This week on Filmsack we saddle up and mosey on back to the 1990s for a showdown with the root’nest, toot’nest, evil-deaden’nest “oops I forgot to wear panties” crotch shot-in-the-neck Quick and the … nooo Daddy ….. issues, gun slinging’nest contest ever committed to film.
Anywho, tell me if you have heard this one… A preacher, a whore and a kid walk into a bar and the whore asks the bartender “can I get a drink” and the bartender says “Whores next door”… TWO DAYS later nobody has a dad and the whole town is blow’ed up and nobody has a place to live but hey at least no taxes, right? oh also the kid is dead and the preacher is now the new Marshall of … dirt, you know…in case you needed the closure.
Randy, I don’t think Keith David is going to make it…old news.
R | 1995 | Western/Drama | 1h 48m
A mysterious woman gunslinger, Ellen (Sharon Stone), saunters into the town of Redemption looking for revenge. Her father was killed by the town’s sadistic mayor, Herod (Gene Hackman), who is in the midst of organizing a quick-draw tournament. The lady enters, joining a cast of miscreants and outlaws for a brutal competition in which the loser dies. Among the competitors is “The Kid” (Leonardo DiCaprio), an upstart who has his own score to settle with Herod.
Rotten Tomatoes https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1059629-quick_and_the_dead
The Quick and the Dead (1995) – Like a deck of cards made out of all aces. What? You drew 5 aces! Wow…that is what I have too! #allaces #nobodywins
WHERE TO WATCH
Still Streaming As of July 15, 2022 – Records On : July 16th, 2022 – Last Day July 31st, 2022
Subs (Filmsack preferred)
Netflix / https://www.netflix.com/watch/885014
MORE Options – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/the-quick-and-the-dead
No Time? Watch Highlight CLIPS instead
- How fast?
- You got to be Quick…OR the Dead? no…AND
- Wait this is not the 1980s made for TV movie!
- Look at all these stars! All star cast!
- This guy is a mole…a gold mole…chipmunk…most of my gold is in my teeth.
- You ain’t gonna take my gold mister…no sir…
- That was a wallop. He promised he would kill her…will he?
- Meanwhile, down at the old west graveyard…a hangin!
- Alan Silvestri music. Holy hell…this is everything!
- What a beautiful sunset at the start.
- Yeeeha…lookout bitch… yeeeha.
- The Marshall…he done marshalled all he gonna marshall.
- 5 foot 8….get out of here creepy coffin maker.
- Pidgeon Roost?
- She arrived at 6PM
- When you have to wear all of your clothes you own all the time…stanky!
- Whores next door. I say… whores next door.
- That is a tall drink of water…. Bottle of champagne… c’mon
- I put an ace every time I kill someone… wait…so it is all Aces Deck… I have a 5 aces…what do you got?
- 50 cents of every dollar…the town gets to live.
- The blind boot shine.
- There is another gun in town.
- Everybody in this town is a gun ace.
- That makes 15…pretty sure his name is Mad Dogg.
- I just got our of prison. 35 years…I did 3 days…
- The one eyed man trashes the blind kids stuff…
- So this town is corrupt? Got it.
- She has a lot of smokes.
- are you here for the contest.
- Who carries around Sinis in their pocket.
- Smokes dog?
- Goooold teeth…I got gold teeth…I got all sizes…
- The Quick Draw Competition is open.
- Fight once a day. Anybody can challenge anybody. Time is drawn from lottery.
- 123 Thousand Dollars. Compliments of Mr. Herod and Wells Fargo.
- I am Swedish Champion.
- Put an Ace up there…they will know what it means.
- Sgt Cantrell…how do you spell that? Correctly.
- Spotted horse…right right.
- Everybody calls me the kid.
- Everybody has a theme.
- What is in the bottom of that glass.
- And then death came walking in.
- Everybody a-feared of Lex Luther.
- I saw that Kid is up there.. Add my name to the list
- You and the orphan children … we burned that shit down.
- You used to be fast…you still fast? Faster than you.
- I have renounced violence.
- Who let the Insane Clown Posse in the bar?
- Prison Guy.
- No rule against ladies…just woman can’t shoot for shit.
- A Preacher, A Prisoner and a Whore enter a old west bar…
- Don’t sleep with your gun facing your head.
- The Kid sleeps on dynamite.
- Herod is your father! The kid.
- Your scruff is match worthy.
- These are my boys…they don’t get to church much…but they do have planks.
- Wagon Wheel…fight me.
