Assassins (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

Assassins 1995


Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we put on our best “I’m not a cop” suit and Powerbook our way back to 1995 to spend the afternoon sweating in the hot heat of Puerto Rico waiting on the bank to process our blood money so we can retire and move in with the Cat Lady we just met??…she seems nice. Release the doves!

Anywho, Coffee, Coffee, Tuna Fish, Coffee? Look Ma’am, I can’t answer any of your questions about your Marriot hotel bill but I would say from the amount of cat hair on your clothes and the wild look in your eyes that this seems about right. Now please excuse me. I have pressing hotel matters .. it appears we have dead Interpol agents on the 5th floor, a late model Mustang blocking traffic in loading and unloading zones only, Remote Controlled Dump Trucks in the Central Heat and Air, Pillows with holes in them and a banana that was reported “eaten” in maintenance that no one will fess up to. So no time for Chitchat lady. NO TIME FOR CHITCHAT!

No Randy, I don’t want to see pictures of your cat…save that shit for Instagram. RANDY I SAID NO!


Rated R

1995 ‧ Action/Crime ‧ 2h 13m

Assassins is a 1995 American action thriller film directed by Richard Donner. The screenplay was written by The Wachowskis and Brian Helgeland. The film stars Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas and costars Julianne Moore. The Wachowskis stated that their script was completely rewritten by Helgeland, and that they tried to remove their names from the film but failed.



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Assassins (1995) – Coffee, Coffee, Tuna Fish, Coffee? Somebody wake up Ibbott and give him some more of his gross coffee. #ReleaseTheDoves

Put the 10K you didn’t expect to have to have into my dump my miniature dump truck

Like 10K dollars of


  • Ass Ass Ins
  • Am I color blind!!
  • Meanwhile at the Bank of Moon/Sun and Clocks in Black and White Land…there is a white suit Ass Ass In. Mexico?
  • Let loose the doves! Too soon!
  • Meanwhile in the swamps of Swampland
  • When I first saw you…I wasn’t scared…just wondering why you were wearing those boots…now I know.
  • What kind of shoes will you be wearing when your day comes?
  • You and your principals…somebody had to do the jobs you wouldn’t do.
  • It’s Chambered….Thanks Raph. and the Thunder rolls.
  • Nooo…not like a mark…I can’t handle the irony!
  • Apple laptop and dial up..what is this 1995?
  • Sick. The Flu.
  • This is one pushy computer…200k for another job… I DON’T WANT IT! Send me the file…
  • Print out…now I draw a circle on his face…and a mustache.
  • Billionaire …costs 200k to kill him.
  • Branch was hit with an assassins bullet and but in a wheelchair and now his brother is dead.
  • White guy funeral.
  • Hey what did Stallone do his arm…oooooh.
  • Antonio got a wheel barrow and shovels…just digging the next guy’s grave.
  • Run!! Ass v Ass.
  • Come on your little bastard be brave…run for it.
  • I really dig this plink plink music.
  • You got the serious professional one and then the loose cannon.
  • snap that finger out of place! ouch.
  • All I caught was Diablo something something diablo
  • Man…talk about dressing in layers.
  • Just monitoring the police bands…don’t mind me…in my suit and stern angry expression face. Who me? Do I look like a cop?
  • Need a cab..bump a cab…take a cab. Fare
  • Taxi Cab Roulette…
  • Chitchat…I haven’t heard that word for a long time.
  • Going to drop him off at a children’s soccer and going to shoot him in the back.
  • Robert Rath… Miguel Bain.
  • I’m a fan..
  • Drive…Drive…Drive…we sit…we Drive…
  • Protect the innocent..
  • Rome 14 BC they killed Flatulence at his brother’s funeral.
  • Someday I will tell my little ninos about this wonderful encounter.
  • I love how buses, cars and trucks don’t pull over when other cars are slamming into them.
  • Yellow Cab 501
  • You were good… and the Russian. Nicolias.
  • You killed him to be number 1…you tricked the Russian into thinking he was your friend.
  • Bishop takes Rook Pawn.
  • We got him. We don’t got him. He is in a sea of yellow.
  • 1980 game. May 8…replay
  • Enter next move D6, H2 … Check…you son of a bitch.
  • Assassins don’t like to be a mark.
  • 2 million on the next contract…that escalated quickly. I’m gone.
  • Retire the mark.
  • File please.
  • Time to circle this guys eyes and draw a line throw it.
  • A Ghost…all we have is an internet logo.
  • He is really into eyes.
  • What you doing? Listening to the stones…drying my hair in the kitchen and feeding the cat using a remote controlled dump truck…she would totally have an Instagram page for her cat.
  • Oh Jennifer…don’t take that shit.
  • She is a peeper.
  • Call him Remy.
  • Nooo…not the fur! She is a activist and cat owner!
  • White Courtesy Phone.
  • She making Remy Run Around. Track that
  • I don’t want your money…I want you to cut your hair.
  • It must be tough being an assassin that looks like a cop.
  • Meanwhile at the Marriot.
  • Don’t eat the maintenance guys banananana!! what a jerk.
  • Cat Eyes
  • Gimmie a second I got to put in a disk…and I am talking about a 1.44MB 3.5″
  • Put the 10K you didn’t expect to have to have into my dump my miniature dump truck.
  • Room 502… Coffee Coffee Coffee Tuna Fish Meow. Lookout Pearl the cat.
  • I am going to format your disk. Orient it to receive the data.
  • Hans Brinker Dutchman…talk to me.
  • Ay yi yi yi… Interpol
  • Beeper? This is not my beeper.
  • Stupid pearl the cat is going to get me killed.
  • Killing a woman is not the same as killing a man.
  • Thanks a lot helpful Valet… ” I don’t remember where I parked it..” RIGHT HERE!!
  • I’m a government employee.
  • I got your cat! I got your car. Now what.
  • Stupid Cell Towers
  • Is that some Portishead? Sweet!
  • Dammit Yennifer…always making it hard.
  • I’m sorry…but I think I picked the wrong guy to be my hero…Macho Macho.
  • Makes hissing noise…sprays your fur with red paint.
  • Today is my birthday. Happy Birthday Asshole.
  • Oh…is he going to cape fear this shit?
  • Pearl…She likes me…she likes dead fish too.
  • You can call me Electra.
  • Too old for this shit.
  • Stallone doing the purring is too creepy.
  • Today was supposed to be a really good day. 40k and I was going to buy Pearl a boyfriend. I just want out.
  • She ain’t a people person. and neither is he.
  • Hello…you have reached the Dial Up Assassin…how may I help you.
  • Rath isn’t the mark. You failed. Project reassigned.
  • does he have a fuck you key? I need a fuck you key on my keyboard.
  • I want my 2 million in cash please.
  • Pearl gonna flush this turlette
  • Pearl loves her AssAssIns
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