INTRO Oh hi, I know as a priest and as a member of the gold man group here; I’m not really supposed to chit chat..however, does this body paint make me look fat? No? It’s all those cheeseburgers from the Burger Pharaoh? Well, that’s rather honest. Your Strength gives me Read more…
Dear Mr. Zissou (Zee-sue), my name is Brian and I’m 11 and a half years old.
Today my mom took me to see your latest documentary. As you can imagine, I have questions. Most are related to oceanic curiosity and others, well nipples.
I couldn’t help but notice that you have nipples around the size of tic tac’s while others in your crew have nipples up to and exceeding pepperonis. Why is this? Is there an evolutionary reasoning behind this phenomenon? Also, my mother requests that “The Harlette” put on a t-shirt. I assume she is talking about the guy maxing out to dinner plate size.
Well, I think that about covers my nipple questions. Now onto more Aquatic type queries.
Do fish have nipples? My mom says no. Her boyfriend says maybe.
Also, Possibly your son, Brian for now Zee-Sue
Sept 19th, 1983
Ok Ok. Kate is 9 now and she is losing her faith in Santa Clause and as her dad and I have to fix that.
So I’ve climbed up here on the roof of our house on Christmas Eve and I am going to shimmy…..down the chimmy…hehe…chimmy…AND deliver these age appropriate Christmas gifts for my darling Kate. Who hates Thanksgiving. Weirdo
Ok ok, Straighten up Santa…time to take inventory.
Let’s see, Weird pet from ChinaTown. Check.
Santa Clause Suit 2 sizes too big from ChristmasTown aka JC Penny. Check.
Belly full of Egg Nog from Dorry’s Tavern. Check. Check Checkity Check.
Ok, Ho ho ho, Here we go.
*Grunting and squeezing…a little too fat.
Oh, Hey little fellow what are you doing out of your box. Eww and why are you all slimy and gross.
Move you stupid thing you are gonna make me fall and break my neck. Oh no no no
The end. Merry Christmas Kate!
This week in Adventures in Filmsacking we leave the comforts of Netflix & Chill and head down to the mean streets of YouTube comments where Randy has gotten into a spot of trouble after an Internet troll who has stolen Randy’s identity (and his fancy rose colored Snachat specs (FANCY!)) and starts posting racially insensitive rhymes in the form of the blues. Bud da da da dum. No one leaves YouTube without lip-syncing the blues!
Anywho, time to hop in Ibbott’s rusted out 1997 Mazda Miata and see if we can save Randy before he has to fight a hobo for a wiener in the Apple store. Man I sure hope we don’t run into any trouble along the way!
Hey, has anyone seen my cleaning gloves? I think I saw Elisabeth Shue wearing them earlier.
INTRO Oh hi! This is Brian Dunaway all the way from the other side of the Country. I hope everyone is have a great time at Nerdtacular 2017, pause for applause. too much pause… *listen and pointy fingers* I miss you guys. Scott, set me up…Scott…set me up. Oh Read more…
INTRO Oh hi! and Welcome to my cage of 90s era tech gear or as I like to call it “the Jar.” that’s right….”the jar..” why do I call it “the jar?” because it protects me from being bugged…however, a jar doesn’t actually do that now does it. No I Read more…