The Cabin In The Woods – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on filmsack we dye our hair with college horny blonde and pack some clean underwear before we punch in THE Hensworth’s cousin’s CABIN coordinates into our “Dad’s got a Winnebago” GPS and get high for dying IN THE WOODS with this corporate mentality inspired Horror/Comedy from 2011 now screaming on HBO Max: Max. Hey, I always feel like…like somebody’s watching me. Or maybe its just the drugs you slipped me. Also, Don’t do drugs. Just, Go ask Alice.

Anywho, ever since I was first supernatural conjured into existence as a result of humanity’s sins and then decades later placed into this corporate hell of a cubicle that is literally a cube suspended by dark magic and left waiting to be elevatored to the surface when I am summoned by the youth of today’s society to act as a death dealing cog in the wheel of the well oiled machine of work life balance of sacrifice and order, I have been asking myself just one question… Where’s the shitter? I mean should I poop in the corner? Not while that low budget horror movie kid with teeth for a face is watching. I need a little more privacy than that for my shy colon!

Randy, pipe in some of that “let’s split up” smoke and lets get busy dying and let us get it over with

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BRIEF

When five college friends (Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams) arrive at a remote forest cabin for a little vacation, little do they expect the horrors that await them. One by one, the youths fall victim to backwoods zombies, but there is another factor at play. Two scientists (Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford) are manipulating the ghoulish goings-on, but even as the body count rises, there is yet more at work than meets the eye.

Rated: R

2011 ‧ Horror/Comedy ‧ 1h 35m

LINKS

IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259521/

WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cabin_in_the_Woods

Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_cabin_in_the_woods

TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheCabinInTheWoods

WHERE TO WATCH

HBO Max – https://play.max.com/movie/ee0bb23a-a48e-45b7-8a32-2bd8ae680aeb

MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/the-cabin-in-the-woods

TRAILER/CLIPS

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Social Media Post

The Cabin in the Woods (2011) – Like making out with a Moose-Wolf’s Head mounted on the wall of the cabin on a dare while high on piped in horny mist. Careful, you might end up with a Husbands Bulge #DontUseDrugs

