INTRO
Oh hi,
Well I got to go. Thank you for making the sweet sweaty 1600’s Caribbean love to me in your man wig, you heartless Lieutenant of the royal army. Ahhh..that’s right….I knew that you knew that I was the Lady Pirate More-gaaaahn and you were only fiddling with my lady bits to get to the bounty on my booty.
Oh don’t bother with your gun. See…I took your balls….well actually the monkey took your balls…anyway…the point is…I have your balls…so I guess the takeaway here is it’s a real Cuttscrote Island around here and you let a monkey touch your balls.
Now I must go ride horses as fast as horses will let you ride them…so fast in fact that they will have to film us in slow motion making it seem like we are going even faster…. yet… somehow slower. Confusing I know…but you have the next 2 hours to try and make sense of it all.
I can’t believe you let the monkey watch. Randy.
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112760/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutthroat_Island
Cutthroat Island (1995) – I knew that you knew you would not like this movie. 2 hours later. Monkey likes to watch.
SHOW NOTES
- Yarr….CuttScrote Island! There…I said it
- It is Lionsgate…oh ….and then another Lion MGM…how about a 3rd? Nope. Carolco.
- Swashbuckling music intro….let us go on an adventure
- Renny Harlin! Genna Davis! Matthew Modine! Frank….oh yeah…I don’t know him.
- 1668 Jamaica Man.
- There is an indication that there was hot monkey love.
- She is a pirate!
- I knew that you knew…I took your balls…well the monkey took your balls…anyway…the point is…I have your balls…good monkey ball taker.
- Father sent for you 2 days ago…
- She ride horse fast…the angry the human the faster the horse….Go horse go.
- It is slow mo Genna Davis everything.
- Our Brother Richard’s Bloody Map from his bloody dead hands.
- The Reaper! Boat.
- Harry hid the map in his head. Harry peg leg.
- Taking an anchor dive to die….
- Dawg is a bad, Uncle Mordacei
- The Morning Star is yours. mmm veggie burgers
- On his head…not in his head.
- So that is a horrible plan….did he wear a hat while his hair grew back over the map?
- Plopper, Squitter….Mandy Rickets…say hi.
- Feeling up the Rickets
- Man there are a lot of ugly people at the dance…how to have that casting call?
- The men aren’t going to listen to you.
- Daddy is dead…let’s get drunk
- Holy hell….she scalped him! Did they cut that scene. Also, She can’t read Latin…or maps.
- Port Royal.
- 3 pieces of map. Dawg Brown. Harry Black. Mordechai, Red? Richard White?
- The sword challenge…
- Ah Latin. The Romance Language. – Stop your chatter and say something Latin’ish
- 40 Pounds…sold to the lady with the monkey…
- Knife to the ass.
- The Monkey’s name is King Charles.
- What a healthy slave trade in Port Royale.
- Genna Davis; action star
- At least his is proper slow-mo and not that trash slow mo.
- Oh wow….”I must visit that shop again, when I have the time.” Genna Davis … “I find myself being fired upon by an entire ship”, “You certainly left your mark on this town.” – Modine
- 200 pounds to find her
- Who is this John Reed…writer.
- So it was not Latin…but mirror writing…but he is a map reader as well?
- Pirate writer.
- Dinner for Crows.
- Wow…how is Francis from Malcolm in the Middle so young in 95!
- She found a Genna Davis look alike…I wonder if she was the stunt double.
- “The old Turtle has its needs.”
- She is going to take care of them all…later…
- Harry’s Blessed Head!
- If you were an Adams! Uncle Moracaieaiai
- His map is well hid…is it on his ass?
- That guy is a Chain-iac
- Nasty Eel is Nasty…also, easy movie prop…just have an actor giggle it around.
- The slave trade didn’t give her the key.
- Accidental running through…you killed my brother!
- This music is pretty tight but derivative.
- Uncle Douglas Dawg remembers a lot about her childhood.
- Mordechai Map was on a plaque? Board?
- Was Mordechai’s place made of explosives?
- That Hand Cannon was pretty sweet. Is that an actual thing?
- Was that Barrel to the head intentional? I have a feeling there was a lot of happy accidents.
- The numbers! On the Hand. 11, 75 and 42…it is the longitude….duh…what did you think would be on a map. As they relate to the hand?
- His map was in the Eel Barrel
- Congratulations Madame…that was another town you destroyed.
- I have been shot!
- It is festering….the ball in her wound….hot poker should do it.
- Spanish Gold Ship. The Largest
- Have you even taken out a musket ball from the body if you don’t drop it into a metal bowl and here it plink once you get it out.
- Monkey likes to watch.
- Monkey Smell No Evil
- Uncle Dawg will have his day.
- Using this Piratical Stuff for writing.
- “In the boat under the seaty thing.”
- that is always the answer in pirate movies…I will strand you.
- Fly little bird! Take the map to the bad people!
- I’m the captain of this longboat now. Row hard!
- Uh…you missed Shaw.
- We found Cutthroat Island! We don’t have a boat…but we found it.
- So is there not 4 pieces to the map? at least one of those maps would be shit and useless.
- Why is Dawg’s map all bloody? If it is his map and it the part that shows to actual treasure.
- Underestimate the con man.
- Bitch Stole My Map!
- Do spiders bleed human blood?
- Now he can smell her? He seen her flinching when she was a kid…
- Quicksand. The trouble with liars
- She just wants everyone to bend the knee…is that so much to ask?
- Is that scalp getting flatter, smoother and less hairy?
- The problem with paces is that they are paces.
- Paces are apparently non-directional.
- “Down the throat to the belly of gold.” Harry I found it.
- Just a pile of treasure….perhaps the most unassuming pile of treasure I have seen.
- I got 4 million pounds…let’s make a trade…gimmie Morgan
- haha…They have a lot to say to each other don’t they now.
- Love. Who can explain it.
- Trotter is a goober.
- Privateer of the crown…much better than pirate
- Governor of Jamiaca is his aim.
- Mor-Gone – Glasspole
- King Charles in a box. Salut
- Smile Mr. Trotter…Goood…Goood
- Blair’s eye!
- Mr. Shaw. ..hanging
- I think Mr. Blair has a crush on Shaw…saved him
- They are so many. We are so few.
- Can she not hear him?
- No…Not Blair! The wheel of doom!
- That is a lot of back and forth at the wheel of doom.
- Sure we could fight on the deck…but it is way more pirate to do it on the Main Sail
- Join Uncle…you don’t have to die.
- This fight is exhausting.
- Ha! Bad Dawg…that was the payoff to the whole setup?
- We are alive together.
- I got me treasure…let’s do some farming.
- You win the pirate lottery and you don’t quit your pirate job because you love pirating.
- Madagascar is up next.
