  • Ever since I burn a hole in the roof…dad won’t let me shoot any rockets.
  • Demon Moths!
  • dammit Glenn..this hole is getting worse
  • 3 whole days.
  • If Terry jumped off a bridge…sure…Terry has great jumping skills
  • Grounded for digging holes!
  • Dad made Glenn cover the hole and then is grounded.
  • Terry’s Mom died last year and is weird now.
  • There is a construction guy possibly buried in the walls
  • Why did I bring these demon moths into my room! That’s cruel…and now they are dead.
  • Give the dog his pills…and no parties…PARTY!
  • “Somebody get this dog a beer.”
  • No one has ever had a house party while their parents leave for the weekend.
  • This dang Geode will not split.
  • Glenn Power this geode.
  • The dog is 97
  • Don’t read the words ! What the hell is wrong with you kids
  • This Ghostbusters sounding scary music during the scary
  • “I believe it girl…” We made up stories to explain the extraordinary…I BELIEVE IT.
  • Time to levitate
  • Let’s see if we can levitate Glenn…c’mon Brad.
  • One Asian Guy…One Black Guy…a collection of white kids from the 80s
  • Dad is going to be so mad at me….first the roof.
  • I believe girl is a witch…burn the witch!
  • Stubblefield pants me too. I barfed on Steve Slavick.
  • We are scared…we levitated Glenn.
  • Do these pajamas make me look fat?
  • No Terry! That ain’t your mom!
  • Dammit…You killed Angus! Why Terry! You hugged to the death.
  • He was 97…they don’t live much beyond that.
  • Killer Dwarfs …thanks Terry.
  • Are we eating Angus…don’t worry about Angus…you just eat your bowl of meat Glenn.
  • So he loves rockets…is his name really Glenn? or is he named after the restaurant
  • Heavy Metal dialogue….lip sync The Dark Book album.
  • Convenient …Terry has the one album that explains it all.
  • Who keeps a bag of garlic hanging in the kitchen.
  • Woo…dropped the F bomb.
  • Stupid Al…I’ll just launch this rocket I was going to give you.
  • “Sorry Glenn…you got Demons ” – Terry
  • Sacrifix!
  • The old gods…those are the demons.
  • Terry is insane anyways…he doesn’t even have sheets on his bed.
  • The hole. The Geode. The Levitation. THE SACRIFICE! …and straight into the hole you go Angus.
  • The Gate is just cracked open
  • This album has it all…even back masking to close the gate.
  • We accidentally summoned demons..but don’t worry…we got it…we used the album.
  • awww…Al..you’re back…No beach…just good quality family time.
  • 2 human sacrifices!
  • “Demons aren’t going to ring the doorbell.”
  • Suck my nose until my head caves in…foreshadowing.
  • But if Terry is behind us…then who is in the bed? eek
  • Scariest part of this movie is the 80s hair
  • Everything catches fire
  • what now…THE BIBLE
  • They need 2 human sacrifices
  • Relax…I’m gonna read the last verse.
  • Terry just threw the bible in there like some kind of holy hand grenade
  • Don’t jump on the gate! are you insane
  • She put the boom in boom box
  • They keep reconstituting into some kind of demon Voltron
  • If it requires 2 D cell batteries we are all dead
  • Happy Birthday Al
  • That may be the best flipping I have ever seen in a movie
  • and nobody else in town even noticed.
  • Al will never be allowed to babysit again
  • Wait. Angus is alive!?

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Full Metal Jacket (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Movie Sergeant Dunaway here, your Senior
Sack Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy mouth holes will be “Huh!”

Do you basic grubs understand that?

(Huh) Exactly.

Also, I can’t hear you. Sound off like you watched this weeks movie and enjoyed it.

Johnson, your new name is Grossman. Cause you think stuff’s gross. Good job.

Ibbott, I’m gonna call you Boris …cause you do a really funny Russian accent and also  because you are a little squirrelly. Like moose and squirrel. Say the thing!

Jordan, you will now answer to  Dicks…because that one time you made me laugh when you said something about a bag of dicks.

Now choke yourself. That’s it….ahhhh yeah.

Dicks, tell us about your job this week.

