Cowboys & Aliens (2011) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on FilmSack our disappointed parents send us outside to play a game of Cowboys & Aliens. The space kind…not the illegal types…. cause that would be silly. Silly like 2 classic genres of film being smashed together to form one giant ball of Sci-Fi Western Gold In Them There Hills from 2011 now streaming on Netflix and stealing our brain cells one … shiny …. liquid …. orb … at a time… no don’t look … so pretty …. wait… who am I?

Anywho, Greetings fellow Alien prospectors. Just a few words before we get started sucking gold from this dusty ass planet like a piece of corn stuck in a human’s back teeth. or as some of the locals call it. Maze. Now, as you are aware, after centuries of evolution we have developed hard outer shells, giant eyes good for seeing in the dark and an extra set of tiny little grabby hands growing out of our hearts good for being extra greedy with the caveat of exposing our life pump to stabby knives. So let’s stay safe out there and be sure to keep the use of your heart grabbers to a minimum unless absolutely necessary. Ahh… who am I kidding… grab to your hearts content… what could possibly go wrong!

Randy, You eyeballing my apple son? cause this apple wasn’t meant for you… it was meant for my biological son.

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BRIEF

Bearing a mysterious metal shackle on his wrist, an amnesiac gunslinger (Daniel Craig) wanders into a frontier town called Absolution. He quickly finds that strangers are unwelcome, and no one does anything without the approval of tyrannical Col. Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford). But when Absolution faces a threat from beyond Earth, the stranger finds that he is its only hope of salvation. He unites townspeople, outlaws and Apache warriors against the alien forces in an epic battle for survival.

Rated: PG-13
2011 ‧ Western/Sci-fi ‧ 2h 15m

LINKS

IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0409847/

WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cowboys_%26_Aliens

Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cowboys_and_aliens

TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/CowboysAndAliens

WHERE TO WATCH

Netflix – https://www.netflix.com/watch/70153714?source=35

MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/cowboys-and-aliens

TRAILER/CLIPS

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Social Media Post

Cowboys & Aliens (2011) – Only 2 kinds of films get shot. Cowboys or Aliens. So which are you.. Cowboy or Alien? Both? …. #RiverDump

