Running Scared (1986) – Do you think we all wear uniforms and drive cars that say “Filmsack” on them? Well we do. Hey what size is that love you have there?
Buddy buddy cop
Street ball with Joey Pants
You mugging us?
Let us keep the driver’s license and the snapshots
What is wrong with that one guys gun…is it wooden?
These muggers have a pretty nice car but shitting guns.
The mean alleys of Chicago
6 shot. You always aim low anyways.
Bill Crystal does an old jewish guy.
A line up of 4 cops and Snake number 5
Joey no Pants…what am I stupid?
First Spanish GodFather of Chicago
Meeting down at the docks.
Gonzales – Drugs from Columbia. Broke up the DEA bust.
Time to take a break.
A very bad sign when a cop thinks Chicago will fall apart without them
Vacation in Key West. Far south as they can go without learning a new language
Key West is full of woman who are ok with riding around guys on motoscooters and lying around in hammocks and buying bars with dead aunt money.
High we sell tupperware…we sold him jello molds…is that kid shooting birds? Do you need a lettuce crisper…Yeeeees! When fired upon…return fire.
Undercover Cop Car.
Crystal has never been shot…but his partner hasn’t.
Throw me the pants and I’ll throw you the whip. It’s ok. I have long johns…they are long and the leanest and rhymes with enis or meanis
You have the miranda warning/rights and their variations for you.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”
Hines does not want to give up his pants. Hope them Johns are clean.
This week I sold my first screenplay to Troma Films. Yep! I’m rich! Well, I have pizza money. Now according to the Troma Film Script Naming App, that was recently banned by the US Govt, they are going to title the film “The Many Exploits of Cowboy Chop-Suey Through The Multiverse: There And Back Again 9 Times.” Bravo Troma App. Bravo
Anywho, here is the pitch I gave them:
Cowboy Chop-Suey, born to a Chinese American mother and a bowl of Pinto Beans, thus began life as she was destined to suffer it….going in no direction all at once. A mediocre neurosurgeon, this lawsuit waiting to happen, was tossed to the curb after less than stellar performance at her job.
On the streets, she loitered around China Town learning useful skills such as: finding food by digging through the garbage behind various eateries. Where she discovers a discarded notebook filled with Multiverse theories which she shows to a gathering group of curious raccoons, those disease-ridden back-alley mammals The China Town Trash Pandas.
And now, with her stolen rickshaw covered in bottle rockets lifted from a fireworks stand and ready for an escape to another reality, Cowboy Chop-Suey faces the greatest improbability of her downward spiraling life…
…while below the streets, in the sewer, a group of clowns, mounted on discarded pet alligators, peers from storm drains keeping a gleeful eye on Team Suey’s every move…
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) – You have exceeded the character limit. Oh…the deuce you say.
Which dimension is this?
B backwards B
Hand me my Casio…time to make some text scroll music
Buckaroo Banzai, born to an American mother and a Japanese father, thus began life as he was destined to live it…going in several directions at once. A brilliant neurosurgeon, this restless young man grew quickly dissatisfied with a life devoted solely to medicine. He roamed the planet studying martial arts and particle physics, collecting around him a most eccentric group of friends, those hard-rocking scientists The Hong Kong Cavaliers.
And now, with his astounding Jet Car ready for a bold assault on the dimension barrier, Buckaroo Banzai faces the greatest challenge of his turbulent life…
…while high above Earth, an alien spacecraft keeps a nervous watch on Team Banzai’s every move…
Interesting launch area dialogue. Sounds somewhat authentic without sounding like jabber
Part stuntman..part explorer.
It’s it hot in this bunker.
Can you sing? A little. I can dance. Says Goldblum
500 miles an hour Jalopy…you are gullible General…or is he
Ha! His “Remember Them” photo on his dashboard is of himself.
Abort Phase 2! No can do!
Uhh…Buckaroo…I think you hit a naked inter-dimensional being with your heavily modified Chevy.
Time to brush those teeth!
Sound Barrier and then the Dimensional Barrier…just like B backwards B said it would be.
We got a crazy person.
Hikita saw in 1938.
Some shock therapy to remember 1938
Lithgow is always entertaining to stare at.
His remember them is a woman and child.
Lithgow was not going fast enough….Now his head is full of crazy panting and anger.
When asked Where he went…. “Vast chasms of hissing swamp, spurts of flame, huge thunderclaps and gurgling rock formations.” – BB
Lithium no longer available on credit
Surgeon, Test Pilot, Dimensional Traveler, Rock Star
Excuse me…is someone out there not having a good time…somebody out there crying in the darkness…can we point it out.
Who cares…my name is Penny Pretty.
Hey don’t mean…cause remember….no matter where you go…there you are.
I’m going to sing this song for you Peggy….Penny.
Everybody got a gun.
Moon…no Planet 10
Mr. John Bigboote…Operator
Hot off the World Watch Wire.
