The Quick and the Dead (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on THE QUICK AND THE DEAD sack, no not the one from the 90s with the smooth faced kid from growing pains, the 80s one with the sexy voice man who won’t stop hitting on your pretty for the prairie wife. Wooah Sam Elliot… Woooah… easy boy.. why don’t you holster that lady killer of a mustache and give the rest of us a shot in this 1987 HBO Made for TV Western about a couple of mixed-race Native Americans beefing over ‘you shot my ma’ and now I don’t care how many outlaw gangs and pilgrims I have to put at risk to avenge the death of my … gee mister… your wife sure is handsome “is something we used to say about the ladies.” Oh Susanna don’t you cheat me…  I came from Pennsylvania with P-T-S-D… I’mma kill ’em

Anywho, pro tip… if you are ever riding your horse across the mid 1800s flats of Wyoming and you come across a full bedroom set up “out of doors” as though “in of doors”… keep moseying… that there is a trap that ends with your death. Howdy partner. 

Randy, calling that tree branch you beat the crap out of that guy with, “a stick” is like calling Sam Elliot’s mustache just a “few facial hairs.”  Now excuse me while I pop a squat by your fire.

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BRIEF

A mysterious stranger rides into town seeking revenge for a past injustice. As tensions rise and old wounds reopen, a final confrontation looms between gunfighters bound by history and regret.

1987 | Western | HBO | 1h 34m

LINKS

IMDB: The Quick and the Dead (1987)

Wikipedia: Quick and the Dead (1987) Wiki

Rotten Tomatoes: RT Page

WHERE TO WATCH

Streaming: [Check availability on JustWatch]

TRAILER/CLIPS

Social Media Post

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The Quick and the Dead (1987) – Worst family road trip ever…. taking place in the station wagon of the old west… and ending with mom kissing not dad. #NotMyPa

