Filmsack Notes


RollerBall (1975) (125 min – Rated: R)

Rollerball is a 1975 dystopian science fiction film directed by Norman Jewison from a screenplay by William Harrison,[2] who adapted his own short story “Roller Ball Murder”, which first appeared in the September 1973 issue of Esquiremagazine.[3] Although it had an American cast, a Canadian director, and was released by the American company United Artists,[4] it was produced in London and Munich.[5][6]


ooooh….Houston we have a problem. Looks like moonpie just took it to the back of the head in turn 3. Domo Arigoto Mr. Roboto.  yes, may I please have another. Has anyone seen his mom cause I’m pretty sure he’s going to need a juicebox…for the rest of his life.  If you bet on red 22. You win! Brainwavez.

Twitter:  Rollerball –  This wasn’t meant to be a game! Narf. “Help!! Help!! My asian masseuse fell on me!! Get it off…Get it off…she’s so short.” Bam! Erased. Now get out of my house!


Stuff I Loved:

  • You just taught me about a new font.
  • Oh. Fancy music (Phantom of the opery)

double n to n : Are we winning yet?

Look at that Camera Array. It’s everywhere.

Getting a Hockey/Football/Baseball/Roller Derby feel.

Very Vetted.

Those guys are some souped up motobikes.

Madrid vs Houston.

  • It’s good to see in the future that there is still male on male ass harassment in sports
  • Man look at that young James Caan
  • Check out my moustache and flyback hair.
  • Organ music is the future.
  • Controller test his computerized equipment.
  • All sports of the future are played on roller skates.
  • If you need a cannon to launch your game ball….well…maybe you need to rethink your sport.
  • He must hold the ball out in plain view at all times…well that is just bull frap.
  • Motocycles and big silver balls.

It’s good to see the ref is still blind in rollerball

  • Punch people in the face. Fishhooking. Crotch kicking sure. But if you punch a rider on a bike. That gets you the boos.

He shoots he scores! (go high on the end part.)

  • Nothing better than a shirtless rubdown while talking to the rich old whiteman owner.

“I feel mean”

  • Corporate wars. Now that is something I would watch!
  • the corporate wars….”they were nasty!”

man…only James Caan could make an awesome sport like rollerball sound like cricket. Less talk. More punchies.


  • Speedball from Manilla.
  • Polyester Onsie!

I love me a Luxury Center. Get me a privilege card.

A lot of 70s cuties in this movie

  • Energy versions of books?

Wood paneling. So out of style. it’s in style.

  • One of them movie moments.
  • I am going to have to be a lot drunker to watch this movie

It’s all about the chest hair. I has it.

Tv’s of the future are not bigger. Just more plentiful.  

Holy crap. I want me some Daphne sunglasses. Those are hoooot.

Rollerball is international

A mess of nerves behind the ears.

Tokyo team is gonna use karate. Cowboy up Houston.

  • This movie is about rules. But there are no rules.
  • Dancing of the future is very reserved. Looks like we are vulcan dancing.

Did he say The Krunk-o-dile?

Let’s see that hit of the week again! Clothes line…Clothes line. What is the future equivalent of clothesline. Washing Machine!! Bam! Washing Machine.

This movie is more about the human experience than about a crazy sport of the future.

  • I want concessions.

Rich people hate trees. I mean like Laser gun hate.

Time to smack my corporate concubine.

Here…talk into my gameshow mic.

“Help!! My asian masseuse fell on me!! Get it off…Get it off.”

  • Hey…Japanese people are short. I get it now.
  • The Japanese anthem sounds like music from the shire. and other Tolkein crap.

These Japanese are creeping me out with their shogun stares. RONIN!

Hey John-na-thon…Don’t stand so close to number 9. It looks silly on TV. “69”

  • Pretty sure it is not a good idea to wear those big ole prescription glasses while playing a contact sport such as RollerBalls
  • Pretty sure you killed that dude you kicked off the motobike
  • How did your buddy die? Punch to the back of the head.
  • Alright…when you go down with your eyes open…does that mean you are dead…or just incapacitated?
  • A game with so much down time you can literally hangout in a corner with some buddies and form a gang to go attack a stray teammember on the other team.
  • Blooood…we want bloood.