SHOW NOTES

I am team Cowboy…who is team Alien?
Eee-maaag-eeeen
Meanwhile…in the desert.. dessert?
Gasp! I’ve been napping in the desert…and I done been shot in the side…and apparently I done got married? To this lady in the photo? Bump that.. I got a rock to solve that problem…
Uh oh… They are behind me aren’t they… 3 guys with distinct hats… and scalps…
Riding to Resolution…
He got iron on his wrist… might could be worth Bounty money… you ain’t talking?
What I can’t shoot I punch. Howdy puppy…
Shoe size… Close enough..
I’m gonna Terminator this thing… I show up. I kill. I wear your clothes.
Dead man clothes shopping…and I got a puppy!
Howdy Stranger…this ain’t your day stranger… hey stranger.
The doggie observer.
Yep…still bleeding and oozing.
Palms to Heaven friend.
Only 2 kinds of men get shot. Criminals and Victims. Friend… Stranger.
A splash for your wound. A splash for me.
Mining town…that was the idea…but they moved on from the here. No gold.
I’ve seen good men do bad things. I’ve seen bad men do good things.
Not bad for a country preacher.
Son of a Cattle Man and Tax collector… lets pass the hat around.
Doc Bartender… preacher is Doc.
Where did he come from?
It was an accident.. shot a guy standing on the sideline.
Got to lock you up percy.
Mr. Dollarhide … Colonel Dollarhide. don’t like drinking on the job.
So far…all the tropes of Cowboy.
About to take a River Dump…when Money makes you soft… and sky booms makes you go Sheeet
You shot a deputy Percy.
Wanted… son of a bitch.
Hey Charlie…why don’t you play something festive… it is like a funeral in here.
My pa is on his way.
Look lady… why you looking at me… Looking lady… just trying to drink my Whiskey.
Jake…Longeramanama
What am I good at? Fighting groups of men… but not one lady.
My Pa is coming for me. He learned how to kill a man good and slow in the war.
That cheap shot in the pecker.
I didn’t kill your cow Colonel Dollarhide.
Nobody calls me Colonel…and those that did as mostly dead.
What kind of a man goes around blowing up a man’s cows.
Arson.. mayhem.
and murder of a prostitute..
I need to know where you came from.
I don’t like it here Sheriff.
He wouldn’t have a job if it weren’t for me.
That is the son of a bitch
I am going to Santa Fe to talk to the judge.
Just when you thought we were at the height of tension… Aliens!
The aliens were giving the cowboys a taste of their own medicine after all the native American murder.
Give me your hand…I can get us free…by breaking your hand…
These aliens are playing the Claw Machine and the prize is humans.
Show you my arm band powers… pew pew pew Mr. Alien.
I know English…
Gun slinger dress wearing
I do not recall anything…but my latent skills.
Why you asking me. well you shot it…where did you get that thing? I don’t know.
It took my wife…is anyone in there?
Is it demons?
Boss.. it went this way.
Why you following me lady? What do you want?
They tha ones that done took our kin folk.
Got a kid and a dog…why not a woman.
They done took my kin too.
That is blood money.. by robbing and stealing. That is going to get us what we need…
Tha Claw
You got a hole in the roof.
Roping ’em for Chow.
Sing a song… cook some beans… do something useful.
Want some friendly advice. Get yourself a gun and learn how to use it.
Not often we get a Clancy Brown we can pull for.
I don’t know much about boats…but I would say that is upside down..
Get on the telegram and wait for Washington to tell us to wipe our asses.
I’m your Indian son… Those stories weren’t for you.
You eyeballing my apple son?
You been looking at this knife… You want this knife?
Don’t yank on it… it’s not your pecker.
Either he ain’t up there or he don’t like me very much.
Earn his Prescence and recognize it and act upon it.
That ain’t no gunshot wound.
Meanwhile, inside the upside down paddle boat casino… everything is upside down.
Uh oh… we in trouble… my bracelet is beeping.
Bastard… hurting the dog… don’t you hurt my dog! He has been here since the beginning.
Why you drop the knife kid… I told you to take care of it.
He got little tiny baby alien hands on the inside…. for probing.
God don’t care who you were son. Only who you are.
We ain’t waiting for him. He done run off or died.
World was a better place for having him. Dust to dust.
The Sheriff was his grandpa.
He is a racist… cause of the things he can’t forgive.
He tells the stories.. but they ain’t for you.
This knife has done killed man. Now take it…and be a man.
he means well.
You got to keep an Indian Tracker in your employ.
Ambush Holdup.
This your new gang Jake?
Jake did you break my tooth?
Discovering your past can be painful.
You took all our gold from our last job.
Demons. Demons took your gold. When you get to hell you can ask for it back.
Don’t forget your gun. You will always be my favorite.
We got air superiority here.
I don’t think those alien ships are environmentally friendly.
Can you swim? Yeah…but no…don’t do it!
We were flying… I don’t want to do that again.
Hey…that is the wound he got…so now we know how that happened.
You remember now don’t you. The woman… did you love her? I can’t remember.
You and me are going to be just fine… maybe.
Doc Drink.
Dangit.. she didn’t make it.
Nah…she’s not gone. No.
The Apache’s are here…. Things are at there worst… They just gonna burn her body!
This is Black Knife… Last of his people. This is what is left of the Karankawa. You brought the demons.
Oh snap… She materialized from the fire. I’m from a different place. I took this form to not freak you out. I didn’t know if I could heal this body.
Where are you from… She came from a place above the stars.
You are both big men.. and great warriors.
What about my grandpa.
They are here for the gold. They are just scouts. It is what they did to my people.
I can’t remember anything. They will take care of that.
Here drink some of this Native American tripping balls juice while I stroke your ears… Humming Bird.
Ok. So she dead…she gone… dust to dust.
I brought the gold to the house..that is why she died.
Owwee probe
They don’t see well in day light.
That is just the tip. The rest is below ground.
Get our people out.
Your advantage is they think you are insects.
The Apache are mountain warriors…it is better to fight the high ground.
The dog made it!!
These aliens are here to wipe us out.
He has a soft spot of the young.
He despises fighting but never run from it.
Are they drinking the humans? Seemed more medical than cattle blood letting.
Maybe a little too much comedy in this movie. A good western needs to take itself a little more serious?
Matches… he has a cigar in his mouth.
insects with dynamite.
Lets lure the aliens out and … die!
Literal Arm cannon.
Good thing the aliens have tiny little Daniel Craig wrists.
This is how the get the gold out…thanks…I wouldn’t have figured that out.
They will…keep at it.
Look fake Pa… I done lassoed me an alien. The Doc carries a big gun.
Did we get one? I always dreamed of riding into battle with you. I always dreamed of having a son like you. Go… get Percy… your disappointment.
Doc ain’t much of a doc. He ain’t even saved one person yet… with his medical skills that is.
if they bleed…we can kill ’em.
Welcome to the cattle room… we all float up here…. don’t look into the light… but… it is so purty… I told you not to look into the light…
Oh gross.. They done been goo’ed
Hot gold… be careful. Hot gold.
Geez man… how many scouts they got?
Old toothy holding them off.
I got one of them Staring at the light too long hangovers… which ‘a way do I need to go?
No horses were harmed in the making of this movie… Ok.. maybe that one…. oh… and maybe that one.
I’m gonna hold off back here and watch with the looking glass and the dog.
Just kidding kid… I didn’t run away… boo!
I gonna use my tiny grabby hands next to my heart… poor design… poor design.
There’s Gold in them there hills…and it’s hot! molten hot and defying gravity! What the hell!
Same way you shoot it. With your mind…you got to stop thinking…. no problem lady. How about an alien kiss… remember… I just took on this form…it ain’t how I look. It fell off.
Goodbye Jake… I got my gold. Out chump! They didn’t take my people… they took my gold!
Sir Lance-A-Boy
Crawling deeper into the maw of the alien ship head.
That is a lot of pocket watches, glasses and teeth.
Alien doctor is like… Remember me…. you took my bracelet and made me look like a chump… oh… and you took my eye… an eye for an eye.
Gold bath… sounds cool. burns like hell.
Demons. Another face melting for Harrison Ford.
This tube seems to go nowhere…
Goodbye aliens
That makes 2 women I lost this month.
Percy. Don’t you remember me boy. Good. Let’s start over.
Do you remember me. Of course I do.
You guys follow me in battle one more time?
The humming bird is here… everything is going to be alright.
Is that Sam Elliot at the Piano
We got a lot of gold… and we know where it is.
We need new checks. Dollarhide and Son. Being abducted by aliens was the best thing that ever happened to you.
This town is about to get a whole lot bigger.
I saw Jake die in those caves… right sheriff.
Jake… she is in a better place… up in the sky… all blown up.
See ya around. Off into the sunset… GOLD!