Categories
Filmsack Notes

The Faculty

The Faculty (1998) – Sure, there are a lot easier ways to beat up on someone’s nuts, but hardly any more entertaining than hairy hobbit skroat right into the ye ole flagpole. guaranteed to make ‘em run to the boys room crying, just like when they attempted to leave Samwise on the river bank. It’s Hobbits and Harnett on this weeks film sack

Skatting in the boys room.

Twitter:

The Faculty – We don’t need no education. We got these old juiced up Apple II gs’es that the Cryptkeeper upgraded for us.  and juice boxes!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Faculty

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133751/

 

Stuff I Loved:

Offspring for the start.

Angry coach.

No new computers…get the old ones juiced. No field trips to NY City…you are not getting out of Ohio. No Musical this year.

You will always been a cold bitch to me. Sleep it off coach.

Pencil through the hand. That has to smart.

Never realized there was so much pointy shit in a school.

Mrs. Olsen…run.

When they tell you to use your keys as a defensive weapon. They should remind you to hang onto the keys.

Alice iN Chains. We don’t need no education cover!

Hobbits and Hartnett

Angriest school ever.

There are easier ways to beat up someone’s nuts but hardly more entertaining.

Don’t talk about snorting Skat in the boys room.

John Stewart cameo.

Ain’t it Cool teacher.

Aliens are always thirsty.

Why am I getting beat up? Oh wait…is it because I am in High School and still drinking Juice Boxes. Oh yeah.

Usher says…wooo hoooo hoooo.

Hard to buy Usher as a bully.

Holy crap. Old Lady in the boys shower room. Classic horror movie device. My favorite is The Shining.

Coach is a meatball. He is out there standing in the sprinklers.

Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt in the car trunk. VHS.

Best “fall in the hall” goes to the hobbit

No more Flogging the Bishop

I have a cool mac…wait..what year is this?

What an original place to hide your porn.

Loving Famke Janssen in Hemlock Grove

This movie makes me thristy.

Love the back chatter. Comments on characters in a group.

Tit Bags….that could be our sister podcast…gross.

ID4 reference

Who knew…the parasite aliens can’t take scat to the eye.

“Me so Hornet”

Muff Diving

The aliens took down the radio stations.

Wait…doing the high school sex probability math. 3 dudes and 3 girls.

Bad Boy, Jock, Nerd, Popular Chic, Tough Chic & Southern Bell

Stupid Jock who doesn’t want to be a jock.

Bad boy who is really the street smart nerd.

Nerd…wussy…isn’t even that smart.

Popular girl who is head of the school paper

Tough Chic/SciFi Movie Chic

Southern sweet chic

How do you sell drugs…why you package them in a clear pens.

He’s tweaking! let him tweak.

Hey, I got a great idea….we are being chased by aliens. Let’s all do drugs.

So far…everyone has said no to drugs…but peer pressure wins out.

oh fook. MY LAB!

I would go to more High School Football games if it had fireworks and alien infestations….oh…and clotheslines.

That’s was your whole plan? Sniff this?

Was the Football team wearing tap shoes?

Brutal face plant at the pool by stokely.

Never compete with a wuss when it comes to running.

Wonder how everybody else passes the leech creatures from their body.

Always seems to be a creepy Student/Teacher relationship.

Wuss gets the girl. Whatev!

Even John Stewart gets a happy ending. DONUT

Categories
Filmsack Notes

Tombraider

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (Tom Braider) (2001)

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is a 2001 adventure and fantasy film[2] adapted from the Tomb Raider video game series. It was directed by Simon West and starred Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft, with Jon Voight, Chris Barrie, Iain Glen, Noah Taylor, and Daniel Craig in supporting roles. It was released in U.S. theaters on June 15, 2001. The film was a commercial success. The film held the title of highest grossing video game to film adaptation worldwide, until on June 16, 2010, the record was taken by Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, which grossed $335 million worldwide as of October 10, 2010 (although it is still #1 with adjustments for inflation). Reviews were largely negative, with critics criticizing the sloppy direction and video-game-esque action-sequences, but praising Jolie’s performance.

Opener: Hello, this is Brian from the prop department. Could you please let Mrs. Jolie know we have completed her prosthetic balls…complete with skroat bag. We made them plenty tough. So she can do as much crotch grabbing as she needs in this movie.  

The illuminati are known for their procrastination. Hence the meeting the day before the big solar alignment dealie. “Mr. Powell. What the status of the project. Oh…you are going to need a few more days on that.”

