Hello, you have reached the home of “Vroom Vroom, Boom Boom, Black Car Goes Fast Incorporated” where we will get you from point A to point B with as many butthole squeezing close calls as a sphincter can handle. Seriously, if you have sphincter issues let me know now because there is a fee for cleanup. Now go ahead. I’m listening.
Uh huh. Right. Yeah. Look I’m not really taking jobs that involve shuttling rich kids from private school to mansions right now. but…uh huh…a favor for our mutual friend Tony … uh huh …and your wife is unhappy and attractive … uh huh … and there is a good chance I will encounter a myriad of bad guy tropes ranging from inner city street gang types to a shirtless Columbian and his equally scantily clad emotionally unstable henchman lady that has a licking fetish and there may also be some Russian scientists with a virus and at least one shirt pocket bird and a Jamaica Me Crazy Taxi driver but he’s not bad…just a little… high…uh huh….well to be honest I stopped listening at “unhappy attractive wife.”
Randy, your “death by rabbit tattoo” is showing. Sexy. What are you going to do with that Heineken and Honey in the fridge?
PG-13 | 2005 | Action/Thriller | 1h 28m
Mercenary Frank Martin (Jason Statham) has accepted a job that seems easy enough, as chauffeur and bodyguard to young Jack (Hunter Clary), son of crusading politician Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine). The problem is that Billings is crusading against an international drug cartel. They retaliate by kidnapping Jack and infecting him with a deadly and highly contagious virus. Responsible for the boy, Frank must reclaim him and then find an antidote before scores of innocents are stricken.
Rotten Tomatoes https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transporter_2
Transporter 2 (2005) – “What is the point in having rules if you can’t bend them” was the question they should have asked before making this movie. #youpromisedyouwouldntletanyonehurtme #thefirstonewasbetter
WHERE TO WATCH
Still Streaming As of July 15, 2022 – Records On : July 16th, 2022 – Last Day July 31st, 2022
Subs (Filmsack preferred)
HBO Max / https://play.hbomax.com/player/urn:hbo:feature:GYGc_BAsC4RemnwEAAAI4
MORE Options – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/transporter-2
No Time? Watch Highlight CLIPS instead
- Part 2! More Transporting.
- Gassman in your auto focused film…ok!
- Transporter 2… bigger…faster…Audi’er
- Sorry I have an appointment…and I don’t want to be late.
- You don’t want to do this.
- The car has a code.
- New…just came out of the dry cleaners.
- Just watching your fit friends get their ass kicked and going to pull out a little knife.
- Don’t you have homework to do…Late.
- Keith David! Noooo! Keith David gonna die ain’t he.
- Oooohhh… his new job is transporting
- The first rule of entering a man’s car. Respect the man’s car. The man respects you. Rule number 2. Greet the man. Good Afternoon Frank.
- Let’s play the game.
- 3rd rule of the car….click.
- I’m white…I’m round…but I’m not always around… A tennis ball… tennis balls are yellow. no…your fat daddy that abandoned you.
- Four points. Sometimes I’m half…sometimes I’m whole…
- 3 points…sometimes I’m bright… sometimes… A PIZZA!
- Last clue for all the points….Everyone wants to walk on me…but only a happy few ever have…IT’S THE MOON! THE MOON! Take your time.
- Mom..it’s the game…
- What is the point in having rules if you can’t bend them.
- He been doing this for a month. A Favor for Tony… over soon… We are all going to miss you when you are gone…is foreboding.
- Hey lady…I don’t want to hear about your separation.
- That is really sweet of you Frank…yeah…
- He’s not really a friend…he is French.
- Papa is a jerk
- Audrey is hot for driver.
- Uh…your giant antenna is showing.
- Who wants to fight in the back yard? not me…no.
- Lot of Sweating in this movie.
- Don’t toss the green stuff! We don’t want to have to use the purple stuff!
- National Drug
- Heineken and Honey.
- Extra Olives and Extra Anchovies.
- She has been drinking…
- Kissing…no…hugs yes.
- Rejected…now she is really going to want him.
- He sure ends up in a lot of parking lots.
- My problem is not medical…it is psychological.
- I hate shots. Number 1 …you don’t know if you are getting shots.
- My 4th rule…never make a promise you can’t keep.
- Yeah…these guys seem legit.
- Hey Trust me…I am Russian Doctor
- Check out my red high heels and death by rabbit tatoo
- A Lingerie gunner
- Look at me…look at me… remember my promise.
- Lingerie model assassin is a little upset
- prep the vehicle…
- Plan B. Yes…Plan B
- Jack’s birthday party…
- Hide everyone hide…in the pool Drowned.
- Let’s save the fun for later.
- No problem…Just going to jump from one parking garage to another…
- Thought complete.
- Search and Destroy…ex special agent.
- Once he got to a certain point…why didn’t he kick her ass.
- another time…another place…lick my face!
- What was the point of putting that thing on the car.
- $5 million dollars in 2 hours…and his name is billings.
- Frank you promised.
- A man who lives life by the rules.
- Hey Driver “pulls bird from shirt pocket.”
- ha! He could have just jumped out of the car…but noo…he transported that bomb to the sky.
- Love the music.
- A glove box full of burner phones.
- Screw Tony..did Tony set him up?
- oh hi Susan.
- that’s a pretty stupid question to ask right now don’t you think jeff.
- But they found your cooking in his house! I am french!
- Asking the fat lawyer if he has a kitchen
- and ipod! Old School…grab that data!…now it is on my ipod!
- Nooo…not the pregnant lady!
- Ski How Do you Doo! Flip a bikini lady…wouldn’t se have been better off just having hoped off.
- Have a good life…what’s left of it.
- 15 kidnapping cases in the past 2 years…15 dead kids.
- Frank the Chauffer.
- Send in Johnny Number 5. Miami Bomb Squad.
- Everyone is an expert…I’ve had it with all of you!!
- Get this robot the fuck out of my way. MOMMY RULES!
- You’re the devil. I wish.
- Dimtiri..you scared shit in me…listen Panasonic.
- That is one big fellar.
- the table swipe…
- oh good…more greasy Statham.
- Coconut fists.
- Boat to face.
- 4 hours before Virus is active.
- Tipov don’t need it.
- Virus has 24 hours…takes 4 hours to show symptoms.
- There are 2…you know there is only going to be 1.
- there was enough vaccine…why you toss it!
- seconds suit in the trunk.
- Hi Susan…
- No..he’s not…but you and your father are.
- I bet this kid has issues with needles now.
- how many cops and special agents do I have to beat up this week?
- Meanwhile at the conference… man this seems like a really complicated plan to kill a few people at a conference.
- My competition is dead…I wish the bad guys would put on some clothes.
- Bumboclaat Man!
- you are safe now…remind me of my Yellow Purple Rider….huh?
- that fire hose hurts me.
- I am the antidote.
- what part are you a little thick on.
- Columbian Cartel gun for hire.
- Are they going to have the fight sex.
- I really wish she would stop licking herself…oh…there you go…killed by the art.
- Lambo vs helicopter…steering wheel shift…zoom.
- If the bad guys would just shoot him already…this movie would be over…already!
- Free Fall fight!
- weeeeee. Rolling rolling rolling. Dead pilot flying.
- and now I transport for Aqua-man.
- ironic…being choked out with an oxygen mask.
- The answer is potato…the answer is always potato
- Ahhh good…I was hoping we would get Jamaica Me Crazy Taxi closure.
- Flight 69 to Paris…uh huh…uh huh.
- I’m looking for a Transporter….3!
- Dedicated to Michael Stone