INTRO
Oh hi,
Yes? yes, this is Sarge…What am I doing? right now? Oh Nothing much, Just sitting here shirtless in front of my computer shopping for shirts that I will most likely outgrow in a month. What’s that? Semper Fi, Shop or Die? oh yes…very clever sir.
So, what can we do for you today? Are my guys up for a quick trip to Mars by way of the bowels of the Nevada desert? Yeah, we can do that. Hey, has anyone told Elon Musk we found that portal? No, so he’s still shooting his cars into space? Man, he’s gonna be so bummed when he finds out. Sorry rocket man, maybe smoking pot can be your new hobby..
Anywho, Hey, while I have you on the line sir….can you look into getting me access to one of those BFGs for the barracks. The other guys here never invite me to indoor batting practice anymore and I feel like a Big Friendly Gun would really go a long way towards making things right.
Hey! Wait a minute…Reaper! As in Grimm Reaper…because his last name is Grimm….ohhhh…I just got that. Now my handle seems kind of lazy….Sarge… Doot Doot
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419706/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doom_(film)
Doom (2005) – Like an extra chromosome of bad movie making. Doot Doot
SHOW NOTES
Year 2026 Portal to Mars (The Ark) In Nevada…who made it? Musk?
Mars has gotten a lot of bad movies about it.
How did that portal work the first time? You go in…you are on mars…and dead.
Lab coats run!
Doctor Carmack…hehe…he is out of here…just like ID software
LVL 5 Break! Quarantine.
Just computing shirtless.
That is some weak game system or 2026
Pretty sure you should not be taking batting practice in the barracks.
RRTS
You hesitate…people die.
Stairway to heaven. Elevator to hell. It’s always easier to go to hell.
standard quarantine…6 hours.
Portal Ball…
Wheels! He lost his ass to another universe.
What…they don’t have bras on Mars?
Reaper Grimm…I GET IT!
Got to mark the way.
This movie is dark.
dummy…don’t touch stuff when an asshole tells you to touch it…electrified!
Who had the BFG schematics pulled up.
Lucy…found on Mars!
Who was Daddy Grimm? Why did he teach them to look at how many chromosomes?
“You don’t shield a baby from time” -Grimm Speak
Just gonna Van Gogh myself real quick. Rip my ear off.
Carmack. Logic before emotion. I wonder what Carmack thought about his namesake character?
Little green pills! Doot Doot. Let’s get jacked. Doot Doot. Adrenaline. Doot Doot.
ow…arm gore. I took him name in vain…so going to poke my vein
Nah Nah… I don’t do Nano Walls.
“A Monkey…Some kind of monkey!”
Look at the size of that needle they are taking his blood out with. LOOK AT IT!
Everybody is always talking about bagging and tagging…but I never see the bagging or the tagging.
Portman is weird…did they dub all of his dialogue?
Grimm lost his parents.
Pinky no legs. pinky wheels.
Dr. Willittits!! NOOOOO
Great melee move Reaper
He dead
is she going to scream every time Goat bangs his head on the glass?
BFG Big Friendly Gun
Portman has nervous bowel
haha…Destroyer cage match with what used to be lab assistant Johnson.
Destroyer got destroyed.
Why do they have test animals if it is archaeological research.
Chromosome 24
Carmack is a rocket scientist
Chromosome will either make you an angel or a devil
Pinky must have been extra evil
Everything after Grimm’s C-24 injection was a dream?
The whole movie should have been like the last 20 minutes
