Oh hi guy,
This week on Filmsack we are mining the very depths of Canadian Horror Entertainment … (exasperated breath) …. SAH-ree guys. I don’t know if I can do an intro this week. I’ve just been pretty bummed ever since I found out they canceled the Valentine’s Day Dance. I was really looking forward to you guys finally meeting my Canadian girlfriend.
Anywho, said “totally real Canadian girlfriend” left me a heart shaped box of what I can only assume is chocolates and a note that I am now going to read for the first time right here on the show:
“To whom it may concern, (always a good start)
You are invited to a Saturday night at you-know-who’s house where we will be celebrating the holy holiday of the horny… aka Valentines Day.”
“All Filmsack miners are welcome.” (that is miners with an ‘er’…not ‘or’…just to be clear.)
“The party will commence at sun down and will include all the Moosehead you can stomach and all the miners you can kiss.” (once again; that is miners with an ‘er’)
It continues, “We will be playing all of your beloved Canadian party games like Twister…. Pin the Axe in the miner…SAH-Ree the board game, Pranks that End in Death, Uno and everyone’s favorite Canadian game Bobbing for Weiners.” That’s Jokes!
“Looking forward to seeing you there. Yours truly. The one armed man.”
ok, turns out that was not from my actual Canadian Girlfriend… but this guy seems nice. So hey, would anybody like a piece of chocolate from my totally not a human heart in a heart shaped box that I am not going to even look at before offering you some. No? ok. and now for someone who has been to Canada and lived to sing a ballad about it..Randy.
My Bloody Valentine (1981) – Like getting one of them nasty conversation candy hearts but this one says Be Mined and now your dead. That’s Jokes!
- Bloody L.
- Meanwhile, down in the mines
- View askew
- That miner is a lady!
- No way does her hair and makeup stay like that…
- Stop stroking my breathing tube
- Oh no…he hates heart tattoos! Impaling we will go.
- Stop grab-assing you bunch of
- A hot time on Saturday Night!?
- I’ll give her my valentine! Well yeah…I mean it is Valentines…that is what you do.
- ohhh…the town is The Little Town with the big heart…cause of all the red meat.
- These miners are trouble….
- A love triangle!
- “Suck it in and zip it up!”
- First Valentine Dance in 20 years.
- “Hi Guy” – Ketchup head.
- TJ couldn’t make it on the west coast. He is the mayors son.
- Comes from the heart …what does that card say? Poetry.
- Where are they speeding off to after finding the heart?
- Stabbed his birdie finger.
- The Harbinger of Dooooom
- Down at the Union Hall flashback…tradition for over a 100 years.
- 7 Miners…5 below…2 supervisors above…1 man alive…but he was crazy!
- A warning from Harry…never hold the Valentines dance again.
- Sea Shanty…Harriett…Valentine Virgin name Harriet.
- What are you guys doing with a loose heart? Lady in her 30s
- oh…you said Be Mine…I thought you said Be Mined.
- Everybody: A box of candy! Nobody: Heart.
- Madame Mabell is dead!
- A little protein patrol.
- These guys all sound Canadian
- Everybody is a harmonica player.
- Take a look at my Hairy Warden…by court order.
- TJ vs Axle…the
- Cut down to here…slit up to there…I may not get out alive.
- Upside down heart…what does it mean!
- Something smells funny…nope…not my pipe…maybe it’s these hearts.
- Yelling at the screen…it’s right there! the big bloody dryer ya moron!
- Manniger Mines.
- Harry’s Back
- It will happen thrice…that is the worst lyric yet.
- His name is Jesse…
- Technically…it was heart failure.
- Durn Bartender and his meddling and warnings.
- Moosehead Beer
- Damn kids….Bartender…
- The Bartender just couldn’t get enough of his own joke and now he is mined.
- yay!. It’s just chocolates. ahhh…it’s Mabel
- While it would certainly hurt to bob for wieners.
- The favorite Canadian Mining Town game of bobbing for wieners was short lived.
- It’s yours…Keep it clean
- Howard makes me gag!
- Nothing creepy here…just a bunch of clothes on hooks.
- Like a bad game of Marco Polo…John….Sylvia…John…Sylvia…death!
- We work in the mines everyday…lets head down there during the party.
- Hoss…big boy Hoss.
- You know the rule…no women in the mine.
- This is the worst Tunnel of Love ever (ride down to the coalmine)
- Everybody hates Howard the beer snorting bafoon.
- These horny Canadians.
- Hey you guys!
- Cars: It is hard to get traction in this movie.
- Howard says that Harry Morgan is dead. Nobody knows that.
- He really screwed Harriet and Mike.
- Well there goes my Howard theory…like a sack of taters down a mine shaft.
- Axel or TJ Axel or TJ
- A shovel to an pick axe fight.
- How progressive…she ain’t no damsel in distress.
- Axel…why? Well here is a flashback to daddy being killed by Harry. His dad was the supervisor.
- Harry Ward…Gone Away…but he’ll be back.
- Ok…they got their own Ballad.