The Conjuring (2013) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on filmsack we get up to THE CONJURING of some real scary shit, I’m talking “something’s behind the door, no really, listen to me…someone is behind the door that smells like rotted butt meat and anger and is telling me it wants to kill us all” kind of scary shit… You don’t hear that? Well just head on over to the very Haunted HBO Max: Max and dial up the monitoring mics until all you hear is the pooping of the pants while hiding from this 2013 Horror/Thriller about what happens when you make a move to the country with your 4 kids and a spouse and F around and find out about property owning witches who confess their love to Satan while hanging from a tree because you just know they about to curse the land their dirty shoeless feet aren’t even touching and cause a whole thing that is going to require a phone call to some demonologist and a pope. True story. Sorta.

Anywho, I thought we could play a quick game of hide and clap. The rules are simple. I put on a blindfold. Spin around a few times while you go hide. And then when I say ‘clap!’ … you clap from your hidey hole and I stumble about feeling around in the air until either I fall down the steps and die or I touch Satan’s face and he pukes in my mouth and we all die. Aww come on guys…where are you going…it’ll be fun I promise. Hey, has anyone seen the dog?

Randy, will you stop moving my creepy haunted doll around…that’s for the prequel. Randy? Has anyone seen the Randy?

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BRIEF

In 1970, paranormal investigators and demonologists Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed (Patrick Wilson) Warren are summoned to the home of Carolyn (Lili Taylor) and Roger (Ron Livingston) Perron. The Perrons and their five daughters have recently moved into a secluded farmhouse, where a supernatural presence has made itself known. Though the manifestations are relatively benign at first, events soon escalate in horrifying fashion, especially after the Warrens discover the house’s macabre history.

Rated: R

2013 ‧ Horror/Thriller ‧ 1h 52m

LINKS

IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1457767/

WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Conjuring

Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_conjuring

TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheConjuring

WHERE TO WATCH

HBO Max – https://play.max.com/movie/d1b146e9-7426-4463-804d-3ca656e38492

MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/conjuring-the

TRAILER/CLIPS

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The Conjuring (2013) – Like a game of Hide and Clap, You hide and I go make some 70s era Hamburger Helper and Kool-Aid while you get bored and go do something else. Based on a true story.