Twitter:  Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – Two movie quotes sum up this movie for me. First, “My ignorance amuses me” and 2nd “Into the belly of the beast…and out of the demons ass.”

 

Stuff I Loved:

What makes a good video game movie

What makes a good action star

What makes a good woman action star

Dual Wielding guns

Robot fight

Apparently, Angelina Jolie thinks…being a badass is walking like a dude.

Side boob

15h of may.

Starts out with a Danger room scene. Then turns into Batman mansion. Then right into the illuminati. With Little Boy blue and the council of old white business owners.

1 day…here is my fat finger in case you can’t hear me.

Her dad is HER DAD!

Pluto! That ain’t no planet Lara.

Oh goody. Finally a character building moment. What do they do? Put it in slow motion during a dream and hire the most annoying kid ever.

Do they really stuff old crates with Hay? is that what that is?

You hammer like a freak Laura.

It’s hard to feel anything for Laura when the character plays like some annoying badass that loves to make people feel uncomfortable with her aggressiveness.

Why did you even bring this thing to the old man. You know everything about it.

I wear all black. Surely I must be a bad guy.

“My ignorance amuses me.”

One more up pan and I may puke.

Hmmm…I am amused by your appearance into my home. Time to act arrogant.

“Siren Alarm Music!!” Now I am kicking ass!!

I want to shoot her…I really do…but I can’t see to adjust to shooting at her instead of shooting behind her feet. Oh well. I’m dead.

That UPS driver must have had that package already in his hand when he pulled up. He was out of that truck lickity splity.

45 minutes into Tomb Raider….Finally…maybe some raiding of tombs will take place.

The artifact was split in 2 pieces and taken to the opposite ends of the world…which was thought to be flat at the time. Which makes them in the same Tomb. Which you will apparently never raid. At least not in this movie.

Everyone knows if you want to be comfortable in the jungle while the local natives do all the work…well you need a posh couch with a few pillows on it.

Into the belly of the beast…and out of the demons ass.

Monkey Gollums.

Laura rammed her big phallic symbol into the belly of the monkey.

Maybe if we walk away slowly it won’t kill us with it’s 6 arms.

What the hell? So they all ran outside and hung out at the jungle couch when they saw that 6 armed lady come to life?

We must find the eye!!

The climax is like an episode of WipeOut

Who would betray the Illuminatti!!

Goodbye Mr. Bond

Changing time is real hard to do.

Hechmen 101. When the boss gets stabbed. Take off.

Categories
Filmsack Notes

Moonraker

Moonraker (1979) (126 min – Rated: PG)

Moonraker (1979) is the eleventh spy film in the James Bond series, and the fourth to star Roger Moore as the fictional MI6 agent James Bond. The third and final film in the series to be directed by Lewis Gilbert, it co-stars Lois Chiles, Michael Lonsdale, Corinne Cléry, and Richard Kiel. Bond investigates the theft of a space shuttle, leading him to Hugo Drax, the owner of the shuttle’s manufacturing firm. Along with space scientist Dr. Holly Goodhead, Bond follows the trail from California to Venice, Rio de Janeiro, and the Amazon rainforest, and finally into outer space to prevent a plot to wipe out the world population and to re-create humanity with a master race.

Opener: Welcome to my castle James, as you can see I am insanely rich…and I like to play the piano for hot lady models in the morning and feed my doberman’s red meat which I keep in this silver serving tray…also, this is my asian servant. He will surely be performing some kind of karate on you shortly.

Twitter:  Moonraker – Like jumping from a plane with a parachute then having it ripped away from you about halfway down. up until then it was a lot of fun. now…a lot of arm waving and screaming.

 

Stuff I Loved:

Gah…you got me…you well dressed man…guess that is what I get for looking down the barrel of my gun…from the inside.

We named the space shuttle Moonraker…crap…wrong bond.

Sweet. Look at these convenient human sized cargo holds.

Andy Samberg’s dad is one of the shuttle thieves

OOOOHH..Red Phone! Batman….where is the cake cover?

Ha…this movie is puny.  Last leg.

Who wears a parachute helmet like that…

Punches and kicks used to sound weird in movies.

Must keep hands in frame as I chase down guy for parachute.

Alright…I don’t care what you say….the skydive fight scene is one of the best in bond.

What’s the difference between skydiving and falling to your death. A parachute and a lot of screaming and arm waving.