Oh no…this turned into soccer. AKA Football for the rest of the world.

Fan in the rink!!

Hey ref….or ball shooter guy. How about stopping the game after you pepsi’s that one dude…you remember…like michael jackson in that pepsi commercial?

“Your teammate is brain dead. But we were unsure if that was how he was when he came in…or if this is a recent injury?”

Holy Crap. They knocked the brain waves out of moonpie

Negative – Computer voice says. Negative.

Don’t understand why Multi-View TV never caught on.

Bam! Erased. Now get out of my house!

and just in case you forget: no penalties and limited player substitutions

Fight Fight Fight!

We need a MASH unit up here!

It wasn’t meant to be a game? then why do I have this Houston Jersey and bobble head doll of Jame Caan!

  • Ahhh…sheet…this ain’t no game. It’s a murder.
  • Murder Ball!
  • Bartholemeul! Were you not entertained!

I feel dystoped

I need some music for my dystopian movie trope. Dystrope!

Bam. I am da man!

Filmsack Notes


C.H.U.D. (1984)  80 min  Rated R

C.H.U.D. is a 1984 American horror film produced by Andrew Bonime, and directed by Douglas Cheek with Peter Stein as the director of photography and William Bilowit as production designer. The cast includes Daniel Stern and John Heard and features an early appearance by John Goodman as a police officer. It was followed in 1989 by C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D.

C.H.U.D. is an acronym for “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller”. However, the alternate acronym “Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal” was mentioned in the film.

Opener: Oh sweet….Free Ground Geiger…what…yeah this Geiger Counter is free.. Just like when you find a burger on the street. Ground stuff is always free. Except, dog crap….that’s not yours…that’s for the hobo’s. They need it to smear all over their bodies for their street tans. No…that’s not sun exposure…that’s dog crap. That’s why they smell so bad. CHUD

Twitter: C.H.U.D. – I can’t be held responsible for everything that shows up in the sewer….wink wink…nod nod…

Stuff I Loved:

Longest walk ever

I like playing phone games.

Ass pimples. No better way to introduce the sexy lead lady

“Hi Derrick…I totally wasn’t avoiding you.”

Angry photographers are always getting the police called on them…cause they always end their phone calls with “I’m shooting so and so”

That is one nasty street.

Pixie hair of the 80s

Cheap props…Cardboard boxes. You are welcome.

I don’t want to bore you with Crime Statistics…buuuuut…. Kirby doesn’t like to make toys. He’s DEAD!

Why is Bosch looking directly into the camera when talking on the phone….red phone at that.

Audio abruption is horrible.

That bag lady has a dirt tan.

Posing “noood”

They know what’s in it..they can smell it.

Angriest photographer ever. Such morals.

There are a lot of bad phone machine jokes in this movie

Hello, this is Derrick. I can’t get no respect.

What has he been doing? Cleaning chimneys with Mary Poppins?

It’s the wet bandits.

They have the power to shut the sky?

Where did he get a knife like that? I always think of Croc-o-dile Dundee when there is knife discussion in a movie

Bandages…nobody ever wants stinking bandages.

can’t be held responsible for everything that shows up in the sewer….wink wink…nod nod.

You have a gun but no bandages. What kind of person are you?

You afraid of heights? No…I’m afraid of widths and dirty ole bag ladies.

Holy crap…you don’t need bandages…you need superglue

Buck Dancer’s Choice? I don’t get it either.

Ooooh…that was your wife Bosch. I thought she was a street walker. With a dog…yeah…guess it seems odd now.

They’re undergrounders

Information exchange is key in this movie

Oh look. Free Ground Geiger. Free as a Ground Burger…if it’s on the ground…it’s free.

I’m pregnant.

That kid in the phonebooth….No love loss there.

hahaha….The kid is hysterical…Someone did not read the script…

I want every outhouse…shithouse…

I went to this man’s soup kitchen last night…oh Bosch….I didn’t know things were that bad. we’ll get you a raise.

I only wear nude colored clothes…so it looks like I am always nude.

Everybody goes by their last names in this movie

You must be a pretty important fella…fella.

