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Filmsack Notes

Sum Of All Fears

The Sum Of All Fears (2002) (124 min – Rated: PG-13)

The Sum of All Fears is a 2002 American action/political thriller film directed by Phil Alden Robinson and based on Tom Clancy‘s novel of the same name. Starring Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman, it was released by Paramount Pictures in the United States on May 31, 2002.

This fourth film in the Jack Ryan film series is a reboot set in 2002, with Ryan portrayed as younger than in the 1990 film The Hunt for Red October (set in 1984) starring Alec Baldwin, and in that film’s sequels, Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger, both of which starred Harrison Ford.

The Sum of All Fears was partially filmed in Ottawa, Ontario, at the Diefenbunker.[2]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sum_of_All_Fears_(film)

Opener:

“Honey, you are not going to believe this.. I think Ben Affleck just carjacked me. What the hell. First the nuclear bomb…now this. Hold on…WTF I can see him from here…he just wrecked my car! worst day ever. No wait. He just jumped out of my car. Oh great. it’s exploding now. Thanks a lot reindeer games.”

Twitter:  The Sum Of All Fears: This movie is a lot like the book in the fact that  I had to read most of it. Also Scott, According to Excel. The Sum Of All Fears is NaN

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164184/?ref_=sr_1

 

Stuff I Loved:

Sum Of All Fears. Punched it into Excel. Sum(All Fears)

According to Excel. The Sum Of All Fears is NaN

This movie is a lot like the book. In the fact I had to read most of it.

POV Missile

Hey…It’s oporetic! That means it is Tragically beautiful.

Oops we shot down your one plane. Might want a backup plan

Awww…picture of pilots family. Now I can about him.

“Fat boy DOWN!”

Tom Clancey! Clancey!

Serious conversations should not be held in the long halls of military installments if your actors are old and out of shape.

LOOK AT THE URGENCY…Oh look…we are in the ready room. Nobody got anything to say now? no….nothing? talked it all out have we?

Hotline!

These guys are American as they get. They can’t pronounce shit.

Look at that young Ben Affleck.

Did Affleck get that office honey pregnant.

Matthew Lillard and Quentin Tarnteno child

Schlinzky vs Balinski conversation

Would you please help me with the Fat Boy

“What…I’m fine…I’m good…HEARTATTACK!”

Beepers. Dated my films since the late 90’s and early 2000s

Sandra Bullock look alike….Poor Ben has a problem

For a while all Ben Affleck did was scan a script for sexy brunette roll scene. That was how he rolled. Animal Crackers were a bonus.

“What is this? The Paper Chase?” Who gets that reference now?

When Morgan Freeman dresses you. You do it. Lucky for you he didn’t have a problem with your tightie whities

Bum Back For Affleck. Doesn’t show it. Might have to call the insurance fraud division.

He is the Historian! Watches film of news footage of international political figures and makes predictions…that make it no further than the office watercooler.

“Hey honey. I’m on a plane. Not going to make our date. I work for the CIA.”

When you are showing footage of Russian. You must overlay that with some classy Russian oooooh music. Because Russia is depressing.

There is no joy here in Russia

What? are you building russian scientist fantasy team. back off yankee. They just ain’t here.

Let’s speak convenient English. cause I am sure the audience is tired or reading subtitles.

This movie brought to you by “Satellite Shot”.. because when you need a location change card…only a space shot will do.

Netscape email address. You know it’s time to get serious.

Love Liev Schriber

Ben Affleck is never dressed for the occasion.

yeah…nothing suspicious about a cigarette machine. Do they still have those?

Crowd shot. All these people are dead. Kid Dead. Dude Dead. This group of people. Dead. Save the president.

Outrun a nuclear bomb. Sure thing.

Plot for The Sum Of All Fears is essentially punching one bully in the back and pointing at the other bully.

You want to pull my heart strings. Kill a puppy. Or even worse. Morgan Freeman in your movie.

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Filmsack Notes

Escape From L.A.