Ha!! Loved the look Jaws when he realized his rip cord was useless.

mmmm…Broccoli

Hey…these bond chics aren’t even nekk’d in the opening scenes.

Can we just say how iconic the bond intros are. Wait…that was a booby. Apparently, if a booby shot is over 30 years old it is PG. Cause that lady is probably a grandma by now…and grandma boobs are PG..what teenager would get excited at 30 year old booby.

Look at this..it’s a mirror.

A “fine tooth” comb

Standard issue minigun watch.

So this is top secret location then…I mean with the big “Moonraker” stenciling on the

As part of worker conformity week…everybody has to wear tight white polyester workout uniforms…and we are going to be doing a lot of toe touches.

I am insanely rich…and I like to play the piano for hotties in the morning and feed my doberman’s red meat I keep in this silver serving tray…also, this is my asian servant. He will surely be performing some kind of karate on your shortly.

Cucumber Sandwich? No? Then how about

Dr. GoodHead…I don’t get it. Is that some kind of sexual reference?

Nerdy Sexy ladies. “Holly Goodhead” Who turns that into something naughty. Because really…there is nothing very sexual about the name Goodhead…I mean…it probably is just a family name that means her forefathers were probably smart as well…but nooooo…Bond has nothing but sex on the mind.

I have a “chicken switch”

Hey…while you are here…I think we should randomly put you into a g-force machine…that probably takes about 8 hours to calibrate before anyone gets in…but we got it all warmed up for you.

Push the Chicken Switch ya durn fool!

Calculating…calculating. You are screwed.

Everybody knows you keep the primary motivator for a g-force machine in the dashboard.

If you shoot the speedometer in a machine it will stop…dur.

I can’t walk after I get off a tire swing. No way could I take that many g’s and walk away.

I don’t think she wants to kiss you bond. No wait…I was wrong. Bow-chic-a-bow-wow

That chic just told you she didn’t know how to read. But you just kept right on shagging her didn’t you. She needs your help to get out of an abusive relationship not your penis Mr. Bond. Not your penis.

beep beep boop….beep beep boop.

Oh you impressed the illiterate house slave with your fancy electronic safe opening tools.

Ha…007 spy camera. Bet I want one of those.

Dude…that cook is one bad apple. When does he have time to cook anything stalking bond.

Part of our Astronaut training is shooting pheasant

2001 space odyssey?

I am rich…..see…I even have a little broom in my hat…I use it to sweep up little messes when my servants are not looking.  

Come on randy…you can’t tell me he shot a man out of a tree with a shotgun.

Run lady…run! She never even got to learn how to read.

Climb a tree stupid. You can’t outrun dogs. You can outclimb them. Bam…that’s why dogs hate cats.

Dang the glass lady is hot.

Go anywhere you wish….wait! not there stupid. Why you take me so literal…that is staff only.

Hey lady…they have better security on a phone at walmart. beeeep…yeah…that is going to stop me from stealing a 1 million dollar glass thingy.

I would love to ride on one of those Italian mime boats…as long as it doesn’t go up against one of the knife throwing casket boats.

If your whole schtick is knives….maybe you should be a little better than that. Imagine all the hours of prep work to just take one to the chest by an amatuer.

Wait…whose boat is that? Was that mime pilot in co-hoots? cause bond just totally sold that dude out.

Red ribbon straw hats are not for everyone.

What the crap…is that the tone from Close Encounters of the Third Kind? It was!

Trivia:

For the scene involving the opening of the musical electronic laboratory door lock in Venice, producer Albert R. Broccoli requested special permission from director Steven Spielberg to use the five-note melody from his film Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977). In 1985, Broccoli would return the favour by fulfilling Spielberg’s request to use the James Bond theme music for a scene in his film, The Goonies (1985)

Eeek…somebody took the raptor dna

Way to go bond…you just killed us all.

The accidental murderer…sorry Lab techs…I left this where it would fall and kill you all.

Bond has on clonky shoes…should be easy to find.

Like a bamboo fencer in a glass shop.

“You!!….You put mayonnaise on my cucumber sandwich and now this…oh you are so going down…also…you scream like you have a deviated septum.”

Bond is way OP

Standard CIA equipment? You mean like a purse phone?

Does CW mean anything to you? Yes…Supernatural. The Hugleys

Dang…I don’t remember scary clown suit…that was awesome!!

