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Filmsack Notes Podcasts The Final Score

The Green Hornet (2011) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

911 what is the nature of you emergency? Uh huh. Right. Ok. Sir you do realize that sounds a bit racist. What does Jewish Humor Guy and Bruce Lee type even mean? Right. Right. So what is your emergency?

You were walking your dog on the street outside of the Jewish Humor Guy’s house and you were nearly ran over by the Bruce Lee type when the bushes and a parked car split open and the duo suddenly came flying out in their death machine of a car barely missing you and your dog?

Oh my, that does sound terrifying! Did you confront them? You did and what happened? The Bruce Lee type one inch punched your dog when it barked at him and the Jewish Humor Guy dry humped your unconscious dog’s body before running away screaming ‘Green Horny?’

Ok. Wow. Hold on one second and I will patch you through to McGriff The Crime Canine and he will come out with his giant cartoon dog head and flasher type trench coat and resolve this cartoon type problem you are having. Click. Take a Bite Outta Crime.

LINKS

Watch on Netflix (07/02/2020)

https://www.netflix.com/watch/70117699

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0990407/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Green_Hornet_(2011_film)

TWITTER

The Green Hornet (2011) – A man boy and his boy man take on crime in L.A. by becoming criminals themselves! Mind blown. Now make me some coffee.

SHOW NOTES

  • Is this the Bruce Lee one?
  • Weee! My Ken doll looks like a flying hero!
  • The Chauffer is too
  • Tell the major I am insulted!
  • Sent home again…after another school yard fight…I know you miss your mommy
  • Dad is the Sentinel
  • 750 Employees and you have to take care of yourself.
  • Trying doesn’t matter when you always fail?
  • My Ken doll!
  • 20 years later
  • I am very important…to the back of the club!
  • Now sit in one of my very comfortable chairs
  • I’m in charge of all the crime in the city of los angeles. I worked very hard.
  • Chud-Nofs-Ski
  • I got a see thru piano
  • My gun has 2 barrels …that’s not boring. It was very hard to make.
  • Hey you forgot your briefcase
  • Doing it in the the cars…on the cars…fast motion. We out!
  • Slurp-o-Chin-o
  • Dad died of a bee sting
  • Trying doesn’t matter when you always fail
  • Hey! Where is my leaf!
  • Kato…works on his father’s cars and makes the good coffee.
  • Kato made the coffee machine and the coffee
  • Sit with me Kato…tell my your tale.
  • Parents died. Shared life.
  • Shoot the car…
  • Kato is a beer top slinging master
  • Kato is a human swiss army knife.
  • Dad was getting paranoid
  • Chopping dad’s statue head ought to be good.
  • Hey look…it is some street toughs…witness it! Be a hero!
  • He has the spirit of a hero…and a sense morality…Kato has the skills.
  • Is Kato a robot?or just a fighting genius?
  • Head Statue to the shin.
  • Ahhh…I haven’t seen a good car launch in a while.
  • The Green Bee
  • The Green Hornet and Stinger
  • Ego Maniac or Power Maniac
  • You are old. Temp to permanent.
  • Rich Man Boy hooks up with Super Genius Skilled Mechanic guy.
  • Rich man with the plan.
  • What year is this? Car fax. Car Record Player.
  • Those green headlights.
  • Hanging shoes…I think we are in the hood Kato.
  • Business Affected
  • Ha! Daniel is the IT Crowd. Who is Daniel?
  • Smash Meth labs.
  • You so special. You have a gas gun.
  • 11 days hornet gas gun. See you in an hour.
  • Make me coffee is putting him back in his place. It was the gesture that freed him from servitude to brotherhood.
  • If I can’t have her then the boys can hang out. Conflict
  • Easily hurt feelings Crime boss.
  • We got an email.
  • How did he tape that phone to his hairy chest?
  • Ego Maniac like your father.
  • This fight between friends is great. I haven’t seen one this good since They Live.
  • Kato can’t swim….his one weakness.
  • When they are their weakest…give daggers out to everyone a million dollars.
  • Don’t be wearing or driving green.
  • Know what happens when you corner a hornet? You get stung.
  • Sushi Drive USB
  • I recorded this intro on my Sushi USB dummies.
  • Let us get honest. You know Karate.
  • Suicide Door Guns..Awesome
  • 3 Black cars
  • nuchucks were my idea
  • 2011 you couldn’t upload things to the internet from your usb drive recording device.
  • Bag o bombs
  • Is that gas mask? Just for yourself?
  • Paper Roll Robots.
  • I’m un gasable
  • Does the USB only fit in one computer?
  • OMG he didn’t even record anything!
  • Lock vision.
  • Double Dagger Death Eye
  • Fighting the police as much as the bad guys.
  • Ejector Seats. Good Idea.
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Mummy (1999) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

I know as a priest and as a member of the gold man group here; I’m not really supposed to chit chat..however, does this body paint make me look fat? No? It’s all those cheeseburgers from the Burger Pharaoh? Well, that’s rather honest. Your Strength gives me strength i guess?

