Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Cutthroat Island (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes


Oh hi,

Well I got to go. Thank you for making the sweet sweaty 1600’s Caribbean love to me in your man wig, you heartless Lieutenant of the royal army. Ahhh..that’s right….I knew that you knew that I was the Lady Pirate More-gaaaahn and you were only fiddling with my lady bits to get to the bounty on my booty.

Oh don’t bother with your gun. See…I took your balls….well actually the monkey took your balls…anyway…the point is…I have your balls…so I guess the takeaway here is it’s a real Cuttscrote Island around here and you let a monkey touch your balls.

Now I must go ride horses as fast as horses will let you ride them…so fast in fact that they will have to film us in slow motion making it seem like we are going even faster…. yet… somehow slower. Confusing I know…but you have the next 2 hours to try and make sense of it all.

I can’t believe you let the monkey watch. Randy.



Cutthroat Island (1995) – I knew that you knew you would not like this movie. 2 hours later. Monkey likes to watch.


  • Yarr….CuttScrote Island! There…I said it
  • It is Lionsgate…oh ….and then another Lion MGM…how about a 3rd? Nope. Carolco.
  • Swashbuckling music intro….let us go on an adventure
  • Renny Harlin! Genna Davis! Matthew Modine! Frank….oh yeah…I don’t know him.
  • 1668 Jamaica Man.
  • There is an indication that there was hot monkey love.
  • She is a pirate!
  • I knew that you knew…I took your balls…well the monkey took your balls…anyway…the point is…I have your balls…good monkey ball taker.
  • Father sent for you 2 days ago…
  • She ride horse fast…the angry the human the faster the horse….Go horse go.
  • It is slow mo Genna Davis everything.
  • Our Brother Richard’s Bloody Map from his bloody dead hands.
  • The Reaper! Boat.
  • Harry hid the map in his head. Harry peg leg.
  • Taking an anchor dive to die….
  • Dawg is a bad, Uncle Mordacei
  • The Morning Star is yours. mmm veggie burgers
  • On his head…not in his head.
  • So that is a horrible plan….did he wear a hat while his hair grew back over the map?
  • Plopper, Squitter….Mandy Rickets…say hi.
  • Feeling up the Rickets
  • Man there are a lot of ugly people at the dance…how to have that casting call?
  • The men aren’t going to listen to you.
  • Daddy is dead…let’s get drunk
  • Holy hell….she scalped him! Did they cut that scene. Also, She can’t read Latin…or maps.
  • Port Royal.
  • 3 pieces of map. Dawg Brown. Harry Black. Mordechai, Red? Richard White?
  • The sword challenge…
  • Ah Latin. The Romance Language. – Stop your chatter and say something Latin’ish
  • 40 Pounds…sold to the lady with the monkey…
  • Knife to the ass.
  • The Monkey’s name is King Charles.
  • What a healthy slave trade in Port Royale.
  • Genna Davis; action star
  • At least his is proper slow-mo and not that trash slow mo.
  • Oh wow….”I must visit that shop again, when I have the time.” Genna Davis … “I find myself being fired upon by an entire ship”, “You certainly left your mark on this town.” – Modine
  • 200 pounds to find her
  • Who is this John Reed…writer.
  • So it was not Latin…but mirror writing…but he is a map reader as well?
  • Pirate writer.
  • Dinner for Crows.
  • Wow…how is Francis from Malcolm in the Middle so young in 95!
  • She found a Genna Davis look alike…I wonder if she was the stunt double.
  • “The old Turtle has its needs.”
  • She is going to take care of them all…later…
  • Harry’s Blessed Head!
  • If you were an Adams! Uncle Moracaieaiai
  • His map is well hid…is it on his ass?
  • That guy is a Chain-iac
  • Nasty Eel is Nasty…also, easy movie prop…just have an actor giggle it around.
  • The slave trade didn’t give her the key.
  • Accidental running through…you killed my brother!
  • This music is pretty tight but derivative.
  • Uncle Douglas Dawg remembers a lot about her childhood.
  • Mordechai Map was on a plaque? Board?
  • Was Mordechai’s place made of explosives?
  • That Hand Cannon was pretty sweet. Is that an actual thing?
  • Was that Barrel to the head intentional? I have a feeling there was a lot of happy accidents.
  • The numbers! On the Hand. 11, 75 and 42…it is the longitude….duh…what did you think would be on a map. As they relate to the hand?
  • His map was in the Eel Barrel
  • Congratulations Madame…that was another town you destroyed.
  • I have been shot!
  • It is festering….the ball in her wound….hot poker should do it.
  • Spanish Gold Ship. The Largest
  • Have you even taken out a musket ball from the body if you don’t drop it into a metal bowl and here it plink once you get it out.
  • Monkey likes to watch.
  • Monkey Smell No Evil
  • Uncle Dawg will have his day.
  • Using this Piratical Stuff for writing.
  • “In the boat under the seaty thing.”
  • that is always the answer in pirate movies…I will strand you.
  • Fly little bird! Take the map to the bad people!
  • I’m the captain of this longboat now. Row hard!
  • Uh…you missed Shaw.
  • We found Cutthroat Island! We don’t have a boat…but we found it.
  • So is there not 4 pieces to the map? at least one of those maps would be shit and useless.
  • Why is Dawg’s map all bloody? If it is his map and it the part that shows to actual treasure.
  • Underestimate the con man.
  • Bitch Stole My Map!
  • Do spiders bleed human blood?
  • Now he can smell her? He seen her flinching when she was a kid…
  • Quicksand. The trouble with liars
  • She just wants everyone to bend the knee…is that so much to ask?
  • Is that scalp getting flatter, smoother and less hairy?
  • The problem with paces is that they are paces.
  • Paces are apparently non-directional.
  • “Down the throat to the belly of gold.” Harry I found it.
  • Just a pile of treasure….perhaps the most unassuming pile of treasure I have seen.
  • I got 4 million pounds…let’s make a trade…gimmie Morgan
  • haha…They have a lot to say to each other don’t they now.
  • Love. Who can explain it.
  • Trotter is a goober.
  • Privateer of the crown…much better than pirate
  • Governor of Jamiaca is his aim.
  • Mor-Gone – Glasspole
  • King Charles in a box. Salut
  • Smile Mr. Trotter…Goood…Goood
  • Blair’s eye!
  • Mr. Shaw. ..hanging
  • I think Mr. Blair has a crush on Shaw…saved him
  • They are so many. We are so few.
  • Can she not hear him?
  • No…Not Blair! The wheel of doom!
  • That is a lot of back and forth at the wheel of doom.
  • Sure we could fight on the deck…but it is way more pirate to do it on the Main Sail
  • Join Uncle…you don’t have to die.
  • This fight is exhausting.
  • Ha! Bad Dawg…that was the payoff to the whole setup?
  • We are alive together.
  • I got me treasure…let’s do some farming.
  • You win the pirate lottery and you don’t quit your pirate job because you love pirating.
  • Madagascar is up next.

Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

GoldenEye (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes


oh hi,

Hold on just a second. They just delivered my mid 1990s v0ice activated Russian virtual assistant that is programmed to only respond to English performed in bad Russian accents.

Wow, it’s a lot bigger than I thought it would be! It’s like the size of a microwave. In fact…I think it is a microwave. No wonder shipping was like 7000 Rubles. But hey! Hot lunch!

Ok, there is a sticky note attached…”To activate…just ask your stupid American question….slug head…” oh…how rude… “flip note” … “just kidding, we are totally not always listening. Please use the wake word ‘Hey Natalya’ followed by your request.” oh…ok…I think I get it.

Hey Natalya, set timer for 6 minutes. No…I said 6 minutes. 6…minutes… Ok guys, this thing must be broken it keeps setting the timer to 3 minutes. Which is fine for a baked potato but not if you are trying not to burn the Beans, Sean Beans. Shaken but not dead. Oh sorry…wait…and…now he’s dead.

Alright guys, For England…

oh yeah and…“screw you, I said no Odd Job” or something like that.



Goldeneye (1995) – Like making your safe word “Xenia, I can’t breath.” Meanwhile in Cuba, unnecessary Crotch shot!


  • Hey is that Remington Steele?
  • Bring on that sweet James Bond Intro!
  • Oh…it’s a quickie…just gun and blood.
  • Dam plane
  • Is that Tom Cruise? He is running like he needs to be Tom Cruise
  • We need some bells shaking for this intense Dam jump…weeee
  • Bungie!
  • Meanwhile at the Chemical weapons shot in the USSR 1995
  • That gun can do everything!
  • Oh yeah…it’s 1995…nobody shits with a newspaper anymore
  • We all wanted Pierce Brosnan to be James Bond…how was his tenure?
  • 006 Sean Bean…shake them bells! For England Alec!
  • He would have been sooner but he had to stop off in the lou!
  • Alec just shot that Russian scientist in the back. Poor Show old man..poor show
  • Alec thinks half of everything is luck…and fate the other half.
  • Set timer for 6 minutes. Is that going to be enough time?
  • The double 0 teamup
  • The Sean Bean kill to death ratio is pretty good.
  • bump to 3 minutes
  • Gee I wonder if they will fake Alec’s death
  • Don’t shoot…you’ll blow the gas tanks.
  • A bum rush would solve this shoot…don’t shoot. Squeek…squeek
  • Geez man…why were those barrels under so much pressure…they came flying out of there.
  • All these poor Russian guys just doing their job at the plant and 007 is just doing his thing.
  • This Russian bad guy is the king of “Wait…let’s just see where this goes…” A little too easy.
  • So which half was luck and which half was fate?
  • Pluck pluck pluck pluck!
  • Ahhh…here we go…the intro. Funky
  • Goldeneye! I hope the bad guy really has a Goldeneye…you just never know with a bond movie.
  • Do I need to listen to the lyrics to predict the story.
  • 2 faced girl! Is she a double agent!?
  • Honey trap…it’s in the song..
  • 9 years later! Why he has hardly aged a day. So that would set the opening scene around 1986…Russia
  • Hey, it’s the next girl…Funky beat…funky beat
  • Scratch that record…weee
  • Can I tell you the number of times I have gotten into a “size of my penis” contest while driving?
  • Those cyclist are lame.
  • Leather seat frolicking and smooching are my least favorite sounds in a movie.
  • France? Countryside?
  • High stakes poker game for them high stakes car drivers…tuxes and fancy dresses
  • Those cards have no numbers or backs!
  • None of these French words sound French. is it French? Italian?
  • Vodka Martini…shaken and not stirred…or straight up with a twist…oh…On A Top!
  • Damnit…mimes! Why does it always have to be open air theater mimes in France!
  • use my monoscope to tack Yatch Manticore! On A Top
  • Note…that helicopter
