What’s that? Do I have a scary story to tell around the campfire after a long day of being clueless college students on a rampage of ignorance, sexual desires and general tom foolery all in the name of Nuguet? Why Yes…yes I do.
Here then, let me tell you a tale about that one time I heard a weird and unsettling story about my local bowling alley…. or as I like to call it….every story I have ever heard about the local bowling alley.
But first. Look everyone, the director of our movie has decided to inject himself directly into the movie and play the part of Marijuana Jesus; see how he brings enough pot to feed the 5000. Duuude…I’m totally gonna be Smokey the clown.
Anywho, does anyone else feel like they have the cooties? because my crotch is feeling more cootirific than usual. Say, can you guys check me for crotch cooties? I’m sure they are fine to touch. Go ahead….touch my cooties. HA HA…now you have the crotch cooties as well. Hey, let’s go wash them off in the stream!
Directed by Eli Roth. With Jordan Ladd, Rider Strong, James DeBello, Cerina Vincent. Five college graduates rent a cabin in the woods and begin to fall victim to a horrifying flesh-eating virus, which attracts the unwanted attention of the homicidal locals.
Cabin Fever is a 2002 American horror comedy film co-written and directed by Eli Roth (in his directorial debut) and starring Rider Strong, Jordan Ladd, James DeBello, Cerina Vincent, Joey Kern, and Giuseppe Andrews. The story follows a group of college graduates who rent a cabin in the woods and begin to fall victim to a flesh-eating virus.
Cabin Fever (2002) – like a movie you are pretty sure that the entire cast was paid in pot and bottled water…Faced
This looks like it was filmed with film…scary!
Quiet opening…with flies and dirty shit… DECAYING…FASTER…
That is a woods of death.
Duuude…your dog is not snoozing. Also, you gonna smoke that swisher sweet or chaw it?
aww…PSA…don’t go to college…it fucking sucks. I got news for you….
Don’t bogart the smokes or that GBA
The Backseat is not happy.
Put ‘er there sport….yep…I would bite his ass as well.
“Everybody knows….” You don’t sit next to Dennis.
Hey Pal….Hey Mister…Hey Kid…names they call people in horror movies.
Pretty sure washing your hand off in the creek after getting bit…not a good idea. Patient Zero.
He hates humans but likes dogs…go figure.
That store clerk is a bit talky….AND RACIST!
You see that empty spot…used to keep Shirley Temple Glasses…but not since the lady for the Palsey…poor soul.
“Boy, you wanna give me one good reason why you would steal a Snickers bar?” “The Nouget?”
STOP! I LEFT MY MOM’S APPLE JUICE BACK AT THE STORE!
These kids are really the worst. We got the party animal? The lawyer? The just along for the ride…and a couple of chics with no personality thus far.
Bunyan Mountain Getaways
Paul is the worst. 5th wheel?
man…this movie should be called…Stuff you Eli Roth shouldn’t say. Using the word gay as a slur. The N word…twice! and Retard…
Oooh…We are going to approach the subject of Friend Zone as well.
Good…at least Karen is a photographer…it’s not much…and we learned that Paul and Karen have been friends for a very long time.
ok…weird sex scene. At least it’s fun…I suppose? lighthearted?
This is uncomfortable to watch. Especially with patchy chest hair and pits. Is this the 70s? 2002 you could man groom right?
haha…why did you shoot me? is your name chuck? first name wood? Whoa
“Are you fucking Smokey the Clown.” – Brent
Is that your cabin? NO!
Bert gonna just leave the guy in the ditch.
Brighton Bowl story.
Ball-Peen…Hammer to the head…tied in a circle.
The Bald Guy…they are talking about Ibbott….smiling in the ball return.
haha…the I’m cool dude. “I’m cool…I’m cool.”
haha…Scratch-moded. and his dog. yeah…he’s cool…this is Dr. Mambo. “Yeah…he’s a professor…OF BEING A DOG! oooh! faced…”
This is exactly how Eli Roth auditions go… “no…I don’t want to be in your movie…oh…is that pot…awesome.”
Oh…so you are like a skater…that is your occupation? Grim. Justin….
Burn the hermit…shoot the hermit…don’t touch me hermit.
Nothing but beer may work out if the water is contaminated.
I specially requested water with no Hermit flesh in it.
The guys went in the entirely opposite direction of the girl.
You city boys never seen a country girl gut a pig. Now listen to my hollering.
We already been to town today.
haha…it was totally Henry…Henry the Hermit! We burnt his ass up. Your cousin is so dead.
You should always wear a life preserver while on a boat…unless you have your own built in.
good one…great use of the Butt cam. What a weird shot…I mean the movement slowed down and the audio ramped up….we couldn’t even see the house in the background.
Officer Winston/Olsen is a creep.
“They all know you got 5 pounds of dangling meat…” “Yeah I know that phrase.”
Hey…when I go party up in Wambusau
Dr. Mambo is back…and
This is all Jeff’s mom’s idea. Let’s get a cabin.
Under the gun…literally..work faster Bert.
Well…this is inappropriate behavior…also, gross…I do not need that much audio during unrequested fingering.
Say what you like about Bert. He’s a dick…but he’s the only one with any survival skills. Good Guy Bert…trying to save everyone.
Karen…you are making our point with your grossy face sores.
Jeff is dick.
Shit Bert…you just lost the bet…and your life.
They did not stay outside for Karen.
The disease works for the inside out and attacks the groin first.
haha…something about that truck…that is when everyone starts spewing blood.
Bert…man of action. While everyone else is talking and cowering
Her reaction to stressful situations is to have the sex? Yeah…that’s not a thing…haha…I’m healthy…and I’m just gonna wash my dick off with fire.
Pancakes!!! Pancakes!! Damnit Dennis….don’t kung fu at me with Pancake style.
Lucille’s problem! Fenster…Rifle.
Fenster…We’ll need the kit. Whats in the kit?
It’s in the water! Now you are in the water!!
Marcy does some weird shit to handle stress.
Dr. Mambo ate all that he loved.
Faced…he had to face her…Faced! His love was so superficial.
He done gone kill crazy
Wait…if they killed the director…who is making the movie!!
Now he’s killing the wildlife…he’s on a rampage!
haha…Winston…what about the Tow Truck…
Shoot ’em on site.
You heard that Walkie Talkie Dude…
Swallowing a harmonica…could be worse…no…no it couldn’t
At this point he is making no effort to NOT spew on everyone.
haha…wheel chair nope guy…nope…
He looked like Bert’s Marshmallow.
Paul is taking a trip.
Why did you go back to the cabin fool?
Why does Winston think there is another one in the basement?
Who are these people drinking all the creek water.
Yep….5 cent lemonade is what you should pay for creek water lemonade.
So the Hillbillies are the good guys?
The Bunny Man in the credits is listed as We will never tell.