Hey…don’t poke me in the belly.. Look what’cha did. You smudged my belly paint. Come here. Come on….so we can rub belly’s together like a couple of pigs in the mud. ooooh yeah…this is inappropriate as hell.

UH oh, hi Mr. Pharaoh sir. Us…oh nothing just some priestly rituals you wouldn’t care about….uhh…what’s that now… Have we seen your Mistress? Um…no…but if you are so concerned about her where abouts you really should have put a ring on it. No…I have not heard of the Hom Dai. aaaah…gotcha. In that case..c’mon on in My Pharaoh sir and head back to the catuary behind that thin veil there.

Really starting to see why they don’t let us talk. Hom Dai indeed.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120616/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mummy_(1999_film)

 

TWITTER

The Mummy (1999) – Like reading from the Book of the Dead…Nooooo…Don’t read from the book! Watch the movie instead! It’s still Juicy.

SHOW NOTES

Is anybody else hot? I’m hot. and I think I got sand in my underwear. Wait…I’m not wearing any!

Somebody has a furry obsession. Look it’s a man with a wolf head…no it’s a cat with a man’s head…no wait…that guy is wearing a beak!

Egypt is always about the big brass and drums and the tiny little wood winds…

Thebes…City of the living…5 blocks (Dunes) down from Not So Thebes…city of the damned

Hey I run Seti on my computer! I ain’t found squat.

Imhotep…bubba..the Pharaoh’s high priest…sup…I’m a high priest…sup..and keeper of the dead…sup. Do these brownies taste high to you?

No man is allowed to touch the Pharaohs mistress…should o’ put a ring on it!

A lot of bald heads and booty in this movie Golden!

BUSTED!

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” …. “nothing…just petting this cat…oh wait…this is just a statue.” Has that cat been touching you?

Cheap ass rub on tattoos

Some people should not be painted in gold…like a group of middle aged white guys with bellies pretending to be Egyptian. Who are these guys anyways? They just hang out at Imhoteps place opening and closing doors and eating too much?

Priesthood is not good for the abs in Egypt.

Hamunaptra, city of the dead – 1290 BC and the Black Book of the dead

He’s gonna get the Hom-Dia

Ummm…why would you kill someone by Hom-Dia if it meant they could come back with such great power?

Modern Day 1923?

Magi…the Pharaoh’s Body Guards ….Why are they so much more pale than their ancestors?

“Your Strength gives me strength” This guy

Don’t you close that door Beni…Hold Door! Hold Door!

Sand Face Sinkhole!

Star Wars wipe

Actually…Modern day 3 years later. 1926

3 volumes of Seth! That is 3 too many!

Who sets up library shelfs in a dominoes layout?

Erick Avari is always in the desert

Hi Sis! Stupid spoiled rich kids.

It’s the map to the place of the dead!

Oops I burnt it! Lies!

He looks like George of the jungle.

Now we have to watch him strangle…

He cleans up nice.

She wants to bring her parents back with the book of the dead? More valuable than gold.

She is hung up on that kiss.

he is the map… I’m the map

The Magi are very flammable

Race to the treasure

“Guess who’s got all the horses!!?” -“Hey Beni! You’re on the wrong side of the river!!”

“500 cash bucks” bet

Ancient Egyptian Secret.

Awww…he got her a brush kit

I hate bugs…What do you mean bugs? I hate bugs

For the record….don’t put me down for mummification.

Bugs under the skin is always a horror show.

Pressurized salt acid to the face!

The Umbrella man. Always running with his umbrella.

Don’t make me blow us up with this dynamite

Librarians need adventure too.

Death will come on swift wings for whoever watches this movie.

Be sure to read the Egyptian curse in an ominous voice.

“This mummy is still juicy.”

That key opens everything!

The librarian is going to Library that book.

“Nooooo! You must not read from the book!”

The 10 plagues of Egypt.

oh c’mon Daphne. Get your glasses on.

Ha…he’s walking like the old school universal mummy

That is not how taking eyes and tongues work.

Also, if you are going to steal some eyes…best probably not to steal the eyes of a guy with poor vision.That is why he thinks the Librarian is his love.

I have the same reaction when my cat plays on my piano.

Thanks for the Plague Report. 100% Chance of plague locust and boils.

Like sands through a keyhole.

Why did his face decay when he kissed her? is she cursed? has seen been kissing her cats?

I like Winston. Ha uh ha ha

“Hey Winston. Peddle faster!”

Poor Winston. Died what he loved doing….

This movie has a lot of mummy smashing.

love the sound and music in this movie. So good.

