Before I start I would like to preemptively apologize for discussing certain bodily functions that are typically off the table in ordinary times. But these my friends…. are not ordinary times.
So…from the top…
Sorry guys, I know I’m running a bit late today. I had some trouble with the usual pre-show dook…oh wait…can I say dook? How about dookie..that kinda takes the sting out of that word…makes it a little more palatable right? Oh please tell me you guys take a pre-show dookie? Do you really want to be in the middle of the show and get hit with a runny stank? Oh the humanity.
Anywho, while I was doing my bidness I reached for some TP and *gasp* there was none! Well my kids must have heard me crying and brought me a roll they had been hoarding from me as apparently I’m a bit of an over consumer when it comes to paper tickets. So they saved my life! You might would say they “intervened!” Man, I have the greatest kids.
Brrr…where is that breeze coming from? I must have left the window open while I was doing the do. Hold on a second and I will just get that. oh no…. my coffee!! Right on my mixer man! ah man…just going to sling this XLR cable around my neck so I can get a better angle to clean up this mess…woah…perhaps waxing my office floor so close to show time was a mistake!
woah woah woah… OH DOOKIE! CHOKE…GAG…GA..
Final Destination (2000) – Like running into Candyman at the morgue is when you realize you’re playing Chess while Death is playing Jenga. eek this tea is scaring me!
- Finally…The Destination
- Thunder and the lightening!
- This kid has all the scary toys and metal fan! This room is death.
- Going to France!
- Touring France and Death of a Salesman
- A history Lesson…
- Somebody turn off that death fan of evil!
- Fate. Evil. Fan. This is the END!
- Todd and Georges dad just called.
- Got to keep your tag on your bag for good luck.
- Let dad paint the picture for you: “So 17 on the loose, senior trip with your Friends, in Paris 10 days in the Spring Time…live it up Alex…you got your whole life ahead of you.” – Dad
- How is Alex supposed to sleep with all that page flipping going on in his room
- Tropic of Cancer…The bookworm
- Hare Rama…is that still a thing in the airports?
- Your birthday is the same as your departure time…what does it mean?! Your clock says 180 like your flight…you have to watch for the signs!
- Now she is reading a magazine
- Final Destination…France…noooo!
- Gate 46…what does it mean.
- Let’s go take a shit…That watery sting.
- I can not shit on command.
- John Denver! He died in a plane crash! Things I think of while taking a shit.
- Rocky Mountain High
- A really f’ed up god to take this plane down.
- This film is intense and ratcheted up.
- Stiffler eating a bag of whoppers?
- Whoppers…like little shitballs?
- There they go…here we stay.
- Agent Weine and Schrek? hehe
- Survivors Guilt!
- She believed Alex!
- Maybe she should hug her books?
- Her name is Clear?
- 287 Passengers…Dead!
- All this lightening! holy poop…
- 39 days since we lost 39 students.
- Don’t memorialize my air death with a giant flying bird.
- Why don’t you stay off the J.D. Carter.
- Billy you will live forever!
- Mrs. Lewton is a charm.
- This kid is always pooping. Pooping is his life
- Not a good plan to have all of that explosive plane stuff in your possession.
- Death comes on the wind.
- haha…in typical teen fashion…when faced with death…turn to porn.
- Dude…do not dry shave…ouch…then cut your nose hairs…this movie makes me uncomfortable! Also, that is some blue ass toilet water.
- Why is this guy so in tune with the murder death kill?
- no…not Tod!
- That was some mighty graphic dying
- I like how death leaves no evidence. Slurp up the toilet water.
- Didn’t you see it…Tod killed himself because of the guilt! Nooooo
- I’m just a loner girl who likes to read, weld and be empathic.
- It’s bad luck to stand in a casket.
- Whatever made him Tod is gone.
- “In death there are no accidents…no mishaps…no escapes.”
- Death’s Design. If you figure out the design you can cheat death.
- Death got a whole new design!
- Don’t cheat death…he is vengeful.
- No harm. No Foul.
- The mortician is death’s keeper?
- Death will show us signs?
- The “What if…” meeting….”I have a plan.”
- Death likes to get all of it’s victims in one place.
- “I’m moving on Carter. With this bus….eeek”
- Death’s design is kind of lame…Death by the numbers.
- “no…you know the whole French thing…you get on the plane.”
- John Denver’s greatest hits to die by.
- “I’m not going Dahmer on you guys.” odd…that is not what he is doing at all.
- There are a lot of clocks in frame in this movie.
- Notice the signs Lewton!
- Scream and throw the tea out! pour in the vodka! Profit!
- He’s reading the ashes!
- ok…come on death…that is just over-kill on Miss Lewton
- You are a poor planner kid.
- Billy is everybody’s whipping boy
- Carter is a dick and has odd taste in music.
- Clear’s dad was shot in the head when she was 10.
- Just a small thing can create a big thing
- Clear’s Dad’s cabin in the woods.
- “I knew I should have felt up Tammy in the pool that time.” – Billy
- His seatbelt was gone and then it was back.
- Billy open the door! Billy…open the doooooor
- I guess it was that conductor’s time as well.
- Billy was next.
- You should’ve been dead.
- Gods don’t die…
- Do you have your death fighting kit? Duct tape, wine corks gloves and potted meat rations…pretty sure that is going to kill you.
- Ok..I’m onto you death….
- I like how death has to be low key…until it strikes and then it is on like Donkey Kong.
- Paddling on a lake at night Alex..really…you are playing right into death’s hands.
- Fritz the dog is like…Die human…I am out
- Death is always playing Chess while I’m playing Jenga.
- Everybody knows if you sacrifice yourself for love that death has to suck it.
- Six months later in Paris…oh no…not John Denver again!
- Who would go to Paris…after all of that.
- You’re next!