INTRO
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Oh hi,
This week on filmsack we get the GREEN light to head on over to HB-er MaX and shine the LANTERN of judgement down upon this 2011 Superhero movie that tries to Will Power it’s way into existence. Warner Brother’s Power’s Activate, Form of Richard Donner’s 1978 Superman! Nope.. Try again… how about…Shape of Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman… No sir.. that is a fail … Fine, just do your best Jon Favreau’s Iron Man… I know I know.. not DC…but we got to get this thing going. Wait..wait…isn’t that Taika Waititi (Tike-a Wah-teetee) in your damn movie… Director of Thor: Ragnarok…and you still made this instead? ok doomer.
Anywho, good morning to my circle jerk of giant immortal heads with flowing toilet robes floating in space casting judgement and dirty looks upon the 3,600 sectors of life. While some of you were napping and releasing gases into the galaxy I have been guardian’ning up this shit… and behold…I have news. The human that they call Hal Jor-Don has joined our little corp of greenies and is on his way. Now before he gets here…I don’t want anyone looking directly at his human package…I know it is dreamy and all…but we are the Immortal Guardians by god and we need to act like it. Now excuse me while I poop in my robe.
Randy, you are afraid. Goooood… fraidy souls are the tastiest.
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BRIEF
Sworn to preserve intergalactic order, the Green Lantern Corps has existed for centuries. Its newest recruit, Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), is the first human to join the ranks. The Green Lanterns have little regard for humans, who have thus far been unable to harness the powers of the ring each member wears. But Jordan, a gifted and cocky test pilot, may be the corps’ only hope when a new enemy called Parallax threatens the universal balance of power.
LINKS
IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1133985/
WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Lantern_(film)
Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/green_lantern
TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/GreenLantern2011
WHERE TO WATCH
(HBO) MAX – https://play.max.com/video/watch/b5f2a5b2-75bc-4ed7-9008-646211f06bff/1ff36243-f8ab-4237-a2c2-82dab75ad289
MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/green-lantern-fr
TRAILER/CLIPS
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Green Lantern (2011) – Like other superhero movies but just not as good …. but better than a some … so there is that I suppose. #AngelaBassetTakesItToTheFace
SHOW NOTES
- I hope this is as good as everybody says.
- I am seeing Green
- Billions of years ago, a race of immortals harnessed the most powerful force in existence: the emerald energy of willpower. These immortals, the Guardians of the Universe, built a world from where they could watch over all of existence: the planet Oa. They divided the universe into three thousand six hundred 3,600 sectors, a ring powered by the energy of will was sent to every sector of the universe to select a recruit. In order to be chosen by the ring, it is said that one must be without fear. Together these three thousand six hundred recruits formed the intergalactic peacekeepers known as the Green Lantern Corps. Of all the threats the Corps ever faced gravest was an entity of fear known as Parallax. Only the legendary Green Lantern Abin Sur was capable of capturing and imprisoning this beast, which he did on the lost planet of Ryut.
- We crashed. Send help.
- Holes to hell….
- You are afraid….good. Now give me dem souls…and I’m gonna fly on outta here.
- Meanwhile…6 earth months later.
- Want proof time does not exist…go out to deep space.
- Sinestro…wassup.
- You mission to evacuate…no longer necessary…the guardians are silent….
- I’m out bitches…in a green flash…
- Nearest inhabitants…time to pick a guardian!
- tell the Guardians it is Parallax
- Make yourself at home…there is water in the tap.
- Do not tape and drive. Asshole
- and without disappointing women everywhere.
- We got Daddy issues.
- Now let’s get these pants off and fly some planes.
- Hey…it is the Taika Waititi on comms?
- What do you feed these computer guided planes. Sabre
- Now stay right there and look real pretty.
- Highball..did you just use your wingman as a decoy.
- Yes…humans win! I mean Damnit Hal.
- Hal…keep it warm for me..
- You’re not scared are you dad… nope…it is my job not to be…
- Watched his daddy splode…still became a pilot…but he has issues.
- You crashed the new F-35
- Watch your back…that’s impossible bob.
- I can’t resist you Hal…
- Choose well little green orb…
- I don’t play by the rules…including how I park
- Dad died in 1993
- Happy Birthday…like your motorcycle accident.
- Where is Jason? Uncle Hal…worst 11th birthday party.
- I am a screwup in every sense ..but I do know how to fly…
- Oh…it is the crystal starfighter…
- Me too, ace.
- Green Orb chooses….YOU! Now let’s go on a trip to drop you into a puddle by the sea
- Don’t worry…I’ll save you…waaaa…what are you?
- Your Name…Your Name… oh hi Hal Jordan.
- Place the ring in the lantern…say the oath…
- Yo Waititi here.