Still trying to escape with his gold.

 

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Dear Mr. Zissou (Zee-sue), my name is Brian and I’m 11 and a half years old.

Today my mom took me to see your latest documentary. As you can imagine, I have questions. Most are related to oceanic curiosity and others, well nipples.

I couldn’t help but notice that you have nipples around the size of tic tac’s while others in your crew have nipples up to and exceeding pepperonis. Why is this? Is there an evolutionary reasoning behind this phenomenon? Also, my mother requests that “The Harlette” put on a t-shirt. I assume she is talking about the guy maxing out to dinner plate size.

Well, I think that about covers my nipple questions. Now onto more Aquatic type queries.

Do fish have nipples? My mom says no. Her boyfriend says maybe.

Regards,

Also, Possibly your son, Brian for now Zee-Sue

Sept 19th, 1983

 

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts Thoughts

Gremlins (1984) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok Ok. Kate is 9 now and she is losing her faith in Santa Clause and as her dad and I have to fix that.

So I’ve climbed up here on the roof of our house on Christmas Eve and I am going to shimmy…..down the chimmy…hehe…chimmy…AND deliver these age appropriate Christmas gifts for my darling Kate. Who hates Thanksgiving. Weirdo

Ok ok, Straighten up Santa…time to take inventory.

Let’s see, Weird pet from ChinaTown. Check.

Santa Clause Suit 2 sizes too big from ChristmasTown aka JC Penny. Check.

Belly full of Egg Nog  from Dorry’s Tavern. Check. Check Checkity Check.

Ok, Ho ho ho, Here we go.

*Grunting and squeezing…a little too fat.

Oh, Hey little fellow what are you doing out of your box. Eww and why are you all slimy and gross.

Move you stupid thing you are gonna make me fall and break my neck. Oh no no no

The end. Merry Christmas Kate!

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Adventures In Babysitting (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week in Adventures in Filmsacking we leave the comforts of Netflix & Chill and head down to the mean streets of YouTube comments where Randy has gotten into a spot of trouble after an Internet troll who has stolen Randy’s identity (and his fancy rose colored Snachat specs (FANCY!)) and starts posting racially insensitive rhymes in the form of the blues. Bud da da da dum. No one leaves YouTube without lip-syncing the blues!

Anywho, time to hop in Ibbott’s rusted out 1997 Mazda Miata and see if we can save Randy before he has to fight a hobo for a wiener in the Apple store. Man I sure hope we don’t run into any trouble along the way!

Hey, has anyone seen my cleaning gloves? I think I saw Elisabeth Shue wearing them earlier.

Categories
Filmsack Notes

The Last Dragon (1985) – Show Notes (Nerdtacular 2017)

INTRO

 

Oh hi! This is Brian Dunaway all the way  from the other side of the Country.

I hope everyone is have a great time at Nerdtacular 2017, pause for applause. too much pause…  *listen and pointy fingers*

I miss you guys.

Scott, set me up…Scott…set me up.

Oh hi, Sho’ Nuff we done watched a chop stick of a movie this week and in honor of this hot chop suey Motown mess I sent one of my students down to China town to get some advice from Master Sum Dum Goy….He sent back fortune cookies. Let’s see what they say.

Fortune Number One:

You are deeply attached to your family and home. (Apparently)

Fortune Number Two:

You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it. (Toss it up baby!)

Fortune Number Three:

Stop Searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. (picture of Scott Fletcher)

Fortune Number Four:

You are always welcome in a gathering. (picture of Nerdtacular 2017)

and finally…

Fortune Number Five:

You need only to understand that it is not necessary it understand but only enjoy. (i kid you not. i have no idea.)

Thanks guys…oh…what is this…I’m feeling….I’m feeling all glowy!

Love you guys. Have a safe Nerdtacular.

Brian D

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089461/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Dragon

 

TWITTER

The Last Dragon (1985) – Like Superman 2 with Black Ninjas and Motown Music. BOW BEFORE SHO’NUFF

or

The Last Dragon (1985) – Like bad sushi. You’ll have your head stuck in a trash can faster than Richie can be a smartass.

SHOW NOTES

Let’s get right to the music and flexing.

Oh Motown. Why are we not using classic Motown music?

Is this Weird Al singing?

This is more crotch shots than I am comfortable with.

Let’s practice Martial Arts….and eat rice!! Chop chop.

Time to switch up to boxing

When your master tries to kill you while you are training. Take a hint.

Leroy is my karate name

The final level. You know without knowing.

Masters think stuff is funny.

Every Samuri needs a Master…or he is Ronin and nobody wants to be Ronin in New York.

How did you end up with Bruce Lee’s medallion? did you beat him up for this?

Meanwhile down at the docks…a black man in a giant hat struts his way to the subway and china town.

uhh…I am tryin watch a movie here. Jam box in the aisle.

