Hold on a second guys, I have to make a quick phone call. Just a little upcoming party planning business.
ok…let’s see 1-800-Big-Ole-Teeth…hmm…that seems like too many digits. but what the hell. Ok…it’s ringing.
“Oh hello, is this Gary Busey? Oh good. Listen I am calling on behalf of an interested group who saw your spread in the July ’92 issue of Playboy. Yeah the one where you were dressed up in drag as your alter ego Mary Busey. Oh, you don’t remember that? That’s ok. Nobody does.
Anywho, we would like to offer you a job. What’s the job? Well, it involves you reprising your Mary Busey role and popping out of a cake for about 100 horny sailors to gawk at you while hooting and hollering obscenities and offering to pleasure you.
What’s that? You have two rules. One. You don’t do cocaine…. and Two. you don’t do cocaine, anymore. Well ok, I don’t really know what that means. But is that a yes? oh, You’ll think about it. Perfect. I’ll check back with you later this week.
What’s that? Do we have any other jobs available? Not that I know of but I could…oh you do some cooking. You have a specialty called “Krill flavored Bouillabaisse?” based role you once played in a Steven Seagal movie. Oh, what’s in that? Oh…gross..no. gross.
Listen I REALLY got to go but I am going to transfer you over to the guy who handles all the odd jobs. He’ll tell you “all about the time.” > Randy.
Under Siege (1992) – “I have 2 rules. One, I don’t watch Seagal movies, and 2 I lie about not watching Seagal movies.”
- Time to cook up some action on the USS Tommy Lee Jones
- Man. Do movies sound this good anymore?
- Drones make these fly-by shots look so much better today.
- Where are your whites? I got the dress I forgot the pumps.
- The Captain is afraid to put the phone receiver to his ear.
- 50 Year anniversary
- a surprise party on the 50th anniversary of pearl habor
- go get my pies out of the oven
- this miss july playboy is going to hurl
- Mad Billy and the fabulous bail jumpers
- Busey in drag is a big no for me
- Cueball has moves
- Get my pies out of the oven!
- The Disk Mr Pitt
- Commander Krill is whale food.
- No other memories or oversights
- They are professionals they can handle 20 marines and 100 cooks.
- Neck knife
- He has been waiting to use that microwave bomb for years.
- I like the fact he is checking to see if they are alive…even though they are most likely dead. Doing his due diligence.
- You killed my captain! Something to fight for.
- “Welcome to the revolution.”
- Chaos and Bedlam. UV and Top Soil. It’s a Brave New World.
- The Tom-versation with Tommy Lee Jones.
- They tried to kill him. He is going to revolution
- Deception is the name of the game.
- “Time is money on this job” – guy
- Seagal found a lady in a cake.
- So she was Miss February or July 1989 and now she popping out of a cake.
- “What kind of babbling bullshit is this?”
- “I’m just the cook. Just a lowly little cook.”
- Underestimate me.
- He sunk a North Korean sub…that Tommy Lee Jones.
- The president ordered the execution.
- “I’m the Road Runner..Never been caught…meep meep.”
- The safest place she can be is in a locker.
- “I hate being alone.” “Do you hate being dead?”
- If you walk by a port hole you become the port hole.
- He is a seal. After we establish Seal Team 5 is the best there is.
- How long can you leave meat just sitting out on a table.
- “I have 2 rules. I don’t date musicians, and 2 and I do not kill people.”
- I like that Seagal doesn’t talk to people like they are stupid.
- Seal Magnaphone
- …yeah…well…I also cook
- Best there is…until Panama…then the bad intel…punched out his officer
- Busey wants to buy the presidency
- Get to the choppa…no wait…blow up the choppa
- Seagal is really good at kicking people in the head.
- Forecastle is pronounced For-Cuss-El
- “it is morse code for Get me the fuck out of here.”
- Steven “do it all” Seagal.
- Casualty of the situation.
- Captain Krill…then President Krill
- I’m on a College Program. I do Laundry. I was ironing during Desert Storm!
- “Miss July come back here!” – Laundry Boy
- Death by iron beam…ouch.
- Colm Meaney with 2 phones.
- Is that a Russian Sub?
- Surface (sub) to air missiles took out Seal Team 6
- Seagal is really impacting their workforce
- I wonder how old that condom is?
- Seal Team Seagal
- Ha! Them guys are trying to hook themselves a Seagal. Holy shit that would hurt.
- There are only so many ladder points on these ships…you would think he would be pretty easy to locate.
- Colm Meaney is a meaney in this movie
- Busey wants to be a leader.
- All of my life… Saturday morning cartoons…the best.
- We’ll just blame it on the cook! Turds
- haha…that guy tried to leg sweep Seagal! Not happening.
- Seagal can do anything…except smell Tommy Lee Jones.
- That knife in that meat is totally going to be the end of him.
- Don’t get in a knife fight with a cook!
- “We are the same.” No huh!!
- haha…I forgot that Seagal did the eye gouge and knife to the top of the head.
- Load the disk! that is not how you load a disk!
- yay! they did it
- I’m afraid of needles.
- Wait! So he kissed the lady? They had zero chemistry…
- Show me your moves.