SHOW NOTES

What are we conjuring exactly? Is it horror?
Spooky Warner Brothers! Man…I love this horn music in the intro.
Weird…it started in Spanish… I had to switch to English
It Scares us just thinking about it… Try us.
Is that an Annabelle doll?
It was moving around by itself… Year 1968… hmmm… I didn’t recall they were in the same universe.
We gave her permission to move into the doll…we said yes…then things got worse.
Son of an Anabelle…miss me? Nooo…you drew all over the damn walls…you are so out.
Who at my door? It better not be that creepy ass doll I threw away…Miss me? Wanna Kiss Me? Is there anything scarier than someone pounding on the door?
Can you help us…yes we can.
Ghost don’t possess the power…
What is an inhuman spirit.
They don’t possess things…they possess people.
What are you guys…what do people call you… Demonologist…
Based on the true story…NOT
That J is hooking in the Conjuring title.
John Jacob Jinglheimmer.
1971, Rhode Island
If the dog says no…I says no
I love a good follow cam establishing shot of a house.
Oh man…and the long slow pan in…so freaking 70s…they really filmed this part like a 70s horror film…
You hide…I put on a blindfold and then you guys clap and I find you…or death…one of the 2. GOTCHA!
Do not enter the cellar that was boarded up..that is just common sense…also, how do you cover up evil? With a couple of 2x4s…yeah I don’t think so.
Exploring by match light…seems smart. Did we not have flashlights in the early 70s
Sadie the dog says…get out fuckers you gonna die!!
This cellar makes me want to sneeze and put on a respirator mask.
3:07…always 3:07
Fell free to look around…but don’t touch anything…yep..everything in here is either haunted or use as haunted or ritual. We got a priest who comes once a month..sure…that sounds like a good idea.
Warning Positively do not open.
What about your wife…you mean the exorcism?
Did you touch anything Judy? yeah ya did…Annabelle is in you.
Saidie is Deadie
Something smelled dead in my room last night…does it still smell..it is gone.
They are haunted by farts. A demonic fart that is a real foot grabber.
Cindy is sleepwalking again…in my room.
Who are you talking to Rory..cool…
This magic box is not scary at all…just crank the box as the clown slowly emerges and wait for the music to end and a demon named Rory to appear.
Let’s play Hide and Clap…how about hide and slap. You get to ask for 3 claps…this game requires a lot of counting and possibly death by falling.
Now you know why April never gets to play hide and clap.
ahh hell nah…if something jerked my feet in the bed like that I’d be screaming for the whole house to come on lets go.
Do you see it…someone standing behind the door…do not bother waking me up for death.
Its standing right behind you.
Time to take a break…write that book.
She’s a bruiser…iron deficient…or…POSSESSED!
Oh great…you taught the spirit how to play hide and clap.
can confirm…pictures falling off the wall is one of the worst ways to wake up in the middle of the night.
I’m going to lock you in…not…I am taking a door to the face and going down the steps.
Mom is taking the worst of it.
Not a fan of exploring with matches
Like a moth to a supernatural flame. This cabinet is haunted!!
Geez…I go on one long haul trip and you guys lose your shit. House of ladies.
Fear is defined as
I’m not authorized for exorcisms.
3 stages of Infestation, Oppression and Possession… the 3rd and final stage!
‘Fear is defined as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or eminence of danger.’ – Ed Warren (The Conjuring)
Possession is generally the most unlikely explanation.
We sleep downstairs now.
Smell like rotting meat…moves around the house..
Rancid smells…comes in 3s…stops at dawn…like an insult…to the trinity. You say you got suicidal birds… We stopped hanging up the photos
Show me the cellar…
Why don’t you just move out..problem solved.
Rory is always sad…but he won’t tell me about it.
Do you mind if I try to see Rory in your magic clown box of spiraling madness? Nope…all I see is meeeeeeee what the fuck is that Rory!
I see hanging feet….you don’t hear that…the smelly hanging feet….and I’m out…
I have been seeing the entity in your house and your land.
Getting haunted is like stepping on gum…you take it with you…and then you pick it off and chew it.
Can we get an exorcism? Let’s check with the church….
Go to church.
We bought the house at auction at the bank
Proclaimed her love to Satan and cursed the land.
Officer Brad…Time for some ghost hunting.
What’s wrong with the Chevy…
We had a hanging…and a drowning…and a sacrifice…
She is an empath…insight…
Let’s set up all the equipment and watch for ghosts!
Oh you crazy kids…Groovy
What…I had to go…tinkle tinkle
Blast those room mics.
They are really into pissing off the spirits…but I don’t believe in vampires.
Brad…get the camera
We brought Officer Brad along in case we needed to bust any ghosts.
Hon you alright…come on…close the door or move something…alright…we are going back upstairs then…ehhh…how about now? nothing but us ghosts down here…and drafts.
It’s 3:08…we survived the night Scooby Doo.
Nice fresh country air…with satan’s little surprises.
That sheet got ghosted!
You said I could take a nap and you would take care of everything…like the laundry and not letting me get possessed!!
I’ll sell you this one….the haunted one.
A couple of months ago…while working on a case…they took a big piece..didn’t talk…didn’t eat…for 8 days.
They have a hippie and a square on this job.
Good thing he is fixing the Chevy…cause they gonna totally use that to escape.
“Look what she made me do”…is Taylor Swift haunting the porch?
Ed…Ed…we are getting ghosts everywhere.
Shh…let it happen…let Cindy Lou Boo sleepwalk in there on her own to hide with the deads…
Ed…where did she go? Get the UV light.. What… A UV Light.
oh gross…what have you guys been doing in this room?
This house is full of hiddy spots.
That is where Rory hides when he is afraid…well let’s all climb into there and hide.
Give me Aprils Music Box.
uh…never pull on the rope…are you dumb…
Lorraine took the express elevator to the basement. Lorraine lives in the walls now.
She made me do it…then she killed herself….boo
The witch is creaky sounding. Wait…don’t go…let’s hang around for a bit.
She possessed the mother to kill the child.
Uh Nancy…your hair…haunted hair chops.
We gonna live on the streets..you mean the non-haunted streets…yes…that is where we live now.
Always with the lockets.
The church is very skeptical for a church.
The kids aren’t baptized… we are going to need the pope to get involved.
oh for sure…that Witch is after your kid… where the F is Nana
Oh chit…she done recruited Annabelle.
Tried to kill my baby with a rocking chair.
Rocking in the chair with Annabelle…Annabelle be like…what? I ain’t done nothing. I’m just chilling out in my case.
Mom smells like rotting meat…
That bitch is attacking on 2 fronts.
You evil bitches better stop latching onto me.
Fuck yeah…after watching everybody struggle with opening doors this whole movie it was nice to see Officer Brad blow the front door away. These doors are evil!
Lili Taylor is scary when she is possessed.
We need Father Gordon…
I have to do the Exorcism…Dammit Lorraine.
God brought us together for a reason…I’m going to go get the book…. The good book?
You subdue evil spirits like you do upset birds…cover the head.
April is hiding…if they don’t play the clap game now…then I don’t know why we even bothered setting it up.
Let’s throw birds into our horror exorcism with story.
Let’s head to the basement and read some Latin from the good book and get this shit over with.
Omini Phasma
Put her down…ok!
Let her go…She’s already gone.
He called the witches name.
Come on back Carolyn….use your happy place…witches hate happy places.
Better Demon out than in I always say.
I be puking up withes bitches and running back to you.
Did a draft do that to your face.
Don’t leave your loaded guns in the basement with the evilness.
Thank you lady…I found your locket…and possessed it with Evil for part 2.
Yeah…ok…so you say you banished the evil…so we just gonna live here now and act like none of this shit happened.
Uh oh…a post scene after the happy ending…this ain’t going to be good.
You for real take Rory’s Music box.
The Vatican approved the exorcism.
“Diabolical forces are formidable. These forces are eternal, and they exist today.”