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Adventures In Babysitting (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week in Adventures in Filmsacking we leave the comforts of Netflix & Chill and head down to the mean streets of YouTube comments where Randy has gotten into a spot of trouble after an Internet troll who has stolen Randy’s identity (and his fancy rose colored Snachat specs (FANCY!)) and starts posting racially insensitive rhymes in the form of the blues. Bud da da da dum. No one leaves YouTube without lip-syncing the blues!

Anywho, time to hop in Ibbott’s rusted out 1997 Mazda Miata and see if we can save Randy before he has to fight a hobo for a wiener in the Apple store. Man I sure hope we don’t run into any trouble along the way!

Hey, has anyone seen my cleaning gloves? I think I saw Elisabeth Shue wearing them earlier.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts Thoughts

Project X (1987) – Show Notes

Intro:

Oh hi and welcome Cadets to  Project X or as I like to call it Project “What Could Possibly Go Wrong.” Here we have assembled an elite force of Air Force pilots to train a team of carefully vetted primates who we will be working with to test the effects of radiation exposure on pilots in case of a second strike scenario.

Just kidding, we actually gathered the Bad News Bears of flying military personnel to train some chimps picked by a guy on a dock somewhere… what was wearing a “sorting hat.” We then takes those chimps and have them fly through some “bad juju” complete with a Jack In The Box style Global Thermal Nuclear Device that I use to heat my coffee. Shall we play a game? Goliath, my coffee is getting cold. Give it 2 more rads, ya damn dirty ape.

Aim High!

Links

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_X_(1987_film)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093793/?ref_=nv_sr_2

Twitter:

Project X (1987) – Like an actual portrayal of the Air Force; bunch of flying chimps! Just kidding, don’t bomb my house ya damn dirty apes.

Show Notes:

Roll that beautiful stock footage!

Poomba!

That is one serious giraffe. Shoo…fly away bird

Do you ever feel like a giraffe is staring at you?

I know what you did last summer

Meanwhile down at the “Apes for Ants” cafe.

“eat the bug off my stick! eat it! ”

It’s a brush full of  men!

‘Don’t shock the monkey! Cause he’s an ape!”

James Horner does the music! it’s been a while!

Let’s make a deal with the overly enthusiastic  animal poacher.

Who is this guy? The monkey whisperer? The Calaban of apes….he’s the sorting man. Kind of reminds me of Curious George and the man in the banana suit…HAT!

Aww…look how young…no…not the ape… Helen Hunt.

gif by Scott Johnson

Virgil.

This means apple…also, pointing to this apple means apple.

Is it a good idea to eat the monkey’s apple?

Why does the sign for apple look like “She’s abusing me in the face officer.”

“What time is it?” Half past a freckle on a monkey’s ass.

Virgil wants to fly! Just like back at the “I’m Ape For Ants Cafe”

Wonder if that is a real monkey making noises or if it is Helen Hunt?

“No, it’s not play time.” This movie could be subtitled that. Space X: It’s Not Play Time.

gif by Scott Johnson

That is not a real clock dude….what is the sign for “dumbass.”

Virgil is hairy; not stupid.

The National Health Foundation.

Man, I thought cats were expensive. 15k to buy. 10k yearly upkeep.

“Virgil, Fly…like bird…like in Wizard of Oz. Cept with Apes. Why should monkeys have all the fun. Helen Hunt kind of looks like the wicked witch.”

How convenient…Virgil joins the air force. The monkey dreams of flying one day…joins the air force…oh c’mon!

Them monkey are excited to see Virgil. FRESH MEAT!

They ain’t ever going to let him fly again…not in that shirt.

Bueller doesn’t seem like a screw up. wait..

Cue the silly music.

Rule: pound for pound 7 times stronger than us.

“No funny stuff mister” – Do we still say that?

gif by Scott Johnson

Clapping monkey doesn’t know when to clap. “Yay! oh wait…YAY!”

up…up…

Lady with the blond hair…all lady with blond hair look the same to Virgil.

What is Broderick mopping? Is it ape pee? I hope it’s ape pee. or is Broderick sort of the Clarice in this situation. Whenever you walks by the cage/cells Goofy throws ape goo at him.