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SHOW NOTES

• This some kind of Western or Sumptin?
• Wyoming Territory 1876 … a real shit hole
• Hey Pa… where we at? Somewhere is dry old and dusty Wyoming.
• Hey dad… I’m riding in the way back even in the 1800s… I got this horse! 
• I think the only way to describe this native American as he is portrayed in this movie is Injun.
• haha… I’m a half breed. Serve the white man in me.
• Hey Breed… who told you to come here.
• Randy, I heard anyone can ride with you.
• I’ve been making some wider circles… ok ok.. I got lost.
• I’ve been tracking this Indian for 300 miles… it’s personal.
• oh my… this little watering hole is the hot spot.
• Hey fellas! Hey Criminals… I see some Pilgrims coming.
• The covered wagon.. the 1800s answer to the Family Station Wagon.
• Bender Slacks? You mean that one legged drunk.
• We had to leave the train cause of the gassy farts.
• Sweep out the spider leavings and the cooties…. its all yours.
• Terrible idea to bring your attractive wife along to the desperate men club.
• Garlic and Sweat women.
• You are a mighty handsome woman ma’am
• Hell misters… those aren’t my horses.
• Folks generally make their own laws out here.
• Mind if I pop a squat by your fire and hit on your woman. 
• Are you his woman. If your husband don’t come back. You are going to have to make a choice. Me or them.
• You said bring them horses in… we brought them in. 
• He used that family as a distraction. A little subterfuge 
• They killed my boy… somebody get a shovel.
• Her name is Suzanna.. did they make the song about her.
• No no… he is no gunfighter… like in the dime magazines.
• Well they were 8 of them this morning.
• Randy, we are going in nice and slow… cause I ain’t riding into any headshot.
• Hey Breed… use the native American part of you to track down these pilgrims.
• We got a flat…
• Dad was a teacher before we left home.
• Who packed this wagon… now it is time to use the ole Sam Elliot Back Jack to change your flat.
• Leave half these priceless heirlooms right now.
• Damn… your wife is fine… just don’t say it out loud.
• Not a lot to do in the old west. Cept, creep up on some Pilgrims and steal their horses and mules… oh… and the woman.
• Wonder why it is that the men who plead for mercy.. never give it. pew
• Anybody want his boot? Yeah I think I can fit into a size 12 boot.
• It is a Harmonica Moment.
• That kid is really into the dime novels.
• I’ll stop saying she is pretty… but I can’t stop staring.
• Randy, I ain’t running no school here.
• Names don’t mean much out here.
• The dark stranger of the prairie. 
• Black foot Indian Mama… and my daddy..
• Breed vs Breed…
• No sir… it ain’t the worse… Pa… what’s worse than them killing mom? Pa? what’s worse?
• Hey Pa, what we gonna do if they come and the cool guy wasn’t here.
• I wish Pa was more like the cool guy.
• Doc and his Bowler Hat.
• Red is a horn dog.
• Dad is a heavy sleeper.
• Good lord.. she beat the shit out of the guy. She said she hit him with a stick… nah.. that was a tree limb.
• Why do you love that little wiener loaf of a husband.
• Randy, that was a mistake…. I know.
• Oh come on… she is going to make out with the gunslinger… now I hate her… and she just earned all them cowboy creds after beating a man to death with a stick.
• Vallian? Like Villain but scrambled.
• He was in the war…
• You ain’t leaving me as crow bait.
• I didn’t say he was special. 
• This Breed killed my mother… now I ride away! 
• that is one long trip going at walking speed.
• Crazier you seem the less likely they are to kill you… Even a white crazy!
• Says they are hungry… those are not horse hairs on that spear…
• Ok my naked homies.. Let’s ride out.
• Custards dead… it at the little big horny. But my brother… the handsome one.
• There is always time for a waterfall bath in my undies. 
• Who me… just riding up on you sexy waterfall shower.
• We sold the house and sent the money to John.
• Suzanna what does this have to do with you.
• I didn’t shoot anyone… 
• The meek ain’t going to inherit anything west past Chicago.
• Bye Boy…
• Mister, I want you to stop making my Pa look bad in front of my mother.
• Just like an Indian. Never where they supposed to be.
• He was a sergeant in the union war.
• We just kill what we need to live… like a wolf or a bear!
• Ugh… he winged me. Bought shot my mustache off.
• Where you shot? Long away from my heart.
• Which is the fun part… the digging out of the bullet or the cauterizing of the wound
• Unload that wagon…. Free Stuff on the Prairie
• Hey pay… do we have time to set up our stuff like some outdoor bedroom?
• You should have finished me Indian… pew
• Do you love him. No. I don’t love him. But I do want to jump his hairy mustache.
• He shot the man who shot his Ma. I guess I’ll just collapse right here on the trail 
• We started out with 8… only 4 of us.
• Payback for Red’s Face.
• Ike there… is a voice talking to me inside.
• Randy, another place another time I would have chased you until you dropped.
• Ike’s little brother is out.
• Duncan stop… we about to lay claim to this cabin. We live here now… oh… 
• The sky does somehow seem bigger.
• Oh Duncan we could make a good life out here… 
• Randy, there may be some more bad before the good begins.
• Man. She will just kiss anyone.
• Mother, can I have a dog… sure… if you can find one.
• Hide the dog.
• I’ve worked hard everyday of my life mister… working on staying alive.
• Stupid kids always giving away your position with little boats.
• Come out and talk. Nope… leave us alone! Cabin fire? ok ok.
• Red never stood a chance.
• Those who live in kindlin houses should not start gun fights and run into the house.
• I sound like Ike? 
• It’s something else to kill a man when you are looking him in the eye… ain’t it pilgrim.
• haha… the whole family pulling guns is pretty funny. You folks are quick. But you still got to remember to watch your back.
• I like seeing your fine looking woman anytime.
• Hi boy. Bye boy.
• Randy, I told you my pa was tough.