INTRO
Oh hi,
This week on filmsack we go UNDER the cover of the full moon light and get into an age-old battle with our sworn enemy…the NETFLIX…. Netflix you blood sucking bastard!! Let me share my password with my mom ya jerk. Don’t make me go all Wolf Man on you…trust me…you won’t like me when I’m Hairy…er…than usual. ! Fine…then she can just call you for tech support. How is that for cost saving ya jerk. What a WORLD. What a world.
Anywho, Who’s ready for a rousing game of Don’t Wake Vampire Daddy the board game? Alight, I’ll just place Dehydrated Vampire Daddy in the middle of the board in his death metal AF coffin and cute little nightcap and we’ll just set the timer for 6 centuries. Shhh papa…us kids will be good…we promise. Oh shit Ibbott did you just land on Incest and Betrayal…ohhh…Papa ain’t going to like that…good thing I got this Date a Lycan card…oh hi Papa..were we being too loud? MAKE CHOKING NOISES.
Randy, quick grab papa’s blood enema…we got some ‘splaining to do.
BRIEF
Under cover of night, vampires engage in an age-old battle with their sworn enemies, the Lycans, a clan of violent werewolves. Selene (Kate Beckinsale), a vampire orphaned in the wake of a bloody Lycan attack, works for the vampire clan as a trained killer. When the Lycans take a mysterious interest in Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman), an exceptional mortal doctor, Selene struggles to save him from Lucian (Michael Sheen), a ruthless Lycan leader hellbent on ending the vampire bloodline.
LINKS
IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0320691
WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underworld_(2003_film)
Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/underworld
TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Underworld2003
WHERE TO WATCH
Netflix – https://www.netflix.com/title/60031210?source=35
MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/search?q=Underworld
TRAILER/CLIPS
Underworld (2003) – Like the Matix meets Blade meets Romeo and Juliet meets Teen Wolf meets me walking out the door. #NoSirIAin’tLycan’ingIt
SHOW NOTES
- Is this that vampire movie? No the other one..yeah.
- Blue moon shit.
- “The war had all but ground to a halt in the blink of an eye. Lucian, the most feared and ruthless leader ever to rule the Lycan clan, had finally been killed. The Lycan horde scattered to the wind in a single evening of flame and retribution. “Victory, it seemed, was in our grasp, the very birthright of the vampires.
- 6 centuries…just a moment.
- Lycans no longer need the moon.
- Vampires are killing it at killing it.
- She is a death dealer and no obsolete…worked herself out of a job…pity really…it is what I live for.
- We’ll just make more…how can you lose a war where you can just make more?
- Beautifully shot…even if shot in blue…lots of blue…cool
- Bloods! They got them UV light bullets.
- Dual wield in the Termus.
- Did you see a Matrix style shootout in your Vamp vs Lych movie?
- Oh you got teeth…well I can morph my whole damn body.
- How did Charlie die? Blunt force Train Trama
- Meanwhile, under the city (world)
- More Matrix type movies please…thank you.
- I am in the pit of vipers.
- Just a little hairy naked wrestling.
- Acting like a pack of dogs…not if you expect to survive at war.
- Pierce! Taylor! Put some clothes on will you.
- Vampires be living up in the Victorian Age Castle having their fancy parties while the Lycans are down in the sewers fighting for scraps.
- The awakening is only a few days off.
- Not since the days of Lucian.
- Sound the alarms.
- Everybody lives under a man hole cover…the door to the streets. the window to the underworld.
- I don’t want to attend your fancy vampire social. I got a war to conduct! Viktor would not like it. But I guess he left you in charge.
- What would they want with a human? Besides food?
- Oh boy..if you have that much pit hair you better hope they don’t tie you up.
- Silver bullets. Penetrated the organs.
- Deep voice Rex.
- Houses across the ocean.
- Amelia is here to awake Marcus…a single coven…Royalty and incest.
- Why y’all be following a human? Huh… Why y’all get us humans involved in your supernatural fantasy blood feud?
- He is an intern at the hospital.
- Teeth Sucker…does that mean he is a vampire? or Lycan?
- 2003 Land Line calling…hello? Neo? Run!
- That gun got a lot of magic bullets in it. Enough to shoot 4 Lycans and perforate a floor.
- Must I do everything myself?
- Super Lycan.
- Rule…can’t transform with Silver in you.
- Then this dude bit me in the elevator.
- I run fast in my human form and I stab at thee..
- I’m not screwing around…Neither am I!
- Vampires can drown?
- Raze the deep throated Lycan didn’t bring back this.
- If Michael is a carrier…no worries..I bit him…give it 2 days until the full moon…when all the shit happens.
- Positive…to the positive…
- Flashbacks
- Your skull has taken a good knock.
- You brought a human back to my house. Victor would not like it.
- Wait a minute…you are infatuated with him.
- Horny for humans…the movie. Wait…I thought chics dug scars….well not lycan scars.