  • No contact! Don’t do it James
  • Xenia Warrior Princess of the crazy bed lady.
  • Apparently their safe word “Xenia, I can’t breath” was a poor choice….for him!
  • These French workers are very French…
  • odd…she ended up being On A Bottom
  • The electronic Battlefield. The Tiger is Stealth and Hardened against EMP and so forth
  • You know the French and their airforce
  • Meanwhile Space Weapons Russia…a bunch of dogs
  • Select Mir…space station
  • This computer is voice
  • Boris would not know a woman if she came and sat on his head.
  • You know Russians…they like to sit around and use English with heavy Russian accents.
  • They are right in front of you and they can open doors
  • password: Knockers
  • The American’s are slug heads….they will never detect me.
  • You sit on it…but you can’t take it with you…the password. No way…I spiked them.
  • This movie is like one long “That’s what she said” gag.
  • Boris sent them a spike
  • A lot of voice recognition software in Russian in 1995
  • ahhh…Test fire GoldenEye…it’s a weapon then!
  • 2 satellites available
  • Fire the GoldenEye…I am timing you.
  • To fire the Golden Eye you need 2 keys and a UMD disc?
  • She likes killing a little too much.
  • They just hiding the GoldenEye in a space box?
  • Durn Russians and their Nesting Doll Satellite technology
  • Their best response time is 19 minutes..they’ll be late
  • Did she just lick that coffee off the floor! gross!
  • Moneypenny actress is played by Bond…Samantha Bond
  • Sarcasm I would talk to my Children…thank you very much
  • Space based weapon GoldenEye
  • This lady is a cat! 9 Lives and all that.
  • They EMP’d their own place. Also, I don’t think EMP works like that.
  • Natalia…that computer is off.
  • Why is everything trying to kill Natalia!
  • GoldenEye is a nuclear explosion in the upper atmosphere to generate an EMP
  • oh thank God! The puppies are ok!
  • Boris and the girl are alive!
  • Air Bag Phone Booth
  • 3 click explosive pen
  • I promise to buy a lot of IBMs…I just need to test them first
  • Crazy American.
  • Durn drafty churches.
  • Nothing better than Russian interpretation of “Stand By Your Man.”
  • Onnatop spends a lot of time on the thigh master
  • James Bond nap to the back of the neck
  • Where we gonna store all this Soviet stuff?
  • This whole Sean Bean story is twisted around and around.
  • I said 6 minutes! Not 3 minutes
  • haha! Bond saving himself and the girl using his head…literally using his head to eject from the Eurocopter
  • The only way to calm a hysterical lady is with a Bond Hug
  • Bond uses a lot of spray and pray
  • Trust me…this belt will only hold my weight….so long lady
  • Love the Tank Chase! Who else could make that look cool?
  • I think our mid-tier bad guy may have a drinking problem
  • that is one bad ass soviet era train!
  • James Bond and his sneaky tank…how the hell did he get ahead of them?
  • Ramming speed
  • That is always the solution with a train…full speed! Ram him!
  • “Why can’t you just be a good boy and die.”
  • Tastes like strawberries.
  • Arse, Butt, CHAIR
  • Boys with Toys
  • Meanwhile in Cuba. Crotch shot!
  • It took a helicopter to squeeze Onnatop out
  • Hidden Dish
  • This was nominated for special effects? miniatures and reverse video
  • Target is London Baby!
  • It’s all about da money
  • So I know what you are thinking…did I click this pen 3 times or 20?
  • Boris would be a faster coder if he used both hands
  • Did we establish that Bond was a good card counter earlier to imply that he could count the number of pen clicks?
  • “I am invincible!”
  • Apparently nobody ever just wants to kill Bond…they want to talk about killing bond….
  • Killing Sean Bean is not enough…no we have to smash him as well.
  • Yes! I am invincible!

Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Se7en (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes


Oh hi sir,

Welcome to Discreet Delivery Services, where we promise to not ask you “What’s in the box…” yeah

With that being said….I do have to ask…is there anything fragile in the box? There is….alright I’m just gonna slap a few fragile stickers on the box…wow…this box is pretty heavy for it’s size. Ok, that’s weird something seems to be rolling around inside…is it a bowling ball…no wait! Don’t tell me. We have a strict policy on not asking “what’s in the box.” yeah

However, I do have to ask….is there anything perishable in the box? Oh there is. and you need it delivered by 7…this afternoon! That’s same day delivery dude and I’m the only one here until 6. Seriously though, this thing is sloshing around like a rotten cantaloupe…is it a cantaloupe? NO DON’T TELL ME. Policy. yeah

Alright, based on the size, weight, vague content description, strict deadline on delivery and the fact you are covered in blood and creepy as hell. I’m gonna go ahead and ask for $500 dollars up front all of which will go straight into my very 90s “wallet on a chain” wallet. Screw you greedy corporate bastards. yeah

Oh and Dude, be safe out there. It’s been like raining for a week and everything is dark as hell…a storm is coming yeah.




Seven (1995) – Like late night switchblade darts. Hey, I’m trying to sleep over here and I can’t stop thinking about What’s in the box?


Setup. Over the next 7 days he has to prove himself

Listen to all the things. Will you be able to deal with it long term? let’s start the metrognome so I can go to sleep.

NIN closer

You got a flakey booger

Is he breathing spaghetti?

Is his sin Spaghetti?

Wait…finish telling us the story about the guy who stabbed himself in the back?

Does the glutton not have any lights?

That ain’t rain…hitting that windshield.

Yeah Morgan Freeman…not jerk me off.

“Ladies and Gentlemen…we have ourselves a homicide.” – Mills

Rookie Mills.

Sinning starts on Monday?

Gluttony, Greed…

“This is not even my desk.” – Police Captain

The doorman….he’s the bus driver from Speed?

What library is this?

This is the most beautiful investigation ever.

You’re welcome. I did all the work…here you go Mills…an envelope

fucking Dante!…pretty sure the cliff notes aren’t going to cut it.

Mills and Pepper have 3 dogs

That is the most I have ever seen Morgan Freeman laugh.

Yell fire…not help. People come running for fire.

Post-it note redacts.

so many corpses go unrevenged

He’s got a little forest in his kitchen.

Dicks! He’s yelling for the detectives…dicks…

Wednesday is Sloth?

Sloth scared the crap out of me.

FRIDAY! I’m missing my 1 sin a day deadly sin.

Tracy hates this city…and she’s pregnant.

Somerset had a relationship once…and she was pregnant. But he convinced her to have an abortion?

Apt. 306.

Brad Pitt is guilty of all the sins.

Brad Pitt being antsy helps ratchet up the tension.

Paranoid much…Flag book for suspicious and put it into a FBI database.

This is one intense foot chase. Maybe the best…also, call for backup!

Freeman is like Frankenstein cop….just slowly walking and still keeping up.

2 rooms…together but apart.

A little late night switchblade darts

Did they really have to shave their chests at the same time together? Is that the official chest shaving sink?

This movie doesn’t show as much as I remember. The violence is graphic…but it’s mostly in our imagination.

Brad, Yeah, Pitts, Yeah.

Dead dog…I didn’t do that.

7:01…is the time.

What in the box….whhhaaaats in the box.

somebody call somebody.



Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Heat (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes


Oh hi,

How you doing? What do you say I buy you guys a cup of coffee. Perhaps talk about our careers and poor life choices?

What’s that Randy? Additionally you want a slice of pie? and instead of black coffee you want a  Cappuccino? Yeah…that’s not going to happen. Now drink your cold nasty drip coffee swill and shudd’up.

Huh Scott? A guy once told you “don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat… if you feel the heat around the corner.” Well…I believe they call that podfading Scott and I was the guy!

What Ibbott?! Something about a woman’s ass…

Alright, I think we’re done here. Who’s got the check? No I don’t have facebook messenger. Split bill pay…it’s 1995 ya goon all I got is this here beeper that ruins marriages.