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This week on Filmsack we put on our murder money, pushing boots and go simple when we throw away all of our bedroom window blinds and head over to HBO Max for some “ceiling fan set on low” deep thought staring action deep in the heart of 1984 Texas. Deep. So hop on the bar Blood we about to drop some Tops “Same Old Song” into the jukebox and bury this first of the Coen brother’s movies alive.
Anywho, I started a new side hustle this week. It’s kind of a niche market though. Yep, for a few thousand dollars I will pretty much do anything you want…so long as what you want is taking photos of people sleeping in beds next to windows with no blinds or curtains. Hell…even if you don’t want the photos I’m going to take them anyway and show them to you..but I’m gonna need ’em back …ok…oh..and I do some photoshopping on the side of my side hustle…so if I paste a dick butt meme on the ass cheeks of your cheating lover that you can’t unsee … well, no extra charge.
Randy, you got anymore of that Alka Seltzer and Milk you keep on your desk next to that photo of your wife and your hairy chest…WHY SO MUCH HAIR! BARF
“Blood Simple” was the first feature film from Joel and Ethan Coen. This is the newly restored and re-edited director’s cut of the film, introduced by Mortimer Young. The stylish crime thriller premiered at film festivals in 1984. “Blood Simple” begins deep in the heart of Texas, where a jealous saloon owner hires a cheap divorce detective to kill the saloon owner’s younger wife and her bartender lover. But the detective gets a better idea: he follows the two lovers, and…
IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086979/
WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Simple
Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/blood_simple
TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/BloodSimple
WHERE TO WATCH
HBO MAX – https://play.hbomax.com/player/urn:hbo:feature:GXk3jtQ4c054_wwEAAAXD
MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/blood-simple
Blood Simple (1984) – I ain’t a marriage counselor, but this movie may be more Hairy Hedaya than any one McDormand can handle. #AlkaSeltzerAndMilk
- How simple is this blood?
- Criterion and Janus…this is quality.
- The world is full of complainers…nothings comes with a guarantee…I don’t care if you are the man of the year. Complain tell your problem to your neighbors…watch his fly…in Russia…they all pull together…what I know about is Texas…you are on your own.
- Gave me a .38 for our first anniversary…figured I better leave. I’m just an employee…how do you suffer him. Maybe something is wrong with him.
- But I like ya…I always liked ya.
- She is headed to Houston.
- Ratchet the tension up to 11..that is Coen for ya.
- “I ain’t a marriage counselor.”
- Let’s head back tot he hotel and have passing light in the dark sex.
- Alka Seltzer and Milk on his desk…suffers from the stress
- Don’t leave your hotel window open.
- Loren the lighter.
- In Greece…they would cut off the messenger who brought the bad news. Smoke rings.
- You’re always assuming the worst.
- Why did you go and take the pictures…
- What rock to turn over…very very good.
- Give me a call whenever you want to cut off my head…I can always crawl around without it.
- Hold it Hold it….gimmie that quarter…time to play some same old song.
- So Duece in the corner needs help.
- You want to hustle me and I don’t want to be hustled.
- She got 3 bullets.
- I just got to see a guy.
- Volcano talk at the bar…Meurice is a talker…like a good bartender.
- If you aren’t gonna fire me…I might as well quit. You owe me for 2 weeks.
- What are you a fucking Marriage Counselor?
- That’s what’s fucking funny. Bzzzt…zap bug.
- Fair notice.
- Just watched a dumpster fire…now watching the ceiling fan…are you watching the ceiling fan as well…around and around it goes.
- I’m staying right here in hell.
- He planted a little doubt and the rest is done.
- If she’s not doing you she is doing somebody else.
- oops…we did it again..but I ain’t no marriage counselor
- Opel? What are you doing here?
- Let’s do it outside…in nature..
- Thumb break and shot to the nuts…I think she can take care of herself.
- Nut shot so hard makes you puke.
- Who’s a good boy…you are…you are a good boy.
- I would have liked to seen his face when he saw the dead end.
- Hey mister…how’d you break your pussy finger.
