Cobra (1986) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we put on our Copland issued snake skin running boots and leg chaffing skinny jeans and chase down HBO Max for some -oh oh- blisters -ow- the chaffing – it hurts so much to run – screw it … Stop or My Mom will shoot this 1986 Over The Top action crime drama set in … Los Angeles? Really?…well I’m sure Randy will have something to say about that…so smoosh your ample nose inside of some panty hose, we about to kill some tropes.

Anywho, In America in, in 1986, there’s a burglary every 11 seconds, an armed robbery every 65 seconds, a violent crime every 25 (tweenty five) seconds. a murder every 24 minutes…and 250 rapes a day… wait I can give you that in minutes as well … let’s see 24 hours in a day .. so that is like 10 rapes an hour…so like..5 rapes every 30 minutes … or 1 rape like every 6 minutes … Yep…Sylvester Stallone has a whole monologue of reading stats in this movie … so I guess we won’t have ANOTHER rape for like 6 minutes…i feel dirty

Randy, …was my grenade fondling keeping you awake? no? just making you horny? Well come here and give me some ketchup kisses. nom nom nom

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BRIEF

Los Angeles policeman Lt. Marion “Cobra” Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone) finds himself at the center of a spate of murders carried out by a secret society called New Order: killers who select “weak” members of society for extermination. As the murder rate rises, Cobra takes model Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen) into protective custody after she witnesses New Order’s leader in action. As Cobra falls for Ingrid, they find shelter in a small town, but must soon fight for survival.

Rated : R

LINKS

IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090859/

WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobra_(1986_film)

Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cobra

TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Cobra

WHERE TO WATCH

HBO Max – https://play.hbomax.com/player/urn:hbo:feature:GWSL-DgChOq6-wgEAAABP

MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/cobra

TRAILER/CLIPS

 

TWITTER

Cobra (1986) – This movie brought to you by Pepsi, Coke, RC and a giant cheeseburger that makes Stallone say…uhhh… #ThatIsTooMuchKetchup