CHUD…the sound your shower drain makes when it clogs up.

Splatter drain!! Blood everywhere….Nah…I’m cool…just busted a main artery in the drain line.

Pump the gas!!


Filmsack Notes

The Frightners

The Frightners (1996) (110 min – Rated: R)

The Frighteners is a 1996 comedy horror film directed by Peter Jackson and co-written with his wife, Fran Walsh. The film stars Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Peter Dobson, John Astin, Dee Wallace Stone, Jeffrey Combs, R. Lee Ermey, Jim Fyfe, and Jake Busey. The Frighteners tells the story of Frank Bannister (Fox), an architect who develops psychic abilities allowing him to see, hear, and communicate with ghosts after his wife’s murder. He initially uses his new abilities to work with various spirits to cheat money out of customers for his “ghosthunting” business. However, the spirit of a mass murderer comes back from Hell, able to attack the living and the dead, as the ghost of the Grim Reaper, prompting Frank to investigate the supernatural presence.


Wait Frank!…don’t kill yourself…… Let me do it… I think I have Kevin Bacon and Keifer Southerland on speeddial. Get it…Where they kill themselves. Flatliners….no? screw you.

Twitter:  The Frightners – Somewhere between ghostbusters and Doc Hollywood you will find a creepy necro-phelia scene. Just like Doc Hollywood. nice shooting Tex.


Stuff I Loved:

Who better to bring you a monster movie than Universal

  • That is one creepy house

What is up with the lady bowl cuts?

  • Music by Danny Elfman…yeah.  Peter Jackson

What kind of car is that? is it New Zealand like Peter Jackson

The most direct way down a mountain. A straight line apparently

  • Didn’t he do this at the start of Doc Hollywood?
  • What a young Busey. Jake Busey that is.

The family home is a Sanatorium? No wonder.

  • Raggedy Ann doll pillow beatdown
  • If a poltergeist can lift a bed. Why don’t they just go ahead and smoosh you.
  • I used to never could relate to the Suburban Husband and his obsession with his fence. I’m older now. I can totally relate. Get off my lawn you shyster!

Bathroom conversation about the food? No thanks.

  • The bulging wall effect. I loved this back in the day. Still very effective.
  • Michael J Foxes tearing through the backroom looking for Death was awesome.

The Death Corridor is kind of like a worm hole.

  • Hitler Hair.

Love the idea of puking because you can’t handle being yelled at by a woman.

  • You are violating my territorial bubble
  • Is this the first movie after Teen Wolf? Bannister making the basetball court in the back yard with his long hair looks like a teenwolf followup. Remember TeenWolf 2?
  • Want to pull my heart strings? Kill the Judge.
  • I was a little disturbed by the necrophilia with the Judge and the mummy
  • Man. These cops have a little bit of reckless regard for public safety.
  • Good on ya. A Ghost Busters reference…hooo hooo hooo…nice shooting Tex.
  • Vovlos are safe cars. Thank goodness Bannister drives them. Cause he is kind of wreckless.
  • How come all my accidents involve stitches and not super powers?
  • Trope: Kick the dog to protect it. Punch the Big Foot so he will return to the woods. Say mean things to the girl so she will be safe.
  • Piss on my hushpuppies
  • Gary Buseys dad used to say “OMG. look at those teeth. This is your fault woman.”
  • This is one of those. “Nobody is safe movies.” Even if you are dead you can still be killed.
  • The cops are the “stupid parents” in this movie. If you involve the cops as your primary unbelieving foil then you have no one to turn to. Usually Parents, Adults, Cops or the Military. Occasionally a spouse. Why is it never your kids. I would totally watch a movie where your teenage kids turn you over to the authorities and eventually die at the end of the movie because they think you are lame when you tell them there is a talking possum that is trying to take over the city.
  • Wait…don’t kill yourself…… Let me do it… I think I have Kevin Bacon and Keifer Southerland on speeddial. Get it…Where they kill themselves. Flatliners….no? screw you.
  • Watching MJ Fox getting run over while out of body was painful.
  • Your shotgun has unlimited ammo. Nice upgrade…ohh…and a flashlight.
  • Yeah…let’s not find a regular church…no…let’s go to the abandoned hospital and find the chapel where all those people died. Why can’t you hear me! I am screaming at the TV.