- She saw me rolling a cigarette…thought it was marijuana
- Isn’t that wild…
- Stick your finger up the wrong person’s ass.
- Trying to protect his bad hand…broke his good hand….that’s the test of true love…
- If it pays right and it’s legal I’ll do it….well…if it pays right…I’ll do it.
- You been thinking about it so much…it will make you go simple. You are really stupid.
- In Russia… In Russia…they make only .50 cent a day.
- There is a big incinerator behind my place.
- Go fishing…get yourself noticed.
- I was just explaining to Mr. Garcia that he moved out yesterday.
- How about it gentlemen…yeah….
- Do these people not believe in blind or curtains.
- Abby, in here, I’m anal… (points to head)
- I got a lot of personality.
- and I got to go to the psychiatrist.
- It’s the VW bug of doooom
- She keeps a gun in her purse…where it is?
- 3 bullets by the lighter light.
- There are a lot crickets.
- The back door is wide open…the front door may be locked.
- Those fish are gross…here is your sick fishies.
- Don’t go simple on me.
- I’m going to want that picture back.
- 2nd vomit for Mr. Simple
- You did say something about the money.
- I have been very very careful…have you been very very careful.
- We have to learn to be discreet…trust each other…for richer or poorer…your marriages don’t turn out so hot.
- The less you know about it the better.
- I must have gone money simple..
- Here is your money… count it and go. 3 murders.
- Slowly fan myself with my hat.
- Who looks stupid now. You do Mr. Lighter Loren…you left with the fish.
- How do you get behind the bar? Bar hopping.
- Do did he photoshop it?
- he kicked the gun and it shot…does he think he shot him? He is going to go simple….
- Don’t touch the gun stupid…omg…he is so stupid.
- man…that is a lot of work.
- I love the fact that they keep playing “The same old song…over and over.”
- Looks like you are doing all the work.
- man…that incinerator is running non-stop.
- We will be experiencing the Jupiter Effect.
- It is my belief this AntiChrist is alive.
- WKJL through the night.
- He’s alive!! RUN!!
- Oh shit…he is gone.
- Well…that took care of itself..Well…maybe I better just run him over.
- It’s shoveling time.
- He talks a lot about violence..but he ain’t done it yet.
- That truck is coming mighty fast.
- Blood Spew!
- Should I kill him…should I bury him…
- He is blood simple…I can’t shoot you…my pussy finger is broke.
- There were 3 bullets…only heard 2…
- Give me that gun…shhhh…I gott the gun now.
- Bury him alive? Rude…Tamp the grave…tamp it.
- Hey Ray
- He photoshopped that shit.
- He kept a photo and you left your lighter
- Meanwhile…a ceiling fan…does a ceiling fan spin if nobody is watching.
- No thanks lady…I am just going to sit in this chair.
- Where the hell is my windbreaker.
- The only thing they taught me in the service is don’t point a gun unless you are..
- I cleaned it all up.
- Who is on the phone…nobody…got to be him.
- you left you weapon behind
- Why you take the money Ray…But I ain’t laughing Ray Bob so you know it’s no joke.
- This place done been ransackled
- Play the piano notes….think…harder…think!
- A lot of sleeping in this movie…or lack of sleeping.
- stealthy big boy
- The truth is…he was alive when I buried him..
- Look at this photograph…every time it makes me…barf
- We dead in this photo.
- The backseat bleeds.
- No curtains on the windows.
- You do anything and the neighbors will hear.
- I love you too..but you are scared.
- I told you to turn off the lights.
- Shoe at the lights…the shoes in this movie are doing a lot of work.
- The neighbors will hear…but apparently not.
- Locks are pointless
- All these rooms are huge.
- One of you has my personal property
- yellow suit and a hat.
- What ould curious george think.
- the ole knife to the creeping hand…the hand that creeps into my window
- slowly pulling a knife out of your banana hand.
- the creeped becomes the creeper.
- I’m not afraid of you Marty…she thought he was Marty.
- Well Ma’am if I see him…I will sure give him the message.
- Why the drip? Why was he worried about that? What is up with the dripping in this movie.
- Same song with a different meaning since you been gone.