INTRO
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Oh hi,
This week on FilmSack we really upset the kids by making out under the mistletoe with The BAT, The Cat and The funky Bird MAN when we RETURN to HBO Max Max for a little tongue action (gross not like that) for a little tongue action with this dark superhero sequel movie from 1992 directed by our favorite weirdo for one last dance with the devil in the pale moon light before things get all nipply outside…did I say nipple? Tis the season. Shocked Walken face. I saw kitty kissing (and licking) batty clause…underneath the mistletoe last night.. hey don’t eat that..it’s poison! did I guess the song ibbott? damnit.
Anywho, Do you guys ever just plop down in your leather chair full of middle aged rich man farts inside your mansion’s cold-ass dark study lit only by the moonlight while striking a Rodin’s (row·dan’s) Thinker Pose and contemplate the loneliness of your existence and pray to the gods that the police chief commissioner will waddle his way over to the “you signal” and send blinding light through a series of mirrors that will leave your face with both shock and confused annoyance. Finally, glorious purpose! wrong comic… same thread. To the Sad Cave!
Randy, I think Pee Wee’s Big Adventure here was that he diddled a penguin in the 50s.
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BRIEF
The monstrous Penguin (Danny DeVito), who lives in the sewers beneath Gotham, joins up with wicked shock-headed businessman Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) to topple the Batman (Michael Keaton) once and for all. But when Shreck’s timid assistant, Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer), finds out, and Shreck tries to kill her, she is transformed into the sexy Catwoman. She teams up with the Penguin and Shreck to destroy Batman, but sparks fly unexpectedly when she confronts the caped crusader.
LINKS
IMDB – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103776/
WIKIPEDIA – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman_Returns
Rotten Tomatoes – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/batman_returns
TVTropes – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/YMMV/BatmanReturns
WHERE TO WATCH
HBO Max – https://play.max.com/movie/7ebb10fa-4552-405c-a5d2-3cc5b21193c7
MORE WAYS TO WATCH – https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/batman-returns
TRAILER/CLIPS
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Social Media Post
Batman Returns (1992) – Like a bat, a cat and a penguin love sandwich …. who brought the sardines….. penguin!! #PeeWeePenguinLoveChild
SHOW NOTES
- He’s back.
- Let’s get into it.
- Is that Peewee Herman at the Window? Man that is a big place.
- That Doctor and nurse is like…fuuuuck this…out.
- Where do we keep our kitty killer kid? In the box by the Tree
- This is the most Tim Burton shit you can Tim Burton…
- Lets take the baby carriage out to the bridge…job done.
- He is the anti moses.
- Out of sight out of your mind.
- Meanwhile in the sewers under gotham…a floaty boaty pengiun baby
- Rich folks don’t know how to handle an ugly baby.
- Meanwhile, 33 years later…we have a Christmas movie.
- Another Pengiun sighting.
- Time fo the lighting to the tree…by a Gotham bunny.
- Read about the possible terror below our feet.
- Looking throw my flippers in the storm gate.
- Most of the time it is a waste of time.
- What do you suppose Alfred bought for Christmas
- That is not growth…that is a mild swelling.
- Ooooh…the timid coffee pourer has an idea. She hasn’t been house broken…cause…you know…foreshadowing.
- Actually more of a question. Corndog.
- What is up with the giant kitten cat mascot.
- Oh darn. I forgot my speech…take it out on the secretary.
- Expensive bobbles…so is Max Shrek a bobble head salesman?
- Suprise gift! A Trojan gift full of vodoo and clowns and a tommy gun in a box.
- Batman just sitting around the house waiting for the batsignal to be boosted and enhanced to his leather Batchair.
- Dad go…save yourself
- What is this circus show..
- Saving Christmas…Saving Christmas
- Batman ain’t even gonna get out of his car to fight this fight.
- Suck my bat flame.
- uh ow…you made Mr. Batman get out of his car.
- Wow…The Batman…
- Looks like the circus gang is back…
- It is a bunch of pengiuns..
- I believe the word you are looking for is ahhhhh.
- Actually this is all just a bad dream…you are home … Is this all just a dream as pengiun suggests.
- Canes and umbrellas … instruments of death.
- You are a wll respected monster…I am not.
- What you put in your toilet I put on my mantle.