- Is that a spaceship?
- Pilot…to pilot…I buried him…he proposed.
- Don’t get the ring near the lantern.
- A great honor…responsibility. maybe responsibility on their planet means asshole.
- Meanwhile back at the Lantern Circle of Judgement the big blue heads are accessing the situation.
- Yellow is fear.
- Meanwhile Dr. Hammond needs to come with us.
- Do they have a StarGate?
- Is that what I think it is?
- I pledge allegiance to the lantern. I got in a swamp.
- “In brightest day In blackest night No evil shall escape my sight Let those who worship evils might Beware my power Green lanterns light.” – take the oath
- Oh yeah…this doctor has the look…does that hard drive have an illuminati sticker on it?
- Angela Basset…
- People like us have to work within the system…
- You haven’t been replaced by an alien or something? yes…the lantern makes you better.
- He forgot it was her birthday.
- We flew together…with anyone who will get into the plane. They mean the sex.
- Let’s do the Top Gun thing where we start singing the song in a bar.
- Stop poking lady…thanks for the dance.
- I’m dangerous…I drive reckless in my old school sports car.
- You cost us our jobs…
- Pathetic…you got beat up by 3 guys.
- My Face is just getting warmed up.
- The ring of power…it is pissed.
- The doctor has some night terrors…when Hal takes off. He is infected with the yellow coward shit.
- Hey…I fly better when I let the ring lead.
- Now that is a close up…
- Have you concluding admiring yourself. – A talking fish.
- The green has higher function.
- Our species is the youngest to do the lantern thing…welcome to OA.
- I can do that…Fly…I can totally…ahhhh…
- The great thing about the ring is it takes no learning…well…sorta…more like getting used to and letting it take control.
- The power comes from the Will of the universe. Green is the color of will…duh…it is the strongest…cept for the yellow shit…that is fear.
- The Green Lantern convention. Like no other…
- Abin Sur…our finest warrior…and can never be replaced…I’m looking at you kid.
- Will we be defeated? Hell no.
- We are the corps…wasting will energy to the space.
- Your will forms the will…the rings limit is only what you can imagine.
- Cynical will.
- Kilowog…Poozer…ring slinging 101…the worst day of your worthless life.
- Yeah I heard about humans.
- You want to be a Lantern…you got to commit to the corp.
- Your will is pathetic.
- He never went into the military…now he is in it…he need discipline.
- Gravity’s a bitch. The bigger you are…the quicker you burn…that will come into play.
- Your enemy is not going to play fair.
- only as strong as his weakest link.
- A sword…now human.
- I do believe I smell fear.
- Fear is the enemy of will. Fear is what stops you…and makes you weak…makes your constructs feeble.
- You reek of fear Hal Jordan.
- Hal Jor-don
- The Ring Never makes a mistake
- Sabre Jacket in my closet.
- Michael…I can hear your thoughts…and I don’t like them…Freak. Classed Dismissed. I got to go look at my blood.
- LG Flip phone…Hello father of mine…Senator?
- Dad got me the job…Seize an opportunity … what an embarrassment. I can hear you daddy!!
- A gaggle of lanterns. pew pew pew.
- Holy Cheese…use fear to feed…nom nom nom
- Red Face, green eyes Mustache and pointy ears
- Never use the power of fear…to unpredictable … yeah that is right…one of us… This guardian who chose fear… Consumed by the long floaty robe of fear… Suck it Parallax. He grew larger
- We must forge a yellow ring…to fight fear with fear.
- I’m gone…sorry to hear you just arrived at the end of my set…but I’m gone.
- A couple of young men trying to deal with living up to their fathers.
- There are thinkers and doers… ohh… he used to be a doer…and now he is a thinker upper…and doer?
- She is not disappointing her daddy…
- Living up to Daddy.
- I did get to examine an alien body….but I can’t tell anyone…but I have been slurping drinks without tipping them. Sluuurp
- Enjoy your helicopter crash daddy.
- This is Tim Burton Batman level batman
- He made it like the hot wheels track his nephew has…vroom.
- Gee…who is that in the mask? I don’t know? I can’t tell who it is…it is a mystery…brought to you by LG
- Looking to cast a big forehead…I’m your guy.
- Keeping it in the family…Wait…are they siblings?
- A racetrack…was that the best you could do?
- It’s for emergencies.
- Question: You ready to have your mind blown? Is that your ring finger?
- Got to recharge the ring…touch the lamp…ahh green.
- Wait…don’t they always get the girl? Going to use the Superman outside your window.
- Came with the outfit…the mask
- What’s the worst that could happen…if you didn’t quit for once.
- He quit the Corp…I’m pretty good at walking away.
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