- Matrix Blade… Blade Matrix
- Go ahead…squeeze off a few.
- Liquid Silver Nitrate…straight into the blood stream…
- Lucian…how you killed Lucian…I don’t believe you.
- We need something to shoot down in the shooting range…how about these busts.
- Calm yourself Kraven…
- Is he Lucian? He has laid low for quiet long enough…yep…he Lucian.
- Remember…I have bled for you once already.
- Quick! To the library of picture books!
- Gross…the branded skin cut from Lucians arm.. He already bled for him once.
- What now Scooby Doo?
- What about the covenant…you know it is forbidden.
- A full grown man…bit you.
- Even the hospital is dark and underworldy.
- his friend sold him out…he can’t go home and he can’t stay here.
- She is a bit obsessed with Viktor. Sorry to disturb your eternal slumber…Viktor…I need your guidance.
- Could this sewer gate to dead vampire coffin go any slower?
- No one such as myself has ever done this…
- I’m just trying to get some eternal rest over here and you come up in here dripping your low level blood in my mouth…Breaking the chain…sorry for awaking you early.
- Man..she got this shit figured out already.
- Who me? Totally not waking daddy early…
- Oh..I’m gonna tell on you…DADDY WAKE UP!! What the hell sis…you woke up dad…you piece of poo.
- What’s this Rukus? Just wait till daddy has his morning coffee and BLOOOOD …
- A blood feud for over a 1000 years…deal with it.
- Most humans die within an hour…no one has ever survived 2 bites.
- She has shown me many disturbing things.
- This Coven has beome weak.
- Still her memories are chaotic…no sense of time. I’ve rested enough…now summon Marcus…what the hell…a full century ahead of schedule…
- You make clone blood?
- Man…so she skipped Marcus and went straight to Viktor…rude.
- Something was in the stable…killing the horses…couldn’t save my family…Twin Girls…Viktor …the oldest and strongest of us…strength to avenge my family.
- This coven is corrupt…
- Everybody got their UV bullets ready?
- Who started the war? They did…always they did.
- Digging into the past is forbidden.
- how about if I give you a kiss and some bondage….sucka! You stay here.
- It’s unavoidable.
- A single bullet….use it.
- Vampire Lady Drivers…am I right?
- She is kind of rebellious
- Viktor don’t know nothing about video surveillance
- Performed by an elder….
- 1 awake…2 asleep… That is the way…it is Marcus’ turn to rule.
- I love you like a daughter.
- You will not be shown an ounce of leniency.
- You have broken the chain and the covenant…you must be judged…Noooo
- She is the future queen…maybe..
- I took my one shot…I sure hope I don’t turn into a werewolf…duh.
- Who me? Just recovering from my nap with a little blood IV.
- Why are you helping me. I’m not…I’m helping me. I’m the queen now!!
- Do you want to take the wolf pill or the vampire pill?
- Why did it have to be stairs.
- haha…I love her magic pistols…
- Oh….hello..new powers…who dis?
- Mercedes Police
- Da da MOOON!
- Oh shit he is not going to make it…pull over…get the kit
- Your incompetence is becoming taxing.
- Why would you send the doctor on a mission.
- Corvinus! The warlord…the lone survivor …became the first true immortal..
- The Lycans don’t mind talking about their history. Bit by a bat and a wolf…and could live is a human.
- Corvinus strain. It is a union of our species.
- I’m out…
- Abomination. Half-Vampire … Half Lycan…stronger than both.
- Singe took a punch to the face…it hurt.
- Now you must go kill Michael…
- Sonjaaaaaaa
- Vampires are dumb? They baked her in the sunlight and left open the moon roof.
- Sun kills vampires…Moon makes Lycans.
- The Daylight Guardians of the vampires.
- Even took a vampire as my bride.
- Viktor is a racist…killed his own daughter.
- What a turd hole Shot him in the back.
- Where is Raze…
- You haven’t even seen my final form….it is super ugly
- Monster designs are …hmm… not sure.
- Did they not give her the silver nitrate?
- Welcome to our sewer…we have a lot of hanging chains.
- He has an infrared scope on that gun…why he not using it.
- I got a gun for every occasion.
- I went all blue eyed crazy.
- I thought she looked like the Sonja
- oh my gawd…from the ground…I strike at thee…with my calf knife…
- Bit him! do it!…bite him…
- You may have killed me cousin!! but my will is done..
- Vampire is fast acting. Wolf is long taking.
- Don’t mind me…I’m just convulsing into some abomination in the bowels of this Lycan Hole.
- He killed the Daughter and the Unborn child! You bastard
- He is in all the places at the same time.
- Behind you…nope…behind you again…nope…behind you.
- Stronger than both…maybe not.
- What did she chop…wait for it…his head…time to slide. Got to slide on out fellas.
- Though I can not predict the future.
- Two elders are dead…soon…Marcus will take the throne.
- Will there be a sequel…uh..yeah…I guess there will be.
