Elektra (2005) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on FilmSack we are ELEKTRA-fied by this 2005 Marvel of an Action/Fantasy film now streaming on HBO Max Max and starring the better half of the Bennifer. What! How DARE you suggest there is a better half of the Bennifer..you DEVIL you. But come on.. who would you rather see in some skin tight faux red leather…even the blind man can see… she is the chosen one…what’s that…she’s not the chosen one? Bennifer is no more? nooo… well maybe she can sleep it off?

Anywho, Earlier this week I challenged the Bed Sheet Ninja Boogieman to a Ninja Off at my abandoned childhood home covered in bed sheets to end a decades old rivalry to avenge my mom who died at his hands in her sleep. And you know what? I feel pretty good about my chances, since I have spent a good portion of my adult life preparing for this moment learning Ninja Stuff like stabbing sneaky roof ninjas through the porch ceiling, fighting old blind men in pool halls when they disrespect me and babysitting bratty chosen one doppelgangers who steal my shit. But standing here now…in a room full of bed sheets used to cover rich peoples furniture when they leave and never return…I’m thinking maybe just maybe, I made an error in judgment. Oh sheet what was that?

Randy, I can’t teach you. I want you to go. Is this a test? No ya clingy weirdo… now get out of here before I have to take out my namesake, the stick and play some pool on your head.

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BRIEF

Assassin-for-hire Elektra (Jennifer Garner) works for a mysterious international organization known as the Hand, for which she kills her targets without question, and in a conspicuous red bustier, no less. When the Hand asks her to kill Mark Miller (Goran Visnjic) and his daughter, Abby (Kirsten Prout), while they’re on holiday, Elektra’s conscience kicks in and she decides to protect her targets rather than eliminate them. Of course, the Hand isn’t so willing to let them off the hook.

Rated: PG-13

2005 ‧ Action/Fantasy ‧ 1h 44m

LINKS

IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0357277/

WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elektra_(2005_film)

Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/elektra

TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Elektra

WHERE TO WATCH

Max – https://www.max.com/movies/elektra/2d2cd49a-26db-4e62-b698-ecf43a1d313f

MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/elektra-2005

TRAILER/CLIPS

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Social Media Post

Elektra (2005) – Nice trick. But I’ve seen it before. #WasThisATest #No

SHOW NOTES

Will there be DareDevil?
Since Time Began. War has been waged … or even a child.
The evil has taken many forms.. in our time.. they called themselves the hand.
This warrior is a woman. I motherless daughter.. she is a treasure…the final weapon in an ancient war.
Love this opening shot of blue outside cold.. sorta warmth on the inside.
Elektra…she is a legend…died years ago.
They said Elektra whispers in your ear before she kills you.
You can’t fight a ghost.. especially one who is in the wind.
It’s all true. The red outfit. the knives.
Did she get her skills from scrub the floor?
Get rid of my DNA… scrub a scrub a scrub
She has an agent. Half to Barbados.
The ability to control time, future.. not the best…the most powerful
I can’t teach you. I want you to go. Is this a test? No. Go. I don’t have anywhere to go.
Her Hygiene and fruit sorting OCD is exhausting.
What did you steal? Woah. you are fast.
Damnit..2AM demon nightmares are the worst. Guess I’ll just get up and do some one arm pullups and jump rope until I feel sleepy.
A couple of days early…wants you to wait.
Creepy neighbor girl has the shining. She also counts.
Elektra…like the tragedy.
Today is Christmas. Come over for a dinner. Dad invited you..
warrior bead… i bought them off eBay.
I have authority issues.
Come stay on the island…we’ll have a few laughs… get to know the neighbor who is obviously on the run and is your mark. Duh. Tragic.
Elektra is running…she needs control and she can’t stay with her thoughts for too long.
I’ll call you when it’s done.
Will she won’t she compound bow of contemplation needs more drums
too many variables… not enough background.
Roof ninja go poof. Green Smoke cloud.
She has the shining.
Shot through the heart…you give ninja a bad name.
I will just green smoke cloud myself with a break neck.
They will keep coming. What comes next will be worse.
What is worse… Big Guy, Coin Balancer, Poison Boobs, Shoulder Bird and Bath Robe Ninja.
Your forces are an abomination.
The task is yours. Complete it. Lead the council. THE HAND
The Blind man. Not Daredevil? Aka.. The Stick… the pool stick?
Elektra…same walk….same perfume.
You got beat up by an old blind guy. Your one weakness.
Why is the Hand after you? Is the foot busy? SHREDDER!
Well Elektra. You haven’t changed.
Alien Poker and Striker Xtreme Pinball games
Change you name…change your appearance. Got to Africa.
Is that part of your code? I don’t have a code.
Mom wasn’t killed by a drunk driver…but by the hand.
Deploy Chest Bird Tattood … I am Tat-dude. Tadude.
So you really kill people for a living…why? Cause it is what I am good at…that’s messed up.. yeah.
Pauly Shore looking motherfucker.
Hello Abbey..
You are crashing on me baby…and you are crashing.
You are not the one…she is the one.
Salad Tongs.. Sais
Let me teach you something hard. Kimagure to bring back the dead. shift time. I’m no good at it……is this yoga…no Kimagure..
I am going to use my future site.
Take the tunnels in the basement…goes out past the orchard.
People shooting holes through doors should not look through said doors.
They call me bullet stopper. Typhoid, Stone…Tattoo…those are your names.
Stone is dumb as a rock. Let a tree smash him.
Air Wolf. Zoom.
What is coin man?.. knifey.
She can’t know who you are…guess what bitches…it is me.
mmm… death kisses.
The war is over…not yet.
Another Day old man.
You’ll be fine. You just need to sleep off the death.
She is the whip. Crack.
Don’t look for were your enemy is…know where he is.
They call her The Treasure.
Her father spirited away.
You’re entitled to your opinion. Was this a test? Is this the test?
Some lessons can not be taught…
This is not the way. This is not our way.
You talk in riddles old man.
Everybody lies… The layoffs and payroll deductions.
I don’t have OCD…
What are you doing… are you counting?
Don’t force it…and stop crying. ya big baby.
Little Lektra .. Lil’Lektra
Bring your greatest warrior. It will end where it began.
Rich people always covering their shit with white sheets before they leave…correction…having their servants do it.
Just you and me…and about 50 of my best ninjas
Time to put on my red and make these ninjas dead.
Welcome to the house of flame. wooph.
Clever girl.
Kirigi…we meet again…shuck my sheets.
His power is sheets and the power of illusion and using childhood trauma against you.
You taught her well…but it is time for a new master.
Is that what the blind man has been teaching you?
1.2.3 jump you bunch of OCDs
Tattoo is full of snakes
Stay close abbey…nope…did watch you in the landscape labyrinth
Nice trick. But I’ve seen it before. snap.
You know… I used to be the treasure.
So…is he like the wind? or like the sheets? Power of the fart?
Lets go. Push Push Push.
Suck it you smoke monster you.
Blade to the face.
problem solved. You can be the chosen one again.
Love saves the day.
The only thing that will save is the truth…tell it.
Is she about to Mr. Miyagi this shit. Return to me.
Take good care of her…Kiss… Sorry… yeah I hated that.
He’s just another pretty face.
Rich people problems.
Please don’t let her be like me. You didn’t turn out so bad…other than being a murderer.
Your second life is never really like your first…sometimes it is even better.
You get the stick.
She slinks. She slinks