Secret agents have secret fights…fight club? Never let the public know.

alright…alright…you have steel teeth…but does that give you superhuman jaw strength?

Apparently he already had plenty of strength…nevermind…can climb

“His name is jaws…he kills people” – I just wrote your wiki

Dolly. I think that pushup bra may be pushing up too much.

Look at that grill

Nothing suspicious about a bunch of dudes rushing to your aid with some

Worst ambulance driver ever

7Up had a vested interest in this movie

You would really think there would be better rear doors with some kind of safety thing to keep people from flying out of the rear of them and rolling down the street. Same with Herts.

Wait…when did this become a western? and Karate Monks. What the crap…Laser guns! SOLD

Don’t see too many River speed boats.

These boat henchmen really conform to the henchmen uniform code.

There is a lot of action in this movie.

I would have thought there would have been a lot more moon in MoonRaker

Bond seems to be all about timing. I can’t remember the last time I was parasailing and saw a beautiful woman lead me on a foot chase.

Man…Roger Moore has a cleft in his chin to make someone with a clefty chin jealous.

These women take a weird pleasure in watching a dude die

Jaws loves grabbing people by the head.

Holy cow. 6 MoonRakers!

I’m starting to think some of these dude just joined the moonraker initiative to make out with models.

Lasers!

Jaws turns out to be a good guy

All the lasers are blue…how are you suppose to know who the bad guy is?

Drax should just shut up.

 

Categories
Filmsack Notes

Road House

Roadhouse (1989)  114 min  Rated R

Road House is a 1989 action film directed by Rowdy Herrington and starring Patrick Swayze as a bouncer at a newly refurbished roadside bar who protects a small town in Missouri from a corrupt businessman.[3] Sam Elliott also plays a bouncer, the mentor, friend and foil of Swayze’s character. The cast also includes Kelly Lynch as Swayze’s love interest, and Ben Gazzara as the main antagonist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_House_(1989_film)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098206/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Opener: Hi. I’m 80s Swayze…the best Swayze…and you may not know this about me. But I can communicate with horses. True true…I talk to Uncle Jessies horses at the place I am renting from…we have crumpettes and tea and talk about the rich man next door.at least Until he flies in with his helicopter and then we run like crazy…wheee he he he

Twitter: Road House – like the sign over the toilet that says “don’t eat the big white mint”  It may not be neccessary but it makes you giggle. Double duece

Stuff I Loved:

Road Horse: Not the movie you were expecting.

Bumble Bee dress

There are only a handful of classic 80s movies that I didn’t see during the 80s. This one was one of them. Top Gun and Footloose were the other two. This one has been the only one that I thought I might have actually regretted not see sooner.

I think it is time you gentlemen leave.

Did you just stab me? For reals.

The double deuce?

The kind of place they sweep up the eyeballs afterwards? what the hell?

Pecker Head….one of my favorite phrases after Scroat Bag

For A Great Buick? Is that the car salesman guy later?

Drain The Main Vein

Hey Uncle Jessie. I’m home

3 rules

1. Never underestimate your opponent

2. Take it outside

3. Be nice

It’s a sears credit card….It’s ok… We have tools here. “There….I just made your movie better

What! I can’t do it doggy style on my break? That’s crap!

You the boy from the double deuce?

Hey boy? What you doing out there with no shirt on? You trying to beat up the wind?

If you are going to send your dream team to beat up Dalton. Might could do better than Jake and the Fatman and a quarter of Simon & Simon

Degree in philosophy. Man’s Search for faith. NYU

Pretty sure no one has ever picked up a doctor lady with….”Meet me at the double duece.”

BIG FOOT!

Not real sure when I am supposed to be laughing during this movie.

He Hates These Cans!!

Terribly Observant Hero. Trope.

No…No a hobby horse does not have any dick. Wooden or otherwise.

Man that Sam guy sure is sexy.

“Don’t eat the big white mint.” Potty humor

Urban Legend. Fat Guys can fight.

Town of flip floppers. Yay good guys….yay bad guys…everybody loves a winner!!

Getting a little Doctor Side Thigh

she is making duck faces

You got a woman up there?