Escape From L.A. (1996)  91 min  Rated R

Escape from L.A. (also known as John Carpenter’s Escape From L.A.) is a 1996 American science fiction action film co-written, co-scored, and directed by John Carpenter, co-written and produced by Debra Hill and Kurt Russell, with Russell also starring as Snake Plissken. A sequel of Escape from New York, Escape from L.A. co-stars Steve Buscemi, Stacy Keach, Bruce Campbell, and Pam Grier.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_from_LA

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116225/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Opener: Wait, it’s 2013 NOW…enter the stupid  secret world code already Kurt Russell  !!! ..before I have  to watch this stupid movie. Welcome to the human “dis”-grace!

Twitter: Escape From L.A. –

tobacco, alcoholic beverages, red meat, firearms,

Not since Woody Harrelson have I pulled so hard for a white boy to throw an air ball

I don’t think you are suppose to be pulling for an Air Ball from your hero during The arena of Basketball Death but…you do. Gonna call this ESCAPE FROM JOHN CARPENTER.

 

About halfway through this movie you wish you were a hologram

Stuff I Loved:

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Filmsack Notes

Road House

Roadhouse (1989)  114 min  Rated R

Road House is a 1989 action film directed by Rowdy Herrington and starring Patrick Swayze as a bouncer at a newly refurbished roadside bar who protects a small town in Missouri from a corrupt businessman.[3] Sam Elliott also plays a bouncer, the mentor, friend and foil of Swayze’s character. The cast also includes Kelly Lynch as Swayze’s love interest, and Ben Gazzara as the main antagonist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_House_(1989_film)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098206/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Opener: Hi. I’m 80s Swayze…the best Swayze…and you may not know this about me. But I can communicate with horses. True true…I talk to Uncle Jessies horses at the place I am renting from…we have crumpettes and tea and talk about the rich man next door.at least Until he flies in with his helicopter and then we run like crazy…wheee he he he

Twitter: Road House – like the sign over the toilet that says “don’t eat the big white mint”  It may not be neccessary but it makes you giggle. Double duece

Stuff I Loved:

Road Horse: Not the movie you were expecting.

Bumble Bee dress

There are only a handful of classic 80s movies that I didn’t see during the 80s. This one was one of them. Top Gun and Footloose were the other two. This one has been the only one that I thought I might have actually regretted not see sooner.

I think it is time you gentlemen leave.

Did you just stab me? For reals.

The double deuce?

The kind of place they sweep up the eyeballs afterwards? what the hell?

Pecker Head….one of my favorite phrases after Scroat Bag

For A Great Buick? Is that the car salesman guy later?

Drain The Main Vein

Hey Uncle Jessie. I’m home

3 rules

1. Never underestimate your opponent

2. Take it outside

3. Be nice

It’s a sears credit card….It’s ok… We have tools here. “There….I just made your movie better

What! I can’t do it doggy style on my break? That’s crap!

You the boy from the double deuce?

Hey boy? What you doing out there with no shirt on? You trying to beat up the wind?

If you are going to send your dream team to beat up Dalton. Might could do better than Jake and the Fatman and a quarter of Simon & Simon

Degree in philosophy. Man’s Search for faith. NYU

Pretty sure no one has ever picked up a doctor lady with….”Meet me at the double duece.”

BIG FOOT!

Not real sure when I am supposed to be laughing during this movie.

He Hates These Cans!!

Terribly Observant Hero. Trope.

No…No a hobby horse does not have any dick. Wooden or otherwise.

Man that Sam guy sure is sexy.

“Don’t eat the big white mint.” Potty humor

Urban Legend. Fat Guys can fight.

Town of flip floppers. Yay good guys….yay bad guys…everybody loves a winner!!

Getting a little Doctor Side Thigh

she is making duck faces

You got a woman up there?

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Filmsack Notes

Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble (1991)  94 min Rated PG-13

Nothing But Trouble is a 1991 American horror comedy, directed by and co-starring Dan Aykroyd, who also co-wrote the screenplay with his brother Peter. The cast featured Chevy Chase, John Candy, and Demi Moore, with Taylor Negron, Raymond J. Barry, and Brian Doyle-Murray, in supporting roles.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_but_Trouble_(1991_film)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102558/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Opener: Just like Chevy Chase I knew I was in trouble when Demi Moore stepped out of the elevator in her white high waisted jumper with hair designed by Edward Scissorhands. Hubba Hubba. Hoola Hoola you got front seat to the mexican hat dance.  Thanks for the sack of shit listener who sent in the 4:3 Aspect ratio DVD.