I have an uzi. and I’m crazy!

Filmsack Notes

Terminator 2

Terminator 2: Judgment Day  (1991)  137 min  Rated R

Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a 1991 American science fiction action film, the second installment of the Terminator franchise and the sequel to The Terminator (1984). Directed by James Cameron and written by Cameron and William Wisher, Jr., it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, and Edward Furlong. Terminator 2 follows Sarah Connor (Hamilton) and her ten-year-old son John (Furlong) as they are pursued by a new, more advanced Terminator, the liquid metal, shapeshifting T-1000 (Patrick), sent back in time to 1995 to kill John and prevent him from becoming the leader of the human Resistance against the machines. An older, less advanced Terminator (Schwarzenegger) is also sent back in time to protect John.

Opener: And that’s when that stupid kid and his muscle bound robot cuffed me face down on the floor in front of a urinal. Could have chained me to a sink. But nooo…..face down right into the pee pee. Washed my face for 3 hours straight. also, the kid kept calling some dude his mom.

Twitter: Terminator 2 – Unlike the Harry Housen’esq look of the original terminator this 2nd in the series has a sleek polished turd “on the floor next to the toilet” quality to it. ooooh I almost step in that.

about 2 hours in I wanted to self terminate but I can not! push the button. The more you Learn….

I can not self terminate…if you know what I mean…help a robot out.

Stuff I Loved:


Machines have airplanes….drat!! How we suppose to win.

Machines got no ethics…they will try to kill ladies….and kids..whatever it takes!!

Time traveling naked. Probably not a good idea

With all that processing power…the best the future bots can do is…time travel. Program Error!!

It must really be noisy in a terminators head…all those computer computations sounds.

You look about like my size. No he isn’t!

Still don’t understand why clothes can’t time travel.

Man the foster parents were treated like crap.

Sara Conners kind of has a mental hospital fort built in her room.

A boy and his robot. John Connor is annoying.

Pepsi…played by coke.

Nah…a big guy on a bike…that is totally normal…did you give he a picture of your foster child as well? Also, foster care parents of the year.

is there a “bucks” button on ATMs from the early 90s.

Hey, why do you have movie still from Terminator 1 as the only pic of your mom.

Mullets and arcades…early 90s man. what an interesting time.

How did Arnold buy that box of roses to hide his gun in.

You got to remember when we first saw T2…we weren’t sure if Arnold was still the bad guy…

I can actually believe Robot Patrick could run 50 mph

I can drive a semi like a robot patrick

Something about flat faces semis that are super scary to be chased by.

vehicles of the 90s had great suspensions….kind of explody…but great suspensions.

The orderlies in insane asylums are always crazier than the patients. Mind if I taste your face…slurp.

The best parts about Terminator movies is the terminators just keep coming. Robots never tire…same for BSG….

A learning computer….

A boy and his brobot

All I caught was Tequilla. He’s alright by me.

That kid that Arnold picked up by the scruff was pretty good sport about being picked up by the scruff.

The best car I got is the suck.

Why do you cry? I mean…me and the other robots sit around trying to figure that shit out.

When a robot gives you a 5…better buck up.

The terminator was going to be a good dad.

Public Enemy Shirt!!

Dyson!…If we can can destroy the vacuum man then we can prevent the war.

OMG…this kid is annoying

Just about all the parents in this movie suck.

Poor old Gibbens facedown in the bathroom at a stall.

Yo. I got this…I have a programmable card….we can watch some free porn after this.

Who needs a plan when you can walk through walls.

Miles has a great death scene

The number of dumbfounded people in this movie is ridiculous.

If you are the hero. Just go ahead and let someone else drive from the start. Instead of the whole “Here….take the wheel crap.”

 Who are you yelling at? Get the hell out of here…you are up 3 stories in a crane operators booth.

Dangit….hot lava!! Do you know how many times I have lost at robot wars because of hot lava.

Slowly getting beat to death by an i-beam. gotta smart.

Nobody reloads a gun as it was intended in this movie.