Categories
Filmsack Notes

Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble (1991)  94 min Rated PG-13

Nothing But Trouble is a 1991 American horror comedy, directed by and co-starring Dan Aykroyd, who also co-wrote the screenplay with his brother Peter. The cast featured Chevy Chase, John Candy, and Demi Moore, with Taylor Negron, Raymond J. Barry, and Brian Doyle-Murray, in supporting roles.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_but_Trouble_(1991_film)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Opener: Just like Chevy Chase I knew I was in trouble when Demi Moore stepped out of the elevator in her white high waisted jumper with hair designed by Edward Scissorhands. Hubba Hubba. Hoola Hoola you got front seat to the mexican hat dance.  Thanks for the sack of shit listener who sent in the 4:3 Aspect ratio DVD.

What? this isn’t a prosthetic nose? It’s a penis?

No one tell Dan…but he put the dildo on his face.

Who would win! Shock G vs Dan Aykroyd

Did you see how happy Tu Pac was when Aykroyd was playing the organ. He was all like…cover laughing mouth with hand and point with the other.

Happy Tu Pac

Twitter: Nothing but trouble – This movie got it’s taint on me so now I have to marry it.  also, if noses were penises…1 eyed Russian

Stuff I Loved:

Classy opening. The Simple Life. Juxtaposed over high society living.

4:3 aspect ratio

1 eyed Russian

Sour Lemonade

read my newsletter

The best place to run into a chic when you live in a fancy building. The dog walk.

Thanks for the Espresso maker and bag of shit.

Nobody says shit like Chevy Chase.

Brazillionaires…ha ha. Pun-y

We are painting Chevy Chase as a douche

Give me the keys Mike

Hubba Hubba Edward Scissor hands hair and high waisted jumper shorts

GPS in 1991? GPS Cartridge?

He should have obeyed the law!

Sell pork bellies buy gold.

Evel Knievel and Mr. Clean

Bedazzled stop sign.

Antonio the butler forgot the butter.

Running from the cops. Never a good idea. Was it in 1991?

Chevy Chase is a sarcastic liar

Were the Brazilian brother and sister needed?

Flipper is dead?

Shire Reeve?

The actors must read every sign. Aloud.

A bunch of spiders in a cake

Put out that Dog Rocket!

all good bad guys have a trap door

comedy horror is Aykroyd’s thing.

Is that a Baldwin?

Bloodless slaughter

Akroyd is the most entertaining part of the movie

Warm Glass of Hawaiian Punch

John Candy as a woman. Me…disturbed.

Tongue Winkled

Lots of slang talk with the Reeve

That is some seriously wicked looking weiners.

Hillbilly story.

Stephen King couldn’t have written it better.

Watching old man Aykroyd eat that dog was highly entertaining

You peeled the correct banana there.

Who is the nothing but trouble part?

Do we see eyes in paintings anymore? Even in comedies?

Silent Scream Chevy is hilairous

Do you guys remember the amazing stories about the guy who was too stubborn to die?

Car phones!

The baby brothers.

I know the Ball Ping Hammer is round.

Greasy giant babies

Funhouse

Mr. Bonestripper

Extremly Draculated

She’s got your taint on her now.

Shock G….. Know what I’m saying.

If Humpty Hump showed up earlier and more often…this movie would have been awesome.

I could have watched a Scooby Doo episode of Digital Underground. Nothing But Trouble.

I had to drink Crystal Head Vodka to understand this movie.

A lot of people blame the horribleness of this movie on Dan Aykroyd, since he wrote directed and starred in the movie. I only blame Aykroyd for being polite. He should have brought the smack down on his friend Chevy Chase for not bringing his A-game and John Candy…where was he!

NapMare. This whole movie was a napmare

Didn’t notice the reeve had a penis nose until the final scene

A few years after Christmas Vacation. Chase never recovered after this movie.

This DVD is a direct rip of the Video Tape

Categories
Filmsack Notes

Revenge Of The Ninja

Revenge of the Ninja (1983) (90 minutes – Rated: R)

After his family is killed in Japan by ninjas, Cho and his son Kane come to America to start a new life. He opens a doll shop but is unwittingly importing heroin in the dolls. When he finds out that his friend has betrayed him, Cho must prepare for the ultimate battle he has ever been involved in.

Opener:

Oh no. Someone killed my in-laws. Bummer. Well that kind of suuuu….Oh no! My son took a throwing star to the head! Storm drain surprise ninja sword attack.

Twitter:  Revenge Of The Ninja – opening credits that totally made me want to order chinese food with it’s fanc

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086192/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenge_of_the_ninja

 

Stuff I Loved:

The opening credit font makes me want to order some Kung Pow chicken…which I believe is chinese and not japenese. I am so conflicted.