- 7pm tonight… Lady v Kelly
- Has anyone ever said Lance Henricksen is hot?
- Everybody has a ritual.
- The ladies love the gun fighters.
- Mr. Swedish Champion…you done?
- Spotted bull can not be killed. Another bullet..went in my head…today. Spotted Bull is full of bull.
- She really wants to shoot him.
- They do it on the hour.
- I ain’t got no Farmers hands.
- Eagle Butt Peace Maker.
- Gun Spinners…must have been a lot of gun spinner practice.
- Here is your squeaky gun with 1 bullet.
- haha…that kid picking up horse shit…what is he going to do with that? Gross…throwing horse shit.
- Slow mo cork spitter…
- oops…Cort shot first..
- Preacher used to be like Herod.
- Fastest gun in the west…or the biggest liar.
- I killed the Terrance brothers.
- Herod…Bladder full of hot air. Don’t think they drew on the clock…
- Can I get the claps? Where are my claps?
- Mr. Fancy pants….gimmie those fancy pants..you dead.
- Nobody wants Fancy Lance Underpants!
- The old man knows who she is. He saved her.
- There is a click before the strike..use it.
- it is all about the attitude.
- Last night The Kid…tonight Herod.
- awww…tipped the glass.
- Sent her a dress…now she gets the pat down.
- Law and Order kind of a guy.
- He doesn’t like liars. Or Cheats.
- Dropped my damn gun.
- Daddy played Russian Roulette with Herod’s family.
- Click…click…click. Dinner. You bastard! You just had a match box!!
- The lord will provide…rain for water.
- I was only a kid…a little smarter…a little faster than most.
- Herod is fearless…cause of the incident.
- Used to go Revenue Collecting.
- So I killed the priest…I’m already damned…also, I took the priest’s job.
- I’m telling you to step down. You step down. no… Step down. also, don’t stare me down kid.
- Horace the bar tender…left standing…correction…left alive.
- Well…I was planning on killing you anyway.
- No Keith David…I love you too much.
- Oh…the lady with the cross…she paid the Keith David. You hired a gun fighter to kill me.
- Double taxes for all. I’m Herod!
- If you live to see the dawn…it is because I allow it.
- Holy Head Hole Keith David. Your gunfighter is dead…old news.
- We got a rain out. No gun fighting until it clears up.
- I’m the new mayor! King of the world.
- I fill up the bar nuts when I don’t know how to handle my emotions.
- Wriggled like a fish.
- You Sunday Bitch. Shot him in the dick.
- This contest is not over until one of you is dead.
- You shot my drink….that is too far. Pew pew pew.
- Gold Teeth!
- I hope that blind kid is playing the long game.
- Ratsy done been in everything. He made a career out of that face.
- I’m through…
- Spotted Horse can not be killed by a bullet……Man is dead.
- He ain’t dead…Give me a bullet blind kid. Blind kid pot luck bullet pile. Killed by a blind man’s bullet.
- Applause him….is that a word?
- Welcome back, killer.
- Sure rains a lot
- The doc knows all his babies.
- The Quick the Daddy…oh Daddy…I have daddy issues.
- So Gary Sinise was the Marshall. She’s the Marshall’s daughter.
- 4 to 1 odds.
- Lady and Cort
- quick on the draw with that backhand
- Clear the street.
- I’m his son…he denies it.
- Shit…that was fast.
- Gut shot. Herod got grazed. He was almost fast enough.
- I don’t want to die.
- What kind of ink do you have? Any kind you need….I mean…I guess…cause I’m blind…all I really know is that they are wet.
- So did the Kid work at the Store? Was that his store? Does the blind kid own it now? Or does she?
- This clock is getting a lot of Face time.
- I got a neck bleed.
- She’s dead…shot her right in the boob.
- The rules say tomorrow. What time? Dawn…too early. Ratsy break my nose twice…nooo he broke his hand.
- The prayer…is he bad…is he really afraid?
- Ratsy…you got 20 seconds to get out of town. 15…Oh shit…oh shit… oh shit! Times up Ratsy!
- Whatever happens…if he is still standing in the end…Gun him down…booo..cheater.
- If we can’t have this town…neither can you. The Taxes!
- I killed your men.
- Spotted horse? Nope…
- I don’t think we needed the red ink for clarity.
- I’m the Marshall’s daughter. oooooooh.
- Shoot the rope….not daddy’s head…but you know that is what is going to happen.
- Your daddy loves you…You are welcome…daddy…
- Head like a hole…dead as your soul…
- The law has come back to town…we got some rebuilding to do.