What? this isn’t a prosthetic nose? It’s a penis?

No one tell Dan…but he put the dildo on his face.

Who would win! Shock G vs Dan Aykroyd

Did you see how happy Tu Pac was when Aykroyd was playing the organ. He was all like…cover laughing mouth with hand and point with the other.

Happy Tu Pac

Twitter: Nothing but trouble – This movie got it’s taint on me so now I have to marry it.  also, if noses were penises…1 eyed Russian

Stuff I Loved:

Classy opening. The Simple Life. Juxtaposed over high society living.

4:3 aspect ratio

1 eyed Russian

Sour Lemonade

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The best place to run into a chic when you live in a fancy building. The dog walk.

Thanks for the Espresso maker and bag of shit.

Nobody says shit like Chevy Chase.

Brazillionaires…ha ha. Pun-y

We are painting Chevy Chase as a douche

Give me the keys Mike

Hubba Hubba Edward Scissor hands hair and high waisted jumper shorts

GPS in 1991? GPS Cartridge?

He should have obeyed the law!

Sell pork bellies buy gold.

Evel Knievel and Mr. Clean

Bedazzled stop sign.

Antonio the butler forgot the butter.

Running from the cops. Never a good idea. Was it in 1991?

Chevy Chase is a sarcastic liar

Were the Brazilian brother and sister needed?

Flipper is dead?

Shire Reeve?

The actors must read every sign. Aloud.

A bunch of spiders in a cake

Put out that Dog Rocket!

all good bad guys have a trap door

comedy horror is Aykroyd’s thing.

Is that a Baldwin?

Bloodless slaughter

Akroyd is the most entertaining part of the movie

Warm Glass of Hawaiian Punch

John Candy as a woman. Me…disturbed.

Tongue Winkled

Lots of slang talk with the Reeve

That is some seriously wicked looking weiners.

Hillbilly story.

Stephen King couldn’t have written it better.

Watching old man Aykroyd eat that dog was highly entertaining

You peeled the correct banana there.

Who is the nothing but trouble part?

Do we see eyes in paintings anymore? Even in comedies?

Silent Scream Chevy is hilairous

Do you guys remember the amazing stories about the guy who was too stubborn to die?

Car phones!

The baby brothers.

I know the Ball Ping Hammer is round.

Greasy giant babies

Funhouse

Mr. Bonestripper

Extremly Draculated

She’s got your taint on her now.

Shock G….. Know what I’m saying.

If Humpty Hump showed up earlier and more often…this movie would have been awesome.

I could have watched a Scooby Doo episode of Digital Underground. Nothing But Trouble.

I had to drink Crystal Head Vodka to understand this movie.

A lot of people blame the horribleness of this movie on Dan Aykroyd, since he wrote directed and starred in the movie. I only blame Aykroyd for being polite. He should have brought the smack down on his friend Chevy Chase for not bringing his A-game and John Candy…where was he!

NapMare. This whole movie was a napmare

Didn’t notice the reeve had a penis nose until the final scene

A few years after Christmas Vacation. Chase never recovered after this movie.

This DVD is a direct rip of the Video Tape

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Filmsack Notes

Revenge Of The Ninja

Revenge of the Ninja (1983) (90 minutes – Rated: R)

After his family is killed in Japan by ninjas, Cho and his son Kane come to America to start a new life. He opens a doll shop but is unwittingly importing heroin in the dolls. When he finds out that his friend has betrayed him, Cho must prepare for the ultimate battle he has ever been involved in.

Opener:

Oh no. Someone killed my in-laws. Bummer. Well that kind of suuuu….Oh no! My son took a throwing star to the head! Storm drain surprise ninja sword attack.