Worst ninjas ever. Of course if you are only sneaking up on old ladies and children. Maybe your skills are suffiecient.

Killing that old dude was a little bit of overkill.

Ninja Team! unite….oh oh….scatter…scatter!! Real men are coming!…uh oh…I think I was suppose to exit stage right..but I went stage left. damn it Ho…you screwed me up.

They killed my extended family! nooo…wait…is that my son with a throwing star in his head…dangit!

Storm drain surprise sword attack! crap. Fail!

Hey look cho…I shot me a ninja off the roof…oh yeah…I just caught an arrow with my teeth.

What kind of crappy ninjas are these? I’ve seen better ninjas on the A-Team.

Bird formation Ninja Team….

Ooops. I think I let that smoke bomb go off at the wrong time. I think I was suppose to do something when that happened…can we refilm that scene? Nope? Hiyaaaa

Your movie made Bruce Lee cry.

Where the crap was grandma?

That first baby cry when grandma was hovering over the dead boy…I thought she farted or something.

Who is this white dude that wants Cho to come to the US so bad.

Do you see this? Yeah…we see it…it’s a cheap bubble gum machine trinket. Is this what all this fighting is over? Here…have a quarter…get another one.

You can not escape your Karmas

Hey look…a kid at least 3 years younger than us wearing a pink croc shirt from JC Penney’s is walking home with his grandma…maybe we should start a fight….oh crap…he’s asian…bet he knows Ninja’ing

What have I told you about beating up stupid american kids.

Look grandma…if you show me that stupid pendant again and tell me about my heritage on more time…well…I’m going to ninja chop your head clean off.

Hot blonde. This movie just increased in sexiness by 200%

You forgot your pants! But you did wear panty hose. oooo….control top. Very nice.

Why don’t women wear this little twisty bands anymore.

You have excellent taste in dolls and Neon cho.

Even Ninja Doll with slice your arse.

Why is this doll full of fun dip. WooooooooooOOooOOo These dolls rock!

Braden (Raiden) is my super secret ninja name. Which I tell everyone. NINJA!

I will make the no-no hand sign. Cause you don’t even know me yet.

Nooo…not my good eye…why would you ninja my good eye!

What is this…hide the sex from the camera man. he is having to walk all over the apartment to locate the source of the sex noises. Is it in this porn mag? nope…on the tv? no huh. Bed. Hmmm…ahhhh…Hot tub.

Nothing says cool jive cat like a jacket thrown over your shoulder that you have no intention on wearing.

The fight scene choreography in this film looks like it was done by a group on 12 year olds. Which is why it is awesome!

Ninja weapon. The length of the blade is very precise. No one could figure this exact length out.

Look…it I need someone to catch my coffee I will give you a call.

Everybody knows Indians are the best ninjas

Everyone knows that when you are being chased by a street clothes Ninja in your 76 VW Van that there is no way in hell you just stop the van. Even if you are getting your trash kicked…screw it…keep the pedal to the metal.

Nothing more humiliating than getting kicked in the nuts and dropping the barrel you are holding over your head.

Oh wait…we have guns…why are we trying hand to hand combat with a ninja.

Either those are ninja pants or Cho has some really thick leg skin. No road rash after getting drug a few miles on the pavement.

Does a ninja really need a little rope ladder to enter in through a sky light? Shouldn’t he be able to flip or something.

Grandma ninja is on the level of full body motion yoda.

ahhhh…ancient ninja secret.

oh wait..they have steps. Why didn’t I just take the steps.

They are no dolls! They are action figures. Filled with Drugs!

The Playground Gang. Cowboy Pimp, Hawaain Biker, Kamazai Latino and well…really offensive portrayal of a black guy hiding behind a post and using a pistol.

I just happen to carry a few japanese fans…in case things get hot. Yaaaahaaaa.

heeey…I never heard of no ninja slap. That is unfair woman.

The only thing this movie is missing is a ninja dog. or cat. I would settle for cat.

What the crap fell off the kid when the girl kidnapped him and carried little Cho off?

Ninja bag. I need one.

Death by spa jets. weird

ha…I need a box of ninja stuff…but it needs to be air tight…so I can put some kind of ninja smoke in it. That way when I open it up 6 years later the smoke will escape when I open it…making it very dramatic and crap.

Are we going to fight or play tennis?

Ninja Air Blade Fight!

Ninja Flame Thrower…can’t be easy to move with that.

Ninjas do not wear eye liner…dangit!