Hardware

Hardware (1990) – No Disassemble, Johnny 5 is alive. No Disassemble. I swear if you disassemble Johnny 5… I will haunt your ass into the dystopian future and destroy you….disassemble. Twitter: Hardware – A movie that requires a second viewing but only deserves one. You put me in a no win situation Mr. Stanley. disassemble… Continue reading Hardware

TimeLine

Timeline (2003)  116 min  Rated PG-13 Timeline is a 2003 science fiction adventure film directed by Richard Donner, based on the novel of the same name by Michael Crichton. A team of present-day archaeologists are sent back in time to rescue their professor from medieval France in the middle of a battle. It stars Paul Walker, Frances O’Connor, Gerard… Continue reading TimeLine

Double Dragon

Double Dragon (1994) – ….To one son he gave the medallion for power over the body…for the other…the soul…And to his daughter he gave some wooden cookware…cause that is how they rolled in ancient china….Hey, my scroat has a mohawk too. Twitter: Double Dragon: Are you guys even real brothers? I am thinking way too hard… Continue reading Double Dragon

Deep Impact

Deep Impact (1998) – Szzhhhh….I don’t want to say we made it worse…but uh…we made it worse…Now we have 2 objects hurling towards earth. Now sit down America as I explain this like an 8th grade science teacher. Twitter:   Deep Impact: Like Armageddon. But with more character development….and just as depressing…would someone please work… Continue reading Deep Impact

Predators

Predators (2010) – eeeek….I’m falling from the sky!!! Oh dear lord…wait…I see other people…phew. oh good…they seem to have parachutes…and yes they are opening…phew…I’m going to be alright….splat. oh no…does my arm look bad. I mean it is in a really awkward way. Did I remember to pack that one guys parachute….hmmm…meh…who cares. Hey…ya know… Continue reading Predators

The Island

The Island (2005) – alright…in this scene…I need to you to run really fast….and yell…go go go…then we will film a scene where you yell run run run and you…well you get the idea. GO GO GO. I’m Michael Bay!  and there is no Island! Alright, let’s be for real. If people are doing this…you know… Continue reading The Island