Firewalker (1986) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we FIRE(WALKER) Texas Ranger our way on over to Amazon Prime looking to carry as many bags of Action Adventure Comedy Gold as we can plunder treasure from… in this 1986 Buddy Trio starring that round housing kicking martial arts mustache good guy and the no enemy of mine junior guy that I miss already and hey is that Flash Gordon’s “I ain’t your booby slave” lady doing her best to not be problematic in 2024. I watched this on VHS just in case. Scanlines helps the history go down!

Anywho, when I am not squatted next to a fire enchanting a python to conjure a ruffie dealing lady to murder my enemies and steal back my red dagger treasure key “slash” ritual sacrifice stabbing device… well when I am not doing that…  I like sitting around thinking about how I am going to be walking on the sun soon. yep… Walking on the sun… that’s my whole thing… that and forgetting which eye my patch goes over.

Randy, You are the prettiest nut I have ever seen… oh did I just make this weird?

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BRIEF

Firewalker (1986) follows two treasure hunters, Max Donigan (Chuck Norris) and Leo Porter (Louis Gossett Jr.), who are roped into a quest to find a hidden treasure in the Mexican desert. Along the way, they encounter mystical forces, ruthless mercenaries, and ancient legends. With the help of Patricia Goodwin (Melody Anderson), they follow a mysterious map leading to untold riches, but soon find themselves in over their heads as the danger mounts and their enemies close in. It’s a mix of action, adventure, and comedy, all wrapped in classic 80s charm.

TRAILER/CLIPS

 

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Firewalker (1986) – FRUITCAKE? FRUITCAKE? Listen Bucko, I happen to be a highly educated, intelligent movie. No you are stupiday. #I don’t know any Latin.

