This week on Filmsack we turn on closed caption and head back to the by-gone age of witch burning and killing off of characters we love too soon. Noooo not the Bastard son of Sean Bean! Come back Kit Harrington we need you! I can feel the dark. ohhh…What a world, what a world.
Anywho, Wrong questions get wrong answers. Hey, can you make a bland movie with great actors? 1 hour 45 minutes later…yes. yes you can. Hey, what happens when your witchy mom who mated with a muggle at least 7 times dies before she can say goodbye? An Obi “Mam” Kenobi force ghost visit replete with great advice like…”believe in yourself. ya pig farmer” Gee, thanks Mam. Hey, You fight me as a cgi dragon and not as a man….have you no honor? Should have stayed a cgi dragon.
Randy, Ogre scrotum, for your own enjoyment. Your answer…it fills me with confidence.
PG-13 | 2014 | Fantasy/Adventure | 1h 42m
Centuries ago, a supernatural champion named Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) defeated Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), a malevolent witch. Now, she has escaped imprisonment and thirsts for vengeance. She summons her followers and prepares to unleash her wrath on humanity. Only one thing stands in her way: Master Gregory. Gregory takes Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) as his new apprentice, but he has only until the next full moon to teach Tom what usually takes years: how to prevail against dark magic.
Rotten Tomatoes https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/seventh_son
Seventh Son (2014) – You fight me as a cgi dragon and not as a man….have you no honor? Should have stayed a cgi dragon. repurposed just like this movie #OgreScrotum
WHERE TO WATCH
Still Streaming As of June 17, 2022 – Records On : June 18th, 2022
Subs (Filmsack preferred)
Netflix / https://www.netflix.com/watch/70275284
MORE Options – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/seventh-son
No Time? Watch Highlight CLIPS instead
- Wait…this ain’t Warcraft!
- That thing?
- Getting a real LOTR vibe from this music.
- Meanwhile of the top of some cliff side.
- Gregory! Come back…did I mention Gregory..don’t you leave in in some hole on a mountainside.
- Time passes…like…a lot of time. Until the blood moon.
- My power returns with the rise of the blood moon. Hell Awakens…oh…BTW…I’m a dragon…Gregory!
- it is Jon Snow!
- There is a ringing in my ear. You may note that I am not presently dealing with shit…except this stool.
- My only oath is to this stool.
- The trick is not to spill.
- Mr. Bradley…why did you not tell me the bells were ringing.
- This 10 year old is having a Wal-Mart meltdown.
- This Dragon Witch can see into my soul. Come here boy…close your eyes William!
- “Well done William.”
- Let the silver do its work. It is like fishing for sky demons.
- I can feel the dark.
- 10 damn years…wasted.
- I’m coming for you Malkin.
- Like father Sean Bean like Bastard Son Jon…dead in the first act.
- Hide your kids hide your wife…hide your medallions.
- I understand there is a seventh son of a seventh son that lives here. Do not say there is not, for I know that there is.
- Soo…which one is the 7th?
- Thomas Ward is a ward.
- Damn…dem 7th sons are ‘spensive.
- He is a spook. Your last apprentice…and the one before?
- He is a bit scrawny for a seventh son.
- The logistics of the 7th son of a 7th son.
- Your pendant…I can’t mommy…wear it always dummy.
- Row me boy. Faster..
- My spy follows
- Who these? just some house specters. Smoking up the place.
- Time for the queen to wave her hand and make everything new again.
- meanwhile down at the town pool…
- It is near impossible to fight demons in wet feet.
- pick up grease, salt, flower and bacon.
- Starting to wish I was the sixth son.
- Burn the witch!
- What is your name. I’ll tell you next time. I read fortunes.
- Close your eyes…she gone.
- Wow…she was a witch. Oops.
- She has a human father…there is hope?
- Help yourself to the blood cakes…nom nom nom.
- Pendle Mountain Calling…oh ohh.
- The smokers are in the forest.
- wrong questions get wrong answers.
- Level Six Creature…he is just a ghast…nasty ghast. Ghost with an A.
- Your answer…it fills me with confidence.
- Witches are the most dangerous.
- Mother Malkin the Witch Queen.
- You live in a world where
- Sooo… Mr. ward has a witch mommy and she has a human daddy.
- This is Tusk. Loyal as he is ugly.
- It says there are thousands of you…they dead…cept me.
- There are witches that need killing… Fucking witches… yep…we are wasting our PG13 on that one.
- Stay in your chambers.
- The night in the hall that contains a skeleton and is ON FIRE AND CHASING ME!
- 7 times stronger than a normal man.
- Teach me!
- As the blood moon approaches she will become more powerful.
- Salt makes ’em weak.
- Salt burns, iron burns away the strength of any creature of the dark. Tincture of copper, for flesh wounds. Silverbane, repels witches. Ogre scrotum, for your own enjoyment.
- The names are fairly self evident.
- Throw it already.
- …When the bloodmoon is full…yada yada.
- Did you look at me? Never…never look at me.
- She’s my sister? by like blood or like sister witch hood?
- swimming in the moonlight…
- Touch by moonlight…a spark. My father was a gypsy..and my mother a witch.
- Have you been writing in your journal.
- ghost vs ghast…fragment of a spirit.
- Tusk pissed on my boots.
- Summoned by the bell.
- What is a Boggart?
- Flattery is fine…gold is finer.
- mace me with Silverbane
- do it. I’m not like you…but you will be!
- yeah…that’s right…go sulk boy.
- the inquisitor is calling
- If you see a witch…kill it.
- Beyond the forest.
- Tusk, dependable as death you are.
- His horses always run.
- How do you fight a Boggart…you don’t…you run.
- no worries…Boggarts hate water…uh oh.
- The stone…how did you get the blood stone? uh oh.
- The Umbran Stone… a witch’s son who is a spook’s apprentice …that is funny.
- It was the 4 armed man!
- Dad and Mam are in town. Mam the goody good witch.
- A witch defends this city…
- which witch? that witch.
- Mam is dead.
- Tree Assassins…they are falling like…tree assassins?
- nooo…poor tusk…always getting hit.
- Obi Mam Kenobi force ghost
- only you can wield the umbran stone.
- You are ready…you did a whole feed the pigs thing and then the week long mini camp on being a spook…you are ready.
- don’t look at her.
- The darkness is in your now…join us… SNATCH!
- Transmorphers dragon.
- Only a mother’s love can save the children
- This movie has a lot of things falling from the sky to attack you.
- You fight me as a dragon and not as a man… have you no honor… honor shaming is the best.
- Should have stayed a dragon.
- He finally did it…he killed and burnt the witch.
- you reward? a really bad burn tattoo.
- Casablanca ending! Whispers on the wind. I wonder how the book ends?
- These end credits remind me of some Disney+ Mandalorian