INTRO Oh hi, Hey you guys…hey have you looked outside today? The suns are almost in conjunction! and you know what that means! It’s time to sing the song of our people! Late 70s and early 80s kids join in.. Conjunction Junction what’s your Function? Hey! I can’t do it Read more…
INTRO Oh hi Filmsack, Chronologically, you’re episode 4-0-1 today. Physically, you’re still 400. No, I didn’t expect us to wake up transformed. I just thought that turning 4-0-1 is so major that we’d wake up with an improved mental state that would show on our faces. All that shows is Read more…
INTRO Oh hi, Look, no intro that I could write imo would be funnier than us live sacking the Time-Life Books “The Old West” Commercial from the 80s. Scott, Roll that beautiful bean footage. Hmmm, well apparently I was wrong. Maybe I should have went with a “where are they Read more…
Movie Sergeant Dunaway here, your Senior
Sack Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy mouth holes will be “Huh!”
Do you basic grubs understand that?
Also, I can’t hear you. Sound off like you watched this weeks movie and enjoyed it.
Johnson, your new name is Grossman. Cause you think stuff’s gross. Good job.
Ibbott, I’m gonna call you Boris …cause you do a really funny Russian accent and also because you are a little squirrelly. Like moose and squirrel. Say the thing!
Jordan, you will now answer to Dicks…because that one time you made me laugh when you said something about a bag of dicks.
Now choke yourself. That’s it….ahhhh yeah.
Dicks, tell us about your job this week.
Yes this is 12 year old me calling from 1984 I just wanted to tell the older more experienced me in 2018….do not crap on my favorite things. You just keep your big mouth shut old man…and who are these people you are hanging out with in the future anyway…and where are my best friends Chuck and Amy…we said we would be friends forever and watch The Ice Pirates every day and play D&D every Friday night and drink Jolt Cola until we puked and then do it all over again!
Whatever, I don’t have time for this…The Ice Pirates is starting and we just got something called a “microwave” and I hear it is going to change how we make popcorn forever.
May all you haters end in thirst. Power to the people.
This week’s Film disaster tries to destroy my dream of owning a home with Tom Hanks, the last known decent human being in Hollywood and living bobble head.
So bring in your Mad Max wrecking crew and do your worst. Tom and I will find a way to survive an onslaught of Karmic like retribution brought on by the sins of the father.
let’s keep this brief, I have a chic waiting in the Jacuzzi and a turkey in a bucket.
Hey Randy, how long do you think it will take you to complete your intro?
Hasta La Vista