SHOW NOTES

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• Stallone is the man for the job that nobody wants
• In America, there’s a burglary every 11 seconds, an armed robbery every 65 seconds, a violent crime every 25 seconds… cough cough…scuse me…I just woke up thinking about statistics.. a murder every 24 minutes…so that is good at least… and 250 rapes a day … why I chose to flip rapes to days I have no idea…let me do the math…24 hours in a day..so that is like 10 rapes an hour…so like..5 rapes every 30 minutes … or 1 rape like every 6 minutes… – Things to not tell your blind date.
• I have a cobra on my pearl handle.
• On a steel horse I ride with the red sun at my back on my way to the White Guys in power axe performance. It is sweaty work… Skulls! We bang more axes together before the red sunrise than most people bang axes all day…we call it Axe Fit.
• But wait…that is reserved for the handicap! You monster!!
• Holiday shoppers! This is a Holiday movie.
• Slack jaw coming through…Hey pal…hey pal..pal.
• Damn Watermelons and Peanuts…I hate this produce! I am anti-groceries!! call in SWAT. Salad Weapons Assaulted Team.
• Call the cobra
• You can go…you are free…to run and be shot in the back.
• Awsom50!
• Good thing I was  riding around in my hot rod.
• “Just another Asshole who woke up hating the world.”
• I gave up smoking…but not chewing on matches. I CAN’T QUIT ‘EM!! Nom Nom Nom
• Running in boots. Jeans and leather jackets.
• It’s the way of the new world.
• Just gonna crack open a Coors for a little distraction.
• Get those cameras in here.
• Attention Shoppers…Hey dirt bag you are a lousy shot….cleanup on aisle suck my balls.
• Go ahead…I don’t shop here.
• We’ll talk…I’m a sucker for good conversation.
• I don’t deal with psychos. I put them away.
• I’m a hero of the new world.
• You’re the disease and I’m the cure… man…how many one liners can you have.
• Is this related to the night slasher?
• Was it necessary … did he have to die…I used everything I had.
• Clean up your act…
• I’ll just save this paper for grilling later.
• Got to get away…reached my limit.
• mmm…eggs and scissor pizza…that’s not eggs!
• Toy’s Are Us!!
• Would you like a slice of pizza…how about a slice of a slice of pizza.
• The Night Stalked will kill anyone. Old…Young, Informed. with the blunt instruments.
• Everybody is super pissed in this movie…they should call this Pissed.
• You are on the Zombie Squad…Cabriatto
• We got to play by the rules…and as long as we do…we lose.
• Call “The Bastard.” Call “The Cobra” Call the Zombie Cops
• Do what you do best…and try not to waste the wrong guy.
• I would like to celebrate by punching a hole in Monte’s Chest. It’s all the sugar you are eating…prunes…fish…rice..
• City Streets…Homeless… robot.. street walkers…robot …porn … robot …it’s the city!
• security guard is going to be ok…
• Make love to the robots…the shiny robots. tatoo palor…robot music video…sweaty guy … MUSIC VIDEO! Photo Shoot…perm…skimpy suit … Robot…alone and horny.
• Search the streets…
• I think that security guard is going to be ok…
• song you got a panty on your head with eye holes.
• Want to look crazy? Smoosh your nose in some panty hose.
• They went from being really vague to killing just blonde ladies.
• I can’t decide what I like more…sweating and being dirty or sharping my knife real slow…why not both!
• These cops are hungry.
• Wait…what if I dye my hair and let it drip into my eyes. I don’t think I have blinked once this whole movie.
• Working too hard…is getting a lot of play…but just when he is near home.
• They have an understanding about the new parking arrangement.
• Me…look suspicious with my dark slicked back hair and all black attire. Maybe if I add some glasses…hey..you have glasses…stab to the neck.
• This ain’t the photo…toss…neither is this…toss…I’m a messy investigator!!
• That cop at the nurses desk is a meatball.
• Pepsi has sponsored your apartment.
• Get back to the hospital!
• This fight…brought to you by Pepsi
• Hospitals do not turn all the hall lights off…I don’t know why they do this in movies.
• Pretty Hair….
• Does that moron realize he is trying to crash a door in the wrong direction.
• This may be the most stabby movie I have ever seen. Strikes fast like a cobra!
• You would run like that too if you were running in jeans and boots and a leather jacket…seems impractical.
• This is one smart victim.
• You didn’t say the magic word… PLEASE
• Man of few words.
• Cobretti…did you know you have an attitude problem…yeah..but it is just a little one…shows fingers.
• I want to eat or drink in at least 75% of my scenes…and if I can’t eat or drink something…I need a match..
• You got to follow the rules…do your thing…oh c’mon… follow the rules! You have complete control…what are you doing!!
• What is this No Color DIck Tracy bullshit ride you got here.
• Did they kill Gonzales? you bastards.
• Put on your weird belt.
• Headlights…where we are going…we don’t need headlights.
• Santa Clause car attendant.
• They must have gotten a deal on parking garage
• how many of those cars did they destroy? Cars are not supposed to take that kind of abuse.
• Do you know what time it is? Time to get a new car?
• Be funny if she killed him in his car.
• We aren’t up against 1 man…we are up against an army.
• Nobody asked you Monte…
• this movie gets angry and stays angry.
• Coke in the country… Pepsi in the city.
• the deeper you get into the country the lower you go…now are down to RC Cola.
• that is a lot more French Fry action than I need.
• Stallone wants to eat that giant burger…but even he is disgusted by the amount of ketchup she is using… hey you want some fries with that ketchup?
• Oh I’m sorry…was my grenade fondling keeping you awake? no? just making you horny? Well come here and give me some ketchup kisses.
• We attack at dawn!
• Grab your children and get to the church…the stocking and panty hose biker gang is here!
• I still can’t believe they killed the car.
• My partner is over here trying to throw bullets. TONY! TONY!
• Follow me! I have grenades and assault weapons for all.
• Run through the lemon forest.
• Go to the foundry!!
• Too slow sniper man.
• Do you make these in a running boot?
• A dead new world
• oh…if you blind somebody…do you say…”You have the right to remain silent?” probably should have hurt his tongue or blown his jaw off..
• Gee…do you think that big hook on a chain is going to come into play?
• Let’s bleed pig. I want your eyes pig?  You want to go to hell with me? Is he Danzig?
• You can’t stop the new world. We are the future.
• This is where the law stops and I stop and Nancy comes flying in.
• The law is civilized
• Inexplicable Foundry that operates on zero staff…makes sense.
• He’s over the top.
• Oh…the hook..it hurts so much…the hook…it hurts.
• Sears says good job Cobra and do you want some portraits?
• Replace my car? We would like to…but it’s not in the budget.
• No hard feelings, pal.
• I’m just going to drive this evidence back to the station. I defeated you…I get the vehicle.

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