Am I meanest? Sho Nuff Shogun

Shade shades.

The Shogun of Harlem is here to watch a movie…

This movie has more interruptions than a Friday night at my house.

BRUCE LEROY!! ahah BRUUUUUUUCE LEEEEROY

Skinny little lizards like you…

Balcony kick!

Off brand Nike karate shoes

Freezer full of pig.

This is like the Lex Luther of white people. What’s in that tub.

Coke is it!

I don’t like the portrayal of white folks in this movie. I LOVE IT!

The great white hopeless.

My video hot pick of the week is DeBarge

There is a DeBarge music video right in the middle of their movie.

You let the order A la carte!

Video Game King!

There is a lot of shiny shirts in this movie.

Who was the costume designer?

JJ the white guy.

Was Motown trying to reinvent itself?

Never say never at Heavens Elevator door. 7th Heaven  with my cloud crowd.

Eddie Arcadian does not like to be turned down.

The clown crowd thinks they have a chance with the star. Stalker bait.

Meanwhile, Leroy just happens by. EYE CONTACT…lots of it.

If you are going to fight like Bruce Lee you have to make faces like Bruce Lee

If these bad guys had cell phones they could have back up in no time. Also, none of these bad guys had guns. Just a switchblade.

Bruce Jerry Curl Leroy

Such magical music after the fight…and now he is gone. TAXI!

Dangit Leroy…you lost your fancy medallion

Angela is a hot 80s mess that looks like a pig pissed in her eye. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!

Yep…Leroy…you just had to be a bad ass didn’t ya.

Yeah…big black guys with chains and clubs.

Johnny the no Martial Arts Asian

Leroy is wearing that Bruce Lee thing

Limp Wimp Leroy.

Kiss my converse

The initial bullying from the bullies.

Rudy!

Black man with a pizza shop. Just direct ya feet to Danny’s pizza.

Why is Leroy talking like a weirdo. He grew up in that house…he didn’t come over on a boat from the orient. Kind of sounds like a robot.

Little Richie is a playa.

Leeroy can not rap.

That lady is always in trouble and Leroy is always there.

I’ve heard worser Mr. Arcadia

Good thing Leroy packed his Ninja outfit.

Also, Leeroy can chase down cars

jive Coolies? Cool Breeze. Leroy can’t get any slack… Everybody hates Leroy

Leeroy Green… Junior

Momma throwing dough at the Martial Arts gang.

This will not be the last time Momma Green is going to have to pull Richie out of the trash can.

Busting up the family shop. That is typical martial arts films.

Leroy doesn’t want to be a body guard.

Dental School dropout. She reminds me of the actress from Little Shop Of Horrors…

Sho Nuff got so much money he can turn down money.

Mr. Nuff.

Wait…he doesn’t have a paintbrush? Then he ain’t gonna be making much love.

Everybody owned a jam box in the 80s

Do we still have “Jack me up” music in movies? Usually, used in training montages. Used here during the Bruce Lee seduction scene.

“Chocolate covered yellow pebble.”

Of course! The Chinese connection. All life’s problems are solved by Bruce Lee plots.

Kung-Fu Head.

Is it really a disguise if you really are the pizza delivery guy?

Medium sized oriental

This should be offensive to Asians and African Americans. But it’s ok right…

Leroy’s battle is against his own stupidity.

THE MASTER IS A COMPUTER!

Sum Dung Goy.

Leroy…you are following Drunken Master.

What you wanna bet the golden glow is like after glow from sex.

That time when your master fucks with you. It is common place for the master.

The old “lock your buddy up or know him out to keep him from putting him in danger.”

Who is operating Arcadias camera on the big screen.

NO GUNS ROCK!

Golaith only has one move…but it’s hard to beat.

Who is that kid. I know that kid.

Richie is going to pop and lock his way out of those ropes.

Who brought the ghost of Mr T to the fight?

Hey Leroy!

The old “next time i will not miss.” Why miss! Just fricken do it moron!

Richie kicked the rock in the nuts so hard that he will never use that again.

Richie done caught a concussion.  We used to think that was funny.

Oh snap. Sho Nuff has the glow. You are so screwed.

This just went from Star Trek to Star Wars.

Sho Nuff…friend to Brisco County

Sho Nuff…just wants to know who’s the master.

He don’t want money…he don’t want fame…he just wants affirmation. Sho Nuff.

Sometimes he takes a drowning to discover who is the master.

Master’s always think shit is funny.

Sho Nuffs powers are on the fritz.

You are the Last Dragon!

Finally! Time to use the gun.

Catching a bullet in your teeth. Quick, to the mythbusters!

What will happen to all the arcades if you chain up Mr Arcadia

The police always show up just in time.

You are the last dragon you posses the power of the glow.