All evil can be vanquished in the fires of mordor..

I can not self terminate…if you know what I mean…help a robot out.

Filmsack Notes

Small Soldiers

Small Soldiers (1998) (108 minutes – Rated: PG-13)


The Commando Elite are toy action figures programmed to annihilate another toy group, the Gorgonites. But before the Elite have been tested, the son of a toy store owner opens them, causing the Elite to attack the children playing with them.


Directed by        Joe Dante

Produced by        Michael Finnell

Colin Wilson

Written by        Gavin Scott

Adam Rifkin

Ted Elliott

Terry Rossio

Starring                Kirsten Dunst

Gregory Smith

Jay Mohr

Phil Hartman

Kevin Dunn

Denis Leary

Frank Langella

Tommy Lee Jones

Music by        Jerry Goldsmith

Release date(s)                July 10, 1998

Budget                $40 million

Box office        $54,682,547


Opener: I got 2 words for you Alan. Friend Zone! Pretty sure Joe the pervert truck driver prefers older boys. Like Brett. also, your dad is a real jerk.

Twitter:  Small Soldiers – Weird Science, Toy Story (1&2) , Gremlins and being puked on by an encarta full of popular culture terms….lies this movie.


Stuff I Loved:


Was Tobias always bald.

Zoot Suit Riot on Moyer

The real world sucks…except for the boss lady who has a name that sounds like a lady parts exercise.

Are those 12” action figures?

It’s called multimedia Erwin.

Nick Nitro needs some dental work.

Hello Mr. Chips. X1000

Hey dude. 3d printers in 98…that was pretty forward thinking.

Goodbye microbrewerys

The military always screws up stuff.

Why are we obsessed with bringing toys to life.

Trucker Joe is not a very reliable employee

What kind of currency is….a lot

Friendzoned dude. No way is she picking your nerdy toy store over motocycle dude.

Is this the first time anyone saw a bagged salad in a movie?

All these toys are pretty ripped.

Trope: Say name followed by another term. Now your name is Alan Shutup

Keeper of Encarta. Sweeeet

Ergo Keyboards

This is going to be the friendzone movie. I can feel it.

Oh you were dusting…with a crochet mallet.

Your dad is a douche

How can you compete with Brett the atheletic motocycler

educational toys the Gorgonites 

Are you on drugs Crank, Crystal Meth,

Christy Fimple


EMP…that means Eletromagnetic Impluse

The Brain movie cameo…now that is a filmsack movie

This chic likes Led Zeplin and Rush.


build montage. Queen!!

Good ole Phil Hartman. Miss him

“It’s a Trap”

I could have done with some longer music montages. Just when the rock and roll was getting good they cut it.

Every word that the Commado Elite utters is a phrase from popular culture.Started to give me a headache.

That is one mean motorscooter Kirsten Dunst has. It totally E.T.s it over that ditch.

Filmsack Notes

The Relic

The Relic (1997)  110 min Rated R

The Relic is a 1997 science fiction/horror film directed by Peter Hyams and based on the best-selling novel Relic by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. The film stars Penelope Ann Miller, Tom Sizemore and Linda Hunt. The original music score was composed by John Debney. The film is rated R for monster violence, gore, and language.


Holy crap Fred. I just passed by the hot scientist ladies’ office and she was in there with the   creepy german lady and professor wheelchair talking about  shit on a leaf and  topless ushers..what a bunch of freaks….Fred you in there? Fred?  hello

Topless Ushers For The Ballet. The Wheelchair scientist is down with that.

Twitter: The Relic – Red carpet roller! In a hurry! Coming through people! We got red carpet to lay here! It’s red. best part of the movie. cause it was the part I could see

Stuff I Loved:

Hey, here is a bit of advice. Don’t drink what the tribe man gives you.

You can’t park your boat here!

I have to get my Chip out of the harbor

I’m just going to Indiana Jones my way back onto the Chip.

Man…I’m really sweating.

Am I going blind? This movie is really dark.

I can’t stop screaming! what did they give me!

The pointy end is the bow. It’s a ship…not a boat.

His ex-wife got custody of the dog

Is this red stuff on the wall blood?