Criminally Insane Asylums. Prison for womens.
Queen of the Netherlands.
30 years ago…his parents died.
Pure evil from the 8th Dimesion! Lectroids! Alien bestowed Sight
Christopher Lloyd? The next year…Back to the Future
Oh…the deuce you say.
Yo Yo Dyne
Its your hand!
Unraveling the world/dimension building in this movie is difficut.
Mrs. Johnson. Gear up!
Destroy yourself Gaunt! John Valuk is dead…he fell on his head.
What’s in the big pink box.
Blue Blazer Irregular.
46 Jersey SS requests. Yo You
John Smallberries…all Johns
War of the World Connection
Bubble Mask Viewer
8th Dimension is a formless void
Stop John Wharfin by sunset or Nuclear War.
Why is there a watermelon there?
The president is in traction.
Truncheon Bomber…You You.
This situation is explosive over Jersey.
Talking to Brain Cells.
User more honey!
Nothing personal John Parker.
I am scared…I am barely holding my fudge here.
Bigbootie…activate your probes
Did this movie inspire They Live, Alien Nation? X-Files, Back to the Future…and more.
There are MonkeyBoys in the facility
John Emdall must die…Lord Whorfin must live…work work work
Greetings organic life forms of Planet Space Farm. Up here Old man…I am in the spaceship that blots out your sun. Oh you are sightless…apologies.. No matter, I see I have caught you all in the common area. Good, I will only have to say this once: I am in possession of a Stellar Converter..now I know most of you rubes have no idea what that means….but let’s just say it turns your planet to fire…fire bad!
Anywho, me and my merry band of mutant marauders were just beebopping through the galaxy on our way to annihilate another planet of forms when we scanned your planet and found you have nothing but Shelter, Food and Face Moles…I could use at least 2 out of those 3 things. So, I will return in 7 rising of your sun to collect all the food and face moles I can eat. Yeah, I’m talking to you John Boy. I’m gonna wear that mole like a bikini on a Space Valkyrie. Valkyrie needs clothes badly.
Now excuse me. I must go soak Lobo’s foot. Just ask Kalo and Tembo…they’ll know what I mean.
Quasimodo Ship Operator. Manipulate the 1970s Earth Type Plasma Globes and set a course for Umateal.
Daniel-san, please sit down. We need to talk. Daniel-san, you are no longer a KID. You are a 28 year old man…A Daniel-man… and it is time to grow up. Perhaps get your own….your own…Daniel-man is that my bonsai tree? The small tree from the side of the mountain and its likeness that I have on everything in my home, shop and your gi. Hai, I forgive.
Sniff…sniff. What is that stink? It smells like old foot powder. Hai, just like my fizzy green foot powder. Daniel-man, have you been using my things again? Oh Daniel-man…tell me you didn’t use that after midnight? Oi, then do not eat my special sandwich in the fridge. You already did?…you know what…Hai, I forgive you.
Daniel-man, are you even listening. Hai, you are thinking about that new girl across the street aren’t you. Yes, hai…I know that’s what you love about those high school girls. You get older, they stay the same age. You know what. Take your plastic-metal trophy and get out Daniel-man. Sweep the leg.
Now I would like to read my poem about something that’s pretty important to me and that I get really confused about a lot. It’s called “Chachis.”
Chachis, sometimes I feel like I’m so much above ’em and sometimes I feel like I’m so much below ’em. Sometimes I hate ’em and sometimes I love ’em (hold on a sec. I’m having a puberty fueled fantasy about boobies. Oh yeah..) now where was I…right…Sometimes I hate ’em and sometimes I love ’em but if I was a caveman, I think I’d just club ’em.
Oh c’mon! Don’t boo the Cooter. You know the Gary Cooter is all about the love! Now hand me my trapper keeper. I got a raging puberty Cooter Boner that I need to hide. Oh hi Scatman.
Alright Oldfellas, the Don has ordered us to take out Sleepy Joe Marcellino before he can testify against the family. But the FBI has him stashed away in a remote location. However, I have a plan.
First we take a Train….then we take a walk…..then we take a boat….then we take a car….then we take a helicopter….hold on Tony, I’m doing the plan over here…now where was I…..oh yeah…then a station wagon…then The Oakside Boys Club bus….no wait…that’s next week….back the bus up….
Alright. we get off at the station wagon, shoot some feds…play some Trivial P, seal our fates by whacking the son of an FBI Agent and Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo Sleepy Joe Marcellino takes his last nap. Any questions?
What’s the P stand for? (Pause for effect) Pursuit…geez guys…we are Oldfellas…we keep it clean. I mean we still kill guys and stuff…but they probably deserve it right…hey Tony what are you making over there that smells so darn good? No…I do not know what a Cow’s only contribution is…is this one of them Trivial Pursuit questions?
Ah crap! Everybody down…Tony’s got a Shit Cake and all we have are these guns!