- I wasn’t born in the sewers….I come from above…I just want to find out about my parents
- Hey Maxx rememeber me…I’m Fred’s hand.
- A little sewer blackmail. Let’s make a deal. Left holding the hand Mr. Shrek.
- She is kind of hilarious with her talking to herself dialogue.
- Maybe if you were chipping in instead of stepping out.
- I opened the protected files.
- All the underlighting is interesting.
- Instead of generating power it is sucking it and stockpiling it.
- What did curiosity do to the cat.
- I’m just an assistant.
- It’s not like you can just kill me.
- She went through the cats…but survivable
- Proof that cats are just waiting to eat you as soon are you fall from a high rise building.
- Honey, I’m home…oh yeah…I forgot I’m not married.
- Drink milk……like a lot.
- Have you used Gotham Lady Perfume.
- She hates this answering machine
- Time to murder all that is fluffy
- These cats are like…let’s follow this lady and see where this is going.
- Time to make a quick costume… I don’t know about you kitty…but I am feeling much yummier.
- Got your baby… see ya.
- Steal a baby, return a baby, become a hero.
- A Child who was born a little different.
- Batman is very contemplative in this movie.
- I want to find out more about my parents…Batman…I can relate.
- Pengiun grunts a lot while writing.
- Watching Batman eat Batsoup is gross… it is supposed to be cold.
- Poodle Lady, World’s Fattest man…and aquatic birdboy.
- I don’t know how I feel about avoiding the Batman Origin story but instead get a Penguin origin story.
- A pengiun is a bird that cannot fly. I am a man…I have a name.. Oswald Cobblepot.
- True I was their number 1 son…but they treated me like number 2.
- You don’t need hands when you have heart.
- Always waiting for some Batman to save you.
- I am Catwoman hear me roar…now excuse me while I flip on out of here.
- One can never have enough power.
- I don’t have a crime boss.
- He controls the red triangle gang.
- I thought I fired you…Selena Selena… Don’t wear it out..or I will make you buy me a new one.
- Who would have thought Selena had a brain to damage
- My nose could be gushing blood
- Go ahead and hit me. Bomb Pants
- Things change..
- A bat, a cat and a bird meet in the street.
- How could you…I’m a woman.
- Life’s a bitch and now so am I.
- Naked sexual charisma
- The Bat
- Just the pussy I am looking for.
- I will eat your bird…I’ll cut your cat…I’ll blow up your bat.
- Tree lights up and then I push the button…no no no
- Programmable bat-a-rang…what could go wrong.
- Secretary…Assistant…Executive Assistant.
- These 2 have the personality of 2 potatoes
- Always go for the soft Bat underbelly.
- Such a great Alfred
- Make a Sonnet or a Dirty Limrick or something
- Fully Standing and Erect Bat Suits
- Time to put on the Batmobile Bat Condom.
- It is not often Batman has his technology defeated.
- Eat Floor
- Hey Batman pushed the princess.
- Shoot first ask questions later.
- Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
- Cat licks.
- That makes 3 men who have tried to kill her this week. 6 lives left
- Drone Batmobile driven by a pengiun.
- Narrow Mobile.
- He didn’t lose a limb
- You got to admit I played this stinking city like a harp from hell.
- Pretty sure you can’t DJ scratch a CD.
- Booo…Penguin bad!
- Back to the rivers and lakes you are used to.
- I am not a human being…I am an animal
- The first born sons of Gotham city.
- A kiss under a mistletoe…wait…are you Batman…are you cat woman?
- Does this mean we have to start fighting?
- I am tired of wearing masks
- You didn’t invite me so I crashed.
- Time to attack the First Born Sons.
- Most of Gothams new borns are babies….but not Max…he full grown
- RSVP regrets from Batman.
- Penguins with freaking rockets
- Penguin Army…
- They wouldn’t put me on a pedestal..So I’m laying them on a slab!
- A bucket full of fish
- Decapped the penguins Yellow Duck Mobile
- He lives under an abandoned Zoo exhibit called Artic World.
- A die for a die
- Don’t you see…we’re the same. Split…right down the center.
- Bruce I would love to live with your in your castle.
- 2 lives left. I think I will save 1 for next Christmas.
- I will murder you momentarily.
- But first a drink of ice water.
- A Shocked faced Walken appears
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