Twitter:  Revenge Of The Ninja – opening credits that totally made me want to order chinese food with it’s fanc

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086192/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenge_of_the_ninja

 

Stuff I Loved:

The opening credit font makes me want to order some Kung Pow chicken…which I believe is chinese and not japenese. I am so conflicted.

Worst ninjas ever. Of course if you are only sneaking up on old ladies and children. Maybe your skills are suffiecient.

Killing that old dude was a little bit of overkill.

Ninja Team! unite….oh oh….scatter…scatter!! Real men are coming!…uh oh…I think I was suppose to exit stage right..but I went stage left. damn it Ho…you screwed me up.

They killed my extended family! nooo…wait…is that my son with a throwing star in his head…dangit!

Storm drain surprise sword attack! crap. Fail!

Hey look cho…I shot me a ninja off the roof…oh yeah…I just caught an arrow with my teeth.

What kind of crappy ninjas are these? I’ve seen better ninjas on the A-Team.

Bird formation Ninja Team….

Ooops. I think I let that smoke bomb go off at the wrong time. I think I was suppose to do something when that happened…can we refilm that scene? Nope? Hiyaaaa

Your movie made Bruce Lee cry.

Where the crap was grandma?

That first baby cry when grandma was hovering over the dead boy…I thought she farted or something.

Who is this white dude that wants Cho to come to the US so bad.

Do you see this? Yeah…we see it…it’s a cheap bubble gum machine trinket. Is this what all this fighting is over? Here…have a quarter…get another one.

You can not escape your Karmas

Hey look…a kid at least 3 years younger than us wearing a pink croc shirt from JC Penney’s is walking home with his grandma…maybe we should start a fight….oh crap…he’s asian…bet he knows Ninja’ing

What have I told you about beating up stupid american kids.

Look grandma…if you show me that stupid pendant again and tell me about my heritage on more time…well…I’m going to ninja chop your head clean off.

Hot blonde. This movie just increased in sexiness by 200%

You forgot your pants! But you did wear panty hose. oooo….control top. Very nice.

Why don’t women wear this little twisty bands anymore.

You have excellent taste in dolls and Neon cho.

Even Ninja Doll with slice your arse.

Why is this doll full of fun dip. WooooooooooOOooOOo These dolls rock!

Braden (Raiden) is my super secret ninja name. Which I tell everyone. NINJA!

I will make the no-no hand sign. Cause you don’t even know me yet.

Nooo…not my good eye…why would you ninja my good eye!

What is this…hide the sex from the camera man. he is having to walk all over the apartment to locate the source of the sex noises. Is it in this porn mag? nope…on the tv? no huh. Bed. Hmmm…ahhhh…Hot tub.

Nothing says cool jive cat like a jacket thrown over your shoulder that you have no intention on wearing.

The fight scene choreography in this film looks like it was done by a group on 12 year olds. Which is why it is awesome!

Ninja weapon. The length of the blade is very precise. No one could figure this exact length out.

Look…it I need someone to catch my coffee I will give you a call.

Everybody knows Indians are the best ninjas

Everyone knows that when you are being chased by a street clothes Ninja in your 76 VW Van that there is no way in hell you just stop the van. Even if you are getting your trash kicked…screw it…keep the pedal to the metal.

Nothing more humiliating than getting kicked in the nuts and dropping the barrel you are holding over your head.

Oh wait…we have guns…why are we trying hand to hand combat with a ninja.

Either those are ninja pants or Cho has some really thick leg skin. No road rash after getting drug a few miles on the pavement.

Does a ninja really need a little rope ladder to enter in through a sky light? Shouldn’t he be able to flip or something.

Grandma ninja is on the level of full body motion yoda.

ahhhh…ancient ninja secret.

oh wait..they have steps. Why didn’t I just take the steps.

They are no dolls! They are action figures. Filled with Drugs!

The Playground Gang. Cowboy Pimp, Hawaain Biker, Kamazai Latino and well…really offensive portrayal of a black guy hiding behind a post and using a pistol.

I just happen to carry a few japanese fans…in case things get hot. Yaaaahaaaa.

heeey…I never heard of no ninja slap. That is unfair woman.