Cat! Always a cat. Scream!

What is that smell? It smells like Cat Anus.

We found the body…

Nice trucker cap.

Walk Children…Walk!! it’s the Walk lady.

No…I’m not “sc-a-r-ed”

The Inside “walk” man.

It’s the lady from the Incredibles.

She always plays the same German like lady.

So put on your party dress.

Revolution Biologist. Where our tails go?

“Margo!” Holy shite! Scared the crap out of me.

Topless Ushers For The Ballet. The Wheelchair scientist is down with that.

Are these eggs? No…fungus.

Do they look like eggs to you? Moron.

This fridge is for creepy fungus eggs…not food.

This is like Night At The Museum…

What they going to do…put us in Museum jail?

Man…I wish I had a public restroom with a window. You see them in the movies all the time…but I can’t think of a single public restroom with a window. Movie magic?

Was he smoking pot? or was it a filterless cigarette.

“No Margo…they aren’t eggs…they’re fungus…shut up professor wheelchair…I know that.”

Worked myself to the bone…that was pretty good.

Guy in a wheelchair…is that a horror trope?

What are you…scared? That is a classic movie line. I have never said that in real life.

I remember those flying bird banners outside the museum.

“Hang onto your fucking hat”….I’m not wearing a hat! Have you ever seen me wear a hat.


Don’t step over the body….it’s bad luck.

This is like the original CSI

oh…Jeffrey Dahmer reference….how fresh was that when this movie was made?

Beetles in Bug Beetles?

Don’t touch a penny face down…it’s bad luck.

Don’t look a good place to light a match.

Empty….that is the definition of empty

No drugs…just minor relics

Black stone!

Don’t you hate someone who just takes head and never gives it.

Read something on the internet? This is realy internet.

What a sarcastic and hilarious morgue lady.

The brain fell out.

Brought to you by Evian.

No food…unless it is my sandwhich.

Nothing sounds like more fun than touring the relics wing of the museum at night…by yourself after a murder!!

Wait…murders and monsters don’t use the sink.’s the cleaning lady. phew.

Red carpet roller! In a hurry! Coming through fellas! We got red carpet to lay!

Espesso vs Latte cop talk

These cops are real good at spotting blood.

They are missing their hypo thalomos

Sounds like the Tardis is coming in. Or is that the creature breathing?

Headaches were caused by sorcery. I agree. Kill the sorcery!

It’s the same stink!! I would recognize that stink anywhere.

This whole movie is so freaking dark.

Pretty sure you just shot a bum.

Have you ever seen my wife’s clevage?

As much as I deem GD neccessary

I need a team of dogs. Get better dogs.

Bugs check in…but they make an evolutionary jump when they come out!

big beetle…big beetle chase me

Human Hypothalamus

Fred Ford is a great name.


“Down the stairs?” That’s right professor wheelchair.

It’s how chicago stays warm? Farts?

We got your better dogs. See ya better dogs!


Thank you for coming out tonight….have you seen my wife’s tits.

Where do you get a giant pair of novelty scissors

Coffee affinados

The over laugher at the Mayor.

are descending cages really a thing in museums? With vault doors.

I feel the same way after an hour at the museum. LET ME OUT!! Fuck the doors…just bust through the glass.

It’s only for the lab area (chicago accent,.)


Do you have plenty of ammo? I’m loaded…no…really I’m drunk. Gimmie some bullets.

Are you Spiderman Dagusta?

Nom Nom Nomm…hypothalumus!

I think the monster has asthma

That was effective….pulling the “help me” guy up…suddenly he is lighter. Oops…no lower torso.

Match…Homo Sapien.

Scientist make fighting monsters easier.

I don’t think they are going to make it.

Breaking off into groups. Never a good idea…unless you are in the happening. Then you want to be in Walhbergs group.

Oh no! It’s mostly made of science boy!!

Run! Throw bottles at him! Run!!

She is not carefully measuring those compounds…if you have ever been in chemistry class…you know that means explosion!!

Monsters are always leaky…drip drip drip

mmm….monster kisses are the best.

I’m a firestarter…IT BURNS!!

You go to hell…you protein plant eating beast!!