SHOW NOTES

wait wait… THE Cabin in the woods?
Lionsgate…what they been up to lately?
Bloody imagery from days past recorded for historical purposes…sacrifice!!! We must sacrifice…or Enjoy a fresh cup of coffee.
Screw in these little jobies..
Having trouble having a kid at the office.
Stockholm went south…what cracked.
Everyone know you can’t trust the Swedes
Japan and America…is all we have.
It is a key scenario…
in 98…it was the chem departments fault.
Scary…The titled literally scared me.
From stuffy no-sex office to sexy rock and roll college just starting life.
Prof. Fuckwad…
Living life vs Life
We have a lake and a cake…no more learning.
…and you have no pants.
Best hands on the field
People in this town drive in a very counter-intuitive manner.
A giant bong that turns into a cup.
Fade to echo.
Get off the grid…no cell phone reception.
Globably position me
The pot head, the jock and the hot.
He will also answer to honey toes.
Being prepped is not the same as being prepared.
My cousin’s cabin?
I’ve been here since the war…you damn well know what war.
They eagle flew into the dome like a bug in a zapper.
I’m sleeping in the Rambler
I really thought this movie has a saucy black girl who didn’t appreciate the harassment from the druggy/nerd guy.
Oh…a two way mirror…I wonder if I should tell her…..maybe after I watch for a minute….hold up.
thanks for being decent.
Wow he forgot pretty quickly about the 2 way mirror… hang the sacrificial painting in front of the lust mirror.
So far this group of teens have been less sexual deviants than most horror.
They are drugging the kids though hair dye.
The Harbinger of dooom. Mordecai.
The lambs have passed through the gate…their blind eye sees nothing… Cleanse the world…
The ancient ones see everything…I am still on speakerphone.
They pick the same thing every year.
Does the directors are downstairs.
We just get them to the cellar…they have to make their own choices once they are there.
Lead them to transgression so they can be punished.
I dare you to make out with the moose
gross…licking that wolf…fake or not…gross…she’ll let him come in.
I dare you to go into the cellar where the door just burst open.
They keep moving forward…even when they know they shouldn’t.
You voided the dare…take your top off…I don’t make up the rules.
A basement full of horror tropes…pick your monster.
Cut her belly and stuffed the coals in. Read my diary! A husband’s bulge. My good arm is hacked up and ‘et. Then there is something in Latin…don’t read the latin out loud!! It brings the family of the dead back to life. The Buckners…. Maintenance…and Ronald the intern. Zombie Torture Redneck Family.
Remnant of the old world…courtesy of “you know who”
I am never going to see a Merman.
She is everybody’s lady…Jules is on the sex juice hair dye horny seep
Tommy Chong has a theory.
Why is Curt acting weird…how did they drug him?
The druggy knows drugs and behavior. His 3rd eye is open.
Pain outlives the flesh…the latin..
Wait…I thought Jules and Curt were lying down…They are “In the Woods” horny
Everybody watch. I’m chilly…noooo…
Engage the pheromone mists.
We are puppets on a string.
Ok baby…let’s see her boobies. Score.
You understand what is at stake here…we aren’t the only ones watching.
Where are the cameras?
Stab the hand!
unwedded sex!
This we offer in humility and fear. For the blessed peace of your eternal slumber. As it ever was.
Now pour the blood
Nemo man…you got to wake up
Whispering woman is no good.
I’m gonna go for a walk.
You think I’m a puppet huh…going to do a little puppet dance…I am the boss of my own brain…I’m going to go for a walk.
He’s got a husband bulge
I thought there would be stars…we are abandoned….great line.
I’m not leaving without Jules…here is her head…ok…we are leaving without jules.
Patience’s Diary.
No matter what happens…we have to stay together.
More drugging….the split up mist…
we should split up…we can cover more ground that way.
The paranoid found
Judith Buckner to the rescue.
Cup to bong … fiiiight. You kind of are pulling for the druggy.
So this was the Buckner’s Cabin? The killing room.
Bear Trap on a chain and straight to the back.
You like pain? How does that work for you.
Remember when you could just throw a girl in a volcano…so this has been going on forever.
Meanwhile in Japan. The schoolgirls are taking care of bidness…from ghost spirit to cute frog. Yaaay
We treated the shit out of those drugs…
If the ancients rise.
Don’t hold back…crash…invisible wall.
Puppeteers…Marty was right.
How are they collecting the blood?
The virgin is last and that she suffers and … is optional.
Tequila is my lady.
I just think it would be cooler with a merman.
Office talk
A power reroute from upstairs.
The red phone…uh oh…turn the fucking music off.
If one of them survived then how did they earn the blood? Or is that all symbolic?
Marty lives!
She secretly loves Marty…just a little bit. Her face when Marty died.
Go into the grave…it is the entrance.
I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What you been up to.
Meanwhile in the elevator looking glass horror show.
We chose…
2012 CGI Monster Pull back.
The fool…you have to take out everybody before the virgin…she has to suffer. Do the monsters understand that?
Good work Zombie Arm
Wait..is that Sigourney Weaver?
What lies below. It was supposed to be faster.
Purge! Big ole Purge Nightmare.
Robot Blade monster was the best.
The horror…the horror…Code black.
The final horror is probably the scariest…
They killed the only good guy on staff.
He got to see the merman…and got to die by the merman.. Bloody Blowhole
You must choose…now you really have to choose. Is it better to be a puppet?
You have to have 5 of this type… they want to see us punished… for being young
The Whore, The Athlete, The Scholar, The Fool and finally…the virgin … maybe live…maybe die. We work with what we have.
The other rituals have all failed.
We’re not talking about change… he was already anti establishment…
Let fate decide. Patience was once like you.
You know…I don’t think Curt even has a cousin.
I’m going away.
Giant Evil Gods…I wish I could have seen them… I know…that would have been a fun weekend.
The Giant Hand Smashing the Cabin in the Woods!