Moon is in the seventh house but I’m still knocking on the 6th door. Pretty sure that is a rock ballad from the 70s

Circus Chimp. They are the worst. Smoking. Trying to get me to win a prize for my pretty lady.

Humans are stupid. End sentence

captured by Scott Johnson

Thank goodness for sign language lady from United Way who quickly taught Broderick basic sign language.

I don’t believe it! You must have been a united way ape!

dumbass…what did he expect the monkey to be signing. Of course he is signed out. He’s in a cage…you think he is going to be signing “Penthouse Magazine?” That is a totally different gesture.

A new girl in the neighborhood! Let us out…what is the sign for making it like a couple of apes?

gif by Scott Johnson

All of this sign language could been resolved with pointing. Teach an ape to point.

Virgil is making friends with everyone! He’s fulfilling all of the ape desires!  Virgil knows all…he even knows Broderick wants to fly. He’s more than smart..he’s the wishmaster.

He’s an ape genie.

The Joy Of Signing.  We’ve all read it?

Diamond shaped smile ape freaks me out. Make my Diamond face.

great…now my nickname is razzleberry. What would be your Ape Nick name?

Maybe we rename Goofy to Homicidal maniac.

gif by Brian Dunaway

Virgil just got his blue belt…err…collar…TOTALLY not ape slaves.

Pretty sure kissing your trainee is frowned upon. That is like teacher/student loving right there…and that is wrong…right there.

What happened to Watts? Man in the Bucket.

Blue Beard. Walking the mile…walking the ape/chimp mile.

 

Before drones…apes were our best bet to mitigate human losses?

“Trainer evacuate chamber.” – me when playing pokemon go and taking a poo

Slow motion staring ape is scary as hell.

mmm…that’s some good radiated coffee. “How many rads is this coffee son? Give it two more rads would ja”

gif by Brian Dunaway

“Lord of the Apes.”

gif by Scott Johnson

Giving our Apes cute nicknames was probably not a good idea. Unless you want to call them things like Chicken Nuggets. Bag of Popcorn. Defrost.

Come on Virgil. Straighten up…You are making it so easy for me  to want to zap fry you Virgil.

Jimmy fell for the oldest trick in the book…”lemmie see your BIC pen for a minute. GO GET IT BOY!”

“Red Collar equals gurney nap.” – Virgil’s mind

Virgil is a tattletale! “GUESS WHAT I SAW! Hoo hoo hoo! Screech! Gurney Naps For All! hoo hoo hoo”

Trope/True – Old white men are evil.

Not the red neck! Anything but the red neck Jimmy!

Movie Logic: Cause I learned sign language…I am smart at other things as well. I am practically human now.

No way if you break into a room of your superiors and run your mouth do you not get thrown in the brigg.

Off Hour Entry – EpPPpppPpp

Apes stakes good! <- what?

“Way to go Jimmy…we had everything under control until you set off the alarm. Now our sky light escape is ruined Jimmy…Ruined!” – Virgil Ape

Who was Goofy calling on the phone? “Hello, I would like 2 dozen pizzas delivered to the lab the air force base.”

Goofy Bird to you Doctor!

Does Clappy have a nickname…cause I’m calling him Clappy.

Oh how the tables have turned. Good thing we have guns in the locker room.

Quick. Throw away that soda and pizza plate! The doc is here!

Lights Off…Light on…Lights Off….sure I fly experimental planes all day…but this….Lights on…Lights off…this satisfies my OCD…Lights on…Lights off.

…and you wonder why we lock up apes…look what happens when you let them out…they go all Planet of the apes on ya!

Uh oh…you released the radiation pod you fools!

Well..that is what happens when you go all 2001 on the radiation pod Goliath

You want a cig Goliath? Too bad Spock face. Now live short and die.

Virgil is way smarter than Goliath. Cause…sign language!

What is the end game here? You are still a bunch of monkey’s in a plane. It’s not like the Air force is going to just let you go.

How much gas did that plane have? like a gallon. Monkey’s never had to fuel up in the SIM.

“Sir the bottom is too soft.” – please capture audio Scott!

You are free Slave Apes…now form a society of intellectual apes and enslave us humans one day.

Monkey names first in the credits. What about the humans!

Pretty sure this is how Planet of the apes starts.