The only thing this movie is missing is a ninja dog. or cat. I would settle for cat.

What the crap fell off the kid when the girl kidnapped him and carried little Cho off?

Ninja bag. I need one.

Death by spa jets. weird

ha…I need a box of ninja stuff…but it needs to be air tight…so I can put some kind of ninja smoke in it. That way when I open it up 6 years later the smoke will escape when I open it…making it very dramatic and crap.

Are we going to fight or play tennis?

Ninja Air Blade Fight!

Ninja Flame Thrower…can’t be easy to move with that.

Ninjas do not wear eye liner…dangit!

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Filmsack Notes

Star Trek: the Motion Picture

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)  132 min Rated PG

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a 1979 American science fiction film released by Paramount Pictures. It is the first film based on Star Trek, and a sequel to the Star Trek television series. The film is set in the twenty-third century, when a mysterious and immensely powerful alien cloud called V’Ger approaches Earth, destroying everything in its path. Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) assumes command of his previous starship—the recently refitted USS Enterprise—to lead it on a mission to save the planet and determine V’Ger’s origins.

Opener: Inner monologue…Captain William Deckard….stardate Thursday something something. “I just had the weirdest encounter with Rear Admiral James T. Kirk. He seemed quite agitated about a meeting has to attend before boarding the Enterprise. For the life of me I can’t think of what kind of meeting would only take 3 minutes….Man I gotta poop. End Transm….ooooooh…3 minute meeting…End Transmission.”

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079945/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_The_Motion_Picture

Twitter:  Star Trek: The Motion Picture like a big foreheaded alien. It just goes on forever…and is occasionally bumpy.

If you thought the TV series was awesome. You might want to hold off on this Space Jammie ride.

Like a space walk with no thrusters. You keep hoping you might hit something.

Like K

Space Jammies.

Wormhole effect!!

I’m tripping yo!

Stuff I Loved:

These Klingons do not look too smart

Is this some kind of slumber party? Why is everybody in their pajamas.

Music Beats to feel the moment.

Vulcan inappropriate face touching

A 3 minute meeting…that’s pretty fast kirk. Meeting in the future are super short

Random spacewalker…5 points Scotty! 5 points! Oh…he’s a Vulcan….10 points! (Star Trek: Deathrace Editions.)

Those shuttles are like the Pacer of the future.

This is nothing like the TV series so far.

5 minutes of Shanter making eye love to the Enterprise set to the philharmonic orchestra may be a bit much. For Pete’s sake…get a room already. Enterprise…I am in you.

Any number of aliens manifested by forehead modifications.

Does that computer ever shut up.

Open air personal elevators

I ain’t towing anything out with my bare hands.

Wait! Does this mean I get a pay cut? Admirable

Get out of my face Captain Hot Breath. I’m the captain. I’m the captain.

Star Fleet Boost your what now?

More than 2 people a century die from transporter accidents.

Can you see my junk in this onsie?

Sucks to be you Klingon ship

Did you spot the Andorian!

“I’m going to make it!! I’m not going to be dematerialized!! I’m…ahh shit.”

What kind of alien are you? Oh…you just have a really big forehead. How unfortunate.

She’s Delta. Aka…hot bald lady…who has sworn off the sex. Dick…Deckard? Your name is Dick Deckard?

McCoy looking hot with a beard. and angry

Lens flare!!

Subspace Communication.

Wormhole effect!!

I’m tripping yo!

I think you have dick envy captain

Everybody had to get a shave and a haircut for this movie…too bad that one lady misunderstood the memo.

“I will discuss fuel equations with the engineer.” NERD!

We have achieved rainbow warp

Full Mag Sir.

Let’s send it a friendship message….:) 🙂 🙂

12 power!

This movie should be called…let’s all guess what Kirk wants to do. Can he not share anything! Blind obedience

The security officer looks like he is going to do some sparring

She looks a little worried!

This is a movie of staring.

I think we duplicated the being exactly as she looked. what should we put on her…how about a slinky bath robe…perfect.

How stupid do you think this probe is if you think you have to keep referring to yourself as the carbon units. .