SHOW NOTES

• Firewalker Texas Ranger
• Video Treasures presents
• Meanwhile in the dessert… Dunes of Arknas
• Cause I want to find out where we are… you are driving… 
• Take a left… it is the desert… what difference does it make.
• Mad Max of the desert. These Desert folk are some real party animals.
• Meanwhile on Safari.
• 200 stinking miles of stinking desert and you have to drive us into the stinking water… Oasis of doom.. busted.
• I say they are bandits… they would have killed us by now.
• What is this desert of diversity.
• So gentlemen… we meet again.
• Holding the liquid of life… but you will still be bald.
• Something I want to tell you… I blame you for this.
• They are crawling all over me!
• The general is going to be mad about his desert staked 
• only 3.. that is not such a good average.
• He used to be a teacher.
• My sources indicate that this place is frequented by men of questionable character.
• Leo used a be a teacher.
• The bartender says “I am ok.”
• You had me at Money
• An Indian Reservation with gold!
• The man who wants is it a red cyclops with long black hair… he is no man.
• I think shark.. know what it was… a porpoise… but there are no bears in the Himalayans. Max is a talker… 
• This is a sacred place… you should not stay here.
• a native American with a monocular… total red cyclops
• Mel-o-dy Anderson.
• There are some dead people in there sleeping…
• You fools you built your movie on an ancient Indian burial ground.
• I need a leash for this woman.
• She is a freaky deeky.
• Good thing we brought the teacher with us… 
• This skull has red eyes!
• Max is the ever hopeful hoper.
• Sure this is a nice dagger and all… but we need more gold.
• ha ha… a moment frozen in time… callback!
• Max is a terrible shot.
• Are these native American’s or Aztecs.
• Chuck Norris putting the Chuck in knife chucking.
• The ricochet bullet … last bullet.
• Man this is a call back to older adventure serials… like TV stuff.
• Chuck finally got to pull some karate out…
• Drop the knife…
• Geez… I didn’t tell him to jump…
• Native American’s love Lucy… well.. they love Ricky… they would chop off her nose.
• When White men bring gifts… they want something in return.
• The white eyes gave us this land as long as the grass grows and the water flows.
• The great spirit wants some action…
• 20% … 2% ….
• An Aztec priest in the 16th century.
• This was Native American in the cabin’s last movie.
• Oh… the Firewalker… the Spaniards.. he flew to the sun… there to walk on the sun… it is all I know.
• Beware of the coyote…
• haha… I don’t know how Tonto did it.
• Gold, Human Sacrifice, The Dagger and the Sun.
• You believe in witches Leo?
• I never turn down a good potion…. maybe you should. She just roofied Chuck Norris.
• I always knew it would be a woman that did Chuck Norris in.
• Ignite Coyote… she is the Coyote!
• Why do you chase gold Leo… cause Max.. Max loves the looking… cause it is so dangerous.
• This movie has a tender heart.
• Where she go… ohhh… she a giant python… so he turned her into a poison girl.
• Is that the pilot? With a Parachute? No worries… just tiny fire in the engine… we are landing anyway.
• Chuck can sleep through anything.
• gentle humor. likeable characters… a bit questionable on the portrayal of different races.
• Don’t you call me no Sissy… and that fruitcake girl.
• Fruit Cake… let me tell you something Bucko… thin walls? nope… big mouth…
• You are the prettiest nut I have ever seen.
• She has visions.
• She is there because of the visions.
• 2nd best mustache in Hollywood? 
• 20 dollars American… for information… 50 dollars… 100 dollars… American. SOLD!
• Into the interior? Not bloody likely.
• Your mother was a pig and your father was a dog? did he say anything about my sister.
• I’ll handle this… ooooh nooo.
• Little gringo choked the big guy out.
• Hold my gum…
• Bar fight? Let me show you my feet. 
• Brain Damage is funny.
• Who else wants some Chuck Fists of Fury.
• Want your gum back?
• Dude is reading Psi Force. Hilarious.. that book was running at about this time…
• You want your payoff now?
• We shall travel as the clergy! To the interior we go… via train
• Remember those candy bar cameras… member.
• I thought Nuns were supposed to virgins…
• I am in charge of Charm.
• I may have an oral fixation. Cigars or gum… gimmie.
• Sounds like routine questioning… I don’t like the routine.
• Rapido…
• Wise and Holy… I will play dumb… you look virginal.
• This movie took a turn… you oopid-stay… she found the papers… oh good… he is going to be ok… it’s a miracle.
• The previous watcher of this VHS turned it off after the blessing on the train scene. That was a bridge too far for them.
• Here come my imagination…. run for the banana field!!
• I’m a legal secretary from Los Angeles… See no Nun.
• Ok Manuel… run away.
• gimmie that gun!
• Leo would buy a sailboat and sail around the world. Doing it in style.
• … and women…
• He is a mystic man!   With mystic abilities.
• That dagger is always getting into trouble.
• Woman! Sure… men… no thanks..
• Indecision.. that is a good sign. We need a new plan.
• Prepare to die…  Quirky? See what we are going to do to your head… just kidding.
• I always said you were too pretty for jungle work.
• I cut off his ears… got them in a pickle jar.
• They got one rule down here… you can have what you can take.
• What will you take for her? She’s not for sale.
• Just some good fun at the expense of the locals… now stand still while me and my white friend throws knives at your head.
• You got the charm… can’t nothing kill you because of the charm.
• Corky? This is just temporary until I am king. A man has to have a goal in life. 
• Dying aint’ something I worry about… you know why? Cause I just killed this bottle… and I got the charm too.
• aaaand woooooomen.
• Quark?
• Camo Bug and a few chickens.
• You think you will ever see him again. No…
• it is all about the friends we made along the way
• What scares you Max? Domestication.
• Leo is a croc-o-snack
• Damn you Leo.. I can’t make it alone! Now it is just the 2 of us… just the 2 of us… we can’t make it alone.
• This looks like a good place to cross… it is my job to know… and I need to be fired.
• Of course I can swim… doggie paddle style!!
• Nothing like a swim… nothing like a walk after a swim…
• We found the temple… but we lost the greatest treasure of all Leo
• What about an opened door? That would be a refreshing change.
• Quick on the draw… pew pew pew… 
• Max is not very good with guns.
• She lucks into everything.
• That little moment of jumping celebration was hilarious.
• Welcome Brave One… we have been expecting you.
• You have something of mine… and I have something of yours.
• haha… he switched the patch on his eye… what the hell.
• Going to dip Leo…
• I’ll give you the dagger and we go free… in fact the girl can go now… beat it.
• You fool… she is the sacrifice… I am going to be the firewalker.
• You held the power of my ancestors in your hands. 
• Ha Ha Ha Ha.
• You got a plan Max?
• Swing harder Leo…  we were in some really hot water.
• I will have the power of my ancestors… I will be able to travel to the sun… and walk on it.. then what? Is that the whole plan? that is a bad plan.
• He put a spell on her… 
• Randomly closing doors…
• I have waited long. I will wait no longer…. but I will slowly stab you… so I guess I will wait..
• All this time of not using guns to solve problems and we solve the biggest problem.
• Hey, that’s gratitude for you.
• Piece of cake.
• Stone pillow!.. she did it again…
• Gooold! Let’s scrooge McDuck this shit.
• Ahh yes… the old… how in the hell are we going to carry this gold out of here?
• What’s that all about? Why she crying…. cause she wasn’t crazy.
• He ain’t dead?  
• Let’s see how tough you are… this tough.
• She stabbed him in the back with his own dagger… he ain’t looking too good.
• slow mo karate kick… not so damn tough.
• Good night Coyote… 
• Looks like even the bad guy got what he wanted.. he is firewalking now! poof
• She upgraded her camera.
• All that dangerous stuff behind us right…
• Life is going to be one big piece of cake.
• so gentlemen we meet again… ha ha ha ha ha ha.

• Chuck Norris as Max Donigan: The ultimate adventurer with a penchant for punching his way through problems.
• Louis Gossett Jr. as Leo Porter: The smooth-talking, witty sidekick.
• The Adventure Formula: Treasure map, mysterious artifact, dangerous enemies.
• Action-Comedy Vibes: How the movie balances laughs with action sequences.
• Supernatural Elements: Mystical shamans, ancient curses, and the legend of the Firewalker.
• 80s Nostalgia: From the music to the stunts, classic 80s adventure film vibes.
• Chuck Norris One-Liners: Because it’s a Chuck Norris film, after all.
• The Supporting Cast: Melody Anderson as Patricia, the adventurer who brings the duo into the treasure hunt.
• Indiana Jones Influence: How Firewalker capitalized on the treasure-hunting craze of the 80s.
• The Buddy Dynamic: Norris and Gossett Jr.’s chemistry and how it carries the film.
• Action Sequences: Knife fights, desert chases, temple showdowns.
• Treasure Hunt Tropes: Maps, traps, and hidden gold.
• Humor Amid the Danger: How the film never takes itself too seriously.
• The Movie’s Legacy: Why Firewalker remains a cult favorite for fans of 80s action-comedies.
• The Director’s Vision: J. Lee Thompson’s touch on action and adventure storytelling.
• Behind the Scenes Trivia: Fun facts about the making of the movie.

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